ChaseMitchell
"Hey Frank, I think I dropped the third one. Can you toss it back up here? ...Frank?"
Versus
Hey Cracked, I get that it's Street Worker week, so I have to beg you not to put up a picture of my mom tomorrow.
Mr.Excalibur
Joe the Executioner knew how to put on a show before beheading the condemned.
metsfan
Nothing Steve did could compensate for the fact that he was a liar and his pants were on fire
mabogo
With that mask on, he doesn't even realize that the audience left like 10 minutes ago......
Rex-Jester
The most impressive part of this picture is the giant egg beater that he's riding.
Versus
Hey kids, thinking of trying drugs? Why not just juggle knives blindfolded on a unicycle?
RogersIB
Quite frankly, he wore the mask not for effect, but because he did not like to see the carnage he caused.
nimo
You know how they say you shouldn't wake sleepwalkers. Well, this goes double for waking Bill.
Somalians
Nobody had it in them to tell Frank that he had been performing to a brick wall for the past 17 years.
Xanderman
he's wearing a mask because his face is so F***ed up from failed practice sessions.
Mr.Excalibur
Some terrorist beheading videos are more entertaining than they are traumatizing.
JamesBarlow
Wearing flame pants while blindfold unicycle juggling in front of the garage door of a busy fire department. Kids, do not do this at home.
Dover
Jake died doing what he loved, a mum. As for this guy, well he's just another street peformer. Whatever.
Julius_Goat
Ironically, in high school he was voted "Least Likely to Die In A Machette/Unicycle Catastrophe."
geewizz
The Elephant Man's son, Elephant Boy, wasted no time learning tricks and skills that made himself useful for the Circus Freak Show; unlike his famous father, who just moped around complaining about how badly people were treating him.
Mr.Excalibur
Oh for the love of Allah, Aziz! Stop showing off and kill the hostage already!
Crackedhead1
1 giant unicycle $120, 2 sharp juggling knives $60, Black hood for face $20, The chalk outline from yesterday's craption...priceless
jtklove
He's not a professional. He just has a huge crush on a nurse in the emergency room.
Rex-Jester
For what you could spend on a set of ginsus, this guy will come to your house and make a salad.
dtont
I don't know what's braver: juggling swords blindfolded while unicycling OR wearing those shorts
ChaseMitchell
"If I do this outside of the all-girls school long enough, I'm bound to impress someone," he said as the cops closed in.
Wrecked
Despite the executioner's hood, flying knives, and rickety unicycle, the most frightening part of this picture is the hideous pair of faded flame shorts.
phoenix22089
Inspired by Cracked.com's "6 Badass Trick You Can (But Shouldn't) Do With Electricity, Fred decided to be the inspiration for a new article: "Things You Shouldn't (EVER) Attempt While Riding a Unicycle".
LastChance
When Batman retired, Scarecrow had a hard time finding work, turning to exploting peoples combined fears of unicycles, knives,and uncomfortably tight pants.
jtklove
You can juggle knives while blindfolded, but pink shorts and a unicycle will always ruin the machismo.
bdadz
You know what says he's dangerous? It's not the knife juggling. It's not that he's riding a unicycle. It's the flame pants. Baaaadaaaasss!
Gatt
In case the ultra tall unicycle blind-folded sword juggling wasn't 'extreme' enough, the flame shorts will fill the gap.
Zenejinzorin
Due to having a bag over his head, Jim was only charged with "accidental" homicide.
Julius_Goat
There is a moment before comedy and tragedy meet and become one sad, hilarious entity. This is that moment.
HJPotta
Not pictured: A man not juggling dangerous objects while blindfolded on a unicycle
Unsaturated15
Don't let the perspective fool you- the flying knife is actually being thrown AT him.
Backinblack
When I was a child, I asked my parents for a unicycle for Christmas. It's times like these that I'm glad that they didn't get me everything I wanted!
massimagrayshun
The Hooded Clown's superhero motto: Its better to cause a lot of accidents than fight a lot of crime
GaseousClay
Sadly, he couldn't juggle family life with a nine to five, which is why he's a street performer.
Julius_Goat
Extreme cooking shows are getting ridiculous. I mean, knife juggling is fine, but an egg beater that you ride?
SRLivewire
"Hey sir! Watch out for the banana... peel... ooowwch... woah. Does anybody have a mop... and a tourniquet?"
Versus
If they bring the death penalty to Vegas, this is what the executioner will look like.
jedthehumanoid
He's going to feel stupid when he takes off the mask and sees that no one was watching
Dover
This is all part of The Jokers plan, wait according to his minute timing, any second now the performer will drop the sword, just as Batman drives under him, the sword will hit the Batmobiles engine, Batman will eject, get hit by an unladen swollow fl
Somalians
Bystanders would always ask, "Where's the third knife?" To which Jerry would reply, "In my pants." Sooner or later it was bound to get him laid.
Jeppa
Despite the large knives and flaming shorts, Roosevelt's great-grandson was a whole lot lamer.
Kamikaze Phoenix
People say we are cruel. Is it cruel to offer a man one last chance at freedom... assuming of course he wins the prison talent show? Is it?
RogersIB
Dexter was intrigued by how the juggler executed his victims in front of everyone.
ysso12
Obviously this is the Mongolian punishment for lying, for his pants are clearly on fire.
Desmothenes
Holy crap does this site get slow as 100 nerds refresh over and over waiting for the new craption.
ratchet1215
Don't worry, it's just a clever illusion; no one would wear shorts THAT gay.
imjustthatcool
Oh thank God, at least dad decided to wear the mask this time. Now i won't get beat up at school tomorrow
ThirstMutilator
For some reason Disney left this out of the Prince of Persia movie trailer.
itoldyouso
Toward the end of the Spanish Inquisition, they just made a spectacle of it all and started charging admission.
mjboudx
"It's a ninja-unicycling-saber juggler!!" "Is he wearing shorts with flames on them?" "YA!!" "Mother of God."
egroji
A week later there was a funeral. All of Ireland was in attendance. Including, John Jameson.
JCarlton
"I hope everyone is impressed as I ride my unicycle with a bag over my head while holding ONE knife!"
guythreepwood
Jeez, if this guy is THAT desperate for attention just put him in craptions, that'll take him down a peg or two...
Thyferra2680
The Executioner in the French Quarter likes making things just a bit more challenging for himself.
1.21jigawatt
that's the only way I'd watch TRON 2010. Hood covered eyes, wheedling knives near my head, with a steel rod rammed in my ass. Just as the Tron writers should've done. WTF Tron, really - Tron. f*ck.
Cradlejack
Joe was unable to make up for his lame "hot pants" line to the girls earlier.
joker1369
Achmed's One Man Play about the Torture at Abu Ghraib was tragically funny because of his pants.
SRLivewire
New Extreme Triathlon Event for the 2012 Olympics: Juggling, Surfing, and Mind-Reading.
87gn
Between the biped on a unicycle, wearing shorts & a hoodie and playing with knives, I just can't come up with anything funny...so "In Soviet Russia, gay unicycle rides you!"
RogersIB
He used to do this with flaming spears, but ever since he lit his face on fire....well, what could go wrong now.
Blinker_Fluid
He didn't realize that the cheering was getting louder because he was approaching a low bridge.
JewDude
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to show you the greatest kitchen appliance ever made... All your onions chopped to perfection without shedding a single tear.
hammahamma
4 six packs: $40, Unicycle: $30, Knife Set:$120, Having a camera at the best part: priceless
papajon0s1
"The Masked Juggler - Secrets Revealed" just didn't have the same impact on Fox's ratings.
xsamxdravenx
Like Gewn Stefani, Juggly thought that going solo out of his circus would actually win him more fans
GladAngel
Rorschach's Journal, 1987. Lost a bet to Manhattan. I wish he had just vaporized me instead...
RogersIB
He wasn't afraid of the knives or falling from up high, but he was deathly afraid of germs.
BlackWaltz
Then I pulled the unicycle out from under him and yelled, "Hey Daryl, How's it hanging!"
reverendbayn
Mystery Chef performs atop a giant egg beater whilst preparing omelettes for the entire Cirque de Soleil.
Lerxst62
" I don't know how to describe it Doc, other than a burning sensation any time I shove a bike seat up my ass".
DustinMD
Say what you want but while everyone is writing craptions this guy is making money.
aceventura
those are some cool looking shorts, the Guy Fiori collection at k-mart has really stepped up their game
Backinblack
The only way this could be better would be if his pants were actually on fire, and he was bleeding, and he fell off the unicycle, and there were naked chicks, and there was lots and lots of beer, and some fireworks, and some midget Shriners, and an e
Truthiness
Remember kids: It's never funny if someone gets decapitated and Sergio here learned a very important lesson.
NightOwl26335
Someone's putting a helluvalotta confidence in that new health care bill passing.
jmxcomp
This is actually much cooler than it looks. He is on a tightrope suspended above Glenn Beck in a flaming pool of gasoline.
Dbooner13
I can only imagine that if this picture had sound, the alarm behind him would be going off.
Dover
"This must be the unicycle chick they were talking about earlier! Wow, she's almost learned to shave!"
jedthehumanoid
Even if you're blindfolded and tossing around machetes, you still look gay on a unicycle.
paranoid_robot
It's a sword juggler on a unicycle. You don't need to know anything else. That's enough awesomeness for one day.
spydrmunkie
not to be out done by the germans on their stilts, we give you kiwi on a unicycle.
Diasdiem
Many run away to join the circus. But they find out that this is what awaits you if you try to leave.
midnightwest
Playing love songs on the radio outside her window wasn't working, so Bob decided to up the anti...
Bill-rob
Al Qaeda responded to the criticisms that their execution videos lacked that certain something.
Rumplemeyer
Well, that's very impressive young man....However, when we stated that we were looking to hire someone who could multi-task, we meant that.......
TfR
In an attempt to prop up sagging ratings, Iron Chef America will introduce another layer of difficulty for the challenger chefs.
ragman12
Just before his execution, Saddam tried to show everybody that he was really a cool guy, but to no avail.
Wackbeard
You think thats dangerous.. another dude is balancing this guy on his forehead.
HMS_Ford
During the Middle Ages, prospective executioners had to pass a stringent aptitude test.
HMS_Ford
Some of the proficiency tests that the Mercury astronauts had to pass were thankfully dropped from the Gemini project.
FollowStetson
catCH don’s Act on Starving jugglErs ManIa on The CHancE chaLLenge Show. yoU’ll see haCKS a plenty!
klayb
The new Halloween 4 movie looks great,(cuz nothing scares the the living shit out of people that a guy in boxers juggling knifes)
SMURFYSA
CRACKED.COM TOLD ME NOT TO SAY THAT THIS PICTURE WAS PHOTOSHOPPED, SO YOU DIDN'T HEAR THIS FROM ME GIRL.
kaly76hummer
Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at __Agelessmatch.com__a nice and free place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Maybe yo
kaly76hummer
Recently, I found an age-gap site called __ A g e l e s s m a t c h @ com__ It's a nice place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Age gap is not problem there. You may check out or tell
UrbanSpaceman
Fritz tried, with ball-breaking desperation, to convince the world that Germans really do have a sinse of humour.
IcemanLeigh
Now I'm no expert, but I'm sure I could steal his hat full of money before he would notice..
andysjunkyard
Everyone knew that Stimpy's unicycle was really all about compensating for his tiny scimitars.
Dover
In a futile attempt to fit in George went to last resort... He agreed to beat up the unicycle guy.
chapdaddy
Under the New Obama Health care plan this is how all new borns will get circumsized.
1.21jigawatt
PERSPECTIVE: Everything seems higher when dwarfs take pictures. This guy is really just 1.5 feet above ground. Yet, I still would've knocked him over.
jellojames
If you vote for me, the mental images of your naked grandmother will disappear.
rollypolly
This guy aint nothing special. They have bears in Russia that do it with flaming katanas
meque
Dudley was cooking when he accidentally fell from the window and landed on a fucking unicycle. True story.
GladAngel
The Terrorists, becoming bored of their usual beheading shenanigans, turned toward a more whimsical means to torture pesky infidels (contractors).
captaincabbage
Nick felt relieved that he could focus of balancing on his unicycle, sine dave told him he was juggling bowling pins this time around. Dave was so trustworthy
frohsusi
Due to the economic downturn, Dave the Executioner had to work two jobs to pay rent.
GeneralAwesome
This guy was the chalk outline from yesterday. That'll teach him to unicycle on stilt turf
James-K
He dedicated every moment of his life to become the best of the best, and his most notable achievement to date is this god damn craption contest.
ajn127
"Damn," said every American watching CNN, "Those fuckin' terroristic threats are getting lamer and lamer."
cumsies
the hardest part about uni-cycling while juggling knives blind folded is telling your parents your gay HOT CUM!!!!!!!!
NostalAgia
In a daring move, the Hooded Flame lands a sharp karate-punch to the shoulder of Invisible Man at the 2009 finals of Unicycle-knife-duels.
nappyd
Someone should have kept reading holy book; you only get 1 virgin if you die this way.
nappyd
Someone should have kept reading his holy book; you only get 1 virgin if you die this way
sketchasaurus
Under the Obama administration, torture techniques at Abu Ghraib Prison have become more "family friendly".
SMURFYSA
IF I TOLD HIM ONCE I TOLD HIM A HUNDRED TIMES, WITH THOSE SHORTS AND THAT BIKE YOU DON'T NEED THE KNIVES
simmq
normal-sized unicycle juggling 3 or more or less than 2 knives vision socks wearing normal shorts FAIL
rgentry
As a form of hazing, the senior blinded machete juggling unicyclists make the freshman spend an hour in public with those shorts on.
gillchris85
"Perhaps water boarding wasn't so bad after all" says President Obama after new pictures from Guantanamo Bay surface on the internet.
TotallyRad
Scimitars? Unicycles? Face hoods? Forget that, check out his blazin' hot pants!
Gladimhir_putin
am I too high or is that brick wall staring at me through an eye just to the right of those preposterous shorts...
Munsi
i got a feeling... that this knife's goinna be a good knife, that this knife's gonna be a good knife, that this knife's gonna be a good good knife...
CKFrosty
Vlad the Impaler experimented many times. Earlier attempts at torture were effective, but rather silly.
addy94
juggler by day, executioner by night, and a combination of the two by copious amounts of beer.
lorenzo61
When Chuck Norris tells you to juggle knifes while riding a unicycle blind-folded... You fuckin do it!
kittybot2000
This is probably what I will be doing if plans with medical school fall through.
cnfree
Wow - much more terrorist aggression like this and Homeland Security will put us at Code Beige.
mrpeabody
Now do you see the problem with universal health care? We all have to pay for this lunatic!
bdadz
I guess terrorists are getting lazy and are having their captives kill themselves now.
buckethead79
The crowd seized its chance to leave the scene to avoid paying for the show.
1.21jigawatt
Hey man nice shot. The sword in center is not being tossed upwards, it was whipped at him from across the street... by me.
andysjunkyard
The Eunuch-cyclist decided to make his comeback with only two scimitars this time.
1.21jigawatt
Nothing funny to see here, keep it moving. Nothing funny to see - move it...
imnew
"No no stop clapping and help me! This isn't apart of the trick the wind blew my scarf up!"
GladAngel
In Dexter's later years, his normal means of satisfying the "Dark Passenger" just wasn't enough. He had to think outside the box...
GladAngel
Despite his parents woeful concern, this faithful trapeze act would forever cement Dick Grayson into the annals of Gotham's history...
chkn
See honey, this is why you SHOULDN'T go to mexico for that plastic surgery you wanted.
Hitchings12
Lets hope Flap Birdo, International Superstar of Failure can do this better that a jumping jack!!!
Nonsense88
Firepant-Jack's hanging went awry when he managed to kill all the guards and escape the whole prison with style.
touchmybody
...And when the ring or power made it's way back to Saddam's hands, he set out to wreak vengeance upon his enemies...
Wackbeard
Cracked.com presents: Giants Week! followed by Bears week and then FUCKING dolphin week.
Wackbeard
After the US bombed the bomb....Russia quickly decided that they needed to stab it.
Kahsel
Ever since the internet, modern day beheadings have to be so much more entertaining to keep people's interests.
sarahbella
Jim took his wife's comment "nobody wants to see you doing that clowning around shit" literally
HMS_Ford
One of Nostradamus's predictions for the coming of the Apocalypse has come true.
DtoXiCaVeNgEr
It's one thing to juggle big knives while blind folded, doing it with a pogo stick in your ass takes it to a whole new level
sprayette
Minutes before a group of german men with sticks posed next to a mysterious chalk outline.
pinball_wizard
Most countries train soldiers to use tanks and rifles, Russia's new military program trains them to use unicycles and throwing knifes.
Shananigans79
Would you like to play a game...? To get this pole out of your ass, I want you to juggle swords with a bag on your head...
Shananigans79
The new sex change operation... cut your own cock off with a sword, then we push your balls inside with a bikeseat...
steeltesseract
dont forget somewhere someone is touching themself while looking at this.......you could be dating/married to them.
skittlepie345
Ancient Scandinavian Olympics was a bit different than the one we hold now...
SMURFYSA
THE CAPTIONS ARE SO FRIGHTENING THEY WILL LEAD ME TO AN EARLY DEATH -AND HIM TOO.
testpattern
Test Pattern used ever means possible to get to the computer and enter his craption first.
RikzRauzin
Haha! The knife-juggling unicycle team shall rule as the colorful stilt team hangs around at that chalk outline!
FranCHESTca
Do not ask where 3rd knife is. This is a freaking picture man. You are never ever ever going to find out. You just had to be their man. (smokes joint) You just had to be there.
patjk73
Who else can do battle with stilt walking little people? (sadly the chalk outline was his though)
sketchasaurus
David Blane practicing for his newest TV special. Are you ready for 36 straight hours of blindfolded unicycle sword juggling? Prepare to be amazed.
failatlife
This is nothing. He used to do this with chainsaws until they sawed off his balls in a freak accident.
cheesefaceafter
Oh man this routine is definately not as funny without the elephant on his back...
Batman?
"Um... Isn't this just a little dangerous?" "No, this is my greatest idea ever. In no way could this possibly go wrong." They all died in a big flaming ball of irony
kcs316
You wacky Deutschlanders!! Ramming a black plastic probe up your asses and calling it a seat! HAHAHA
teeps23
Doctors have finally realized the only way to fairly distribute HINI vaccines--insane competitions involving useless talent.
aladdin
I know he doesn't look so impressive, but just to put things in perspective here -- this guy was doing about the same thing few seconds before on a wire 20m above.
jbirchfield1
Last year Bill tried the same routine without the seat. The mask is to hide his smile.
The_Killah29
The plan was so perfect that he couldn't go with out killing his ex, no one wouldn't believe him.
Semyaza
Not content with just seven deadly sins, Dante's Inferno will introduce another: Dumbassery.
cutigers88
I'm less worried about the swords than I am his balls... they must be screaming in protest.
Chromatic_chic
And today, Cirque de Soleil unveils the world's first outdoor Japanese steak house.
thesixthcircle
Moments later, France decided that, you know, swords do cut through necks pretty well.
Mr.MaJew
This Thanksgiving I'm going to be thinkful I'm not dumb enough to have ever tried anything relatively close to this dangerous (including wearing the flaming shorts)
Gladimhir_putin
I'm really stoned, but I'm pretty sure that building is staring at me right through its eye right beside that Gitmo "enemy combatant"'s left thigh
cooperjack
His underwear rode SO far up his ass. Oh also he suffered permanent damage to his face and severe knife wounds, but damn was the wedgie legendary.
BillyBob77
After they found out they were getting shut down the guards at Guantanamo just stopped caring.
NotoriousLynx
"I don't care if you are on vacation, we need someone to off this guy's head"
SMURFYSA
He knew what he was doing was very dangerous but he just couldn't give up show biz.
PacoDamorte
show off-Phrasel verb To display or behave in an ostentatious or conspicuous way.
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
bilbo1 
Nov 20th, 2009 
Nov 19th, 2009 
Nov 18th, 2009 
Nov 17th, 2009 
Nov 16th, 2009 
Nov 15th, 2009 
Nov 14th, 2009 
Nov 13th, 2009 
Nov 12th, 2009 
Nov 11th, 2009 
Nov 10th, 2009 
Nov 9th, 2009 
Nov 8th, 2009 
Nov 7th, 2009 
Nov 6th, 2009 
Nov 5th, 2009 
Nov 4th, 2009 
Nov 3rd, 2009 
Nov 2nd, 2009 
Oct 31st, 2009 
Oct 30th, 2009 
Oct 29th, 2009 
Oct 28th, 2009 
Oct 27th, 2009 
Oct 26th, 2009 
Oct 25th, 2009 
Oct 24th, 2009 
Oct 23rd, 2009 
Oct 22nd, 2009 
Oct 21st, 2009 
Oct 20th, 2009 
Ometeotl 
Ed_Gein 
CavalierX 
Velvet-Crow 
Fkelleghan 
emes714 
spud 
slickjamesjik 
Chug 
lumberjef 
Mothra24 
bcanders 
bubblebrain 
tsiegle 
Godzola 
holyschnell 
smoochy 
getittwistd 
natebooze 
Bosephus5000 
grumnut1 
Joebob034 
leneshull 
superjaded 
jamesjingxi 
ED_209 
steeze_bucket 
jekelish 
InfoNinja 
Doctor 
callmekool 
mr_diggle 
BillWilliams 
samanthajones 
ecalcott 
Qarano 
Blitish 
cptnpeacocksuit 
JolleMan 
chili_dog 
Mainevent41 
dogman 
Specialpants 
dajzi 
thkunkel 
DrunkTank3000 
JoftheEast 
serazac25 
OttoGaines 
nclayn 
spohlso 
momoy 
SBTL 
Freelancer 
willenium5 
The_Kaiser 
bdubs313 
angrystring 
shaf 
Limee64 
Gypsymagic 
Johns_Thomas 
OvaltinePatrol 
ClubHeaven 
Copperpot 
AlucardJones 
AHighTechAmish 
Ironlightsaber 
Chemicals 
somedayrome 
Chrysoprase 
fuckd_i_do 
gypsy61 
Medvedev 
Minerva_Shavoux 
smill0313 
jvg988 
DMMC 
hairwaytosteven 
ParentesPizza 
cdizzy 
Skorne 
Disgruntled 
jaykay-l-oh-l 
dezavala 
Zaphod 
sexcells970 
GGWD 
tubbyninja 
SirID25 
uknowurright9 
blindthrall 
TalkToPizza 
Frankbslts 
Nieci675 
lighter 
Cap 
shadowsoul27 
Necrolove 
gnoblar 
Csonny 
msinwash 
PCHISHOLM1 
montywade 
keeghan 
MCRrox 
docgonzo2009 
TheComedian 
Rengoku 
asano_man 
siamesesin 
jasper_miner 
Roma87 
sugar-pickle 
Tanktrax 
BenjaminDunphy 
woodeye 
akagugo 
h3llo41 
Salisbury_Brian 
Dupuis18 
MEMONK11 
fallakka 
razmig91 
lukeyflukey 
JackRipperz 
boomking 
ZenMonkey 
LichKing 
economicwarrior 
FunkyPresident 
hella_blonde 
SelArom 
DangerChocomog 
Baconman 
fehuq 
Wicked_One 
kato459 
