Craptions Classics August 18, 2009

Statutory rape

Simerc

Other Craptions

And thus the true origin story of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is told.

DerWaffleHaus

I win wars. I build entire cities. But I FUCK ONE TURTLE and this is the statue I get!

Zounds!

Aquaman finally snapped.

Well, what do you expect, wearing such a slutty shell?

BowToTheBard

Well, the turtle soup was the creamiest I've ever tasted. What's your secret?

dpollok

this is how mermAIDS started

tomjenkins

Fed up with the Ninja Turtles, Shredder decides to take his revenge on their mother.

Oh that silly Greek god Sodomite, what will you be up to next?

Truthiness

Slow and steady wins the... oh yeah... race.

reverendbayn

Hes going to come out of his shell.

Bluth

Never before has the sodomy of the majestic sea turtle been so perfectly captured in the art world.

Jeff Kelly

Someone, somewhere, just named their band "Turtlebone".

jtklove

What an idiot. You can't give a good back massage without some oils.

After the attack was over, it took the turtle three and a half hours to run away.

ChaseMitchell
Choosing to "Like" Cracked has no side effects, so what's the worst that could happen?

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