Other Craptions

"Do you think my Mom will still smell the pot?"

When this thing hits 88 miles per hour, I'm going to rape you

It was only a matter of time until GM got desperate enough to make an Unholy Pact with Satan.

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

With a Carfax history report, you'll know if the previous owners had any accidents, or were using the car to summon creatures from the pitt.

No, I'm sorry hippie, you can't fuel a car on hopes, dreams and mood-lighting

When this thing hits 88 miles per hour, I'm going to rape you.

This is the last known photograph of the missing teen, if you have seen her, or this car, please dial 1-800-WHAT-THE-FUCK-DID-YOU-EXPECT? Operators are standing by.

I told you it would get re-possessed!

At least there are no furry dices.

Yes, almost complete...hey do you guys smell gas?

Pictured: how to NOT wax your car.

We're the religion of peace. Got that, motherfucker?

The new Pope mobile needs work.

Tonight we honor the memory of every pedestrain we splattered. Drink up!

"Honey, why do we have a bill for $10,000 from 'Michael's Arts and Crafts'? Honey????"

Mount up, fellow Jews! Tonight... We take down Christmas!!!!

"I think they're still going to notice your tail light's out."

The 1988 Buick BatshitCrazy Classic

The day after the legalization of pot...

Serial Killers everywhere are dialing in

"I'd like a car that celebrates every conceivable holiday, in every conceivable culture, and make it somehow GIVE EVERY FUCKING CHILD THAT IT PASSES BY, NIGHTMARES FOR LIFE!!!... do you have anything like that?"

You have pimped your hearse incorrectly.

When tree-shaped air fresheners ceased production, some people panicked.

Police call this a "Vehicle of Interest".

I said I wanted a car with incredible HANDLE.

Pimping your ride. You're doing it wrong.

It's hard being a Catholic Jew.

"Being ignorant of the basic laws of physics, Seymour was very upset when he pulled onto Route 33 and all his candles went out."

come on grandma!! why didnt you just knited a sweater?

Chrysler's new Goth-Mobile

"The cop said my brake light was out. How the fuck could he TELL?"

NO!!! You can't pay the toll in human skulls, no matter WHAT model car it is...

R.I.P Cash 4 Clunkers Program

It does 30 miles to the Lost Soul.

Mel Gibson's car after he crashed it through a menorah factory.

The getaway car that was used in the Great Pier 1 Robbery of 2009.

Christmas: The celebration of light, Kiss and Buick 88s...Just like Jesus intended...

You can't hold a candle to my car! Actually, I can hold several ...

"No thanks, missy, you are too scary for even THIS car..."

He lights these every time "Freebird" comes on the radio.

You see this kind of thing on the Highway to Hell all the time. Don't worry, it'll run out of blood soon and have to pull over...

Bell, Buick, and Candles.

Deck the Hearse with lots of candles Muahhahahahaha!!!

Pimp my Ride: Transylvania Edition

Oh, my thumb sticking out was just an accident... I don't need a ride anywhere. I like walking! Ok then... thanks anyway...

No...don't take this cab...let this one go...let this one go...

Dia De Muertos + Hannukah = AWESOMESS

Instead of transmission fluid, it takes blood. Sweet blood.