Other Craptions

Boy, what happens when you win the MASSIVE LOTO?

Mighty Morphin' Tax Accountants!

I know that I can't read Japanese, but I seriously doubt that the red arrow contains an explanation that would be considered anywhere near satisfactory.

Japan's worst selling porno of all time.

If I don't see 21 naked geisha and a tentacle monster, I'm simply not interested in what your selling.

The next step in the sequence is this guy inside a giant squid's anus.

You can buy a costume and eat huge meals with your winnings, but you will still be eating them alone.

Tonight, on E! Hollywood Story...Power Rangers! Where are they today?

If I won the lottery, I'd buy a fucking fork!!

Yeah, it turns you into a superhero badass. But it also causes anal leakage. So I guess it's up to you to decide if it's worth it. Before you choose, look at those two words again: ANAL LEAKAGE.

In Japan, even the suicidal office worker is more badass than you. Go ahead, feel terrible about yourself.

From Zero to Hero...Just like that!

....but, that helmet doesn't have a mouth hole...

Winning the loto doesn't change you, except ....

"Mini Loto" is Japanese for Ecstacy. So that basically explains everything.

Winning the MiniLOTO will transform you into an asshole!

It gives you the superhuman ability to go from a cafeteria, to a cafeteria that sparkles.

Secret Asian Man?

On the left, quiet desperation. On the right, full-on, noisy desperation.

Harimoto hated his twin brother and his goddamned luck.

The terrorists may hate our freedom, but the Japanese clearly hate our sanity.

This explains a lot about my recent calls to tech support.

"Aw, shit! My helmet doesn't have a mouth opening!"

MSG stands for Makes Stuff Great!

It's in the world's top five lotteries that pay in sushi and Halloween costumes.

Don't order the Shazam special!

With our service, you too could be transformed into a successful cosplayer, bringing you that much closer to the brink of insanity.

Apparently it's not just the vampires out of Twilight that are gay and sparkle...

If this is the Mini Loto, I REALLY want a taste of that Medium Loto!

THAT'S IT! I'M MOVING TO JAPAN!

All it takes is a dollar and a dream.

"Bob, what hell are you doing showing up to work dressed like a power ranger and eating lobster? You think this if funny? I'm sick of your shit, you're fired!

That is some Mighty boring Morphing there.

Some people just shouldn't win the lottery...

Don't let the implied translation fool you. MiniLOTO is a hallucinogen.

Japanese Extendz advertisement.

But which is the "Before" and which is the "After"?

On the left is what its actually like in Japan, on the right is what the rest of the world thinks its like in Japan.

My fortune cookie said, "With great power comes great responsibility." What the hell does that mean?

Mini Loto! Even if you win, you are still a loser.

I don't know what it is, but what the hell. I'll take five.

You too can become Ultraman if you eat Uncle Kim's Rice!

Anyone else notice that he's still all alone in the "winner" picture?

Recruitment poster for the Japanese military.

I am skeptical about this new stimulus package.

Interesting choice. Most people who win spend the money on penile implants.

I would have preferred a cash prize, but this suit is flashy and the lobster isn't bad...

Win lottery! Go from working at desk 16 hours a day to working at desk 16 hours a day with more food and fancy man costume!

Message in the arrow: Let your freak flag fly!