Other Craptions

Spider Dad, Spider Dad, saves the day every other weekend.

"Of course there is candy in his van. Spiderman wouldn't lie."

Spiderman regretted hooking up with Mary Jane on that fateful night 7 years ago...

Along with great power comes parental responsibilities.

If there is a God, he's carrying what's left of Kirsten Dunst in there.

I don't care how many "best costume" awards you win at ComiCon, waiting for your mom to pick you up after is always embarassing.

He has a Peter Parker costume in that bag.

Spider Man-Boy Love Association

Everybody gets one

Laundry day was always awkward for Peter Parker.

Hey kid, wanna see my web shooter?

Most. Awesome. Bank heist. Ever.

"The last kid who wore my glove is in this duffle bag."

Spiderman 4 looks disapointing

"Take Your Child To Work Day" is always a pain, but for superheroes it hits a whole new level.

"Mary Jane is not my lover... She's just a girl who claims that I am the one. But the kid's got my glove..."

Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a middle aged dad can.

"If I was Batman, you'd think twice about snatching my damn glove."

This is why Superman works alone.

My pedo sense is tingling.

See, this is why Batman got himself that pimp ass car.

On Opposite Day Spiderman hides his true identity of Peter Parker.

Killing the Sandman was easy... hiding the body... a little more difficult.

As Peter Parker walked an embarassing two blocks to the dry cleaner's he made himself a promise: never again would he procrastinate until he had only one clean outfit left.

why does almost every picture have a phedophile joke in there some where?

Here we see Spiderman sneaking up on a young boy and his mother, so he can smack them both in the head with his fucking duffel bag.

Spiderman always regretted moving to a city with building height restrictions.

You think this is bad? Imagine what the Hulk's son's arm is like.

Spiderkid. Spiderkid. Does whatever a spiderkid does. Hails a cab - pays in cash. Helps his dad - hide his stash. Look out! There goes the Spiderkid!

In other countries, slinging webs has a different meaning

That boy's hand is no longer a virgin

I think this bag of cocaine is enough of a payment to get my hand back.

Needless to say, Mary Jane was not too happy about finding Spidey playing with Cat Woman's pussy.

"Batman never has to put up with shit like this."

My Guardian Angel can kick your Guardian Angels ASS!

Try as he might to put it out of his mind, Spiderman couldn't help but wonder if Mary Jane was lying about not having that affair with Carnage.

In the deleted scene from Spiderman 2, the webslinger is blackmailed by one of the passengers on the L-train.

If you know what to look for, you can spot Peter Parker's illegitimate children all over town.

Hmmm...I wonder if I can get one more kid in this duffle bag. Maybe if I break his legs...

Spidey sought to eliminate all imposters..by stuffing them in duffelbags one at a time

Rachel Ray lost 34 pounds on low-cal bullshit.

I appreciate that you want to transport your dead hooker-in-a-bag anonomously, I'm just saying your disguise looks TOO MUCH like a disguise.

Some superheroes are known for their cunning and ability to blend in to their surroundings ... Spiderman was no exception.

Strangely, little Billy was only embarrassed to be seen in public with ONE of his parents.

I can't believe this kid wants a bag full of Mary Jane as ransom.

... and Spiderman got custody of Blanket

"Now everyone's going to know I fisted Spiderman!"

With a family now, Spiderman's swinging days were over.

Spidermolester VS. Hellboy