Other Craptions

It was the worse case of whiskey-dick that Earl had ever had.

Mardi Gross.

For every queen, a Crown.

Southwest Airlines called. You're too ugly to fly.

What happens in New Orleans stays...plastered on the internet forever.

Gives a whole new meaning to the word cocktail.

Marty Graw never missed an opportunity to live up to his name.

Crown jewels.

He had sex with this bottle after drinking some poor woman...

No, that's all right. Leave the cork in.

Reason 462 why I became a teetotaller. And lesbian. And a Canadian...

Even the homeless get a tooth fairy.

WARNING: THIS PICTURE MAY CAUSE CHILDREN TO CRY.

Boobs. Whiskey. Scanty amounts of clothing. *sigh* I gotta masturbate to this whether I like it or not.

This is the part of the story Kevin Smith neglected to Tweet.

It's always easy to tell when the Senate is back in session.

See, now he's lucky. To cover mine, I gotta use one of those Johnnie Walker 40 ounce bottles.

Recently, I found an age-gap site called __GrossAgedFriends.com__. My new boyfriend is a SKIN CANCER SURVIVOR! He is so proud to be CANCER-FREE, that he parades around MOSTLY NUDE all the time and will PARTY with anyone he sees! He says, "NO LESIONS

That's one hell of a colostomy bag, dude.

Fuck you, E-harmony.

You get drunk faster if you drink it through your dick.

Whatever, you should have seen what my Dad did for my 17th birthday.

Usually Crown Royal comes in a sack. Now it IS a sack.

Looks like his Genie got stuck on it's way out of the bottle...

"Show us your ti. . . NEVER MIND! NEVER MIND! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Thanks Cracked, now everyone knows what I look like.

desperately seeking a woman with a velvet bag for a vagina.

When our church's youth pastor lets loose, he really lets loose.

I always knew Crown Royal was piss...

He may be sober tomorrow, but he'll still be ugly.

All gay people really want is just a little respect.

"David, enough already. You're drinking iced tea. And we're in Kansas City."

Please drink responsibly.......are three words not in this guy's vocabulary.

Today, he may be King of Mardi Gras, but tomorrow, he has to go back and teach shop to a bunch of disinterested teenagers.

Before he dies of testicular cancer.

"This is a costume, and definitely not the result of me trying to fuck this bottle."

Middle Aged Fat Guys Gone Wild videos just aren't as exciting.

No, I do not want to see you do a cartwheel.

He looks like more of a Royal Crown guy.

The fine line between perseverance and denial.

You can't see it, but there is a Southern Comfort bottle hanging off his ass.

Crown Royal ... Imported from Canada.

Guaranteed to clear out a bar in seconds.

Somebody went fat for Fat Tuesday

Trivia: Crown Royal is distilled in Manitoba. I live in Manitoba. I've never felt so proud as I do at this very moment.

"I have no job and my wife just left me, but GO SAINTS!!!"

Man! Bare! Pig!

He should have called his mom.

The special olympics have their torch relay too.