Other Craptions

Goat Busters!

You know what? Don't Ask, Don't Tell has its limits.

This is why I haven't been submitting Craptions the last few days.

What's he doing with Julius?

The guy in green is a level 3 ranger, but the goat is actually a level 9 wizard.

Curses, Inu. It appears we have once again miscalculated our dimensional trajectory. When oh when will we find a universe that will accept our love?

Not everyone can have a cool Patronus like a wolf or a phoenix.

He has the axe, he has the goat, now all needs to do is find a cheap and willing hooker, and his weekend will be set!

"For your daughter's hand in marriage, Speaker Pelosi, I bring my finest goat, which I will now sacrifice to your lord Beelzebub."

British Boy Scouts Motto: Never leave evidence behind...

Clearly, he's responding to a Craigslist posting.

He's a lumberjack, it's ok.

Rambo, The End

That is not, in fact, Julius_Goat. It is Julius_Goat123, one of many accounts here on Cracked that just happen to vote for Julius_Goat's craptions on a regular basis.

He wants to take it to a movie, but wonders if he have to pay the kids fee.

The line outside the "America's Got Talent" auditions.

That does it, I'm changing my name to Julius_Stoat.

Aaaaah, prom night in Alabama.

Damn it all to hell I hate escort levels!

"What a weird looking dog."

I don't know what war he's going to fight, but it sure looks like FUN!

Jack may have traded the family cow for some magic beans, but he knew trading his Lamborghini for a magic goat was an even better deal.

I think he's following ewe.

Has he carried the concept of freedom too far? Or only to it's logical conclusion?

Alaska proudly greets its new governor

Goat of Arms

Poland, Europe's Mexico.

Need a Satanic Goat-Blood Sacrifice? Call Sven, the most qualified Devil Worshipper there is! 1-800-LUV-DEVL.

India's red carpet

You don't fuck with that kid.

Using hindsight, the way poor Gary was executed seemed inevitable. The people were scared and angry. They wanted a scapegoat. And, let's face it, Sergeant Literal was probably not the guy for the job.

You know what, forget it. I really don't want to know what goes on at freemason ceremonies anymore.

While a lot of people may discuss the horrors of dog fighting, the tragedy of goat fighting goes on unabated.

damn, we could bring our wives?

Don't worry. He just wants to axe you something.

Why suddenly in restaurants we will see "No shoes, no shirt, no pants...and a goat...no service"

Know your ranks - he's a MAJOR goatfucker.

He must be into butt sex.

"Do they let kids in this bar?"

The safe word is airplane.

Lumberjack and his friend Goat had many wondrous adventures...like the time they didn't have to wait in line to get into a movie...

At least he was thoughtful enough to curb his goat.

Which Narnia story is this?

The Boyscouts haven't changed a BIT since I left!

EL-AL, still the SAFEST Airline in the world. You DON'T want to know how they do it...

Paul Bunyan and Babe go to the city

The Goat division of the National Guard is mostly responsible for stopping the spread of terrorist crab grass.

This really gets my goat.

I know it's economical to brown-bag your lunch, but for Christ's sake...