Other Craptions

"You know, Wong... these candles would look much cooler if we mounted them in some sort of ball."

"YOU get an eternal flame! YOU get an eternal flame! YOU get an eternal flame! EVERYBODY GETS AN ETERNAL FLAME!"

Bird Baths for those who don't like birds all that much.

Well. We've had Gay Week and Fire Week. I am NOT going to be around next week when it's OBVIOUSLY going to be Flaming Homosexual Week.

The most romantic bukkake set ever.

Flaming tampons are all the rage in Japan. Sadly, no one is surprised.

In North Korea, this is considered high-tech.

Al Gore is going to lose his shit when he sees you guys contributing to global warming.

HI, BILLY MAYS HERE. DO YOU LIKE CANDLES?!

Herrrooo.. my underwear is in frames....preeease

If I see ONE "Michael Bay" tea-light reference...I WILL PUKE OUT MY LUNGS!

At Japanese bathhouses, the candles aren't the only thing that get blown. (And you're welcome.)

Now everyone try really hard not to fart.

We've punished those hamsters enough already.

"I get it, I get it. You invented fire. Get over yourself already."

I thought you said we were roasting weenies. Wait, what? Oh, you're fucking sick.

See? If you REGISTER for your wedding, everybody doesn't bring the exact same present!

Great backyard BBQ party, Ling! And I see you solved that horrible mosquito problem from last year...

Are you guys sure that the chicks are coming? I mean... right now it feels kind of gay.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack is going to burn his dick!

1000 fires in a straw hut. What's wrong with that?

Well, Timmy, it's college, the military, or this.

There's one for every soul killed by Bruce Lee's awesomeness

Yes, very good...your God accepts your gifts of Fire and homo-eroticism. He is pleased...

...This isn't my fire. Neither is this one. This one looks like my fire, but it's not. No, this one isn't it either. This one looks familiar, but it smells nothing like my fire. That fire isn't mine either. I don't think it's this one...

Meet the Pyro

And we will light one giant candle for every man who has died while lighting a giant candle for a man who has died lighting a giant candle for a man who has died lighting a giant candle.

Liar,liar, pants on fire.Apparently they wanted that to happen.

This is but one of the many reasons I worship a fire goddess. We get represented on Cracked. Also, free matches.

What's wrong honey, I thought you said candle-lit dinner would be romantic?

I'd say they're doing that to appease the Gods, but they appear to be Buddists, who don't have the concept of God or gods in their belief system. Want to sleep with me?

The Gauntlet was a popular dare at the annual Tokyo chilli cook-off.

Needs more fire.

And I thought Turkish steam rooms were awkward.

Remember when Cracked has those really effed-up pics for Craptions that made you go "Where in the hell was this picture taken?" Those were the days.

At least there are no tentacles

In North Korea, flaming homosexuals is one of the nation's favorite pastimes.

Wandering into the store with a lit cigarette, Phil's mistranslation of the word 'candle' as 'ashtray' resulted in him having to buy half their stock.

Early Chinese fireworks were not as impressive as they are today.

Ok, now that the fires are set we can bring in the puppies and get this barbecue underway

Those candles are slutty. You can tell by the tatoos on their backs.

The North Korean missile program prepares for another launch

If getting turned from watching a group of half-naked men lighting over-sized candles is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Not what I meant when I wished for "hot asians"...

Tomb Of The Unknown Pyro

Me not stupid, me not dumb. Me put ice cubes up my bum.

Micheal Bay's "Sixteen Candles"

When the fuck did cracked become such pyros

Michael Bay presents: GLADE, SCENT OF DESTRUCTION