Other Craptions

NEVER tell your dyslexic parents you want to sit in Santa's lap.

...and out of an unholy union such as this, Hannah Montana was born.

Okay OKAY! I will suck it already. But let me find it first.

"Stay the fuck away from Red Bull. Those ads don't lie."

I just don't see this working out. I mean, I'm horrifying monster who haunts children's nightmares, and you're wearing that ridiculous costume.

Why you scared? Is it because I'm black?

Have you ever heard of the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ??

Will haunt your dreams for food

And then the Paladin said, "That's not my horse, that's my wife!"

The grates of hell.

The day Sally quit the shoeshine business.

Hey there, could you spare a soul for a homeless veteran of the hellfire wars?

Beelzebroke

Don't give it money. It will just blow it on puppies

Have you ever danced with the devil at the corner of Third and Main?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Pigeon

"I AM THE GOD OF ALL HELLFIRE AND- um... hey, stop ignoring me!

John Carpenter's Sesame Street

Why do hot chicks always date assholes?

Look out Gargoyle! She's right in front of you!

Finally, after eight years, the spell cast over Dick Cheney finally wore off.

I can't believe you dropped the engagement ring, this is the worse thing you ever did!

Lost your contact lens? I can get it for you...FOR YOUR SOUL

Hey! Hey! my eyes are up here!

This is embarrassing, but I was supposed to turn to stone six hours ago...

And here's a coupon for free psychotherapy.

Kneel before Odd!

Oops, I lost my virginity. Oh wait, there it is!

"...because I'd rather be in hell than 'just a friend'"

In a modern world of slick, glass skyscrapers, many once proud Gargoyles are forced to panhandle for pocket change

Well, as a matter of fact, you don't look like your profile pic at all.

Want to join me in the Mile Deep Club?

Step on a crack, break your mother's back, and damn her for all enternity!!!

Don't give him any money, he's just going to spend it cthulucane.

When "Sex and the City" films on location, extras are under strict instructions not to look Sarah Jessica Parker in the eye.

Larry King reveals his true form

what are you talking about, "chicken legs"?!

excuse me, i seemed to have dropped my 30 sided die. could you get that for me?

Stupid crow wearing high heels over the vent... Let me help

Despite her best efforts to look like a Native New Yorker, Princess Nal Farna Hasme gave herself away by being more fascinated by the train moving under her feet than the gargoyle walking towards her.

Gargoyles! ... pretty much my favorite mythological beast!

Candy, little girl?

NO, dude, I do NOT want to contribute to the United Necronomicon College Fund.

Hey, I'm free after the apocalypse if you'd like to meet for coffee.

I like your shorts, do you happen to know where I could find some in my size?

The Vent Gargoyle never really took off as a PSA mascot.

Best pickup line ever: "You think THOSE are long..."

How Democrats see Republicans.

True Blood jumps the shark