"Clearly I wasn't driving erratically, officer. The cans on top are still standing."
At 10 cents a bottle, the collection is estimated at 13-times more valuable than his piece of shit car.
Mike didn't actually drink, he just liked everyone on the highway to give him plenty of space.
99 bottles of beer in my car, 99 bottle of beer. Throw one at the dash, it breaks with a crash, 98 bottles of beer in my car...
It's okay- These guys knew nothing else was going to happen in the backseat of that car.
And you just know that buried underneath all those bottles is a baby in a car seat.
"The only problem I have with driving is switching beers". "You mean gears, right??".... "Uh... sure..."
Even after cutting the budget for the new Bat-Moblie, It just keeps getting better and better!
"Oh, those officer. They, uh, weight my car to improve my traction on icy roads"
Here in my car, I feel safest of all, I can get really drunk, there's no need for a bin in cars...
I admitt it! I have a wee problem!!! I don't have enough room in this little car for all my booze!
"Why do you keep looking in the rear-view mirror??"... "Well that Heineken has been following us for miles!!"
Not pictured: Ogre and the rest of the Alpha's chanting "NERDS, NERDS, NERDS" at the not so cool kids that were drinking ODoul's and Canada Dry
"Sir. Do you have any open alcoholic substances in the vehicle?" "Er- noooooo, occifer..."
Look, Dave. This is the third time this week you've shown up here asking for directions to Amsterdam.
After leaving the wall, the 100 bottles of beer made some bad decisions in the back seat of their roommate's car.
In Ireland, they don't stick the bottles to the outside of the car when a couple gets married.
Optimus Prime knew the Mrs. was going to give him trouble when he came home shitfaced that night!
Just like Becks, it only took 4 things to make this picture - shame, disgust, laziness & complete awesomeness.
After seeing David Hasselhoff trying to eat a burger, Kit really let himself go!
KITT 2008. This is how they tried to lure David Hasselhoff into remaking Knight Rider.
I would vote for somfas' craption today except for the unforgivable punctuation error. The grammatically correct Canadian sentence would end..."Tuesday, eh."
Worst criminal ever: "The cops will never find that dead hooker under all of these beer bottles!"
Officer: 'Just how many more empty bottles do you think you could fit in there son....!!?' Unknown Drunk: 'Dunno, maybe a few hundred more if i take the dead hooker out of the trunk'
Sometimes, 'don't drink and drive, smoke dope and fly' can by mutually exclusive.
The new generation of hybrid cars will be perfect for those first time student motorists.
It's ok...they dont completely cover the carseats...they can breathe, or my name isn't Britney Spears
Joey's dreams of owning an alcohol-powered vehicle to save on fuel costs backfired horribly.
That car shaped drinks cabinet would be a lot more useful if you put some shelves in it.
NO WAY.....I don't need a taxi....I'm OK to drive...No, really....I'm not so think as you drunk I am.....(*urp*)....
is jsut zattttttt I wanttt a littelw drinnktyh0 pooos/! DaMInt Waoman! LEAVE Meee alownfwe!1!!
There's something to be said for a car that gets a lot of Heiney in the back seat!
99 bottles of beer in a vw, 99 bottles of beer, you take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer in a vw.....
"If you haven't been drinking, sir, you better have some evidence to BECK that up."
That´s really unsafe you know? none of those bottles is wearing a safety belt
Screw the Dos Equis guy - this is clearly "The Most Interesting Man in the World"!
Really? We drank all of that last night? And I have to have it cleaned out by 10:30? NOOOOOOOO!
100 bottles of beer in the car, 100 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 99 bottles of beer in the car.
I remember that time in college when we actually acted out "99 bottles of beer on the wall"
Not pictured: the guy whose friends found him passed out in the backseat and decided drawing on his face wasn't enough..
In an effort to improve sales, US auto dealers are finding more incentives to get people to buy.
To make sure they're still back there. Why, what do you use your rearview mirror for?
Hour five of the contest to see if you can fit more bottles in the back of a Volkswagon or in Paris Hilton's cooch
This photo is shown next to the Drunkest Driver entry in the "Guinness" Book of World Records.
Bullshit sir...I know you are drunk..even your car's tailpipe blew over .08
"Well, the air bag deployed. Unfortunately the young man was killed by 56 beer bottles to the back of the head."
When we kids played "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall", we seriously played "100 Bottles of Beer on the Wall".
Wow that is utterly disgusting. How the hell can someone let themselves live like that? Drinking Becks, pshhh, pathetic...
When you play Edward 40 hands, you're not supposed to actually use 40 beers for each hand...
"Sweet Chad, now hopefully Trent will get here soon with his Honda full of roofies."
You cheap bastard....Why couldn't you just put down the deposit on the keg I asked you for??? Seriously, you know I'm good for it.....
No, officer. They aren't with me personally, I just offered them a ride due to them having alcohol
"Okay sir, I will let you off with a warning but if I ever catch you with a joint you better have a good lawyer!"
What the back of Al Gore's Hybrid SUV would look like on recycling day...if he wasnt a hypocritical bag of wind.
I believe that the alcohol in the evaporating liquid will totally cause a contact high....I'm just saying, Officer...
The police in AnnoyingSongland found all the green bottles in an abandoned car. They were re-united with the Wall later that day.
Now this may be a hunch on my part, but I'll best this turns out to be the cause of tomorrow's craption.
Twenty minutes later, the French pissed on their shoes, went on and on about having to bathe sometime in July, then surrendered.
You're drunk. No occifer I'm just exausted because I've been up all night drinking.
Who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with piss, cover it in vomit and a hangover for you? The Heineken! The Heineken can! The Heineken can cause it mixes with your nachos and makes your mouth taste bad.
I finally got drunk enough to fuck Rosie O'Donnell and there was no room in the back seat...
Want to know how many bottles you can fit in your back seat? There's an app for that.
If you compare the amount of accidents that occur through drunk driving with the number of accidents from regular incompetent driving you'd be crazy not to do it.
You're being negative for saying I got a drinking problem. You're looking at the bottles half empty.
When they came for Becks, I said nothing, because I did not drink Becks. When they came for Heineken, I still said nothing, because I did not drink Heineken. But when they came for Guinness, I cried out... but there was no one left to cry out to.
I'm on my way to AA, officer. As you can clearly see, my car has a serious drinking problem
Dude, where's my girlfriend? Last I remember, she fell asleep in the back...of...the...OH MY GOD!
I'd clean it out, but I don't know where the trash ends and the car begins.
"No officer I wasn't drinking, I was just on my way to a collectors convention."
Evening, Officer. Oh, my, no, those bottles are only back there to hide the dead hooker.
"Well Officer, I thought if I drank every beer in the store, there would be less chance of anyone else drinking and driving. If you think about it, Ive made the roads safer...Ive done you a favour here.!"
"Your license says you need corrective lenses. Where are they?" "I'm wearing beer goggles, officer."
You drink, you drive, we crush you to death with beer cans in the back seat of your car.
It was more of a Ker-Sploosh than a Ker-Plunk, but regardless, it was a clean wipe.
I'm not drinking while I'm drivin'- I'm drivin' while I'm drinkin'- Right guys?
Todd discovered the perfect way to hide the body after the frat party. Now, no one would ever suspect Kappa Kappa Kappa of the crime.
His life having pretty much stalled in his parents basement, Dave wanted to relive his childhood in the ball pit.
Somewher under all those bottles, Lindsey Lohan is trying to get some sleep.
COP: "Ms. Lohan, I would've let you go with another warning but Heineken? Oh you're going down, bitch."
That must explain this: http://www.tammiefritsch.com/laughs/images/puke.jpg
This is the car that imagine the guy who will be dating my daughter when she's 16 will be driving.
The deposit value of all those beer bottles probably make it more valuable than the car itself.
Papparazzo (to others): "C'mon, guys. Looks like we're not getting a shot of Britney's crotch this time...."
"Well, yeah, technically I'm driving with open alcohol, but they're in the backseat!"
I knew they preferred room emperature beer in Europe, but apparently vehicle temperature works as well...
Turns out that all volvos come with this much Heineken in them already... Goddamn those germans.
"99 bottles of beer in my car, 99 bottles of beer... Slam one back, toss it to the back, 98 oh Hi offisher..."
But officer, I'm taking them to the "Guess How Many" booth at the Jaycees. It's for charity!
The German monopoly on Beer and crappy cars makes it a perfect start for the "Vroom Vroom Party Stahta"
“Five cents for each bottle is enough to pay for the DUI ticket you assholes!” yelled Billy as he sped out of the parking lot and promptly ran over a pedestrian.
If you can think of a better way of getting extra traction- I'd like to taste it.
1 used car - $5000 50 empty bottles of beer - $5.00 50 empty beer bottles in 1 used car on eBay - $500000
No no no the backseat was for tail, not ale. Fucking shit is this your first time in a hatchback?
Turns out that all volvos come with this much Heineken in them already... those dang germans.
Turns out that all volvos come with this much Heineken in them already... The Germans must be making a killing
pfft. I drink that much in Mountain Dew in one night playing World of Warcraft. Oh... Did I just type that out loud? My bad...
Johnny has come to realize that adopting a highway next to a campus is NOT a good idea.
Say what you will, but the cops sure didn't find the pot in my glove compartment.
Turns out that all volvos come with this much Heineken in them already... The Germans must be making a fortune
The German monopoly on Beer and crappy cars makes it a perfect start for a "Vroom Vroom Party Stahta"
Turns out that all volvos come with this much Heineken in them already... The Germans are rising...
Turns out that all Volkswagens come with this much Heineken in them already... The Germans are rising...
I don't know if riding with him is a good idea... all that glass seems awfully sharp.
Well it's not Philly 'cause it'd be Yuengling, and it's not Williamsburg, Brooklyn 'cause it'd be Pabst. Where the fuck do people drink Heineken?!
You only see this kind of savagery when the Montreal Canadiens win the Stanley Cup
If I was an alcoholic and designed small economical cars, this would be what I'll come up with!
In an effort to make his car worth more before he sold it, Sal had a flash of genius
Danny always wanted to get busy with a bunch of girls in the back seat of a car. Little did he know they'd be St. Pauli Girls...
"Its the perfect car. I can have sex with the hooker in front seat and then after I murder her, dump her body in the landfill in the back seat."
How far away is Michigan? These are worth 5 cents a piece. By the time we get back home we will have to turn around again to return them again.
Oh last year I did that. The next day I promised never to do it again! Oh well, I'm in upper left :~
Hiking the Appalachian Trail? ... no, no, no, I was working on some Argentinian Tail!
Still from the 2008 Knight Rider sequel. Trailer found here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QH3JAp7vMuo&feature=fvw
Heinzeken, the unsuccessful ketchup-flavored beer, was buried in the desert along with millions of ET Atari games. However, breweriana collectors managed to smuggle some bottles away...
first they steal the car, then they fill it with beer ... these teenagers are at least gettin imaginative
Why does John Daly's caddy always bring Daly's clubs to the tournaments in his car?
"Sorry Tom, we can't give you a ride, my car only seats 2. Hehe jackass..."
This is how many beer it takes to make Susan Boyle look... um... remotely doable... at BEST.
Joey wanted to bribe the cop, but he sadly didn't have anything cold, hard, and green. So he tried the closest thing he had: a bottle of Heineken.
Thanks to this craption, I will never, ever forget how to spell Heineken. Thanks, Cracked! I owe it all to you!
I don't spend a dime on gas anymore! I get homeless guys to push me wherever I want and they get to pick out two bottles of their choice!
The only thing Laverne & Shirley didn't like about working in a brewery was sometimes they took their work home with them...
... And they all decided that the best way to hide the body was with a serious DUI.
"Excuse me sir? You wouldn't know anything about a Beck's beer truck being hijacked earlier tonight, would you?"
Pepsi Throwback was soon followed by Heineken Throwback; you throw one back, and then throw it in the backseat.
Sir are you aware that you were going 60 mph in a 35 mph zone... do have you been drinking?
GM stock price has finally bottomed out. The recycling center is issuing shares at the rate of two shares per bottle.
After hearing all the reports of babies dying when their parents leave them in cars, Jed made sure his babies always had plenty to drink
GM was trying to appeal to a younger demographic, so they introduced the Chevy Frat Party. The radiator was a keg and the tailpipe doubled as a bong.
"Dude, you'd better make up something fast, otherwise we'll be doing Epic Jail time."
After drunkingly fucking Britney spears in the back of his Golf, Peter new only one way of getting rid of the "fish" smell
Amy Winehouse attempts to hide herself as the press makes claims that her rehabilitation has taken a turn for the worse...
you know you're a redneck when your car... aw whatever the picture explains the joke.
Never pass out in the back seat at 9pm. Your friends might not have a Sharpie.
And we thought it would be funny when we pulled the same stunt on "Look at me being serious guy" again...
Bill barely escaped with his life along with his most valuable possessions from Hurricane Katrina. possession.
The Jim Morrison tribute parade may have been hit by the recession, but was still able to capture his spirit
Unfortunately, Stanley was not aware of the VolksWagen's legendary penchant for Beck's beer when he stowed the cases in the back.
This is Officer Smith of the auto theft squad, can you describe the vehicle that was stolen?
"Oh my god! I can't believe I almost drove that thing home. Clear the cans off the roof and let's go."
The Secret Service simply could not take back the returns and resupply the lone resident of the Crawford Ranch fast enough that January night.
if you thought this was bad, you should see what the Irish frat car looked like
What's more impressive is that it only took Steve 40 minutes to pile those up. But it was only another 20 before his heart stopped. We'll miss you Steve...
I had to quit drinking that night when the empties encroached on the foot pedals - therefore making the car unsafe to drive.
Guys, guys, I think we have at least...two dollars in the back seat. That should cover the hospital bill for Dave's alcohol poisoning right?
Robert was arrested for DUI. The evidence against him was very convincing.
The bogan pagan ritual of offering up a lesser car filled with beer to the God of Pickup Trucks is not as well documented as one may think.
"Honey you said clean out the den. You said nothing about not putting int in your backseat."
"Dudes fine. Don't worry 'bout him. John is sleepin' it off in the back of my car."
Replace the Beck's bottles with Natty Lite cans, the Japanese compact with a Ford Mustang and you get an idea of what my college years were like.
And on the Seventh Day God created The House Party, and He saw that it was Good.
At least put it in a garbage bag. You don't want the cops getting all suspicious.
James: "I am sorry officer, just give me a ticket " James' mind *Ha! sucker! Mr. Chen is gonna pay me ten-fold the price of this ticket once I get the 2 asians inside across the border*
Dave's stupidity explained both his unemployment and "Smuggle illegals under a cloak of open containers" plan. His attorney explained the charges.
99 bottles of beer in the car, 99 bottles of beer, take one out, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer in the car
Wow, that is just a disgrace. You know what that man should be doing? Enjoying the cool refreshing taste of the Rockies, thats right, Coors, not whatever shit is in those bottles.
"We need something to cover the dead body with," said Johnny Twofoot. "I have an idea!" someone said. It was a bad idea.
Oh, right... not a single one of those bottles is CRACKED. ... I see what you did there.
538, 539...all right, honey. With the deposit we'll get back from these bottles, we can finally afford to bail daddy out of prison!
538...539...all right, honey. With the deposit we get back from these bottles, we can afford to get that abortion you've been asking for!
Did I have anything to drink tonight!? Of course not, I've never touched the stuff in my life!
don't worry about recycling,dude. we just set the car on fire. easy peesy....
After falling from the tops of Mount Hollywood, David Hasselhoff had to trade in his Carpool for this 1986 Volkswagen Golf
Suffice to say Robert Downey Jr. took his role as Tony Stark a little too seriously.
The salesman HAD promised that with the correct fuel, the Golf would pay for itself within a year.
Lucky for Jimmy, the police were so distracted with the bottles they didnt notice the dead prostitue in the trunk!
"Honestly Dad, I did clean the car. I just had a couple of beers while I was doing it."
Of course I didn't drink ALL of those officer, the last one is in my cupholder!
Just because I was fooled into coming to an intervention, does NOT mean I will open up!
I only remember having two beers officer. The first one and the last one.
November 2009
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