Other Craptions

With the crack wearing off, James found himself with a lot of questions, but no answers.

I see a Darwin Award in this guy's near future...

A naked guy selling fireworks next to a gas station? What could possibly go wrong?

The judge ordered Larry to 500 hours of community service, educating the public on his fireworms STD.

You think that's bad? Drive one block over and check out the girl advertising the oyster bar.

Until today, the ladies never believed Carl when he told them they'd "have a blast in his pants."

Thirty minutes later, the famous phrase "Hold my beer and watch this!" was uttered.

I'm a little hesitant to ask that gas attendant to "fill 'er up"

Not pictured: Sign on his back says "Free Gas"

It could be worse; he could be trying to wash your windows.

Dear Lord, I hope other people's prices are the only thing he beats...

I'm glad Larry the Cable Guy found work after "Git R Done" wore out...

Just reach in and grab all you want.

Mark loved his hat. He felt naked without it.

Can't tell which idea is worse. Selling fireworks near a gas station or selling fireworks naked...near a gas station.

Ever consider, I don't know, putting up an ad in the newspaper?

At that moment, Ted remembered that he had left home without remembering to empty his browser cache...or to put his pants back on.

Fine Print:"Known to go off early"

Sunglasses AND a hat? Just seems redundant. Wait, what were you staring at him for?

"Fireworks," the pedophile thought. "Kids LOVE Fireworks!"

This is someone's dad.

The sad part is, this guy probably has more of a life than the people who write and read these craptions.

Hi, I'm Bob, I'm a pyrophile.

You got to ask yourself; One hand is holding a car, the other on his hat. How is he holding up that sign?

When Bob realised that his chest wasn't attracting many costumers. He resorted to sunglasses.

At least we finally have an american getting a job.

HA HA...dangly parts

Firewood is over there... The other kind of wood is what's holding up the sign.

I think he's saying that there'll be fireworks if you get into a threesome with him and his car

Remember Dave, if they become enraged at the gas prices - offer to do squat thrusts

His stunt drew a record number of police and fire officials, but few stayed to buy fireworks.

Fireworks for sale, right next to the gas pump!!!! "Bitch-tits-Bill" was a marketing genious!!

With all the other competition behind him, Bob needed a way to make sure his fireworks stood out.

Here at Exxon, we believe in involving our community

Gay club advertisements are always the most creative.

Oddly enough, the sale of firworks stayed about the same, but the sale of carwashes skyrocketed.

What else are you gonna do when you're too drunk to fish?

If he asks you if you want to see how he fires off bottle rockets, just say no.

He took it the wrong way when his girlfriend compared his dick to a bottle rocket.

"If this doesn't clear out the gas station, nothing will."

"Yeah, and it was awesome! I was being checked out by some chicks and kept getting honked at. Eventually the cops came and joined in." "Jim, you think that's why your in county jail right now?"

Derek, while on his usual run to the gas station to pick up beer and pant-signs, has the strangest feeling. Like he's being watched.

Hitchhiking to the dry cleaners naked... not the best idea.

Never before has a 'Cardboard Only' sign held such terrifying implications.

The recession has hit lumberjacks as hard as anyone else.

Yet another lame excuse for ladies to look at his firewood.

When his girlfriend told him what he was like in bed, he didn't realize she meant "over in 2 seconds and not worth the wait."

Fireworks + Gas Station. Yeah, I'm getting the f#@$ outta here.

Fireworksman quickly throws on his mask disguise, concealing his identity