Other Craptions

Don't fear the Reaper. On the other hand, you might want to keep your distance from the Reaper. Or at least stop your conversation long enough to acknowledge the Reaper. I'm saying this: Don't piss the Reaper off.

"Dammit, every time we try to have a nice family picture, X'rothstxx is making a funny face."

I hate when my neighbors ask me to babysit.

How Glen Beck sees Democrat families.

Has anybody seen Big Bird since he went to that heavy metal concert?

Ok, who's the wise-ass that summoned me without skin!?

This is the last time I hire Tim Burton to organize my cousin's Bar Mitzvah

And that's why I had to kill your mommy, kids. Azoghul the unborn demanded it.

the secret to the johans brothers success

Happy New Year from Marylin Manson and Family!

Hell was always awkward for Satan on Bring Your Kid to Work day

Yes, more Flavor of Love and Gene Simmons for all. The Council of Reality Television Programming has spoken!

So that's who you have to worship to get your kids a gig with Disney.

Everyone was getting nervous. It was five minutes till showtime, and Lady Gaga's makeup artist was nowhere to be found.

So THAT is what Julius Goat looks like.

How Democrats see Glenn Beck's family.

My parents didn't take very well to my coming out of the closet.

Are we SURE the Nazis didn't win...

"No no no no no! It's left-right-right-left-flay-devour-flay-devour-LEFT, not left-right-right-left-flay-devour-flay-devour-RIGHT. Fuck, I can't believe we open in two days."

Keyser Soze could talk even the Devil to death.

The Devil was kinda disapointed on his second visit to Georgia

And that's why you should never ask where Slim Jims come from.

Uh, yes... I have a question for God... Can you maybe banish this thing before it eats anyone else?

Watch KISS, the Early Years on A&E

Daddy, I don't think there will be enough demon meat for everyone

Holy Shit... I guess those kids WERE pretty damn bad this year!

The post-nuclear family.

Of course, we had forgotten batteries... so we all sat around looking at the immobile plastic demon...

"Waitress, we'd like another table!"

Little Boy: "Wait a minute. I didn't eat the salmon mousse!"

All I want for Christmas is for my LORD AND SAVIOR SATAN TO RISE UP FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL AND STRIKE DOWN MY ENEMIES!

Scoutmaster Satan and Boy Scout Troop #666

God bless us, every one.

That's a shitty looking demon. They must've half-assed the ritual sacrifice.

"Mommy, I wanted a fairy birthday party." "Yeah, it is, see? I got you these wings. Now blow out your candles and make a wish on the chocolate Satan Fairy cake!"

Nicole Ritchie looks surprisingly active today...

Our school had the MOST badass school play of all time!

Ironically, they were gathering around the campfire to read "Twilight."

If PG stands for "Parental Guidance." WTF is guiding the Parents?

It's a very Kiss Christmas

Honey, I'll miss Hellie too... but this is why we have to feed our pets every day and not forget...

The Sanderson's float reflected their utter confusion about this year's parade theme.

I COME FOR THE CHILDREN.... but I stay for the toasted marshmellows!

The Demon ate your baby!

Prince Michael & Blanket insisted he come...

"Dad, do we have to sit so close to the rednecks? They're weird."

As a Christmas present to his fans, George Lucas had Jar Jar Binks flayed alive.

The Crawford Texas Xmas celebration was a little different this year...

Satanism: bringing goths and rednecks together in the spirit of community and blood sacrifice.