noreport
Hi, Billy Mays here...Have you ever wanted to look like a complete idiot? WELL I GOT JUST THE THING!
Mothra24
C'mon now, people! We can't let a misspelled craption win! Where are the gay/penis/France/Sarah Jessica Parker jokes?!
Charlie1224
"That red headed whore Ariel, pissed off the Coast Guard, now she'll be buired "under the sea"
mephitic
and with that, Dave lept into the deep to appease Nessie's toothache with the world's largest Tylenol pill.
tsiegle
In an effort to increase the Loch Ness Monster population, scientists eliminate the "I have a headache" excuse
Shurimpu
Encouraged by the success off Diet Coke and Mentos, scientists have begun testing Pepcid AC and Lake.
momoy
This is more like it Cracked. Enough Gay Week, Fire Week, and Moron Week for awhile. Support the Latin American Trade Week is on.
Zangetsu
Jesus walks on water. Chuck Norris hovers above it whilst holding a massive pill.
DrTom
Ultimately, it was the only way the Winehouse family could find to coax Amy to take a bath.
Diasdiem
To increase the sperm whale population, marine biologists started dumping Viagra into the ocean.
noreport
"So I went fishing last weekend..." "oh really?...what did you use for bait?" "a person." "Oh...interesting"
Rex-Jester
When Cthulhu gets a headache, he demands Tylenol, and at least one human sacrifice.
Rex-Jester
We warned Mrs. Ferguson that excessive water retention was a potential side effect during the drug trials.
GaseousClay
Usually a guy shoots semen out of his sack and they go for a swim. Not often that you see seamen shoot a guy into a sack before he goes for a swim.
Kamikaze Phoenix
Experts claimed the mood stabilizer would help with all the unpredictable tides and sea storms lately.
WorstNameEver
2:00pm...refresh...refresh...refresh...(500 craptioners' minds simultaneously think of a butthole)
Rex-Jester
Better news, it's a Sapphository - after cramming it up your ass, you spout Greek Lesbian poetry!
Rex-Jester
There's one on the other side of the boat, which is why they're called tampoons.
crazyivan
They screamed as loud as they could, but Jim wouldn't let go. Jim COULDN'T let go.
Versus
You're all wrong. It's a screen shot from Pirates of the Caribbean: Salami in the Sea.
Rex-Jester
AP, Glasgow- Scientists attempt to coax Nessie out of Loch Ness with some Spanish Fly.
bcanders
It's a Cuban pinata. In US waters, you hit it with a stick and people fall out.
Julius_Goat
"Little, yellow, different? Try Huge, Two-Colored, Unique. SUCK IT, NUPRIN!"
Blinker_Fluid
I know Tylenol will reduce a fever but I don't think giving the earth a couple giant ones will stop global warming.
bcanders
Yes, this new medical breakthrough cures almost everything. What we do is smash you with it until you stop whining.
Zangetsu
I'm 4 minutes late, now my midget joke will never have a chance to face the critique of the public...
megaweege66
Good News everyone. The Somali pirates agreed to let us go if we give up our meds soo.....Dammit Janet!!!
Rex-Jester
In a desperate move to appease "Chessie" of the Chesapeake Bay, Baltimoreans offer liverwurst, and Rigo, the smelly stevedore as supplication.
Fawkes13
When the harpoon failed, Captain Ahab tried chemical warfare in the form of a giant sleep medication tablet.
xThorsefx
Knowing that the glue would never come off, Roger chose death by drowning rather than face the humiliation.
petegadget
It would be the last time his wife told him "not tonight, I have an headache"
Mr.Excalibur
I don't know what's going on in this picture but it certainly looks unnecessary.
Supermanfxk
I think that correct spelling should be a condition of being in the lead. Jackass.
Mothra24
Vote for "We're gonna need a bigger throat! I still love you Chase Mitchell! Marry me!
Pieter
You're right, let's scratch this idea...it was much easier testing this stuff on rats.
dungeonmaster11
"With this much speed dumped into the loch, there's no fuckin' way Nessie'll stay below the surface for long!"
jimdocusa
That bitch Nancy is always trying to be the center of attention in group photos.
MillsC9
My doctor told me to take two and call him in the morning... I think my doctor wants to kill me.
bilbo1
Japaness officials concluded today, "Godzirra so angry because he need a raxative."
Priapism
Oh no! The entire crew has headaches! Wait, what's that? Look, its Super-Andy to save the day!
tubbyninja
The "one a day" it would take to fix whatever the f**k is wrong with Shane Macgowan
Zangetsu
I just felt the need to clear something up... Viagra's blue... This... This is a Mario pill.
Rex-Jester
Let me be the first to offer my fealty to our large, capsule shaped overlords.
Blinker_Fluid
That's the last of it Mr. Hubbard. We just can't fit any more drugs on your boat.
Ratsn3farious
World's largest Jimmy Dean sausage...because even sea creatures need a hearty breakfast.
Backinblack
Guess what? They found that plane that crashed in those "Airplane!" movies, and it really does look like a big Tylenol!
jedimastergigi
When you REALLY need pain relief, Tylenol HS (Holy Shit) is there for you and everyone in your water system.
Rex-Jester
The hazards of swimming with a tampon in... just ask the Fifty Foot Woman, who also lost her "little man in a boat."
dramirezs23
"What the hell are we reaching for?" "I don't know but I'll be goddammed if we're gonna let Lenny keep it."
Griffin3820
I'll be damned if I'm going to let a fucking Yakov Smirnoff joke win the Craption today. Damned.
dpollok
One pill makes you larger, One pill makes you small. Take them in the wrong order and you are gonna have a ball.
Lavender
The world's largest Prozac capsule is now being dropped into waters near North Vietnam
quagmyre
They all waved goodbye, knowing that they would never see Jim and their cargo of morphine again.
bifff
When debating healthcare, it's important to remember that even Cthulu has trouble getting insurance
bdadz
Jaws has to need some pain meds after being blown up in the original movie (and the crappy sequels, I guess).
megaweege66
It was agreed. Lisa would be sacrificed to the giant Tylenol as her friends looked on with Jazz hands.
bdadz
It's always a good idea to drop a morning after pill in the ocean after you rub one out in it.
bilbo1
Experienced fisherman demonstrate the correct method for catching Ozzy Osbourne in the wild.
zbeebs
After many, many compromises, Congress finally passes a Universal Health Care plan.
Papillon
Mutinous crew decide to have some fun with their deposed captain prior to Keel-hauling him.
tdragon316
Bag training for 'Free Willy vs Jaws: The Confrontation for Ocean Domination'
sarahbella
Unfortunately the latest cure for aids could not be broken down into a smaller digestible size. Hopefuls still attempted ingesting.
Fawkes13
I think this is the latest theory on how to stop earthquakes....Scientists everywhere applaud Tylenol's efforts, while laughing themselves silly.
jimdocusa
Nothing is more interesting than watching ships off-load cargo from countries without the FDA.
Boy_Genius
The tourism board feeds the Loch Ness monster her daily vitamin. Also, her daily tourist.
RogersIB
Just as with a pet dog, it is easier to get Great White Sharks to take their medicine if you tempt them with a tasty snack as well.
savinator
My bologna has a first name, it's F-U-C-K-I-N-G. My bologna has a second name, it's H-U-G-E.
Pieter
Don't you miss the old days when it was just a few hypodermic needles washing up on shore?
RogersIB
Some see the giant bag of blood as half empty, the great white just sees a bag of blood.
Mr.Excalibur
I swear to GOD, if the people at Cracked don't start to watch their spelling, I WILL LET GO AND DROWN MYSELF!
Ratsn3farious
* insert craption with suppository/tampon/pill/drug anecdote or any combination thereof *
ParentesPizza
When i said id have to be on drugs to ever learn river dancing, well, you just got everything wrong.
jseblan
That's a great idea, Jim. Throwing Prozac in the lake is way more efficient than bombing the fish.
IcemanLeigh
Luckily Superman was on hand to stop Morpheus's evil plan to get 'The Red Pill' into the worlds water supply.
fugawf
Ahab's crew knew he had lost his mind when he decided to stop trying to kill Moby Dick... and start trying to date rape him.
BluMousr
No one was surprised when they found out Dr. Mario was overmedicating his patients.
snowblind98
Boat - $175,000 Giant bag of chum - $500 Tossing your friend into shark infested water - priceless
Lennyjaycor
You know you're addicted when you jump overboard into shark infested water in an attempt to get what looks like Oxycontin.
lordbahall
~~ "A little bit of human helps the medecine..go down.....the medecine....go down....the medecine...go down. A little bit of human...."~~~
mjboudx
Excederin Mega ton: if this doesn't cure your headache, it will probably fucking kill you.
Renfield7
Alice had finally shrunk so small that she could no longer swallow any more pills.
MattNightingale
"It's really convenient! Instead of taking birth control every day, you just take this one big one."
ratchet1215
The crew of the Guppy attempts to summon Whitney Houston from the murky depths.
ATPkid
Some men can only dream of finding a roofie that big, and these guys let it fly away
Manlybeard
Obama's healthcare solution, everyone gets one pill to last the rest of their life.
Harlond
Now you just hang on there as bait and soon the Cthulhu will consume the pill. Will it hurt? No, he'll be fine.
papajon0s1
"Must be given to whales as a suppository? You know, I don't want to work for Greenpeace anymore."
Zenejinzorin
Forget it guys...he's doomed. But man is he going to enjoy the Sh!t out of it!
MillsC9
The Asparin fishermen of the South Pacific rejoiced as they hauled in what would prove to be thier fortune.
Renfield7
We've began trying to get the Loch Ness Monster to tripp it's balls off out of hiding.
Kamikaze Phoenix
Leviathan had a headache THIS big, but the marine biologists were kind enough to bring it an appropriately sized Excedrin.
chapdaddy
So Doctor I take this pill twice a day for 2 weeks? But how am I supose to swallow it? OH... I don't.
Renfield7
Greenpeace saves yet another shipment of puppies from a horrible drowning death.
Woozy
ATTENTION: May cause dementia and hallucinations in some pat-HOLY SHIT GIMMEGIMMEGIMME!
papajon0s1
This is what you get when you combine Health Care reform with Global climate change policy.
MattNightingale
Kevin knew that a punching bag is the best bait to use if you want to catch a human.
megaweege66
It was really hard to pull the wrapper off of the world's largest bologna. Souls were lost.
noreport
The perfect way to ween someone off drugs is to give them a choice: Have all the drugs you want or drown.
Kamikaze Phoenix
Once they were arrested for having sex with fish, the police found this image in the perpetrators' camera, which is clearly them with a giant roofie.
Zangetsu
Even although Soviet Russia was ruled with an iron clad grasp, drugs were still a viable detour... It's the required dose that called for originality...
tdragon316
After years of Aquaman's whining, overdose seemed like the humane way to relieve their suffering...
Fawkes13
"On this episode of Mythbusters: Jamie and Adam test out the myth, if you drop a giant Pepcid AC into a lake, will you get a unholy fountain of death?"
Papillon
Crew of the Titanic spot an Iceberg and attempt to lay fender bouye between it and the ship's hull.
WinstonWebb
The head of al Qaeda's bio-weapons division gets less than positive results at the unveiling of his "Doomsday Device".
savinator
John, Paul and George could not save Ringo from himself. That night, he wrote Yellow Submarine.
Zangetsu
Taken through the anus, we GET IT! All it takes is one more joke like that and then... I'll make every single one of you take suppositaries...
Charlie1224
"We told you not to mess with people, you stupid whales. This poison pill will "fix" you."
balaban
The decision to treat Keiko's recent illness with supositories wasn't popular with the trainers
Charlie1224
"When push came to shove even Homer Simpson found a way to fix climate change."
savinator
The giant flaming oval was successfully extinguished. The giant flaming sphere from last week would be next.
guythreepwood
'Hey guys! Do I look like a bit of pollen from one of those hayfever commercials?'
Boxy
Under the sea, under theh sea, I will show you whats' under the sea you fucking gay crab.
jimdocusa
Emptying Michael Moore's colostomy bag is a great challenge, and an environmental calamity.
elad
Although not stylish, the hats helped shield the ladies from the semen all the huge floating cocks and homers were spraying willy-nilly at that time in history.
Charlie1224
"The war between Aquaman and the Coast Guard was not going well for Aquaman."
HMS_Ford
The crew quickly realized that they had to sacrifice one of their own to the Giant Inflated Thingy.
Happy Emo
Instructions: For planets take 1 every 4 hours as needed. Do not take more than 4 a day.
Charlie1224
"When will Mister Burns learn, you can't dump toxic waste without a permit!"
quagmyre
Right now you're probably saying to yourself-"I should have taken the BLUE pill"
jayinater
After the Loch Ness went postal, and seeing that he was impervious to any sort of weapon, the council decided that there was only one way to ameliorate the situation...
ParentesPizza
"after grampa's old balloon parade stories i decided to make my own nerage one! it didnt go so well."
ParentesPizza
If they would have just legalized pot people wouldnt do stuff like this, instead that would be a giant bag of chips.
itchy-chin
Introducing 'Lazy man fishing'. Just drug the fish and scoop them up with a bucket.
cnfree
Carlos awoke groggily, wondering why all he could see was Red and White, and why his ass hurt so badly...
Father_Johann
Maybe if we offer natural male enhancement AND a human sacrifice we can get Nessy to show show himself!
WorstNameEver
The next day: "Yeah, Doc, my stomach feels alot better, but my ass is sore as shit."
Father_Johann
In Rocky IX, the titular boxing hero trains by punching bags...............IN A F!CK!NG LAKE!
Copperpot
To open the pinata for George Bush's 60th Birthday they threw actual Mexicans at it.
BillWilliams
I wanna touch the monkey next! I wanna touch the monkey next! No, me! It's my turn! Are we there yet? I have to go to the bathroom, nowww!
clay0950
Animal Rights people take it too far when they try to make the fish feel better
awesome-oer
No no no ! This is not about that huge pill its about the guy hanging on it !
Grogger
"But Dr. Mario jumping on it WILL NOT make it smaller...how the hell did you get a medical licence?"
87gn
You asked for it! Here's your "gay/penis/France/Sarah Jessica Parker joke". Sorry it's not funny or anything like that.
RandyChimp
"You wanted a cure for AIDs? Here's your cure! Swallow that! HA HA! MWAH HA HA HA! MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
mc.notlovin
If you can't lead a horse to water then you can't lead Nessie to a suicide pill
katzmandu
Although out of context this picture may seem ridiculous, that pill is full of babies and kittens. Feel like a dick for laughing, don't you?
T-Weezy
Well, I TRIED to tell her she wouldn't be able to swallow it, but she went ahead and tried anyway.
jazzybmw30
During a disposal routine. The narcotics squad found one of its members might have a problem.
PhallenAinjewl
Mr. Busey..your prescription is ready. May we recommend lots and lots of water?
luqman_e
Thats it! I'm sick of playing the waiting game. Nessy come out and choke of this you sonofa&@%*#!!!
jmxcomp
OK! You WIN! Take one pill daily with plenty of water IS vague! Now get back on the fucking boat!
kcs316
Keith, it's not real don't.... Son of a b!tch. Charlie, Bill go fish him out. F*cking Richards!!!!
kcs316
"Yes Optimus.. one a day should clear it up", "Thanks Ratchet, and don't tell the other Autobots"
gutmindter
Shelly had the unenvious task of being Pfizer's representative to deliver the Cracken his first Zoloft Pill.
briarpatch
Dr Phillips, gyno to the stars, was greatful to once again be back on solid land everyone present agreed that life would be much easier and clearner once Rosie O'Donnell reached menopause.
briarpatch
Though greatful to once again be on dry land Dr Phillips, gyno to the stars, and everyone else on deck were in agreement that life will be much easier and cleaner once Rosie O'Donnell reached menopause.
briarpatch
Grateful to be clear and once again on solid ground Dr Phillips, “Gyno to the Stars” and his assistants all agreed that life will be much easier and cleaner once Rosie O’Donnell reached menopause.
Indigo_Dingo
The anti-drowning pill may have looked silly, but the results speak for themselves
87gn
Wake up people! This is what government health care looks like! Take a pill, go away. And if you come back, we will throw you overboard again! And Again! And again until you give up & die!
darkestknight
If the media tried to find a vaccine for swine flu it would also be blown up.
piratewhistle
It was then that the Lilliputian "Doctors Without Borders" effort failed. Hard.
doppelheathen
How's a whale supposed to swallow that, you ask? Well, good news. It's a suppository!
Kamikaze Phoenix
If you take the red and white pill, you fall off the boat and the sharks eat you; if you take the blue pill...no, I'm kidding. There's no blue pill.
RyoSanada
Alright guys! When i get over them, pull the lever! Im gonna give those sharks some fucking viagra and prozac!
DMMC
Okay, now swing it back over. Swing it here so we can reach! If Dr. Mario doesn't get this soon, the viruses will get us all!!!!!!
chump
Knowing that the world could not handle it, they decided to commit history's largest summer sausage to the deep.
vacantmanifesto
Early efforts to lure Nessie out for an intervention for her pill habit.
Destructicus
Before his friends could stop him, Fredrik leapt toward the bomb. He attempted to defuse it. There were no survivors.
Destructicus
Upon raising the gay magnet from the depths of the ocean, the men realised too late how it attracted gays...
wholover
"Don't you think this lake is rather warm for this time of year?" "Yeah, as if it had a fever or something." "By George I think you're onto something!"
misterq
First scene, and the live action version of Osmosis Jones was already over budget.
Fawkes13
"Look, Arthur..I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say NOW is NOT the best time to disturb the Lady of the Lake." "Why?" "No reason....."
marukabu
As the time of awakening draws near one brave soul gives his life to ensure that Cthulhu sleeps on
niko4ever
They all laughed when we said dinosaurs were more advanced than originally projected...
Nomad73
Vic just couldn't help himself as he jumped towards that giant tube of salami we pulled outta the Atlantic
Necrolove
Michael Jackson's unused medication being donated to the street kids of El Salvador
smill0313
News Break: Scientists are now using Viagra to help raise the sperm whale population. Also, this lady makes min. wage to insert the pill
shouldBworking
Those Bloody Americans are at it again...more excess.... did you see the size of that Tamiflu?
hawkeye85
the only way the government could find to destroy Anna Nicole's leftover "medication"
Ringgaard
Loch Ness has been having some trouble getting it up lately, so we wanted to help him.
jazzybmw30
Courtney Love's delivery was lost when the dealer specified deliver to worlds biggest sunken ship.
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