Other Craptions

...Or as they call it in Canada.....Tuesday.

Your limo has arrived Ms. Winehouse.

Maybe just one, officer...

"Clearly I wasn't driving erratically, officer. The cans on top are still standing."

Moving out of the college dorm took less time than I thought it would.

What seems to be the ocifer, problem?

At 10 cents a bottle, the collection is estimated at 13-times more valuable than his piece of shit car.

Mike didn't actually drink, he just liked everyone on the highway to give him plenty of space.

Say what you will, but the cops sure didn't find the pot in glove compartment.

Just scoot the junk over when you get in.

Stop stalking me, Cracked!

Nobody knew where the governor of South Carolina had gone . . .

It's okay... If I get stopped, I have mints.

Officer: "Alright Busey, get out of the car."

Well you see officer, I was headed to the recycling center.

I was wondering how homeless people hold a house party.

No, officer, I'm not drunk. That was yesterday.

For Sale: 1998 VW. Great driver. Never smoked in!!

It's not ME who has the problem, officer... (whispers) it's my car!

Why you've never heard of the Irish car industry.

1,324 bottles of beer in the car...1,324 bottles of beer - take one out...

Not pictured: the dead hooker.

...and that's why I was three weeks late for work

She said "it's me or the booze'...guess what I decided!

Wait a minute. Is that a Zima in there. I'm not riding with that guy.

Its not good to bottle things up.

99 bottles of beer in my car, 99 bottle of beer. Throw one at the dash, it breaks with a crash, 98 bottles of beer in my car...

Yes I drank them all, Sugar Tits.

My other car's an ashtray.

I'd say he fell off the station wagon.

Chuck Norris takes on his blood alcohol level in an epic match.

That's enough to produce 1.21 jigawatts

Yuck, this guy's a mess. I mean, look at all that dirt on his tires!

During the day I drive a minivan full of asprin......

He's on his way to an AAA meeting.

Damn imports!

Clearly all this was caused by faulty windows vista.

It's okay- These guys knew nothing else was going to happen in the backseat of that car.

As you would guess, this Autobot's dad was a drinker too.

I don't always drink Dos Equis, but when I do...I prefer a car load of them.

Mercedes Becks.

I used to live in my car too.

Does baby want a bottle? Actually I think you've had enough.

It was like that when I got here.

And you just know that buried underneath all those bottles is a baby in a car seat.

That's one clever way to hide a dead hooker in the back seat.

This guy clearly makes bad decisions, buying a hatchback like that.

"The only problem I have with driving is switching beers". "You mean gears, right??".... "Uh... sure..."

...and that is why Tera Reid had sex with me.