Other Craptions

Why am I the only tree hippies won't hug?

You're so racist. That's not an oak, that's an elm. What, so all trees look alike to you?

To Catch A Hobbit, next on Dateline.

Okay, I'm here!!! Where all the white Beeches at?!!

Luckily, no one noticed his morningwood.

It was a cool costume until he was accosted by two young lovers who scarred him for life with their initials.

An ent with a wooden staff? Wouldn't that be like me walking around with a severed leg?

Should have taken the red pill.

"Man... I really need to drop a LOG, do you know where the Little Saplings room is?"

"No, I've never heard of Burning Man? Why do you aAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHH!"

Oh shit, a carpenter convention !!

The Ent Zone

Keith Richards is looking better than ever

Pinocchio hasn't aged well.

I have the opposite problem, I wish these twittering tweeters would STOP following me.

I think that I shall never see, a poem as lovely as a... what the FUCK is that thing??? Run!!!

Ent-Zite, Natural Branch Enhancement. It works!

Looks like the oaks on him.

Now culturally irrelevent, the Deku Tree has resorted to trade shows

Best hard-wood floor salesman EVER.

He had come as nature's emissary, to warn humans of the effects of their wasteful ways. He made 100 reams of the highest-quality printer paper they'd ever seen before.

elijah wood, lord of the rings, ent... get it ?

Looks like you CAN eat too much tofu.

Got wood?

"Get Ent!"

"Hey, somebody catch that kid that carved his initials in my ass!"

"Many of the sticks in those corn dogs were my friends..."

Don't be hasty!

A Question just came to mind: What do Ents call their erect penises? It can't be "woodies". That would just be redundant.

He hates squirrels. So much.

"Where the treehuggers at?"

AAAHHHH!!!! Micheal Jackson resurected!!

Nice costume, but his performance was wooden.

He fled the concert when the guitarist started bragging about his ax.

I can't believe I fell in the middle of the forest and no one came to help me! I was yelling for days and days... you miserable bastards!!!

I knew this day would come. The tree want revenge for all their brothers we sacrificed to Santa....

Shit....this isn't Isenguard, is it?

Barking mad takes on a whole new meaning.

You know you've gone to a lame-ass convention when the celebrity appearance is by Treebeard.

If a tree shows up at the county fair and no one cares, does it make a sound?

His dad did more than just HUG trees.

It's 4th down, Tree-beard. We gonna punt or what?

Then bob realized that the lord of the rings convention was last week.

"Look, creepshow, you're not welcome here. Now make like a tr— You get the idea."

Tree ents want to be a part of the Buffalo wing festival, too

"Oh shit, this is a lumberjack festival... I'm fucked..."

Ahhhh Fall. The leaves are changing, the wind has a crisp bite, and this fucking thing is rubbin one out on a football field.

He's not gay, he just hates beaver.

When the genie suggested that he could be his favorite hero, he responded, "Ash," a little too quickly.