seannyb
They always say "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." Well, I want to nail Ted's wife.
Jeepster
Hey girls c'mon back to our place. We have pictures of huge dicks in our pants.
nimo
And we would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you kids. And Tom's FUCKING PURPLE TIE!
jmxcomp
By disguising themselves, scientists hope to study the corporate douchebag in its natural environment.
JobiSierra14
Pedophile stock brokers. Stock is up on less creepy "hiding in the office" masks.
zbeebs
Nice try, celebrities, but the Grim Reaper is on a rampage, and he's not that easily fooled.
dramdan
Sacha Baron Cohen isn't even trying anymore... and I'm not signing your fucking waiver.
dramdan
Ya, I'd be wearing a mask too if I was participating in the 'Necrophiliac pride' parade
seannyb
The jury wasn't sold on their "It's not MY fault she thought I was her husband." defense.
KWEENBEE
The first stage of a sex change operation is to live like the opposite sex for a year. Somehow I don't think this counts.
WarrenGHarding
The newest fetish sweeping America: put one of these on, and your girlfriend can feel like she's fucking a man with a JOB!
crazyivan
Jeff's mask looked exactly like him, making him the LAST person the police would suspect!
BionicSnowman
CAN NO LONGER BE IGNORED!!!! LOOK AT EYES. LIKE REPTILES. REPTILIANS AMONG US!!
Kunin1982
Man. THe FBI just isn't putting the effort into it's witness protection program that it used to.
Mr Happy
The 600-Series had rubber skin. We spotted them easy. But these are new. They look human.
gitsum
The rally was a complete disaster when it was aparent that no one in the crowd had any idea who these people were...
bcanders
Ironic protests work a lot better when people know who you're protesting against
Blinker_Fluid
Maybe they should carry signs or a banner so we can figure out just what the hell it is they're protesting.
Julius_Goat
"Wait a minute, Skip . . we can't show our faces in public . . . and THESE are the faces we choose?"
Leaf
Well, I would testify but the Witness Protection Program doesn't give me a whole lot of confidence...
Kunin1982
No, our true faces just don't properly convey how big of a douchebag we all are.
Kunin1982
Tired of being screened by airport security? Can't get into that country club? Keep getting stopped by the cops? Can't get credit? Well all those problems are a thing of the mask with the patented "Trick Whitey" mask.
Rex-Jester
Hungover from the convention sponsor's party last night? Not a problem with "Hangover Head (tm)" ... you'll find us at booth 42C next to the concession stand.
TheBeatles
Republican politician and actor Fred Thompson (left) decided to wear a mask that would distract people while he slept through his speeches.
royaloaksm
Hey, MY first Photoshop involved a girlfriend and a Swimsuit issue cover, but to each his own.
Julius_Goat
"You know how when a kid gets cancer, the whole class shaves their head? Well, Lawton here is a two-dimensional asshole."
youatemyshoe!
The budget for Point-Break 2 was seriously dented when Gary Busey put his bar tab on the company card.
Fivebretz
Advance screenings of Universal Studio's 2009 remake of The Mask reveal the extent of the budget cuts
DeadMonkey321
Identity theft is striking our politicians and uglier celebrities especially hard these days.
gitsum
Although the protest was mildly successful, it was difficult to determine the impact to their dignity
DeadMonkey321
We're here to wear fake cardboard masks and chew bubble gum...and we're all out of bubble gum. And dignity for that matter.
mrpeabody
Which of these men is wearing a mask and which actually has a face made of cardboard? If you can't tell, why should we?
Rex-Jester
It was either the facemasks or the purple tie... we said "fuck that noise..."
Todzilla
So I told my dumb ass constituents I would come out and meet them face to face.
MC_Rap
Al Gore, Howard Dean and Bill Clinton attempt to infiltrate the Republican National Convention
nimo
Face it guys, these masks only make us look like sexual predators with a six figure salary. WE ARE SO GETTING LAID!
MikeRotch
"Ted,do we really look cool in this?" "Trust me" "Well you do have that kind of face..."
MikeRotch
This is more embarrassing than the time all dressed the same at Don Knotts' Christmas party
Truthiness
I would've got away with it too if it weren't for you meddling Dateline NBC reporters!!!!
MC_Rap
After cherry bombing the toilets at school the principle wanted to talk to their parents, but Lloyd, Benny and Rich had a plan...
Versus
"Who, us? We're just waiting for seannyb to write something so we can vote for it."
IDontLikeChange
Let's see; I own a mask-making company and unnattractive gay men cruise just outside. What to do...
WarrenGHarding
For the record-breaking 23rd day in a row, Cracked posts a picture of a kink I've already tried. ...And LOVED.
Leaf
Well, I would testify but the Witness Protection Program doesn't give me with a whole lot of confidence...
TheMush
You mean I didn't have to fly to Argentina? Damm Spitz, thanks for telling me NOW...
VinnieJames
Looking like a smarmy douche: $20 Average wage of sweatshop workers who created the masks: Less than $1 Knowing that's not your real face: Priceless
BillWilliams
Hi, my name is Bill. No one ever votes for my Craptons. Would you like to vote for my Crapton?
j.kimm
"Why do I let you guys talk me into this stupid shit, ,Just watch, either Alan Funt is gonna yell candid camera or we'll be reduced to a Craption."
j.kimm
It was an easy choice, go home and act interested in the wife prancing around naked or hang out with you guys.
dramdan
"The interviews with the new counsellors for the underprivileged children's camp went well! Upstanding young men."
dhrider123
sorry photo shop works only in the virtual word, and poseing as somebody else only works when talking to young girls on IM
KWEENBEE
I just heard all 3 are the CEO's who took stimulus checks as a raise....nobody will ever know now!
arabiandstbstr
And he whisperd in my ear,"despite everyone making fun of my sweat band and purple tie...this was the best wendsday afternoon I've had with the honchos in a long time"
Zaphod
turns out the remake of Point Break is actually going to be better than the original
Sarcasticguy
Well you can get plastic surgery, but if you want to save money or don't have enough for it you should opt for cardboard surgery
Brett-Butler
Let's stand right in front of the Erection Memorial Statue. That'll make us look more manly.
seaniemet
'Chortman', if i knew you i'd hurt you (this is the only medium through which i can, or can be bothered to, pass on this message)
ScHyZ
Now... how am I supposed to make a cock joke with this kind of picture? come on cracked....
bilbo1
The NHL's newest team, The Scranton Evening Newsmen, weren't so sure about the new uniforms.
Leaf
Late for a business meeting?? Forgot to shave?? No worries - we can help!! Order now and you get three for the price of one!
Xionc
With all the jazz and heist montages, Ocean's Fourteen ran short on the makeup budget.
IDontLikeChange
And the aliens were too cunning in their disguise (as smug, overly-gay guys in the city) for humanities survival
dynamicdustin
Look guys... I'm just saying it would be a lot easier to see if we poked out the eye holes in these things.
Fursnake
Debut of the FBI's new informant identity concealment program. Still in development.
AndrewSpindler
Due to the economic crisis these executives took the cheaper alternative to the usual expensive plastic surgery.
iBagel
Hey. Headband guy. Why isn't YOUR head mildly detached from your body. Are you pretending to besomeone your not?
jvp117
Thats right with our certified course, you too can be a business icon for just 9.99! Call 1800-SCAM today!
mhtsos
Photoshop baddd...Cutting pics from newspapers and sticking them with super glue like a douchebag=gooooood
zbeebs
Look at the slight pixelation in windows of the building on the left. Photoshopped!!!
bilbo1
No you idiot. You put a blue dot over there faces so people don't know who they are, not their portraits.
liverpooljohnny
These portrait photographers have learned what it takes to make the Republican's children smile
deaved_wrath
This wouldnt be so funny if you knew they were staring at the little league game...
bafaulkner
Some more conservative Michael Jackson fans decided to disguise themselves at the singer's memorial.
jspot2k
I may have the balding, unattractive mask....but goddamnit....I got a sweet...SWEET TIE!!!
1.21jigawatt
now I know why "they" say to be successful in Business one must have minimal facial expressions
SamuraiZach0
The guy on the left just had his first sexual encounter, the guy on the right was his first.
CaptionDatAss
They couldn't get Sam Neill for Jurassic Park 4, so they did the best they could...
bilbo1
Dude, I am telling you these things are great. I slept write through that chick flick last night and she didn't say a word.
Milkman
Ironically the purpose of the masks was to make them look less like douche bags.
Pitt
Guy on right: "I also have a paper mask for my cock! The ladies can't tell the difference on that one either!"
picc01
...Next on Dateline NBC. They were once wealthy buisness executives, but now they hide their faces in shame.
dramdan
"And you stand by your statement that you didn't know they were wearing masks, Mr. Scrushy?"
Pitt
You would think they could have matched this shirts and ties... These guys are losers!
HelperMonkey
Still, they're demonstrating more depth than anything Hollywood's cranking out these days.
1.21jigawatt
On the back of the image, is there an image of the person Ass that belongs to the face?
Todzilla
The guy who posed for the mask on the right has a bright future as the world douchiest man.
papajon0s1
Caution: Cialis may result in enlarging your 'head'. If the 'head' is enlarged for more than 4 hours please go to the office as usual.
picc01
Man 1: (pointing to the Fat woman) You'd DO her...wouldn't ya?" Man 2:(slowly) Yes...Yes I would!
nimo
Look, I get dressing as Ray Wise, maybe it's a Twin Peaks convention. But dressing as my neighbor that cuts his lawn in a speedo? I don't get it.
eastcoastghost
Frank’s idea for a way to steal the good parking spots went off without a hitch…
picc01
The "Three Executive Stooges" LIVE at the San Francisco ampitheater...tickets are only $10 dollars at the door, and protection is required!
nimo
You see that building behind us? We own it. Want to see the executive suite? I'll show you my business briefs.
1.21jigawatt
Guy in Middle says: if You like this face, wait til you see the Face on my little head [..un-zip..]
MC_Rap
Dammit, Ben, we're supposed to going to this party and make the honeys think were billionaires and you wore a Swatch!?
tommybaby
No. 1 way to tell that someone has read "How to stop being a Douchebag for Dummies"
The_Duke
many people got the wrong idea when the auditions for two face from batman were opened!
SecurityMedic
If you trick or treaters aren't going to try anymore, I'm just going give you raisins and Percocet.
Unbeknownst
Sadly, only one of the three members of the Jon Lovitz Appreciation Society has the right mask.
the_left_hand
The internet group calling itself Anonymous, the so-called 'Internet Hate Machine', seems to have made a sudden —and, frankly, fucking retarded— change in tactics.
MC_Rap
Practical joke of the day: Know someone who has a big interview at a daycare in the morning? While they sleep glue a mask of a kid toucher to their face. Comedy gold
CaptionDatAss
Three more shape-shifting reptilian politicians!!! THIS PHOTO IS THE PROOF WE NEEDED!!!
crispdynasty
"Damn it, Joe...purple tie, no eye holes in your mask AND you deceided to not wear your contacts? This is the last pre-halloween ironic masquerade I invite you to."
Jovian84
Larry i'm not sure your bank manager disguises are going to get us into the vault.
Merkabah23
So the Bildeburgers are really Reptillians in shitty disguises? How can you tell?
WarrenGHarding
Neckbeards develop plan to fit in with white-collar societyl; get jobs on Wall Street.
meikamo
I mean I know Wall street is scary right now, but you guys are dorks. And Halloween isn't for another 4 months.
Pdub
This looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time.
Versus
The other masks they've got have the mouthes cut out like O's for some reason.... hmmmm...
sagert
"Dude, I don't think anyone cares I'm wearing the face of Spain's president...I knew I should have went with Obama's"
Gionet
Because Point Break II had a lower budget, they couldn't afford to get president masks.
sabre2spartan
LOL. Those upper-middle class accountatns dressed as lower middle-class accountants. classic comedy
VinnieJames
Lady Gaga's new line of "Poker Faces" may not be as convincing as was hoped.
dadada
Hey Vinny! I gotta little job down by the docks; its gotta somethin' to do with plastic
badaxe
While the nerds in high school went on to be great scientist and engineers, the cool kids are still doing crap like this.
schmeedo
I still think we should have just bought that trench coat and stacked a couple midgets up.
djinception
They'll have you saying, "I'm thinking Arby's...or at least getting the fucking out of here as soon as possible."
Hamshanks
"My nuts are so itchy right now!" "I don't know, I quite rather enjoy the pain."
Kalikali
I've seen some ankward movie reboots, but Mr. Bean 2.0 it's the worst idea ever!
Kalikali
I;ve some some ugly movie reboots, but rebooting Mr. Bean is the worst idea ever!
Ranger
One of these homo's are not like the others. One of these homo's... doesn't belong! (C'MON... SING IT!!!)
HeyHeyHey!!
Is it just me? Or are these guys trying to hide their ugly faces just to get laid?
wityadidja
I thought you should go through life not being "that guy" now every poser is "that guy".
wityadidja
If you can't be the man of your dreams, wear a cutout of his puss on your puss.
Hellfire1989
Douche Masks: When you want to keep that expression on your face but with no sore face muscles.
NightOwl26335
Borat strikes again ... this time his victims are out of work, down on their luck stockbrokers
arabiandstbstr
If you look closely at the shadows on the foreheads this picture is a FAKE!
DirtGunfrey
"No one's laughing. Does anyone even know who we are? We should have had fucking name tags!"
SlashCalliber
Why do Im starting to have the feeling that most of the choosen craptions are made by guys with no sense of humor and lots of web friends ?
FilthyButtBeads
Reminds me of the night my buddy Will Arnett hooked up with the Olsen twins and Matthew McConaughey
Chaos Merchant
" Bob and Tom were found today brutally murdered in what seemed to be... A face-off. Tom was still smiling when paramedics arrived. "
magicalex
Wait... I can't see Borat. Borat, move a little more to the left. No wait-- ok perfect
Shedrick
By showing the faces of Scientologists, Annonymus has taken another bold step in taking the church down.
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