imTKA
If your first thought wasn't 3.141592653589793.... then please tell me what sex is
Frodeezy
Welcome, I've called you together because something has to be done. I propose the we kill the batman.
Julius_Goat
Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, eating his human pie. He stuck in his "thumb", and said "Damn, I am dumb. I'm pretty sure this is a guy."
Frodeezy
No one noticed Greg's approach as he had long since mastered the art of disguise.
walterscarff
Why that's the biggest pie I've seen since the Paris Hilton sex video. Am I right folks?!
Sissyphus
As you can see by this pie chart, Oompa-Loompa productivity is down twenty-eleven percent!
coconutscrimp
What's better than having a ventrilaquist? Having tulips around your meat pie.
Papillon
Simple Simon met a Pie-man on a lonely road. Said Simon to the Pie-man "Please let me taste your fare". Said the Pie-man "Show me your penny". So Simon MUGGED him.
OttoGaines
AAmmmmm IIIIIII ttttooooooo llllaaaattttteeeeeee ttttooooooo pppoooosssssttttttt aaaa ccccrrrraaaapppppttttiiiiooooonnnnnnn
Ceveron
For this part of the show we need a volunteer! Now, now folks, don't be shy, unspeakable horrors will not befall you
seannyb
The evolutionists would have you believe that the pie people descended from sentient berries or some shit.
RobertJSawyer
As American as ... WTF? Oh, crap. We need a new national metaphor now. Gee, thanks!
Zenejinzorin
You think i enjoy stabbing you?! I actually kind of do. And I can't help but lick the knife too. Your filling is delicious.
jtklove
He may have a flashy entourage, but it's still just a perverted puff pastry hanging around the park.
Kamikaze Phoenix
...He stuck in his dong, and pulled out a plum, and the cops maced him right in the eye.
Mr.Excalibur
Listen friend, all I'm saying is there HAS to be a better way to promote inter-racial harmony.
Ceveron
Thankfully, they rethought the whole Two-Face/Mad Hatter Hybrid for the Dark Knight
gypsy61
Imaginaation, iiiimaginatioooon, imaginatioooooon, iiiimmmaaaagggginaaaatttiooon, imaganiation, immmmaaggginatiiiooon.....
Dunstin Checks Out
That's what I like! A brown hole surrounded by rosy cheeks... and a midget.
geewizz
This picture's not funny,... it's just sad. I'll vote for anybody who comes up with a CRAPTION to cheer me up right now.
Blinker_Fluid
I found this picture on my camera so I guess I wasn't tripping balls in the park.
Julius_Goat
I am still skeptical that home-schooling produces well-rounded young adults.
Julius_Goat
"Dearly beloved, we are here today to witness the union between this Willy Wonka and this horrifying walking chicken pot pie. If any of you has any objections to this marriage . . . GOOD!"
Backinblack
That is NOT a pie, it's the tumor that connects me to my parasitic twin dwarf brother, YOU INSENSITIVE DICK!!!
Blinker_Fluid
His parents never really accepted her after they found out she had a store-bought crust.
sagittarius1203
Does anyone else think that the McDonalds Super-Size portions are getting ridiculous?
metsfan
A tulip witha broken wrist and deformed ankles, a pie with bloodstains, and a ten year old who smokes and has a replica of himself. Im beginning to get an idea of who this craption photographer is.
bhippie
When you stare crazy in the face, you just hope the bloody chicken pot pie doesn't stare you back.
dandaman
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie... it'll probably have this much blood on it afterwards, too.
Backinblack
Somebody tried to divide "pi" by zero again, and the results were fucking awesome!
Kamikaze Phoenix
Mmmm! This IS good pie! I can't wait until the rest of the band gets here! Where are they anyway? They're pretty late. I hope...oh my god...YOU MONSTER!!! YOU MONSTER!!!
jbirchfield1
DAMMIT I said I wanted a giant walking BLUEBERRY pie. I'm not paying for this, plust it looks like somebody stuck a finger in it.
Kamikaze Phoenix
When the pie was opened, zombie birds flew out, we all ran for our lives, and the king pretty much lost it.
jbirchfield1
It looks like the "walk of shame" after a night of intense orgies at my house.
sagittarius1203
Isn't Halloween great? It's the only day when no one will laugh at your date!
Julius_Goat
As he was the only other person who couldn't make fun of him, Dave struck up a friendship with Pablo.
jbirchfield1
It's pretty obvious to me that this isn't the work of Jason Biggs, but John Holmes.
jbirchfield1
Who would stick their dick in pie when there are so many hot tulips walking around????
Backinblack
When Two-face joined forces with The Pie Man, the results were, well, strange...
gypsy61
OK, you know what, you guys don't have to come to school today, in fact take tomorrow off to refill your perscriptions
Papillon
Kaleidoscope eyes, marshmallow pies. and Tulips with looking-glass ties.. must stop smoking this sh#t.
rxmx
in some cultures instead of the birds and the bees they use rejected extras from Fantasia to show how a man and woman "make love", this is the scene where the flowers and the uh oh oreos in suits bukkake the pie
Papillon
Only thing better than having Roses on your piano is having Tulips on your organ, with Cherry pie for desert.
bamentt
Looks gay, has oddly dressed characters, possibly San Francisco. You hit all the aspects. Well done. Now I can masturbate. Thanks, Cracked!
jbirchfield1
The problem with being a pie is everyone know when you lose your virginity.
Rex-Jester
What I said was, "I need a big thing of flower," and NOT "I need big flowers!" Would somebody please replace this douchebag with an intelligent fucking henchman, please! Please!
smoochy
I Might be Clair Voyant. I had a Dream about this Last Night.....But I have this Dream Every Night.....
goobernosski
Is that a snuggie with a flower head attachment?!?!? Now I am definitely getting one!
kdbrown3
Not what I meant by, "I'd like to work my magical little man on some pie and two lips."
Taikero
William Tell smiled smugly. This enormous pie would be much easier to hit than that apple.
rockemsockem
"I'm serious, if O.J. shows up as a giant knife again my crusty ass is outta here!!"
getittwistd
This is the hole where the penis was inserted, and these are the burn marks from where the testicles made contact with the scalding pie crust.
Teecko
WHERE THE HELL DOES CRACKED FIND THEIR PICTURES?! Are there really this many crazy people in the world!?
Mr.Excalibur
Good God! A midget/puppet/mime! All of my nightmares combined into one Voltron-like entity.
unmoris
Now spread those tulips further apart and I'll shove my little man in your creampie.
WhatForWhat?
The pie was trying to hit on the tulips, not the puppeteer. But as you can see, he can't see. Stupid pies.
jbirchfield1
So this is what happens when Tim Burton directs a documetory on Abe Lincoln....
howvery
Sure, ignore the fact that the kid in the top hat is totally smoking a Black and Mild.
Kamikaze Phoenix
This is better than yesterday's performance. He had his dick out for that one.
RogersIB
At Montgomery Middle School full black face has been banned, but hey, how about a half a black face! They have so far to go.
LoboBrunt
I had hear The Office jumped the shark this season, but I didn't know it was THAT bad!
Fzad
They're only trying to distract you from noticing that the kid wearing the tulip is a faun.
Kamikaze Phoenix
Listen pie, you one of my bitches now. You best clean that blood up, and get your ass over there with the rest of the stable, or I'll forkslap you again...
pwfisher
Sex ed for the swing set set. Pictured: Mister Cegenation and Mini Mixer, Black Cherry Pie and the Two Lips.
Sytry72
Someone needs to tell A.J. Burnett that this whole "pie in the face" thing is getting absurd
savinator
"Hey, Mini Lewis Carroll character, if we eat this giant, antropomorphic pie, how long before we can go in the pool? Like, 20 minutes?" "Oh yeah, dude, at LEAST 20 minutes."
smoochy
This is Where the Giant gets a Pie in the Face..I'm distracted by that off to the left.......
hustlebunny
This is what happens when your parents are "ARTISTS"...the kids always suffer the most
r0kLobst3r
On Friday, the 7th graders will be performing their rendition of "American Pie".
rgentry
Little Jack Horner/sat in his corner/ dropping acid and taking some shrooms/inside his pie was the reason for why/he dressed in a tulip costume.
FloydotheGreat
The prop department prepares for "American Pie; The Musical" Starring Chuck Norris
klayb
is it just me or is Cracked.com just getting lazy, i mean this is not much of a craption...
cdizzy
Pie Eating Rodeo: You must run down, hog tie, and eat as many pies as possible within the time limit.
kdbrown3
What did you think I meant by, "Let me work my magical little man on some pie with tulips."?
patjk73
Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland looks only slightly better than his Planet of the Apes.
patjk73
It is generally considered bad luck to have more than one flower girl at your wedding.
GreenDayGirl
The new musical, feturing 2 tulips, and a dancing pie is now banned from the park for scaring small children
hanser36
Its no coincidence that the midget is standing in front of the pie..that has a hole in it...looking at you.
ScottAldridge
And so, children's TV stars Big Cook and Little Cook take cooking to a whole new level...
m1911lvr
Ok seriously Alice if you spike our tea with that stuff that says Drink ME one more time i will beat you with my new Two-Face Batman Collectors item now with improved pie eating action!!!!
LichKing
Fans of douchebags, flowers and pies were delighted today as PUSHING DAISIES was renewed with a slightly reduced budget.
ShomariMari
"Man, I'm never using an online dating service again. She totally lied about being a size 6. Oh yeah, and she's a pie."
Jordano
"...and that's how you deflower a pie" "no, that's how you ruin a pie...by putting your genitals in it"
lc_ii
This is why Trick or treating generally starts in the evenings. Wearing costumes in broad daylight is just ****ing weird.
Cowbell
"It's the Pied Piper! Heyo!" "Damnit, I warned you about the fucking puns!" Steve's last words were not as profound has he had imagined.
alater
seannyb A disturbing look at the cannibalistic rituals of the midwest. ### bisexual/gay/lesbian FindBilover dotcom
jakflak
Alice in Wonderland, the musical never made it past the 'street performing' stage.
OttoGaines
child labor is going to be all over this shit, kids aren't allowed to test out LSD
Ometeotl
That pie is clearly blushing in embarrassment due to having her "hole" revealed to the world like this.
Sissyphus
We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of Dumbledore. Please, be seated.
jakflak
The pie was found guilty at the cartoon court, and the doll was able to start the healing.
BillyBob77
The last picture of the pie alive...somehow they didn't find any traces of him after this though
RogersIB
Demonstrating that it doesn't matter if your black or white, or wrapped in a roll.
bdadz
"...and, well, we got married. Several months later she popped out this little guy. Spitting image of me, right down to the gay suit and top hat combo."
arm66
One day, at band camp, one of the hot counselors gave us some shrooms and we ate them and then things got all trippy and.....
bdadz
At least in this crappy "American Pie" spin-off they went back to having sex with pies.
Mr.Excalibur
Logical process: this picture reminds me of Warrant. Anything that reminds me of Warrant is AWESOME. Therefore this Picture is AWESOME.
jjok
I'd bang a costumed character if it had enough hair on it.....this is just more convenient
WhatForWhat?
Little Timmy could never eat pies, pick flowers, or play with dolls ever again.
NotSafyreSchool
Nothing outcooks this enterpriser. he keeps cooking and cooking and cooking...
jjok
One of the reasons Debbie had a hard time dating was because it was widely known she had a big pie.
GypoHunter
Steve, I dont want to alarm you, but theres a miniature version of you directly in front of you!
Kamikaze Phoenix
For my next trick, I will need an American Pie! Yes indeed! Now my small assistant will teach this pie the ways of love!
revmitcz
"Now, my opponent wants you to believe that sex with pastries is wrong - but IS it? Is it REALLY? I mean, just LOOK at this thing!"
Kamikaze Phoenix
Stop the surgery!!! They aren't medically qualified to operate on that pie!
mets0020
What did the pie every do to you all he did was create a sensation in your mouth you didn't have to shoot him
dungeonmaster11
This guy is a rare breed of mad scientist, whose purpose is to be literal about his sexual innuendo with through genetic mutation-driven plays before orgies; today's in particular being how he'd like 'pop some cherries' and enact 'deflowerings', with
smoochy
I think they missed the point of Wonderland. Off with their heads. I'm seriously.
matt27lk
Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like? Like warm apple pie. McDonald's or homemade?
bdadz
Hey, we all know that this guy and his little friend are going to double team that pie, but at least they brought it flowers.
RogersIB
Jack was excited to meet his blind date. He had heard she was a bit of a tart. He didn't think they meant that kind of tart.
RogersIB
When I encounter such an event I always fall back on, WWBD ~ 'What Would Bubba Do'.
BiggusDiccus
He better hope that Paul Bunion is not around...or at least that he hasn't seen American Pie...
fkafl
Wow. An apple pie that I wouldn't want to fuck. I guess there's a first for everything.
sethesthesia
Joseph just couldn't let go of the costume he bought the year American Pie came out.
iloveboobies
The pie having a hole in it is bad enough. Why though does the pastry have big ass nipples??
Backinblack
I don't get it, there are two virgins waiting to be deflowered, but all he wants to do is eat pie and get head from a midget!!!
paulg
the oreo cookie was extremely embarrassed. especially when talking to people about his "cream"y filled center.
smoochy
If One could express the Excitement generated by this event in terms of a Peanut-Butter Cookie....This would be it.
1.21jigawatt
what pie? I see a rolled condom with a big hole in it... need a recall here.
1.21jigawatt
Shhhh... I'm hunting wabbits, especially wabbits with large pocket watches...
Lustig
"See that handsome clown over there? He's been sight rapin' me all day... I'm serious man, if he so much as glances over here again I'm gonna throw myself at him." "Come on man! Please, don't degrade yourself to pie throwing!"
Chrizz0
Just ask those tulips, I was just playing the bad touch on my jazzoo. The midg-person with the boner was the one who tea-bagged your slut-pie of a wife Mr. Moore. Here, have some coke.
testpattern
Simple Simon met a mini pie man going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to the mini pie man " Why don't you hump my leg?" And then we can both do the chic in the blue condom outfit.
MentalFrog
Despite many changes from the feminist movement Patty Pie Patty Pie Baker's Woman never really caught on.
rgentry
Little Jack Horner sat in his corner/ dropping some acid and shrooms/ it was inside his pie, that he then found out why/ he was wearing a tulip costume.
brayhite
American Pie's inspiration. Somewhere along the script, the pie got messier and tulips went missing.
BillWilliams
Glory hole. Face wiper. Participants willing to be deflowered. What more could the Jolly green giant want.
johhnydamage
The chef grew weary when he saw the blood stains, he knew the pie had a taste for human flesh.
klayb
acording to the bible god created the pie, after comming back from the desert because lets face it,40 f**king thays without any food.
klayb
Mr.Saw pie house now open in suburbs where your most likely to get kinnaped and torture, try our cherry pie!
Daniel!
whe are here together to say goodbye to our beloved friend Buckethead. May his soul rest in peace
klayb
hey madam can i intrest you in a warm soft peace of pie.-you perver!, (tom man your doing it wrong...)
klayb
During the precidenty of Bush Nija missions undearcover where just ridiculous and halarious
get_awesome
My mini-me tells me the spiders have all left, which means we've run out of acid, so... see you next week, I guess.
piet9007
Marquis de Sade hands out instructions at his party:"first he licks you then you dunk him"
MEMONK11
The "Midget Leg Humper", "Crusty Pie Hole" and "The Green Tampon" were some of the few lesser known super heros that couldn't get into Comicon.
MaelstromZa
...and so the Swedish prime minister declared that there will be peace once more.
Gillis.C
It was at this point that Steven contemplated stabbing himself to death with a ventriloquist's dummy
Charlie1224
"Welcome the new people to the Ringling Brothers circus, making circuses gayer since 1890!"
Charlie1224
"I call you all here to make Ronald McDonald an offer he can't refuse, he will rue the day he crossed us."
Jimmy223
"So, Dr. Chef, we meet again. And this time, I assure you, I /will/ have my revenge"
Pabst Breath
"Now, you guys lure the children to this spot. I'll take care of getting them in the van."
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