dpollok
Hey guys, I found out that hydrogen is WAY cheaper than helium for filling our balloons.
zaprowsdower
"Let's get two giant totem poles in case one spontaneously combusts," I said. Well, who's laughing NOW?
somfas
The Iranians were outraged that Israel would attck during their "Death to the Jews" festival.
josancho
Seconds after this photo was taken, another plane struck the second towering twin.
gypsy61
We take our pinata's very seriously, you'll need artillery to break these suckers open which unfortunately usually spreads the candy over three suare mile area, but the kids love it
dpollok
Quick everyone! Hide behind the other thing that looks just like the thing that blew up!
okeydokey
Despite their great size, the invaders were ultimately defeated by the humblest thing on earth, explosions.
SoCalDelta
After learning what yesterday's winning craption was, the Totem Pole burst into flame out of sheer disappointment.
Julius_Goat
OK, I understand being glad you're not the one set of fire. But to have such a smug smile on your face is just being a dick about it.
Dirtydog
Not to be out done by 'The Burning Man Festival', 'The Burning Giant Fu*ked up Thingy Festival' was a huge success!
iantendo
Ever since Bush and Blair stepped down I can't even tell WHO they're burning effigies of any more
Soneji
You know how I told you that being at this festival was like hell on earth? The fact that I'm burning alive only validates my point.
coda543
One torched float, several third degree burn victims, and three fatally wounded children. Overall, Mexico's Cinco De Mayo festival went prettttty well this year!
josancho
Idia's space program suffers a setback when vishnu 1 explodes on the launch pad. Luckily the backup crew aboard Shiva 2 was ready to lift off.
mabogo
So....I see the North Koreans are STILL trying to get a rocket off the ground.....
papajon0s1
"I am the Dread Pirate Roberts and I have come for your SOOOOOOOOOUUUULLLLLLL! ...And some cookies if they still have them at that snack table."
Kamikaze Phoenix
Back in my country, we build the biggest, most badass toy soldiers that you have ever seen!
landmine76
Damnit Hollywood, piñatas are smaller, don't have a 'firewall' to 'punch through,' and giving them an 'illogical feedback loop' doesn't make them explode.
1.21jigawatt
Cinco De Mayo, is nothing compared to Flaming Ses De Mayo. A day of burning big dolls in dry fields of grass. Its the Mexican version of running with the Bulls, just with tall violent flames and sparse water. Ah the memories of hair and eyelashes.
iantendo
I KNEW we shouldn't have hired a conceptual artist to make our effigies for us!
SammyBasketball
"Oh the humanity!" "Stewart, those could HARDLY be considered humans." "Why are you always ragging on me Bill? There are people FUCKING dying and you are worrying about these ballons' human properties?" "Yes. Yes I am."
zaprowsdower
Podunk decided they'd have better luck as the home of the world's ONLY giant knife-wielding totem pole
Celes.meh
Edward Cullen never saw the villagers coming, but they saw his sparkle from miles away....
Celes.meh
The only thing worse then a zombie chasing you is a zombie chasing you WHILE ON FIRE
987
Cartoon based theme parks in Kandahar bear little semblance to the likes of Disney world - The characters are a little to 'extremist' for western audiences...
PCHISHOLM1
The gods were okay with the one idol. When they tried for two, it's smiting time.
Julius_Goat
It really didn't take long for the human defenders to find the fatal weakness of the invaders from Explodicon V.
slickjamesjik
When your main attack is to combust, you don't prove much of a threat in the long run.
SoCalDelta
After seeing Whip-It, the totem pole burst into flames from sheer disappointment
Diasdiem
Mexican re-enactment of the classic Monty Python sketch, "How to Avoid Being Seen."
hellknight
OH GREAT!!!YOU 37 BITCHES HAVEN'T LEARNED YOUR LESSONS YET...YOU BURNT IT AGAIN??WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??????????
TromeoQue
There are some places where you simply shouldn't admit to liking Michael Moore.
PCHISHOLM1
You don't have to be faster than the flaming clown of death. You just have to be faster than the other people.
Obscurename
I think we all know who started the fire. That dust demon in the middle. Weird bastard.
angrystring
Bazooka - the only right answer for when you're being attacked by giant, knife wielding clowns.
sweett310
"What the f**k?! 37 wives, and I STILL have to come home to a giant burnt doll?!"
bhippie
Well, looks like someone brought an inflatable knife to an inflatable grenade fight.
crazyivan
As his brother's tortured screams dwindled to raspy gasps, Tom drew his sword and tried not to let his fear show.
bcanders
The conquest of Earth was going will until Xxmorga tried to light his fart on fire.
Windphilosopher
"We tried to stop them, but they just kept coming..." -Subtitle to Michael Bay's Pinocchio.
NotSafyreSchool
Hay guys, is it ok if I set the seance candle on this old barrel marked T.N.-something?
fakehooker
vote this up if you don't want another explosion associated with michel bay in another craption EVER
Lavender
Honey, we have company. So I'm not very interested about any fires in your pants
bdadz
"Oh my GOD! Who knew that dried out wicker and firecrackers would react like that!?"
twista331
"That was an EXPLOSIVE display", "So much fun I'm BURNING up" "Guys, I swear one more fire-related pun and I'm leaving."
thechachmeister
When I told my 37 wives to get rid of that burnt piece of shit, I didn't think they'd go as far as blowing it to kingdom come!
twista331
You know what's going through their minds? "OH SHIT" Except that one guy turning around, he's thinking "I'll wait till the other one explodes, then leg it"
papajon0s1
"You know, Rahib, they don't make terrorist training camps like they used too."
TheDRB
I'm sorry about my remark about dinner. It tasted great and I'm lucky to have you all in my life.
rollypolly
one giant inflatable man: $350. One bundle of dinamite: $200. Breaking up your noisey neighbors party: Priceless
Dafman
Yo giant statue, i'm really happy for you and i'mma let you finish, but transformers had the best explosions of all time
Adamgoodtime
Lets go fly a kite, up where the air is light, oh shit its about to ignite...
Versus
(To the left) This is your colon. (To the right) This is your colon on Curry Beef.
Adamgoodtime
Because brutally murdering the natives just wasn't enough. We had to cross the line at killing their Gods.
Imfuckingawsome
Early ancestors of the Autobots and Decepticons were poorly adapted and prone to malfunction.
Julius_Goat
Exploding demon clowns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, yeah, OK, they might kill people. They definitely do, actually. Hmmm.
Renfield7
This is the kind of shit they yell at you for when you're 10. Then they go out and do it when they think you're asleep.
Bill-rob
"All that money and effort up in smoke! You know what Jeff?! At next years parade we should just get naked and cling film ourselves together! Everyone will notice us then!!"
DocBrosnan
While "Burning Man" continues it's successful run..."Hermaphrodite Weekend" leaves something to be desired
Zounds!
Never let a shifty eyed guy named Aziz set up your giant birthday novelty Dervish statues.
zaprowsdower
The Iranian government would soon photoshop the picture to make it appear that both figures had ignited
Kamikaze Phoenix
This fully explains the action figure recall on missile-shooting Boba Fett. Apparently, choking on explosive projectiles is a health risk.
DeathByTheSword
"What's important is that everyone had a blast." "One more pun and I'll kill you Bob!"
tubbyninja
Fire: for when your religious festival hasn't been the success you were hoping for.
rollypolly
one giant inflatable man: $360; three sticks of dinamite: $200; tramplings and a stampede? Priceless.
Dranj
No, I'd rather hear about what you did last night. It's probably much more interesting.
LikesTacos
The Bollywood War of the Worlds is even lamer than the one with Tom Cruise in it.
Joey_09876
Good idea Johnson, but that was our only missile! How the heck are we going to stop the other one?
Blinker_Fluid
Blow up dolls filled with hydrogen and fireworks. It's a winning combination.
oatmeal
You think missiles will kill them? You don't know anything about aliens, do you.
gypsy61
"look at all that dry grass, can you say fire hazard?" - Fire Marshal Buzzkillington
Steaderz92
Worst theme park ever. Second to the depressing water park from two days ago.
Kamikaze Phoenix
Richard Pryor had a special parade to teach kids about the dangers of freebasing.
arm66
A suicide ballooner struck at the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade killing 15 rope handlers and wounding three other balloons.
Charlie1224
The War againest Pinochio was not going well, until his enemies got fireworks.
JayColvin
Giant Piniata: $150. Fireworks: $22. Owning a public Flaming Pillar of Death: Priceless.
Decth
"Now, where did i put my cigarette...... oh crap" Jason realised he forgot to tape Gossip Girl.
arkhmpatient
This is why, as a professional carpenter, I never use Chinese drywall in my constructions.
87gn
How many times have I asked you not to use inflammatory language when the kids are around?
The_Killah29
"He was talikning about it, but, God I didn't think he'd do it! Why didn't I listen to him"
avonbarksdale
Michael Bay's (fill in the blank). LOL LOLZ LOLZORS XD HAHAHAHA LOL LOL LOL =D
hovito213
And now for the Super Bowl halftime show Pepsi presents its tribute to Michael Jacks...OH MY GOD!!! Not Again!
Man_of_Paper
We can rebuild him they said. We can make him faster they said. Well, they said they had the technology and the money, and now all we got is a bonfire. Fucking great.
fleck01
The responsible thing to do is to be a sport and be mature in contests. But the fun thing to do is to destroy your opponent's work in fiery, smoking and awesome explosions.
bummerboy
The new terrorist budget forced them to tone down their attacks and limit them to county fairs.
Lavender
See how much I love you? I'm walking through fire wearing gasoline soaked underwear
josancho
British petroleums attempts to swidle India out of it's natural resources by disguising it's oil wells as deity's was soon exposed
bilbo1
Earth's first alien visitors were so gay that they actually burst into flame in our atmosphere.
arm66
THe Bollywood version of "GhostBusters" had more action and way cooler special effects.
1.21jigawatt
DRY GRASS, NO BRAINS, And LIGHTERS = 1 minute later 28 acres of lower SanDiego county was ablaze.
Truthiness
I get a flaming pig! You get a flaming pig! Everybody gets a flaming pig! Everybody gets a flaming pig!
getittwistd
Unlike sponaneous combustion, retardaneous combustion can't happen to anyone...just retards.
momoy
What happens when you mix 10 gallons of gas, five cases of beers, and an unemployment rate of 9.8%.
jjok
These fuckers didn't learn anything from the Hindenburg. NEVER USE HYDROGEN to inflate balloons.
jjok
India's version of "War of the Worlds" had the worst graphics in the history of movie making.
rchris1770
The horror of the day the Mongols invaded the Chinese New Year's day festival.
jjok
The final straw to Macy's impending bankruptcy.......their parade was an utter failure.
1.21jigawatt
2 Reasons why Greeks didn't invade Mexico in a Trojan horse... 1: Love of fire 2: Too many Mexicans[lazy slaves]
erob3131
Declassified US Intelligence Photo: A glimpse into the first Iranian nuclear missile launch.
DamoC
Wait till they climb it.... then blow the damn thing up.. GOD!!!..It's ok we'll get them on the other one..
987
Cartoon based theme parks in Kandahar bear little semblance to the likes of Disney world - The characters are a little to extremist for western audiences.
DukeCotton
After the Gulliver Incident, the Lilyputians were a lot more serious about how they would treat foreign visitors.
Evil_Pillow
Kazakhstan's minister of space informs the population the explosion of Igor, one of the twin space shuttles, was the work of jewish terrorists. Piotr, the other shuttle, is still functional. All the pilots must wash off evil spirits in Sergey's mansi
rye_bread
See kids? Don't ever smok. And if you do, don't throw you cigarettes on the floor. You may hurt Pinocchio.
Stbmstrsn
After a hilarious unexplained attack the insurgents have agreed not to use retarted suicide bombers in the future.
troll_alx
The Pakistani version of Burning Man draws fewer hippies and results in many more deaths.
rye_bread
OMG that thing is on fi...wait...WTF is this? Certainly not Walt Disney's caracters! C'mon kids, let's go!
paulg
FIRE FIRE FIRRRREEEE!!! That was cool. yeah. uh huh huh. Explosions are cool. uh huh huh.
aladdin
And you thought those poor Babushkas' husbands were NOT into pyromania? Here's proof to the contrary.
Lennyjaycor
Damn, we probably should have mowed the lawn before we put up these highly combustible balloons.
aladdin
Is this a scene from Ghostbusters III? Judging by the cloudy ghost featured in the middle of the picture one may say so.
cloudy_girl6
And now, the Giant Dildo Monkeys will peform their most daring act ever-WHAT THE EEYAAAHHH!!! RUN!
natedogg
Wacky Waiving Combustible Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Men!!! Wacky Waiving Combustible Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Men!!!
WinstonWebb
Not pictured: Mola Ram holding a flaming paper-mache heart and cackling maniacally.
jayinater
Rolf and Adam's giant clown-mech experiment went off without a hitch. However, in a drunken ferment of panic, the villagers viewed him as a threat.
Charlie1224
Even though they were smart, the Founding Fathers didn't know how to use fireworks.
Charlie1224
Walt Disney had a few dirty secrets including The War of the Disney characters.
Charlie1224
The new version of running with the bulls "Lets see how fast you can run away from fire."
Bollox
'UK DEMANDS MORE 'GAY FUCKS' PROTESTORS' - Nov 5th '08 Headline in 'DNA'-National Association for Dyslexia
Roma87
After they burned Sergey for shaving in the community pool Sergey sought his revenge.
Haljordon
And with that the rebals concentrated there fire on the last alien, puppet parade float.
PhallenAinjewl
HA! You think this is bad, you should've been around for the Hindenburg!!
LikesTacos
Does it really come as a surprise people were blowing those things up? Just look at them, there begging for it.
DustinTheWind
You know those creepy clown pictures in your nightmares? Yeah. They were real. And now they're on fire.
babs
Holding the answer to Burning Man in the middle of a dry field somehow didn't have as much punch.
Blancgab
Believe it or not, this is what it looks like when everything at the festival goes according to plan.
dimma415
Shit! How could we fall for that again? This is exactly how the British colonized us the first time.
paulg
the local theater put together their production of the real story story behind how Michael Jackson's hair caught on fire,and it recieved positive reviews by the critics.
BaconEgg
What the Buddhist self-incineration would be like if they had today's technology
Decth
Toby the Giant had to learn his lesson the hard way, don't chew with your mouth open!
HastleFree
What kind of mother fucking 9/11 monument do the Cherokee make? -realistic ones
JBHiFive
The celerity of which these 4m paper mache dolls catch fire is truly surprising.
harleya48
One minute were holding hands wearing drapes and singing Kumbaya, now we're running and screaming?
Intangelon
Some football fans were more...extreme in expressing disappointment about receivers not laying out to catch crucial passes.
cloudy_girl6
and on the umpteenth day... God hath smite all innapropiately shaped monkeys
TopherSpade
Giant Clown Statue sent to hell for 1) Being a false idol. 2) Scaring children. 3) Homosexuality(?)
awravene
Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flaming Tube Man. Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flaming Tube Man. Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flaming Tube Man!!
TheDyingFoxEric
Introducing the ALL NEW skinny STAY PUFT marshmallow man! flammable as ever!
CameronReed
Because at the time filling the massive baloon man with flammable gas and doing a torch dance sounded F*****G AWESOME.
jesusshaves
This year God decided there would only be one giant statue of Freddy Mercury
Charlie1224
Martin Scoreseces live action version of Fantasia. Violence never looked so attractive!
aschwartz
It was then they realized that pull my finger took on a whole scary new meaning
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