geniuswaitress
"What the f**k?! 37 wives, and I STILL have to come home to a burnt dinner."
deaved_wrath
"Do you really think this was the best way to punish Sergey for shaving in the community pool?"
Anthony_H
The last time I tried to introduce evolution theory to the Kansas education system...
Julius_Goat
The sign at the end says "You Must Be THIS Witchy To Be Burned In This Fire."
racedogg2
Ah yes, a mystic culture does an ancient ritual with great meaning and... oh, there's a truck in the background. Fuck this!
twista331
In Soviet Russia, you don't dance around the fire. You stand around it with long faces, hoping for something cool, like an explosion, to happen.
racedogg2
"Damnit, we haven't summoned Rogarth yet. What's wrong?" "Hey, Mary's got on an orange hood on! GET HER!"
Julius_Goat
OK, for a joint THAT big? I'll stand in a long-ass line and wear whatever uniform you like.
Brett-Butler
Unfortunately, not all of life's problems can be solved with The Safety Dance.
Julius_Goat
Some people LARP, some do Civil War reinactments, others do a live-action versions of the game "Lemmings"
Julius_Goat
I see the Teabaggers have leaped past McCarthyism and are now all the way back to the Salem Witch Trials.
Kamikaze Phoenix
After all of the "cursed" furniture was burned up, the townswomen hoped the fatness and dumpiness would also soon go.
Kamikaze Phoenix
After fearing things like cannibalism or hillbilly rape, Fred found out there were worse problems. Like being burned alive for insulting their headscarves. After he was thoroughly roasted, the cannibalism and hillbilly rape would begin.
Julius_Goat
And the president says the Republicans have no alternative plan for health care!
Renfield7
Swing yer partner a little higher, toss her 'round and throw her in the fire! Dosey doe...
racedogg2
"And so, great Raashka, we ask for you to come and..." "Hey guys, I'm feeling a little dizzy in this circle." "Oh for the love of Agneraz, who invited him?"
Brett-Butler
This is the gypsy ritual for warding off the evil spirits that get too much hair stuck in the hairbrush. Next week, the evil spirits that get your headphones tied in a knot.
Luigifan
Druids aren't very well understood, perhaps because they burn any scientists within 10 yards of them in their evil rituals.
Julius_Goat
Russians, having no Independence Day, have much lower-caliber pyrotechnics on July 4.
Hrad2Spel
Proof that no matter how many women you get to screw in a lightbulb, they'll always fuck it up.
librarianmike
When I did a Google search for 'hot picture daisy chain virgins', this isn't quite what I expected...
Celes.meh
After watching twilight the had decided that burning the vampire would not only destroy its evil, but the sparkle would provide fireworks
Brett-Butler
For the Atheist Amish Brigade, this is about as close to hell as they're ever gonna get.
HUMLY
The sound production for the Horsecart Boyz left a lot to be desired, but the pyrotechnics were awesome!
geniuswaitress
"So, any of you ladies wanna ditch this shit and go find a party? Anybody?...?"
Blinker_Fluid
If I were a rich man I could marry off all my fat, ugly daughters. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
bcanders
It's like that time, in that movie when Nicholas Cage got burnt alive at the end. Yeah, that was great.
krazyduck
Somewhere, at this very moment, Nicholas Cage, in a bear suit, is valiantly punching a woman in the face.
Celes.meh
when the stars of twilight went to visit their more obscure fans, they realized not everyone liked vampires...
Brett-Butler
Obviously the Amish have learned a lot from the Northern Irish about bonfires.
bdadz
Just as conservatives feared, once Obama legalized marijuana mass smokings became an everyday phenomenon.
Luigifan
The Girl Scouts are much less adept at making bonfires than the Boy Scouts, with one big exception - they're great at telling creepy-as-fuck campfire stories.
Vinz_Clortho
No one but the humble townspeople ever knew the horrifying end of Bulwinkle
Luigifan
The reaction of Druids to unfamiliar things can be summed up with four words - "KILL IT WITH FIRE."
Sterchulius
ring around the rosey, pocket full of posies, ashes, ah shit who set chuck on fire again?
momoy
Did you bring the marshmallow? No, I brought the graham cracker. I though you were supposed to bring the marshmallow?
AaronEves
Oh no, Alexandria got a hold of the cloning booth, my house keys, all my favorite shit and some matches!!!
TromeoQue
There are some places where you simply shouldn't admit to liking Michael Moore.
Renfield7
In about 5 minutes they're going to crank up Quiet Riot and this will be the sickest mosh pit ever!
Monkeynuts
As the queue for the BBQ got longer, Frank couldn't help think that the sausages might be a little over-done.
CamarilloBrillo
Steve started to regret accepting the invitation to party with ALL his ex-girlfriends...
NappyNap
The invention of the conveyor belt greatly sped up the process of witch burning.
Daws510
oh sure its all chanting and smoke inhalation now..but was it worth the shortage of floral tablecloths?
LikesTacos
I know you said there would be a lot of single chicks at this party, but this isn't what I had in mind.
hellknight
FIFTEEN MINUTES,NOT FIFTY!!!!GODDAMNIT CAN'T YOU EVEN COOK A FUCKING BEAR??!?!?
Delph
Heav'n hath no rage, like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
ceallen92elvis
Fed up with Mormonism, the Smith wives decided to gang up and burn Mr. Smith
CaptainDildo
Erik the Red's lesser-known brother, Steve the Red, didn't have a very impressive Viking funeral.
Captain192
So, wait, the funeral pyre boat is supposed to be on fire AND in the water? Well...damn.
Brett-Butler
Rudolph the Red Nosed Raindeer...was burned to death by the Amish for practicing witchcraft.
Luigifan
The druidic rituals have begun. Soon, darkness will engulf the world of Fabbun-Dunior.
twista331
Dimitri was a great man, unfortunately the revolution caught up with him and burnt him, and his kiddie pool, to ash.
freerangex
And all the Babushkas gathered to burn alive the man who made the first Babushka doll
Faceplant
As the flames got out of control, the gypsies were very relieved that most of them wore their fire-retardant doo-rags to the bonfire.
Lennyjaycor
Yodeling the songs of their Austrian childhood around a fire containing humans.. I see nothing wrong here.
Vinz_Clortho
Originally the tradition called for naked dancing... but we're all out of eyebleach this year
Fontaine
"This fire is out of control, I'm gonna burn this city" "Shut up Dave theres no city now make your damn smore"
CamarilloBrillo
And twice annually, the women of Bavaria would practice lighting a bonfire via the medium of 'group-scorn'
LikesTacos
This is the scene from Wicker Man where they burn Nicholas Cage alive. I love this scene.
Delph
Seriously? Basically the same craption won two days in a row? Come on, fucking hell people.
Nomad73
It was at this very moment,everybody regretted letting ol'Blind Margaret work the Hibachi
Most_Inane_Uno
According to the established rap artist Snoop Dog, "Bitch don't do shit but burn twigs and sticks."
Luigifan
Caution to those who stumble upon a Druidic settlement - don't be surprised to become the centerpiece of their rituals. Or, to put it more bluntly, the guy getting charbroiled.
twista331
If you look really closely, you'll realize that all of these posers are in fact men, and used the method illustrated in the previous craption to become more feminine.
Vinz_Clortho
the parents of Oak St had finally destroyed the evil that had devoured their children, but before it died a surreal cry came from the blaze that would haunt them: "Only you can prevent wildfires!"
Redway
Fuck e-mail or phone lines, we'll show our neighboring city how bad-ass we are by communicating with smoke signals!
Vinz_Clortho
Hey don't criticize me man, How much action do you get on a Saturday night?
keithrogan
Contestants for the "Miss Muslim USA" contest queue up for the noon falafel break.
aliceuh
...and this is what happens when you have multiple ex wives. you come home to this.
russki99
"I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight I've never seen you so easily catch alight, Ladyyyyyy in REHHHHHHHHD!
J_E_Fitzgerald
you know, if you could make a little repeating gif of someone getting kicked in the nuts be your submission, it would win. for a week solid I expect.
niko4ever
Nothing like dancing a kolo around a bonfire... First one to make fun of my culture gets it. I'm not kidding.
jakflak
The critics have determined that Fox is really scraping the bottom of the barrel with their new reality show: "Gypsy Pyromaniacs"
typoqueen
This is actually a traditional Russian holiday where they burn tires to symbolize burning evil in the form of a witch. LOOK IT UP, I'M NOT KIDDING.
mootpoint
Every year the villagers were left with the choice of watching the bush burn for one night or reading internet comedy for the whole year, and every year, each of them knew the right choice had been made.
Stendac
"And now on to other, more successful space programs. Today NASA announced a plans for a new-"
paulg
the annual "Beavis and Butt-Head- how to make a cool fire" convention had the best fire ever in a long time. Mary wins the annual Cornholio award.
Solly23
"Fire" was formely knwon as F*ck the misinterpretation happened due to people running away screaming F**k as they're housing were burining down.
LikesTacos
M. Night Shamaylans The Village 2 lost the quaint, parochial feel of the original.
LikesTacos
There all in for a big let down because that idiot Cindy forgot the damn marshmellows again.
LikesTacos
The fire is actually the most interesting part of this collonial days reenactment.
MCRrox
either this what was really happening on the left or else it a really bad arsonists meeting
failatlife
Here you can see that Gypsies burn their old technology. Move over Carriage, hello model-T!
MattBlack
I don't care what anyone says, this is STILL more entertaining than Nicholas Cage's "The Wicker Man".
ZananIV
The town is now fully protected from the awakening evil fire spirit. So long as I get too stand over there, and all the women who turned me down stand over there.
ZananIV
In line for the sale of the Itouch, some people decided to camp the traditional way.
Lihiro
The yearly protest from cCovens United symbolising the burning and destruction of forests, and how very, very wrong it is.
ZananIV
Mormon Star Wars Convention Goers were sad when the Ewok's home got burnt to the ground.
ZananIV
The origins of the Hokey-Pokey, next on the discovery channel. After Apocalypse UFOS: The Da Vinci Dynasty.
ZananIV
Hive-minded tourists are all alike, huh Jane? Those women are all alike, huh Joe?
BrokenHilt
The Bloods order to burn some bitches was lost in translation to the Ukrainian chapter.
ZigZagWanderer
This is how the white and elderly chapter of the Bloods prepare a good ol' fashion BBQ.
dr.phil
The unprovoked burning of another persons belongings is a family afair in some parts of russia.
smoochy
Line Them up in order of Cleanliness. I'll Do them in descending order. Gee, it's great to be King.
DeaconJericho
The Russian Orthodox picnic got taken up a notch when the Rastafarians arrived.
PenguinDoomsday
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.. hey wtf when did grandpa turn into a ball of hay?
Nomad73
Ok Listen Up!...To prove you wanna be a Blood,you gotta run through that burning stuff.With me so far?
itsmejesus
See fellow villagers, I have given you fire as promised. Now we can cook our meats and....OK, who's cell phone is ringing?
georgeleyland
The last of the 13 Warriors is farewell-ed in true Viking fashion. Even though he rode a small horse and happened to be an Arab.
C-12
If the Jehova's Witnesses did this kind of thing, I might actually be interested in them.
mikeyhorror
As they soon found out, Wickerman-con wasn't nearly worth the 50 bucks they paid for the ticket.
87gn
Between the Red Hat Society and the Sisterhood of the Brown Skirts, I'll go with the old broads in red hats. The seem a lot less demonized.
wqerffwas
In the days of old, twigs and branches lived in fear of the dreaded red-bandana cult
blakellis2
HA! Finally!! I see him.. there's Waldo! HA Unbelievable I found Waldo! Hey Mom I....
gable_eperrgon
"When somebody requests a viking memorial service, everybody respects the decision."
backlippy777
Excuse me, I'm gonna let you finish in a minute, but the KKK has the best rallies of all time.
dungeonmaster11
Still, this is a better interpretation of The Wicker Man than the re-make.
Garganzo
This is not the virgins I was told I would have if I blew myself up. Am I in Hell!?
Jeromeru17
Santa never forgave the Amish after acusing him of witchcraft and burning his sleigh
nicoleredz3
Yes, this must mean she's not a witch! Ok, so much for burn first, ask questions later...
jammalam1A
They shot seven different endings to the remake of "The Wicker Man." This was the G-rated one.
erob3131
Here we see the Iowa gang chapter of the "Bloods" burning some Witches "Cus dats wat we do!," eclaimed one gang member.
kcs316
"The 2009 Annual Kurdish Genocide festival kicked off this weekend with it's traditional burning of the celebrants posessions.
DarthDad
Once they realized they were all dating the same guy..."burning Love" took on a new meaning.
estoppel
"Old people burning. Old people burning. Put your hands up." No? Jon Lajoie, you fucking liar.
WaterRocket
The California Wildfire Control Commission testing their "send the women in first" strategy.
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