Other Craptions

I for one welcome our Giant and comically unsteady overlords

And that’s how I met your mother.

Uncle Sam is cool, but Auntie EU just looks stupid.

The two things America does best: patriotism and hookers

Does it count as flag burning if that guy hits the power line and starts on fire?

Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?

Proof that all Uncle Sam ever wanted was for Americans to get as high as possible.

America: Home of the free and land of the completely retarded

America did so well in the nuclear arms race, and were looking to repeat in the legs race.

The wanted Uncle Sam to give a speech but his words were a little stilted.

This isn't how I remember them teaching the American Revolution in junior year history...

Joe Biden's recollection of the Revolutionary War.

Don't you hate it when your wife and mistress show up at the same party?

Go Go Gadget PATRIOTISM!!!

Hey Liberty, tell Enviro Slut to find her own parade. We don't crash Earth Day so the least she could do is show some respect.

"Give me liberty or....on second thought, just give me death anyway".

Is it just me, or do the Presidential debates seem more like a circus as time goes on?

HONK HONK! "Hey, assholes! You may have the right to freedom, but not to the whole damn freeway!"

Bitten by a radioactive Abe Lincoln, the X-Patriots gained superhuman powers.

You can see my whole shame from up here.

"And I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm . . . at least . . . I hate myself."

And coming up on our left is Uncle Sam, Lady Liberty, and Erection Destroyer.

This just makes me wonder why their arms didn't grow.

It's Uncle Sam, Lady Liberty, Aunt Emancipation and barely visible in the background, Constitution Carl.

Another success story from Match.com!

If an idiotic man on stilts falls, and a lot of people are around to see it, does his shame make a sound?

Even ravers can be patriotic.

The congressional hearings on HGH use in the parade industry didn't garner quite as much attention.

Me want snu snu!!!!!!

For a small fee, the Statue of Liberty will let you climb up her robe for a nice view of "the harbor."

After looking at this, France decided it would be wise to surrender just in case.

Dorothy gets punk'd by Munchkins.

Wait a second! THOSE ARE FAKE LEGS!

Leave it to the our new giant overlords to march in the Independence Day parade.

I thought Retarded Jim couldn't possibly screw it up if all he needed to bring to the BBQ were a couple of tall ones.

Is the green one the Demon Queen of Eire?

Thanks TALL-SINGLES.com!

...and in the lead it's Uncle Sam followed by the Eco-Friendly the Giant. Don't count out Lady Liberty she seems to be making a comeback from the rear!

I want YOU... to catch me, cuz I'm totally gonna fall right now...

"Wow, I can see how far I've fallen from here."

Of course it's the goth giant that brought the E.

The whips aren't necessary. You're already much bigger than we are.

We're here! We're queer! We're on stilts!

Is it appropriate that Sam is doing the Hitler salute? I don't think so.

Not pictured: Yao Ming.

What kind of Michael Jackson tribute is this?

what the zapruder video didn't show you

TO SEE MORE OF "TALL JIM", GO TO MEGANSLAW.COM

And you thought cleaning up after the elephants was a dirty job.