Other Craptions

Fortune says, "You are a pedophile"

Michael Jackson Rape Kit: $9.95

I'm not answering that question, this is a set-up if I ever saw one.

They put this thing in the teacher's lounge. If you play it, you're fired.

Apparently it's the fucking heebie jeebies.

In the original ending of Big, the kid suffered a much creepier fate.

Look...it's SpicyNutCheese's dream machine, minus the workable penis.

In case of priest attack, break glass.

My eyes are up here, mister! Reading a question? Yeah right, help! Police!

Papier mache, obviously.

Finding the answer to that question was Michael Jackson's life-long quest.

It runs on Michael Jackson jokes.

this is the creepiest eye-test I've done in a while...

They're made of people!...People!

Is that a coin return, or are you just happy to see me?

Huh, I've never seen the inside of a confessional booth before.

Fortune Returned: Help! I am being held captive in this freaking nut house. Lucky numbers: 6, 13, 19, 33, 34, 43

I thought it was a fortune teller, but when I put in a quarter it just gave me directions to some mound of dirt in the woods.

Yahoo! Answers - I found a servered torso in a box. Can someone tell me what little boys are made of?

I fucking hate judging science fairs in California.

And here I thought that the vagina was the box little boys came in.

Neverland Tollbooth

Where's Chris Hansen hiding?

...because I know they have a head and torso. I just can't think of what comes after that.

Instructions say: Insert quarter, receive 5 to 15 and a bunk buddy named Butch.

The Nintendo "Seal of Quality" means nothing these days. NOTHING!

I don't want to know. Now I'm scared.

A: Sawdust, wax, and a half a little boy skeleton.

He's baaaaaaa-ack!

The Red Light District for pedophiles.

Exibit 23 in the last Michael Jackson trial.

When you put a quarter in the girl version, it gives you candy. When you put a quarter in this one, it gives you an electric shock and farts in your face.

TILT!!!

Cracked didn't have the balls to post this photo on the day Michael Jackson died

Ah, the joys of the inevitable "where do I put my dick" joke will curdle today . . .

Wow. The vending machines where I come from only have potato chips and candy bars.

2 ugly fucking parents

Not pictured: John Wayne Gacy with a roll of quarters.

That's why we haven't seen Haley Joel Osmont in a while.

Saw VI: Neverland

This is why I never have enough change to do my laundry.....

Looks to me like the answer is 'too many chromosomes.'

Tom Hanks, obviously.

I DARE you to insert your quarter

Go ask your mother. Can't you see I'm trying to write funny Craptions.

Figures.... We have 2.5 children and the only one making any damn money is the half-a-kid....

If you insert two quarters and turn the knob, you can hear the screams from all the souls this demon spawn has devoured. It's quite a bargain, really.

The look on your neighbor's face: priceless.

If you gotta stick something in that slot, I'd say that you didn't have a little boy