Other Craptions

man, even Stalin's statues are dicks.

I told you this communism shit would get us fucked! You armless bastard.

Today, we're replacing Josef Stalin's vodka with ordinary river water. Let's see if he notices...

I guess that answers whether Stalin spits or swallows.

Russian Porn...outweirding German Porn since '86.

Groucho Marxism?

Lenin, I barf in your general direction!

Two statues, one cup.

That's what Lenin gets for giving arms to the revolution.

"I know we are all working together, but I don't swallow, Comrade."

The American equivalent would be one with George Bush dumping on the Constitution.

Having already amputated both arms, Stalin beheads Lenin with the spit-take trifecta.

Not shown: The underwater rusty trombone.

A little known fact is many world leaders are into projectile vomiting.

Say it, don't spray it, General!

The artisan who crafted this monument to the revolution had foresight and vision. Too bad Stalin had hime shot shortly after he finished this piece.

Vodka-flavored pond water, yum.

This is why communism failed. While they were spending time and money on art like this, glorifying the revolution, the US was building the Space Defense Initiative.

I don't know if there is a term in the urban dictionary for what we are seeing here.

Svetlana's wet dreams are getting weirder and weirder.

I'm trying to think of something clever, but I keep STALIN. (I am so very sorry.)

Lenin and Stalin always had a disagreement over whether or not Robert Pattison is a good actor or not.

Lenin just told him that he'd been peeing in the water.

Communism is an equal redistribution of wealth, much in the same manner that this fountain has equally redistributed the water.

Soviet "art" is even more inexplicable than Western "art".

Stalin was pissed because after he was done pleasuring Lenin, Lenin couldn't return the favor with a reach around.

Stalin! Dude! That is one hell of a spit take!

Scholars have long wondered if there was a tenth circle in Dante's Hell, what it was like, and who resided there. Now we know.

In one generation you're the most feared men in the world, the next your tacky lawn ornaments.

Russian sprinklers don't turn off.

the spitting image of Stalin

The Russian version of Groundhog Day.

You'd spit on Lenin too if he stuck a water pipe up yer ass!

I see Dan O'Brien is researching for his next article.

Stalin's a dick when he plays Marco Polo

Marxist... Polo!!!

Uncle Stalin was the uncle we never wanted to visit.

Actual fountain where Yakov Smirnoff drown himself when his stand up comedy career failed following the fall of Soviet Union.

Stalin's second great purge...and no one is going to get that reference.

Wait, I'm unarmed!

The Poles decided to honor Stalin by putting his statue in the one place pigeons wouldn't shit on him. Yeah, he murdered them all.

Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead.

Thanks Stalin, you've ruined yet another pool party.

Sincere diplomacy is no more possible than dry water from my mouth or wooden iron from my ass

Projectile Communism

When the flood waters recede, you'll find neither statue is wearing pants.

Seriously Joe...get a mint.

You can't see from this angle, but Churchill's about to cannonball them both.

It would have become the Soviet Mount Rushmore, had Stalin not liquidated the other statues