Other Craptions

David Blaine is running out of ideas.

I don't care what Schwartznegger says, this is a god damn tumor.

During orgasm, blood suddenly rushes to the head.

Am am not an Animal! I am a Human Bean!

How the Kool-Aid man was born

Erotic asphyxiation + chewing gum= disaster/comedy

condoms- you're doing it wrong!

His Spidey Senses told him that everyone was staring at his zit.

Whatever he just found out...it just BLEW HIS MIND.

In Russia.....bubblegum chews you!

Alabama's got Talent!!!!!!!!

Back off, man. I'm a scientist.

I, for one, will embrace the rule of our Red Spherical Overloards

Our first alien visitor from Planet Testicalus.

"Paging Dr. House... Paging Dr. House!"

You think that's impressive, you should see his other testicle.

When the egg sac hatches, the young parasites will find human hosts of their own, and the cycle of life will continue.

I'm so glad my mom ditched the placenta.

Harry the Hemoglobin was unfortunately born with only one red blood cell; one GIANT red blood cell, but what's worse, he has Sickle Cell...

A mime is a wonderful thing to waste.

Chernobyl Street performers are all VERY unique.

M&M's Supermodels show the 2010 line in Paris

Oh, how I'd love to see the dick that fits into THAT condom... oh, Hi Vice President Cheney!

When you want to rob a bank, cover your face with a nylon stocking instead of a balloon.

Apparently, Taylor Launtner's success has gone to his head...

The sequel to Up really flopped in theaters

The disgusting part was the fifteen minutes just prior that he spent filling it up with farts.

Bubble gum: The Silent Killer

Max Headroom

fruit of the loom casting call reject

Red Rover, Red Rover, Bring Number Six over!!!

Uh, Bill? You've got something on your face.

See what happens when you compliment some people?

Kick a guy hard enough and not only will his left nut shoot straight into his brain, but it'll explode too.

Seriously, does anyone have a Tylenol, and a syringe...

The Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade was ruined when the character of cranberry sauce tragically exploded.

Is that a ring on his finger? That won't last.

Pictured: how I feel when I try to think of a REALLY GOOD pun.

The only thing Steve hated more than crowds was red jelly beans...this just wasn't his day.

Did you see the size of that Mosquito?

From Ninety Nine Red Balloons, the musical.

ultimate dutch oven!

Frog DNA can cure cancer, but it isn't worth the side effects.

"This sure BEETS the hell out of a real job. I RED somewhere that this is the new fashion." -- "I swear Fred, if you say one more pun, I'm gonna BEAN you in the face. Oh fuck, now I'M doing it..."

Edward Cullen stood in the audience drooling at the mouth. Bella quietly tried to slip her hand into his. "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!" he yelled, "Can't you see that there is someone ELSE in my life now, BITCH!?"

That balloon has something stuck to its ass

I pray He uses his astonishing abilities for Good rather than Evil..!!

You see, THIS is the reason why married men live longer than single men; his wife WOULD have noticed that earlier and said something...

uh...uhhhh...uhhhAAAAACHHOOOOOOOO!!!!