SRLivewire
Fred stood there for 15 minutes choking on a mint before anyone noticed that he wasn't breathing
Ronin22
Dr. Manhattan was about to leave Earth for good until he saw that picture where if you cross your eyes you see little 3-D fishes. After that, he focused his energy on finding Waldo.
Ronin22
12 Smurfs were found slaughtered in the bathroom of a local art gallery today...
itoldyouso
Police spent 35 years looking for Jimmy Hoffa, until one day when an Art Museum curator asked "Does anyone know where this statue came from?"
racedogg2
"I don't know, I like this work and all, but I disagree with the artist's use of blue dye that soaks anyone who looks at it."
RogersIB
Christo decided to give Rodin's The Thinker an updated look. As with his island wrapping project, everyone asks why!
spectre_vampire
Little boy blue, come blow your horn. Your father's at an art museum, looking at porn.
BergeronProcess
This week on "To Catch a Predator" Chris Hansen discovers Patrick Stewart's underground smurf sex ring.
Blinker_Fluid
This is what happens when you piss off Willy Wonka while visiting his museum.
sgt.salt
now that he was featured in a ps3 game, he just never seemed to make time for his old NES friends
klayb
what was your name again? evil, Dr.evil... Bruce Willis invited me.. hey Howie,tell this guy to let me in!
Dilemma
So...he's blue? That's it? Big deal. BIG FUCKIN' DEAL! I'm brown and there aren't any craptions going to me!
Warren_et
Chet is wondering just how he is going to explain how he managed to get his entire body into the airline toilet without coming off as a total nutbar.
geniuswaitress
"Picasso had a blue period? DAMN, I didn't even know dudes could menstruate."
Julius_Goat
"Now, if I play it cool, nobody will know that I've been to Willy Wonka's chocolate factory on my lunch break."
angst9ine
That's most retarded smurf i have ever seen......This new movie is going to blow!!
ChaseMitchell
That's just the artist, painted up and disguised as a sculpture so he can hear what people say about his work. He calls this piece "Crippling Insecurity."
Fkelleghan
"And because of what Gary did, the blue paint factory will be closed until further notice."
racedogg2
At which point, Jackson Pollack screamed "Fish!" and the universe turned into a jelly bean.
thefooligan5
The unfortunate progeny of Violet Beauregard hatches a plan to kill Willy Wonka.
geniuswaitress
The naked chick covered in flesh-colored paint is in the other, more-crowded room.
singular1ty
3 trillion brain cells and the best he could come up with is to paint someone blue...
Julius_Goat
Barry! You fool! Stop! If you walk between two blue men, you BECOME a blue man!!
itoldyouso
It's cold in this Art Museum, but I come so see the hard nipples on the Picassos
Fkelleghan
Have you got any addictions or mental issues that could raise the value of your art?
ParentesPizza
"Great i make a blue guy statue, SOME ONE GO'S AND MAKES A BETTER ONE! AND THEN PUTS IT IN FRONT OF MINE! I QIUTE ART!"
geniuswaitress
"Picasso had a clue period? DAMN! I didn't even know dudes could menstruate."
Fkelleghan
Somebody please tell the director that film noir means you use blue lighting, not blue actors!
Blinker_Fluid
...and that's why everyone will have to bring their own dry erase markers to work from now on.
Harriz
When Steve the breathe holding competition, he retained some dignity by doing a moonwalk retreat
Fkelleghan
The upcoming remake lacks the certain indefinable something that made the original WATCHMEN great.
geniuswaitress
"Wow, Bernie. Three people came to your gallery opening --that's triple last month's exhibit!"
silenthunder26
Hey you guys did you hear someone was in that port-a-potty that tipped over outside?
Nonsense88
"Well the guy in the flower shirt was jerking off, so we put this blue man here to steal all the attention. Needless to say, this is how we'll handle these situations in the future."
tastyburp
it wasn't the erection lasting more than 4 hours that was a concern for bob ...
RogersIB
Yes, there had long been rumors of negative health effects from the use of cell phones. But no one had ever pointed out the possible side effects from using a bluetooth.
kaly76hummer
Recently, I found an age-gap site called ~~~ Agegapmingle--C O M ~~~ It's a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not problem there. You may check out or t
kaly76hummer
Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at __Agelessmatch @ c o m__a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Mayb
SuperKing7
"If we can hide the body, we won't have to pay those damned lawyers!" "But how will we hide a body in such an open and white building?!" "...Get the spray paint, I have an idea."
geewizz
Han Solo, "Frozen in Carbonite" on temporary loan to the National Gallery of Art in Washington, from a Mr. Jabba the Hutt until January 2010.
geniuswaitress
"Oops. When you invited me to your opening, I thought you meant your asshole."
headbangerbuggy
The one in back is using standard cable internet. The one up front is using all-new Verizon FiOS! Make the switch today!
andomamern
Dr. Manhattan reminisces about the days when a man could just walk around with his dick out
ElHuerta
Sometimes, the Andorians hide their antennae and mingle unnoticed among humans.
protonzel
I'm not sure I like the idea of being nude for half this movie...I should call my agent
Kamikaze Phoenix
During his visits to the museum, the guy from Blue Man Group was forced to take his primitive father, who was a very slow walker.
testpattern
I am holding my breath until grandma back there stops playing her stupid craps game!
fac51
Blue is a colour, the perception of which is evoked by light having a spectrum dominated by energy with a wavelength of roughly 440–490 nm. ... oh fuck this! alright the tin just blew up in my face.
teeps23
Remember when Ed Harris stuck his hand in that chemical toilet in The Abyss? this is what happens when you fall in
Grimmrepo
You're not going to hold your breath longer than the Mona Lisa. Okay? Calm the fuck down.
cdizzy
Cerulean Trailing Pixel Syndrome - the paranoia that you are being pursued by a blue, low resolution antithesis of yourself.
SMURFYSA
DEAR SMURFETTA I DID THIS ALL FOR YOU AND YOU RAN OFF WITH HEFTY SMURFY, WHOW AM I BLUE!
RogersIB
Sure steroids have side effects Jim had told himself, this however was not on he expected.
blayeboy
The reporter grew visibly angry as the technicians scurried to fix the bluescreen equipment.
MattBlack
"I was thinking about becoming a musician, but there's really only one style I know how to play. Reggae. Why, what did you think I was going to say?"
Julius_Goat
A history of drug abuse was not the most shocking of Andre Agassi's recent confessions. Take, for example, what he had to do to prepare for sex.
sagittarius1203
This fashion show is brought to you by the first eliminated contestant on "Project Runway"!
geniuswaitress
The Creationism Museum may be fucked up, but the Evolution Museum is pretty strange too.
LouBriccant
At least when Ted finally snapped at the office, he took his agression out in a much more healthy, albiet eccentric, fashion.
geniuswaitress
Even adults need to be careful about what they eat on the chocolate factory tour.
AltF4
"I went all out for those bastards at Blue Man Group. And I don't think Sharpie paint comes off."
SuperMGS
Man With Glasses: "Here you can see modern day Blue man. Behind, you can see their ancestor Blockus Blueus. It is not known when they broke from Homo Sapiens however..." Lady in blue jacket: "Hehe, did he say homo?"
captaincabbage
Emma told the psychologist what she was seeing in her daily routine, as her hallucinations waited paitently outside for her
Ringzo
If you can identify the pattern here, you can tell that the blue man from the future is STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU OH GOD DON'T MOVE!
get_awesome
After being fired from the Blue Man Group, Bert found less and less job opportunities, especially with his being unable to do a convincing robot dance.
sgt.salt
JOHNSON!!! do you mind telling me whhhhyyy you thought it would be a good idea to store the new shipment of company ink on my desk....supported by a rickety stack of books
HUMLY
"Hmmm...these painted-on jeans aren't attracting the ladies as much as Cosmo led me to believe."
SMURFYSA
IF YOU REALY LIKE THIS LOOK JUST DRINK A LITTLE COLLOIDAL SILVER EVERY DAY, WORKS FOR ME.
kittybot2000
You can explain the meaning of art to me until you're blue in the face... I still think it's a bunch of shitty cubes back there.
SMURFYSA
AND FOR THE FINAL BID FOR THE NIGHT THE WINNER GOES TO SMURFYSA FOR TEN MILLION SMURFBERRIES. SOLD!
Pieter
On a lark, Joe asked himself why he'd never painted himself blue. Much to his surprise, he couldn't come up with a satisfactory answer. The rest, as they say, is history.
mister.write
After robbing the bank, Adam was hit with a dye pack. He successfully hid in the art museum for three days before being caught.
ragman12
George was told not to hold his breath waiting for a decent version of Windows, but....
Johns_Thomas
In order to obtain the hottest new ideas, Apple engineers resort to method acting around the office.
bewbzy
"Reported at all major Television Networks, Executives are being plagued with a wave of Vertical Mold."
MastaBlasta
Don't mind me...It's not like I am a real WORLD-DOMINATION-SEEKING VILLAIN!!!
Flippit
The fourth last blue man in existence ponders why the other three dont appreciate the arts
LilMcGil
The conceptualization process of the Blue Man Group is now featured in a museum.
Steaderz92
Ha! Look at that nerd with the glasses, in front of the woman with the multicoloured top. Crazy.
dudaruma
After a drop in ticket sales, the Blue Man Group decided to take a more serious approach in there shows
BillWilliams
I came out of the closet. I turned to stone. Maybe the Republicans are right.
theHeadCase
Things made a turn for the worst when the Blue Man Group decided to do modern art.
slicer4ever
god's human designs from right to left: polygon man, blue man, and working man, sadly he did not stop at blue man
mjboudx
"Now where did I leave my keys..." Bruce Willis wondered as he wandered into the exploding paint building.
slvs
After a mediocre response at his third straight gallery showing, the artist blue himself.
saruman
"Hmmmmm, is the cake... a lie? Damn, they probably stare at me behind my back. My fucking color... I will hang myself tonight."
bdadz
Alright, ready for a crappy pun? Looks like somebody's art really *blue* his mind.
namesnatcher
deca-polyhedron man was tired of not being a smooth operator, a square dude, and was feeling a little blue...
freddakyn
-long after the age of man ended- My ,these humans look interesting...come brother Silly Angles,the next room shows "Bill Clinton's greatest moment"
quagmyre
My super power is holding my breath till I turn blue. I ALWAYS get what I want!
jellojames
John really wanted to find the deeper meaning of the painting. After standing in the Art Museum for over a week, the manager decided to have him spray painted.
CptKrunch
'FINE! If I give you $5 will you tell me where baggage claim is!'. Only one of the many things commonly heard at the Belgian Airport.
benfromcanada
Alfred Hitchcock after losing 60 pounds and getting covered in blue paint.
anon000
Professor X decided to astrally project himself to the opening of colossus' first art exhibition. he was glad he saved on gas.
antigravityman
After years of feeling underapriciated by his partners, Brian left the Blue Man Group in hopes of finding work as a human statue...
Charlie1224
Lex Luthor got more than he bargained for when Superman could turn him into stone.
acdc44
And so the Blue man group and their sidekick polygon were laid to rest in an art museum
imnew
Ironically Eiffel 65 was actually trying to bring awareness of an unfortunate medical condition
CaptainYork
The Blue man group's father was not amused with their on stage antics. He takes a calmer more artistic approach to life.
imnew
"I can't believe one of the artists here were lazy enough to just put up a mirror - abstract dick!"
ItalianStingray
Hitman knew that his new blue style was affecting his job, when his iddentity was compromised easily by pixel man
DonkeysRAliens
We are the alien race Bluemakoodoo... we have come to look intensely in that general direction
Nonsense88
"I'm not talented so I just poured a can of blue paint on myself and called it a painting."
DonkeysRAliens
Whilst the blue man pondered his existence, the bespectacled man behind him decided to do a moonwalk
ivanthered
The people thought the blue man was fake. The blue man thought the people were fake.
mixmaster93
Larrry, the most sophisticated member of the blue man, always regretted not following his dream of becoming an art critic.
blnksndyonfr
Blue Man Racism: All polygon blue men must stand 15 feet away from real blue men at all times
Rodimus
....And in this deleted scene from The Surrogates, Bruce's-- Wait I don't give a shit.
Joey_09876
"Hmmmmm, maybe encasing myself in plastic wasn't such a shrewd idea after all....."
cdizzy
It's like the evolution of man drawings, without the intermediate steps. And it's about video game characters.
SMURFYSA
I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO A REAL DOCTOR THAT PAPA SMURF AND HIS DISCOUNT SMURF POTIONS IS A VERY UNSMURFY OLD QUACK
SMURFYSA
I DON'T KNOW WHY I KEEP HEARING THIS SONG LA LA LALALAAL SING A HAPPY SONG LA LA LALALAAL SURFING ALL DAY LONG
RogersIB
He struggled to finish his song of angst, "Babay babay, since I can't have you, Oh..oh..oh..oh I feel so...", arrgh, he drew a blank.
thesixthcircle
it was then that he realised, that without his hat, he could not be paid to move. thus, our blue friend is in quite a pickle.
Batman?
The statue in the back isn't supposed to look the one in the front. The guy just sucked
woodeye
The decoys worked like a charm. Within seconds we had attracted our first blue man.
Pieter
Upon finding out that Linda's favorite color is blue, Joe uses this info to his advantage.
Pieter
Joe is faced with two mysteries: why he felt the need to apply blue eyeliner, and how he managed to smudge it to such a degree.
hustlebunny
classical seriously considering meeting cubism in the bathroom for a blow...
Wackbeard
Lex Luthor invents synthethic blue kryptonite...Clark Kent seen moonwalking away.
sidpotter
"Nice try Captain Moonwalk and Professor Pixel, but you will never sneak up on the Blue Man Group!"
HockeyTemper
After spending too much time on his first sculpture, artist Joseph Zavarji decides to quit early on the second and call it "Buffering".
paulg
a rejected Blu-Man Group member goes undetected while he watches Windows 7 on the new PC shown on the opposite end of the room.
SheenaLasVegas
Powder's son inherited his trait of uniform color. It's a shame his mom is Violet Beauregarde.
babysauce87
the consequence of being put in a washing machine with 50 kilos of blue m&m's
ragman12
While admiring himself in the mirror, Ed wondered if the world was ready for the blueberry look.
ragman12
Very well, if you do not let me touch your boobies, then I shall hold my breath.
pseudopold
Captain Picard, we all know you love the Blue Man Group and art galleries, but the Enterprise is under siege by the Borg!
tehfunnys
Carl a former member of blue man group had a ingenious way of avoiding his wife collecting alimony form him.
tehfunnys
Carl had a former member of blue man group had a ingenious way of avoiding his ex wife trying to collect alimony.
DarkShadow667
Why are you so blue? cheer up! there's a Low Polygon Count version of you Back there! :)
iamgine
This still does not gives him the right to sing, "I'm blue DA BA DE DA BA DI DA BA DE DA BA DI DA BA DE DA BA DI DA BA DE DA BA DI DA BA DE DA BA DI DA BA DE DA BA DI."
raging_hobo
Why doesn't anybody ever listen to Willy Wonka when he tells them to leave shit alone?
Dad
The homicidal digital test dummy was last seen deanimating his latest victim: Lex Luthor.
Paigann
Unfortunatly, this memeber of the blue man group suffers 'living Statue Syndrome'
Fairasite
"Who is HE?" "Oh, Bill? The oldest of the Blue family's sons! He's a well-known rich, well-articulated young multimillionaire who makes the family outstandingly proud." "What about that guy behind him?" "Oh, he's the guy who used to be his boss." "No
Fairasite
If you look just right, the man in the glasses is sexually assaulting that horrible floral shirt.
kaly76hummer
Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at __Agelessmatch.com__, a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Maybe
SMURFYSA
DEAR CRAPTIONS JUST TO LET YOU KNOW YOUR CRAPTIONS ARE SO SMURFY THAT NOW EVERYONE IN SMURF VILLAGE WANT O CHANGE THEIR NAME TO CRAPTION SMURF
kaly76hummer
Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at an age-gap site called __Agegapmingle.C—OM__ Age gap is not problem there. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.
Mr.Salty
A Blue Man Group casting session. They're becomeing far more lenient with there help.
niko4ever
After what seemed like an eternity, the doc has finally put some f*cking clothes on
niko4ever
I still don't get what Laurie meant when she said "It would be a miracle if you put some f*cking clothes on"
apoch003
After being fired from the Blue Man Group, Fred tried to audition as Lyle Lovetts back-up dancer.
fantastic_rich
Who voted for that utterly lame winning craption? Shame on you, and shame on your families for ALL eternity (except holidays).
jellojames
Upon falling into a boiling vat of blue wax, John was destined to be the centerpiece of an art museum.
bb2904
"hey we'll just take it for a spin, those army guys will never notice it's gone!"
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