Sev Squad
The Flying Spaghetti Monster's daughter was allot less subtle than Jesus was.
technobot
The female Wacky waily inflatable tube man will carry her young on her back until they are old enough to live in their own used car dealership.
Leaf
Some girls need mousse to keep their hair up. Others need gel. And a rare few need helium.
theamatuer
The tentacle transplant was more effective than wings, though it had its downsides
dandaman
"Hi, I'm Al Harrington, president and C.E.O. of Harrington's Wacky Waving Inflatable WTF-Flailing Tube Ladies!"
Fkelleghan
Now we finally know the woman whom all those incomprehensible signs were designed for.
Fkelleghan
I've tried washing it out, I've tried scrubbing it out, it still won't come off.
crhino
This years theme is a Tribute to Body Fluids...and here comes the mucus float....
divinecomedy33
"Wow! You look GREAT - have you lost weight?" "Yeah - actually it was caused by tapeworms...Wanna see?"
divinecomedy33
Court-mandated to participate in the annual STD Awareness Parade, Sarah would - for the SECOND year in a row - have to emulate Gonorrhea.
Gambler
The porn director Inbred Hitch-cock was happy with his chase scene for his remake of "The Birds".
Julius_Goat
"This is my 2nd most embarrassing job. During the week, I'm an investment banker."
Dude_Studley
The drivers foul mood stemmed primarily from knowing his insurance didn't cover alien jizm detailing
Gambler
No one but the dancing girl knew of the homophobic gunman hidden within. Just waiting...
HUMLY
You think it's weird now? Wait until the Shriners drive through in their little boat-shaped motorcycles.
JohnThePawn
In retrospect, the parade really didn't get across its intended message of racial diversity as well as had been hoped.
khutche
It was too late before the crowd realized they were being attacked by the cutest parasitic aliens rather than some retarded balloon puppets.
sticksandstones
"The Prell Corporation is proud to announce this morning's merger with the Rogaine brand..."
Jeepster
The Zapruder films when viewed frame by frame clearly shows Kennedy being shot by the driver.
Dunstin Checks Out
That's not what I thought she meant when she said she had to trim her bush.
BillWilliams
After college the only work in her field, biology, was growing french ticklers.
hoebox
Thank God, the truck load of condoms has arrived. Let the Penetration-of-a-Thousand-Vessels begin.
Leaf
The 'condom parade' is a popular way of informing your dad that you're sexually active.
Jaguaress
Sigmund the Seamonster executes his escape during the parade, thinking no one will notice.
bloodydawn5522
The anti-rape back pack in the deployment stage. Next the rapist is ensnared for 10-20 minutes, you better run before its done with him, though.
Nightpath
And I thought the original Stephen King's "The Langoliers" was pretty fuckin cheap...
Leaf
You know, if the first balloon doesn't cheer you up, the 90th one probably isn't going to, either...
Leaf
These people look depressed. You know, if the first balloon doesn't cheer you up then the 90th one probably isn't going to, either...
LetsPlayClowns
"Jose I don't want to hear it, you only have to drive two blocks to get to work. There is ABSOLUTELY no fathomable reason for you to be an hour and a half late."
WarrenGHarding
Wolverine gets healing powers and claws, Storm controls the weather. Me? I was born a balloon magnet.
benrichardsrm
"Wacky waving inflatable, arm flailing tube girls! Wacky waving inflatable, arm flailing tube girls! Wacky waving inflatable, arm flailing tube girls!"
JasonF
This is the only time the flamboyant pink-glittering belly dancer will be the second thing you notice.
sarebroman
Too lame to kill Medusa's lesser known cousin is the last of the gorgons, she now works at carnival never making eye contact.
Artichoke
The lesser known cousin of Medusa. If you look into her eyes, you turn to moldy cheese.
Blackwolf1989
Hey, Cthulhu? Remember when I told you I had big news? I'd like you to meet your daugh...son.... uh, offspring.
PerceptorPrime
The Sexually Transmitted Diseases you get from banging a clown are no laughing matter.
SamuraiMujuru
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh C'thulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! I'a I'a Cthulhu fhtagn!
aaroni
The only saving required at an event such as this is the souls of all those who have witnessed it.
Milkman
"I told you Bob, you let one of 'em take a ride and pretty soon they all want one!"
Zaphod
Due to her forgetting to feed her giant Anenome before the parade, it was forced to feed on the girls behind her
satur92002
The fact that they got all this crap from Aldo Accessories is what really amazes me.
BillWilliams
I want to thank you 5 guys who voted for my last Craption. It was the most I I want to thank you 5 guys who voted for my last Craption. It was the most ever.
crhino
as long as you have all been practicing your blowing skills you can get on the truck
Dr.Pepper
DRIVER TO BALLOON WOMAN: "You have some "mild swelling" on your back. Get it? Mild swell...ah f**k you! I don't have to make you laugh!"
hvymtalmachine
After years of searching, Dr. Octopus found the perfect woman - Madame Medusa. Now, to kill SpiderMan!
dandaman
2:59:59 EST: "Type, my minions, type! Hit F4 and prepare to bask in glorious mediocrity!"
googboog
Too many people asked the question "Where do I put my dick". Well, now you know
crhino
god visual aids help so much.....so you don't want to fuck the greens ones or you'll get itchy..got it!
Dude_Studley
no matter how elaborate the ploy, it's still very hard in this day and age for peruvians to hail a cab on a regular basis
topcatyo
"We need a clown that can do balloon animals. He's not an expert on it? Well, any experience will do, really..."
hvymtalmachine
Carl new the party would soon go down hill after the balloon artists he had hired could only make eels, anemones and snakes.
Dude_Studley
after the commercial break, House will subdue being a prick long enough to diagnose her condition
Sullyosis
Sure I can make you a balloon animal, little Timmy. Have you ever seen 'Species?'
CaptionDatAss
"Don't you make balloon animals? What's that supposed to be?" "A sea anemone, dumbass!"
Unept
"Dad, Can I get back in the truck?" "No, Medusa. Not until you stop staring at all the boys."
Dude_Studley
and here you see the true form of a "crick" in the neck, magnification 1000X
CaptionDatAss
Truckers demanded cash, grass, or ass when Bubbles hitchhiked her way to Clown College. Fortunately, she had plenty of grass...
alexr114
The driver, though scared, was calm because he opted for the extra tentacle insurance on the rental truck.
DangerDick
ha, and she thought going Green would help disuade the fact she'd spent the night with The Hulk
HUMLY
Dude in truck bed: "Hey, girls. Close in for a sec. I have to take a dump in this bucket."
Pink666
new from head and shoulders!! experience the ultimate in tentacle raping shine, volume and control
Bunman
Mum always told me "If you dont clean behind your ears then you'll grow spuds". She never mentioned about cucumbers on my neck. They're fucking huge!
Kembervon
The greek god's parade was a great success until Medusa's appearance turned the crowd to stone.
shifty60
I dunno whats worse, the ladys balloon-back or the glasses the driver of the truck is wearing.
rmmcgrath
By far, the most popular attraction at the parade was the Esoteric Order of Dagon's booth.
bloodydawn5522
the flying spaghetti monster branched out and has accepted people of other life choices, such as the green fettuccine woman
teajae
a lack of foresight in the "win a balloon every time you look like medusa" contest...
bloodydawn5522
the woman from yesterday hunts this beast, for it was the monster who claimed her leg. She walks the night with her gun leg cocked calling for "Multi dick"
Chimeros
Jim decided he would stick out this bizarre turn of events in the cab of his truck
WarrenGHarding
Thirty seconds later..... France said "Oui oui!" and applauded approvingly.
WarrenGHarding
"C'mon, guys, finding the parade is easy. Just get on Google Maps and follow the green line...."
WarrenGHarding
Ten seconds later, the photographer was the first known victim of Violent Balloon Rape. He would not be the last.
cannedcream
The 1st annual festival of "What The Hell Do We Do With All These Stupid Balloons" has begun.
sticksandstones
I'm more of an assman myself, but my ex-girlfriend had these unbelievable balloons...
brokenhymen
People, be cool and try not to stare. You'll thank me when the Flying Spaghetti Monster spares our lives.
Stardust_Ukitsu
Tentacle Rape Barbie never really got off the ground, but has become a dress-up classic for Barbie summits everywhere.
Error
Huh. Must be every hentai lovers fantasy come to life. OH SWEET JESUS RUN! THE FURRIES MIGHT DO THE SAME!
OvaltinePatrol
During the off season, Cirque du Soleil runs a very intense defensive driving course.
LDog
Her bush is probably pretty gross-looking. But hey what bush isn't, amiright? vaginas are weird.
bit
Of 30 actresses hired for the 2010 Peter Pan/Cthulhu crossover, did I have to be cast as Tinkerbell?
clonmacart
Medusa's violent, angst-ridden years are all the more understandable since she came out at gay pride...
DocKG
As she winked slyly at the truck driver, suddenly she realized that the million green penis backpack may not have been the best way to attract a mate.
rclandrum
Cheryl was heartbroken...she had followed the diet to the letter, but her weight had still ballooned!
Boogerhaze
This is no friendly balloon festival, it is a plot to kill all humans allergic to latex!
Unbeknownst
Lupe wanted to flash her tits to get her daddy to notice her but she's a surfboard so she chose plan B.
DaveNix
Ever seen those really weird tentacle sex Animes? Heres whats happens when they dont pull out quick enough...
Bunnee
Sure, my sisters get to live it up in the mardigras bikinis, and I have to haul this shit around.
Sina117
What's that? Sonic the Hedgehog as a raver? Alright kid... but you're sure you don't want a giraffe?
seven_burritos
Just when the gay pride parade seemed to be the strangest gathering on earth, the inflated elephant condom parade knocked them out of the competition.
herewereyouwish
Joe the Truck Driver is finally able to say, 'thats the last straw', and mean it.
DGNinja
This is the first attempt at the Japanese model of a super soldier. With this prototype, their plan of dominating the porn industry may become a reality.
FlamesOfThePhx
I was looking at this picture trying to think of something, and I realized "Oh my God! There is a half-naked woman behind that!"
KRAZYG
SARAHS BOYFRIEND KNEW THAT "DOGGY-STYLE" WOULD INVOLVE A WEED WACKER AND EYE PROTECTION!!
quagmyre
Twenty minutes later, knowing that they would never measure up, the French surrendered.
HoneyQ
This is what happens when a tentacle rape survivor isn't given the morning after pill.
pinappleoragsms
ahh where would our lives be without the annual "sea Urchin pride parade"?
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