ChaseMitchell
"It was silly to think that zombie attack would mean the end of my modeling career."
getittwistd
20 bucks for a BJ, you blow your load on me, I blow your balls off, got it?
Diasdiem
The only girlfriend that requires a background check and a six-day waiting period.
Zounds!
Yeah, I see it's a gun, but people would take you more seriously if you didn't dress like a whore.
Styre
OK, you're going to have to show me what's in your right hand before I can let you through this security gate.
slarso
This is a prime example of turning being "handicapped" into being "handicapable"
jmxcomp
Welcome to the Museum of Impractical Weapons for Nonexistent Consumers. Here we have the prosthetic leg machine gun for one legged ninja hookers. Next we'll see the ass launched hand grenade for blind Amish skinheads.
SpaceJase
Put your right foot in, put your right foot out...Oh shit, you killed three people!
ChaxC
I don't believe that I was two minutes late for this because I was reading a crappy Seanbaby article!
fattyman
I wonder if she works at I-Hop... It would give a whole new meaning to "tipping" the waitress...
Zounds!
The leg bone is connected to the AR-15 w/ muzzle flash hider & integrated suppressor in .223 Cliber firing 55 grain FMJ's.
Blinker_Fluid
I hate to admit it, but Michael Bay's remake of the Deer Hunter looks pretty good.
Diasdiem
After the tragic shooting deaths of 12 audience members on her first night as a Rockette, Sally was forced to take work wherever she could find it.
gypsy61
Her girlfriend has a chainsaw attached to her left leg, together they get 50% of shoes
thejex
"Do you know how hard it is to find one left boot in a size 6 on sale? Didn't think so!"
jmble
Finally a sex toy for those of us who think auto erotic asphyxiation is for pussies. A ten percent chance of being shot with every use.
TikiVonKillface
Most models won't even cut off their hair for a gig, but Amy is devoted.
bloodydawn5522
men of the NRA thought this would be their dream girl, until they realized she's packing more then they are
eastcoastghost
The second amendment is the right to bare ARMS, not LEGS! You stupid bitch.
ChaseMitchell
She'd been mocked mercilessly in high school, but thanks to 'Grindhouse,' Betty's horrifying birth defect was finally considered "cool."
ChaseMitchell
Thanks to Grindhouse, people started assuming Betty's repulsive birth defect was part of a costume.
Wazula
So. Twilight. Uhhhh...Bustychick69....thanks eharmony.....star trek? How many votes is that so far?
CaptionDatAss
"Most guys feel intimidated by me." "Why?" "I have a bigger "gun" than they do."
Kunin1982
Avante Garde my ass! This is the worst production of Moby Dick I've ever seen. (Too High Brow a reference for Cracked?)
Julius_Goat
This woman utterly destroys the "This is my rifle this is my gun, this is for fighting and this is for fun" dichotomy.
spookymulder
The reason you can't see her right arm is because it's reaching back to sign on as the villain in the next Terminator movie...which will be directed by Michael Bay.
buddywts
when she stands around and shoots the shit- she REALLY stands around and shoots the shit!
CaptionDatAss
Bodaciously Beautiful Booth Babe Brings Big Boobs, Booty, and Bullets to Boston Bonanza
Dunstin Checks Out
When she was brought up on murder charges. She was told she didn't have a leg to stand on.
Misternobody
Her name is Peggy, she likes hunting, skeet shooting and the one legged race...
Dude_Studley
Recently divorced after her husband found out SHE was the one shooting blanks
WarrenGHarding
Even though the movie came out over 2 years ago, Tina figured she still had a shot.
Kunin1982
I feel sorry for the people who live in the apartment beneath hers, always dodging bullets.
Pitt
Abs of Steel videos be damned... We got the Leg of Fuckin' Awesome workout video now...
ChaxC
And here we have the Weinstein Company showing off the caliber of woman that they employ.
ChaseMitchell
She hoped the new gun leg would finally distract people from her upside-down arm.
Truthiness
Yeah that is a gun on my leg and no I'm not happy to see you. MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!
TikiVonKillface
Nerds at conventions only feel comfortable talking to handicapped girls.
TikiVonKillface
Now she will have her revenge for everyone that called her "Ilene from the IHOP"
TikiVonKillface
Top and skirt by Post Apoc Clothing, Boot by Zombie Treader, "Leg Accessory" by Smith & Wesson.
PerceptorPrime
Her gun is bigger than mine. This happens more often than I'd like to admit.
WarrenGHarding
She looks Brazilian. ... Which I guess means she doesn't have a hair trigger. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK.
MC_Rap
needless to say when this bitch walks into the shoe store and only wants to buy one boot, they let her
MC_Rap
"Ooo...uh, Rose dear, we were gonna use CGI and shit to make your gun-leg....yeah, doing it for real was not necassary."
Diasdiem
After years of derision from her friends and family, Emily "Stumpy" Stevenson's dream of becoming a model came true.
HUMLY
Please don't excite the floor model. We've had to replace three platforms today already.
Zounds!
Gorgeous. Scantily clad. Doesn't talk much. Likes firearms. Thank-you Cracked for finding my dream woman!
Nfresh
Captain Hook's children had no problems following in his footsteps as the world's most dangerous amputees
DrTom
I met her on USMC-Harmony.com and, for some reason, it was love at first sight. Gunsight, that is.
Thoric
Is your dad a thief? Because he stole a machine gun and put it where your leg was.
CaptionDatAss
All she needs now is a robo-parrot, a cyborg eye patch, and an adamantium hook for a hand, and she's all ready to star in Pirates Of The Caribbean: Salvation.
Zounds!
You know what's better that a chick with a gun for a leg? A chick with two legs.
taterhater
Skynet's first attempt, the T-101, dramatically fails in its first efforts to hide among humans.
TikiVonKillface
She felt better about her recent break up when she won the costume contest, but the first place prize was a tandem bicycle.
Dude_Studley
guns don't kill people - people that are guns... that are legs... that... fuck.
WarrenGHarding
At the end of her tour in Iraq, Maria was glad there was still work out there for her.
WarrenGHarding
You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead... hey, HEY, don't touch that!!
WarrenGHarding
Beautiful girl, but totally undateable. We were being intimate, but when she came she shot the dog.
Leaf
She always gets the good parking spaces.... and it has nothing to do with her disability!!
HUMLY
I know it's a limited market, but we just have to sell ONE to Heather Mills and we'll be on easy street!
mountainMan
Nobody dared to voice their suspicions about how qualified the substitute yoga instructor was
Marauder2001
The $16-woman. We cant rebuild her, but we have some stuff in the garage that might work.
dynamicdustin
And to think... It seems like only yesterday we were showing her how to clean her glock...
Kolko
When the gun company couldn't find any ordinary booth babes, they decided to be practical.
tterry
Being able to stick to the fridge really increases the number of possible sex positions
Todzilla
You can have her gun when you pry it from...no, actually you can't have her gun.
H.R.Hippo
Nooo, Dad! I want Real MEGANFOXATRON. Can't you see this is just a cheap copy?
papajon0s1
Hey cutie, is that an AK47 in your mini-skirt or are you just happy to see BLAM BLAM BLAM!!!!
jmxcomp
Welcome to The Museum Impractical Weapons for Nonexistent Consumers. Here we have the prosthetic leg machine gun for one legged ninja hookers. Next we'll see the ass launched hand grenade for blind Amish skinheads.
jmxcomp
Welcome to The Museum of Impractical Weapons for Nonexistent Consumers. Here we have the prosthetic leg machine gun for one legged ninja hookers. Next we'll see the ass launched hand grenade for blind Amish skinheads.Welcome to The Museum Impractical
crazed-inmate
Pimp seeks gimp for stint in splint. BJs, HJs, HKs and AKs. Happy Endings.
CaptionDatAss
"Now SHE is drop-dead gorgeous!" *whispers* "If you don't call her gorgeous, she'll shoot you with her leg..."
TotallyRad
In a film featuring Sylar, Quentin Tarantino as a rapist, and an Umbrella Corporation rip-off, this is probably the most mundane part of the film.
shogun1204
Man they just need to move the cut on her skirt about 2 inches to the left! I would totally buy whatever was at there both after that.
Dude_Studley
and now, Charleton Heston's personal pleasure droid. We'll start the bidding at...
glitched
We can build her faster stronger better than before, but all we have is an assault rifle....
Opalfire
Aware of the recent surge in prostitution related murders, hookers have decided to up the ante.
Avorne
She only got into modelling because Her father was too scared to force her into a shotgun wedding
spectre_vampire
The U.S. Army is figuring out new ways to keep the disabled from dodging the draft.
Joss32
Im here to talk to you about Scientology's surgery possibilitis And dont mind the arm they cut off the wrong limb at first
bastardo
"hey baby I was in the marines you know, I could field strip that in like 9 seconds"
dcSENTIENT
Probably the only person in the world you wouldn't mind playing Russian Roulette with
dcSENTIENT
Very cool. Now let's see her squeeze some ping-pong balls and hit 'em mid-ping
SecurityMedic
After her leg was blown off by a IED, Sgt Becky had to fashion a prosthetic lag in the field with the materials at hand.
timelords_r_us
This almost guarantees that you won't be the first one to go off, darling...
seven_burritos
Yes, she's on display, but sadly the fact that she is always brandishing a weapon has made her to creepy to date.
pbunyan568
The girl who didn't get the part for Planet Terror wanted the part so bad she took her own leg before the audition. Whoops
Bunman
"...hahaha, sorry about that. I was only pulling your..WHAT THE FUCK, ITS A GUN!?!?!?!?"
tp1212
Oh, so this is the new terminator model the resistance is pooping their pants about... GET THE GAY BRIGADE!
BionicSnowman
she danced with yesterday's caption! Get it? Dances with wolves , so the wolf bit her leg off when she danced with it!
Bunman
Girl: So Doc...Whats the news? Doctor: Not good im afraid...You're on your last leg! Girl: Oh God no! Doctor: On the plus side, Ive given you a fucking machine gun leg! Girl: Sweet
jmble
Forget Rose McGowan's outfit, I want to know if they are selling the jar of testicles from the movie!
getittwistd
"I'm looking for the six fingered man, have you seen him?" "No, but there's a chick with a gun-leg over there, that's hot, right?"
Kolko
Now I realise why the French cancan was banned. Too many people in the audience died...
veritas51683
The best part is, at a gun show you can take her home without a background check!
Chimeros
And once again, I'm left to wonder why I'm missing the most interesting things in life....
nimo
Here's her baby pictures...oh look at the little BB gun. It's a shame about her mother, though.
Rumor06
When Sally was told to always use protection, I have a feeling she didn't quite understand...
nimo
Look it's Barret's wife. Final Fantasy VII is out now on the PSN network for $9.99. What a great deal, go download it now....and relive the wonder.
nimo
She holds the record for the most goals scored in soccer. And goal keeper injuries.
ChaseMitchell
I don't care how implausible a leg gun is, it still fucking bothers me that she could somehow fire it without even pulling the trigger.
EMG0916
She never quite understood her father's aversion to guns until she went to public school and noticed her strange malady...
gypsy61
Face it, even if she wasn't Rose McGowen and there weren't zombie what the fucks running around everywhere, you would still ... totally ... do her
TikiVonKillface
Hell of a long way to go for the deadliest vibrator on the market, but totally worth it.
TikiVonKillface
She always wanted someone to put her on a pedestal, She just hoped it wouldn't be at a convention.
TikiVonKillface
The people on the other side of that case are going to get quite a surprise when they round the corner.
anti_gravity
The first attempts at creating a real-life Samus Aran were less successful than we had hoped.
Taj
Sadly enough ,she wasn't an amputee before the job interview, she just really needed cash
Simski
Pirate < ninja. Pirate with gun peg leg = ninja. Pirate with gun peg leg & boobs > ninja.
TheUnitedEmpire
I was so loaded last night I got this tat...wait, FUCK! No No no, oh god no, my dad is just gonna LOSE IT!
IDontLikeChange
Somehow it makes her MORE attractive… there is something deeply wrong with me.
kylebro93
It's a shame; with all the advancements in technology, she still has that doughy physique.
Error
Satisfies all members of the NRA, miniskirts anonymous, and people with foot fetishes. Oh dear god, WHAT HAVE WE CREATED?!
Damnshitfuck
Obviously someone took the joke about one-legged people in ass-kicking contests way too seriously...
niko4ever
So that's the point of those "would you rather do Ashlee Simpson without a leg or a fat Madonna" questions.
jdburke
due to the increase in crime rate strippers have exercised their right to bare arms
Joss32
My hearts a time bomb but i don't know how much time i got left so i tend to be in crowded places so i don't leave alone
cosmic429
damnit when i dropped her into that ditch, i cut her leg off so she couldn't come after me
xtheenderx
I bet it gets weirder when the gun starts firing while your under that skirt.
xtheenderx
So Daniel, why don't you tell my girlfriend here what you told me about the handicap signs.
Kembervon
MacGyver's girlfriend was quite pleased with his handling of her missing leg situation.
DigitalRhythm
I hardly think that hard metals and hot lead are proper amputation tools...
jbrown157
What the hell am I gonna do if Obama passes gun control laws!??!!? Palin 2012!!!
OutlawsDelejos
Disney executives were worried where the plot for "Mannequin 2: Kim Cattrall's" revenge was going.
Andytony
You're perfect! But listen. This leg of yours. Gonna have to lose it. For THIS! **Cocks gun**
degree7
Even after the surgery, Rachel was surprised to be offered one last job opportunity.
Caz
Pimp: "I was about to ask if you had your nose done, but i guess i'll have my head blown off before i can even end sentence eh?"
SweeneyDepp95
I know you wanted us to remember your sister, but did you really need to chop off her leg and dress her up like that?
RyanPress
Looks like she doesn't have a leg to stand on; however, she does have a gun to stand on.
JMcInnis
Another victim of Mad Scientists, April pushed through the pain and managed to find gainful employment.
piper0089
Oh yeah! That's the family that survived those nuclear bomb tests down south... At least they found some way to earn an income...
November 2009
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