Other Craptions

So now that you've escaped Lindsay Lohan's vagina, what are your plans?

Hold up, Bitch. What do you mean by "YOU PEOPLE"?

They won't get off the stage. They're being shellfish.

The signing day for 2009's premier bukkake porno: "The Little Spermaid"

The town hall meetings on health care reform get a little wierd.

Fuck you bitch, it's no dumber than that headband you are wearing.

"We'd like to thank God for this victory. WE LOVE YOU, NEPTUNE!"

Today on The Deadliest Catch

"You have no idea how offensive 'Sea Monkey' is - we prefer the term 'Aquatic American'."

Mock Lobsters

I, for one, welcome our new crustacean overlords.

District 10

#28 was the favorite to win, but then they asked him about gay marriage.

Avatar looks somewhat underwhelming

Some small part of me wants to see him try and hold the mic himself.

It's not a boner, it's an exoskeleton

seconds later, he disemboweled her alive, yelling DON'T WORRY, SHE'S NOT SCREAMING, IT'S JUST THE AIR ESCAPING

Yes ma'am, we understand you apoligize for the whole boiling thing. You're still fucked.

The girls of Theta Pi aren't afraid of crabs

Actually assholes we are Red Ants

At Red Lobster, you can now interview your lobster before choosing him from the tank.

Why are there so many people here with bibs and forks? I was told we were going to be enjoying a nice soak in the hot tub.

How the fuck did this actually draw a crowd?!?

Fuck, I'm never eating at a Red Lobster again.

So, can we pinch your nipples?

Oh sure, he gets to do the interview just because he's the Maine Lobster...

Im a man in a lobster suit, the fuck does it look like?

The British Invasion brought us the Beetles. The Japanese Invasion was, of course, more bizarre.

The Blue Man Group has nothing to worry about here ...

Cooking on acid is FUN!!

The Grapes of Wrath 2: Now Bigger and Wrathier

My name is Tom, and I enjoy swimming. My main requirement in a woman is that she's not clawstrophobic.

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

None of these guys won Mr. Congeniality... they were all too CRABBY! Get it? Crabby? Ah, fuck it, just vote for the craption making the gay joke...

Oh god! They learned how to remove the rubber bands!!!

I don't care what you ask them. Just keep them busy until the garlic bread is ready!

Once again one of the dumber craptions gets picked because cracked readers vote for the first one they see

"Suck it, Red Lobster!"

Ariel?? What the fuck happened to YOU?!?!

Did you seriously just ask me if I support seafood restaurants?

Today on Springer: cheating lobsters and the women who love them

I said we would look cool if we dressed like MOBSTERS!

"Then I realized I wasn't wearing any pants. Boy was my face red."

"Whaddya mean, 'Lobsterfest' is just a restaurant promotion?!"

Our next bachelor wants the ladies to know he's no shrimp in bed.

"Spring Bake!!! WOOOO!!!!"

"First thoughts, Mr. Krzgbn?" "We traveled 28 light-years to get here, and they wouldn't even validate our parking!"

Geico is running out of ideas.

Rock Lobster!