ED_209
Thats why you always follow the "place this side up" instructions on the popcorn bag.
Fkelleghan
"And that's when we got the idea of fighting fire with fire." "What happened then?" "It burned down twice as fast."
Blinker_Fluid
Analysts couldn't figure out why Iran agreed to end it's uranium enrichment program in exchange for eight tons of Mentos and an oil tanker full of Diet Coke.
jtklove
"Awww, shit, Earl! That wasn't no deer! I just shot your momma's propane tank!"
GladAngel
When they found out it was actually Nick Cage inside the Wickerman, the cultists took extreme measures to ensure their success...
Ed_Gein
I "told" the Dr. I had a burning sensation when I pee. But, he didn't believe me till I showed him.
cptnpeacocksuit
OMG, can you see it. There's totally an image of Bin Laden's face in there. Toooo creepy.
pbarber119
we can only hope the Jonas brothers were still on stage when this firework malfunctioned
jellojames
MacGyver created this explosive with an empty soda bottle and spare bicycle parts.
Fkelleghan
With no Dark Lord left to serve, the fires of Mt. Doom started a rock band and went on tour.
Rex-Jester
Charleton Heston has the last laugh by ensuring that his dead hands are never cold.
testpattern
Although the masked sword juggling unicyclists' act was pretty good, the town was ruled by the local 675 bicycle riding teamsters.
Julius_Goat
In the Alternate-Dimension America, President McCain quickly declared a swift and merciless war on global warming.
spectre_vampire
There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom! Why wasn't there an earth-shattering kaboom?
Weaselwolf
How jaded am I that I see a mushroom cloud as one of the most boring and unextraordinary things I've seen on the net? Damn you Craptions!
NotSoFrankie
Oh shit god i regret i dont wanna live in a post-apocalyptic world with zombies... or at least send me some weapons
Julius_Goat
U.S. Civil War re-enactments are one thing, but the World War II re-enactments of the Japanese are in poor taste.
troll_alx
Having replaced all cars with enviro-friendly bicycles, the townspeople torched the oil derrick so they could never go back. In retrospect, it was a mistake.
Nonsense88
"He tried to set a new record for the longest time without masturbation. A few years later he just exploded."
F-dub16
"Hey look, it's the new penis pill. The one that backfire's as you BLOW your load"
GayNakedvampire
The 12 boys saved the world, ensuring that nobody will ever be able to rent the Wickerman ever again.
jellojames
"Oh god! They didn't wait for Kyle to get out of the blast radius!!! Got dibs on his bike.
Ozymandais
Cause sometimes you just need to ride your bike out the old Nevada Test Site and take in some fallout.
itoldyouso
To all of you who voted for my CRAPTION on Halloween, I want to say, "Thank you!" To all of you who BURNED DOWN MY FUCKING HOUSE on Halloween, I want to say, "Fuck you!"
angst9ine
"Should we be standing so close to the test area?" voice on intercom: "Yes, breath in deeply and enjoy the light show"
mabogo
...Well folks, I think we can say that we've found our winner for this year's "Fart Lighting Contest"...
jellojames
One abortion clinic down, tons more to go. Today was a good day for pro-life supporting bike riders.
Kamikaze Phoenix
People should not be afraid of their governments... they should be afraid of fiery exploding mushroom clouds.
katamariape
There's a reason it was called "The Manhattan Project" and not "The Alabama Project".
SRLivewire
When Cracked editors say, "6 Badass Tricks You Can (But Shouldn't) Do With Electricity", they aren't kidding about the "Shouldn't".
kaly76hummer
Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at __Agelessmatch.com___ a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Maybe
kaly76hummer
My friends recommended me a very interesting place __AgelessFriends.com__ It's a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not a problem there. You may wanna check it
Fr33Man1010
This is what happens when you say WTF BOOM! FYI, there are kittens down there. and you killed them.
HMS_Ford
Little Known Fact: There was a color camera covering the triumphant arrival of the Hindenburg at Lakehurst in 1937.
Zaphod
Okay, you're scarey and all that, but you're also about 25 years too late, Mr. End-of-the-world-thru-nuclear-war nightmare...
johndarick
There used to be another crowd on the other side of the field. But... yeeeaaa... about that
megaweege66
Hey man, do you wanna ride our bikes down to check out the end of the world?
Mr.Excalibur
See Julie? This is why I asked you not to break-up with Dr. Manhattan a my party.
Rex-Jester
I told the bitch get off of her damn cell phone when she was getting gas! Her mom's gonna kill me.
Wackbeard
Fallout 4 will include bikes and pieces of cardboard that will make it go brrrmmmm while you get irradiated!
SRLivewire
In the sequel to "There Will Be Blood", Daniel Plainview tries his luck with Nuclear energy.
RogersIB
We have nothing to fear but fear itself...oh and perhaps a little thermal nuclear war...but mostly..fear itself.
slushiaddict
"Dude look at that awesome mushroom cloud!" "Should we get closer?" "Totally"
xgrendelx
In my day, when a bunch of kids wanted to brawl, they brought bats and chains. Kids today are all about the nuclear technology.
Kamikaze Phoenix
I guess that's the end for us! Shit. Too bad I never did anything worthwhile. Maybe I still have time to take a couple of college classes?
ChaseMitchell
"I think we're far enough away that we'll be fine. Hey can you hand me that cooler? It's right by your tail OH MY GOD"
HMS_Ford
Insecticide maker Black Flag introduces its new product: Roach Motel; the Final Solution.
jbirchfield1
Michael Bay directs the second installment of anaconda. "If 8,000 gallons of gasoline wont kills these bitches notihng will"
Smithereen
After reading through the entire Health Care Reform Bill, Fred's head eventually exploded.
katamariape
What people with OCC think will happen if they don't go make sure they turned the oven off.
saruman
Due to global warming France has presented the first environemt-friendly nuke. It has a smaller mushroom size but the device is completely recycable.
Truthiness
Mythbusters finally attempts to see what happens when you mix Diet Coke and Pop Rocks.
RogersIB
Spontaneous combustion had finally caught up to Rush Limbaugh's spontaneous stupidity.
kylekgrimm
Has anyone noticed how many of the Craption pictures come from Bunring Man? (Burner shout-out)
OvaltinePatrol
Things always go downhill after someone says "Want to see something cool? Hold my beer..."
Kamikaze Phoenix
I look out the window every damn morning, only to be disappointed. Now you taunt me with a pretend apocalypse picture? Fuck you. I'm definitely "going fifth horseman" on you when the time comes. Yep.
Blinker_Fluid
I never thought North Korea would be able to pull it off. I guess I owe you a Coke.
aladdin
The knife joggler tried his hand at fire torches. It didn't went too well, I'd guess...
Versus
Overheard 10 minutes ago: "I guess that area with all the tape around it was the V.I.P. section. I can't believe no one else parked there."
savinator
I could have SWORN I saw a blindfolded, knife-juggling unicyclist ride up to Little Boy right before the blast.
noreport
Yankees really like to rub it in eh...I mean, did they really need to nuke Philedelphia?
GladAngel
The moment the internet heard Uwe Bowl was making Metal Gear Solid: The Movie.
Beastg8
Harry Truman would be turning i his grave right now with the boner you just gave him
Gypsymagic
And, when Ronald Spinkelmann, the man with the worst case of gonorrhea in human history, peed on an electric fence, tragedy ensued.
cdizzy
She said she wouldn't go out with me if I was the last guy on earth, but we'll see.
paranoid_robot
These 'shrooms are really strong. I could've sworn I just saw a HUGE explosion. It was even shaped like a 'shroom!
Salisbury_Brian
They new running the Tour de France right by the Large Hadron Collider was a bad idea...
yomaster
"You just activated a nuclear bomb my friend"......."Why the fuck did you do that?
Reaper484
"Hey guys, thats really cool to look a- OH MY GOD MY EYES WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING!?"
Chaos624
I don't know what to say, but high school pranks just weren't the same after that
oshytashy
What did I eat today? Well, leftover chili for breakfast, curry for lunch, and a burrito for dinner. why do you ask?
SMURFYSA
dick, masturbateboobs,farts,ejaculation,fucking,Now I have learned to win the current winning craption and it only took me two weeks.,Man this is really going to pay off big.
somfas
COMMAND_C:>RUN_RANDOM_CRAPTION_MAKER_PROGRAM_ROUTE> “That looks like got hit by on fire”
getittwistd
OK, moment of truth folks! Do we call it a broccoli cloud? Cauliflower cloud? Anyone got any ideas?
Indigo_Dingo
Marvel comics fans, seconds before being atomised trying to acquire superpowers.
surrealfishgod
Dude, this is not what I meant when I said I wanted you to take me to some "bomb ass shrooms"
Kamikaze Phoenix
Being unable to understand what a "doomsday device" was, the remaining humans managed to wipe themselves out within about two weeks.
Signe
"So did you remember to lock up the firecracker factory?" - "The what?... Ehm... Yeah"
Blinker_Fluid
Everyone laughed at me for doing duck and cover drills. Well who's laughing now?
slushiaddict
"Does anyone have some newspaper so i can start this bonfire?" "No but i have some C-4" "Sure that should work"
sleazyE
As part of his community service, Michael Vick had to kill people. Lots and lots of people.
Chegow
Even though Ted won the bet that he could light his fart on fire, he sadly did not make it.
wizzPOPPA
Max Fightmaster was never born, he forged in Gods furnace with the ultimate combination of sex and steel
Rcoutme
The concept of a limited, winnable nuclear war was conclusively disproven when...
Godzola
Meh, its only a giant inferno of the town oil derrick. Heroes is on; I'll watch that honey.
Mondoape
Hey guys don't you think setting fire to the oil well to protest fossil fuel use is counterproductive?
wizzPOPPA
myth: theres a blue and a red wire and cutting one will disarm a bomb truth: they both make it explode
gypsy61
Remember when cousin Larry said he could make fusion at room temperature with moonshine and a dozen atomic wings? Well, I'm nominating what's left of him for the Noble Prize
Copperpot
Diet Coke, Mentos, and Nitro Glycerine bombs ... it's the web's newest viral video.
Mr.Excalibur
Concerned about their carbon footprint, the Russians cycle to their undisclosed location to test their nuclear weapons.
gypsy61
When the war finally ended, Anonymous gathered to put a final end to the works of L Ron Hubbard
RogersIB
Sadly, the truth is stranger than what anyone could make up. No one told our soldiers that the A-Bomb testing would make them sick.
Zenejinzorin
"Maybe when the war is faught on American soil, people will start caring!"....nope...still pretty much not caring.
Kamikaze Phoenix
You don't know how to start no fire! Move over! Now THAT'S a fire! That's a fire!
aladdin
Al-Qaeda's Manual: If throwing a shoe in a press conference doesn't work, try this next.
Sytry72
People really need clearly to label the red buttons, Which one causes nuclear holocaust and which one orders burritos? Fourth time this year
momoy
I think using the ENTIRE tanker truck of gasoline is way too much for the bonfire, Bill.
momoy
This happens when you have Chernobyl technicians in charge of the 4th of July fireworks.
tubbyninja
it may be an important milestone, but octogenarians just shouldn't be allowed birthday candles.
Somalians
"THAT'S WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN YOU PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD, TIMMY!" "I'M SORRY DADDY! I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN!"
Julius_Goat
"Oh man, that party was off the HOOK, son!" "Did you get bombed?" "Totally."
SMURFYSA
Whow look what happens when all you stoners use your lighters at one time, say dude do you have any marshmellows.
1.21jigawatt
"Sniff,sniff, that exactly how my Grandpa died." "In a big f*ckin blast?" "No. He crashed riding his bicycle."
Mr.Excalibur
Someone, somewhere, is currently pleasuring themselves to this picture. (Hint: It's Kim Jong Il!)
Wackbeard
Obama O-bombs Bin Laden, turns out he was hiding where Cheneys heart is supposed to have been. OH NOZ SATIRE!
Wackbeard
Hey guys i have a solution for the Twillight-craze....a final solution! ...what? Lets see you sparkle now dipshit!
captaincabbage
David knew this was not the way to go getting rid of the cockroaches in his caravan, but he simply saw no other option.
Obscene_Shadow
"When I said I wanted some shrooms, Dave, I didn't mean the kind created by nuclear explosions"
GladAngel
Bruce: Betty! There is a kid out there! Betty: Oh God... Bruce: I have to save him! Betty: But the Gamma radiation will...
jellojames
"Are you sure this is safe?" "It's safer than fucking your mom" "... Eat a dick."
SMURFYSA
THIS WAS THE MOST GRAND CREMATION THEY EVER HAD IN INDIA. WHEN THE MAHARAJA DIED HE TOOK HIS WHOLE FAMILY AND A FEW FRIENDS WITH HIM. WE WILL MISS THEM
jellojames
Truman: "Scale this up by a few thousand, and Japan will be a cinch" -National Archives
jellojames
"Man, this plan went up in flames!" "Paul, I swear to fu**ing god! No more puns!"
anies
At the end of every Fish tour, fans gather to burn what's left of their parents' money.
anies
At the end of every Fish tour the fans get together and burn what is left of their parents money.
RogersIB
Martin Luther King brought the brothers to equality, Barack Hussein Obama brought the brothers to nuclear superiority.
SlipperyNoodle
Sadly, that would be the last time Mike ever attempted the coveted "BM-Xplosion" in front of all of his friends...
toyotaobsession
This is what the Female Orgasm looks like. Also why you should never give a woman an Orgasm.
CptKrunch
"Hey Bill." "What?" "That cloud looks like it's fucking the ground" "Huhuh, yeah, the Earth is fucking gay"
HMS_Ford
Fig. 1: Things that seem hotter than a urinary infection but in reality aren't.
iamgine
I see trees are green. Red Roses too. I see them BOOM! For me and you. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
SMURFYSA
This is a picture of me burning up my computer because yesterday day when I said please help me I can't stop writing craptions, no one even cared so I had to take matters in my own hands, and even after all this it didn't even help. please write to m
Ledouche
It was not until Billy lost all his hair when he realized he should have wore a radiation suit that night.
getittwistd
You know what, I think you were right. I think there WAS something in the manual about radiation suits!
bdadz
And from that day on, little Kim Jong-Il knew what he was going to do with his life.
gypsy61
16 chipolte burritos $135 1 match $.01 Proving to your friends that you can destroy their house anytime you want... priceless
Indigo_Dingo
Tired of putting up with their pretentious bulls*t, the Governemtn just decided to nuke the cyclists
Mr.Excalibur
Protip: When Target Shooting on propane tanks, make sure to be at least 200 yards away.
dungeonmaster11
When environmental kooks take lessons from Stephen Seagal, shit gets fucking REAL.
jedthehumanoid
"Fucking BMX hoodlums always burning down my giant, wooden man sculptures!"
Kamikaze Phoenix
That's why you NEVER EVER EVER smoke a cigarette while the meth tank is bubbling!!!
johndarick
The only way this could be funny is if there were a group of german midgets, on stillts, on unicycles, juggling swords beside a chalk outline.
1.21jigawatt
COMCAST HQ: please excuse the short-term tax increase being applied to all Triple-play customers...
Mr.Excalibur
This is what I expected to happen when I lost my virginity. I was very disappointed. (And so was she.)
Lerxst62
When Jerry Lee Lewis wasn't banging underage cousins, he could find inspiration in anything.
RogersIB
Oil's well that ends well. The oil workers made the best of the rig fire and had a wiener roast.
1.21jigawatt
"Who ordered the Flaming Orgasm? " ME! Me! Over-here, that's mine! Me. Its Mine! ME-Me-me! Mine.
LegitimateJoe
And the Lord Sharteth, Bringing the tweens of the kingdom to come and worship his might.
Watchtower
This is what happens when a man-child like Kim Jong Il gets to hold the "Blow up everyone's shit" button.
Creative9
See Matthew...I told you that it isnt smart idea to tell them to look for easter eggs from old military base.
RogersIB
What bliss will fill the ransomed souls, When they in glory dwell, To see the sinner as he rolls, In quenchless flames of hell.
Rhymenstein
Duuuuude... When you said "Let's do some shrewms!" I really wasn't picturing this!!
jellojames
Gather round, boys and girls. Today we tell the tale of two lovers, Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and how they met this pair met their untimely demise.
Fayler
The Tour de France goes horribly wrong after Lance Armstrong's final nut explodes.
jellojames
(EDIT, BAD GRAMMAR) Gather round, boys and girls. Today we tell the tale of two lovers, Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and how this pair met their untimely demise.
noreport
I wish they could do those tests where the environment would not be affected...somewhere like downtown San Fransisco...
KelliebaJellie
This wasn't what I pictured when you said we were going to do mushrooms tonight.
setracani2
Beans, Beans, The magical fruit,the more ya eat the more ya poot...the more ya poot the better ya feel, let's have beans for every meal!
Sput-Nik
The American military, having cut it's funding to the extent it's officials were forced to ride bicycles, woke up one day, said "Awww... fuck it" and pressed the big red button
PacoDamorte
Hollywoods line of diasaster movies were getting more and more ridiculous here is a screen cap of the movie "BONFIRE NIGHT"
sherkin735
"there are 4 bicycles left in beijing, thats a fact, the americans nuked them to the ground"
kaly76hummer
Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at __Agelessmatch @ c o m__a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Mayb
Silva_Fan
"[translated from Japanese] Dammit, not again! WW2 is over, we surrendered already!"
CJMILLZ94
Chemist Teacher: Well class we have 30 seconds so if you would like to know your grade simply hit that red button. BILLY NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Later: Why doesn't he change the color of the button
l3illythek1d
"So what you're saying is that this ISN'T water?" "No, I'm saying that you're retarded."
rabiessquirrel
The bean convention crowd laughed for the last time as Johnny put the match to his butt.
SMURFYSA
When I told my shrink that I had got 4 votes on my craptions he went on line and saw it for himself-so he has canceled my admission to the psych. hospital and also admitted I was not as delusional and he thought (he did not see the the picture of
SMURFYSA
part 2--the big fire I started see above-well now I know there is a limited amount of witty repartee one can use here. live and burn. I mean learn
SMURFYSA
Just to report the out of control brush fires here in calif. are still burning.
SMURFYSA
(Last one I promise) when we pass the Olympic touch in calif. all kinds of shit happens.
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