Other Craptions

"Captain's log, Stardate Supplemental: I'm going through my box of Riker parts and can't decide if I want him with a beard today or not."

Shortly after Barbie's arrest, detectives discovered a ghastly scene beneath the floorboards of her Beverly Hills mansion.

I didn't believe her when she said she could fit 12 guys in her box.

The box with all of the male bodies was recovered in Michael Jackson's closet.

Everyone tried to avoid eye contact, but deep down they knew their bodies were engaged in homosexual poses.

My First Guillotine, new from Hasbro.

"I'm Billy Mays" "NO! I'm Billy Mays" "Wait! I'm Billy Mays" "SCREW YOU! I'm Billy Mays!"

... needless to say, the date ended awkwardly.

Gulliver kept a few mementos...

Step 1: Cut a hole in a box. Step 2: Put your GI Joe heads in that box. Step 3: Make her open the box.

Dick Cheney's hope chest.

Deliver this box for me... but I'm warning you... If you drop it, heads will roll!!

"Mama said life was like a box of -- OH MY FUCKING SWEET CREEPING GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT????"

"I'd try one, but I hate ending up with one of those fruit-flavored cream centers."

All the head you could ever want is right in this box.

"OK, who just flicked me in the back of the head? I'm not even mad -- I just wanna know how you did it."

"Hey there neighbor. Working hard or hardly working?" "Shut the fuck up Carl."

Al Gore's replacement heads.

It's nice to be able to get a little head whenever you want it...

How embarrasing, I show up to the party wearing the same beard as this asshole.

G.I. No!!

Well, we're in quite a predicament, gentlemen. But I'm a firm believer that if life gives you lemons, then make lemonade. So let's go around the box and introduce ourselves. I'm Larry...

The Horseless Headmen aren't nearly as terrifying.

I come to America to see melting pot, but it horrible!

Muslims and their silly decapitation toys.

When being a brunette is the same as wearing a red shirt.

The creepy thing isn't that I have a box of tiny heads. The creepy thing is that I have to keep shaving them!!

Barbie's horrible secret was discovered when they excavated the basement of the Malibu Dream House.

Richard Simmon's Suppositories

"We should never have bought that Dahmer action figure."

I guess I should have thought more carefully before wishing for "an endless supply of head."

Who farted?

I am voting for all of the "Julius_Goat sucks" captions.

KKK party favors

Three minutes ago, they were up some guy's ass at LAX.

Look what you did Destro! This is why we can't have nice things!

Meh. I've had worse Valentine's Days.

10 packy's for a fiver

Old ladies always have the grossest candy dishes.

Things turned violent when the Lollipop Guild was overthrown...

Jacks in the Box!

If anyone finds out about this, heads will roll.

Guantanamo Bay storage closet.

The Mafia put out a hit on the Apostles.

"It's not so bad, Raoul, at least we get to see Genius Waitress' underpants from time to time"

Ah, my afro-disiacs have arrived!!!

Oh good, my heads are here. Now I can decorate for Bastille Day.

I lose absolutely everything... I swear I'd lose my head if it wasn't stored safely in a box with a variety of other heads...

Iraq is working hard on merchandising the Million-Dinar Man franchise.