Tessica
Papa Bear's chair was too hard, and Mama Bear's chair was too soft. But Uncle Bear's chair was an indescribable horror.
WOITAS
The prosecution brought out their first and only piece of evidence for Michael Jackson's child molestation hearing.
FedEXguy
Terrorist pinatas aren't filled with candy and hope, they're filled with large caliber ammo and broken penis pumps.
Tessica
It was cute when you made me little crafts in grade school, Jonny. But you're 35 years old now!
seannyb
My son's Father's Day gift was definitely supposed to be a hint, I just wish I knew what that hint was.
seannyb
Well, sure, it may not be comfortable, but at $4.99 can you afford NOT to sit on it?
An_Arkist
I'm less concerned with the freaky chair, than all the extremely large spent shells next to it. What is this guy hunting, school buses?
Patrickivan
My wife walking by: "Honey, what's that?" Me: "I think it's something kinky- give you any ideas!" My wife: "Yes Dear- Remember to take the garbage out tonight before sleeping on the couch."
Patrickivan
When I sit in this chair, I can't help but ponder some of the many mysteries in life. But most of all, I can't help but wonder if my anus will ever be the same again...
Tessica
Honey, why don't you go downstairs and bring up an extra chair for your new boyfriend. --- But Daddy, I love him. It's not fair!
Ed_Gein
I've learned so many different sexual positions with this chair, that I got one for my mother too!!
kengoldstein
"Welcome to ACME Corporation, Mr. Coyote. Just have a seat in our waiting room and our Complaints Manager will be right with you."
pytho666
It might be frightening and uncomfortable but at least you will never have to ask for toilet paper
CaptionDatAss
"Billy Mays here for the Slinky Sex Chair: the kinky sex chair that springs you to action!"
Rex-Jester
Just because you see some weird shit in a dream doesn't mean you have to make it a reality.
Patrickivan
Sorry- this isn't funny. It's a portable toilet. That's just sick, Cracked. Just sick indeed!
SpecialQue
I miss the days when "getting the chair" simply meant getting electrocuted...
vf9hellcat
The little known Pharoah super-fabulous the third had his throne mumified and buried with him when he died.
Antarxes
But wait!! Order now and we'll include 9 .50cal bullets with the Deluxe Torture Chair and Deformed Clay Vagina Tube set to make the pleasure even more erotic!!
Zounds!
When I come home from a long day at work, this is EXACTLY what I want to see waiting for me.
meikamo
You guys will all see exactly how it works as soon as Wile E. Coyote gets here. Shh...
Todzilla
The "cure" for homosexuality is a lot like making pot smokers blaze the whole bag.
gitsum
You honor, exhibit A...clearly, no further evidence is required to clear my client of sexual harassment.
Leaf
There's something very wrong with this picture... That chair. It's on top of the table!
anonym
the new science teacher, mr cheney, sure has some effective enhanced punishment methods..
Hellfire1989
To answer your question : "Yes, that chair could kill you 26 ways before you sit down"
Julius_Goat
Gangsta wrappers do some pretty awful things in the name of their so-called "art."
momoy
Pissed off from her last visit, Baby Bear has a suprise for Goldilicks when she tries sit on the new chair.
phreesh
You can wrap it in all the cotton you want, it's still a torture chair, Mr. Rumsfeld.
buddywts
If you think the pews in Church are bad- wait'll you see the seating in HELL...
SteveHardon
THESE CHAIRS ARE A DISGRACE AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO ST-um, wait, yeah, we will stand for it...
Leaf
From the man who brought you high heels and corsets, here it is women! The birthing chair!!
oni-link
Trust me darling, the chair is fine, just like on the box…no I didn’t use the instructions, why do you ask?
crazyivan
He claimed he'd made progress on his robotic chair project, but the investors suspected he was just stringing them along
benrichardsrm
I know what you're thinking. I'm thinking it too. Where exactly do the bullets go?
Julius_Goat
The first aliens went to war with the Earthlings due to a terrible misunderstanding.
Rex-Jester
The empty shell casings are what I find most frightening... sit in the chair or you're meat splatter!
Ozweego
With sanitation issues on the rise, Chuck went a little overboard when "wrapping" the seat.
gypsy61
And then I kind of realized, why am I even in art class, I wanted to be an accountant, but the fues from the glue were having an effect
Rex-Jester
I think Richard Dreyfuss made that with a spoon and some Hungry Jack mashed potatos.
anarcurt
Little is known about this device, found in a dark chamber filled with leather and chains below Dr. Seuss' house, other than it's name "The frivilous fistacular"
Julius_Goat
"The chair isn't comfortable," she says. "It needs a little spring to it," she says. OH I'LL SHOW HER A GODDAM SPRING.
wquates
The Ottoman Empire gave us the ottoman. This is what the Sticky Tape Regime provided.
Tessica
That's not a chair, that's just a cage with the lid open. I thought I recognized that on Jon and Kate plus Eight.
wquates
Hey, remember that scene at the end of The King of Comedy, when Jerry Lewis was taped to the chair by Sandra Bernhardt? That was awesome.
TheoSchmeeo
I dunno. Some guy ordered it for the bathroom in his cantina. Where is 'Tatooine,' anyway?
Zaphod
no silly, you obviously have no clue what a chair is or how it's used, do you? You're supposed to put in on the FLOOR!
TheoSchmeeo
"That? Some cantina special-ordered it for the men's room. Where exactly is 'Tattooine' anyway?"
Dunstin Checks Out
It's the Trap-An-Infant-In-A-Chair...make them fear you...the Trap-An-Infant-In-A-Chair is yours for $29.99 ***Scary-Sideway-Vag-Monster not included
jonnygonzo
Water boarding nothing, the Toilets were the real reason behing Gitmo's closing
MC_Rap
Keith Olbermann was excited when he booked Dick Cheney on his show. He had the perfect chair for him
dynamicdustin
HG Wells early version of the Time Machine was seen as a horrific failure.
WarrenGHarding
I've heard of putting a spring in my step, but why would I want to put a spring in my sit?
Zounds!
Do not pay for one whole year he said... Zero percent financing he said... Dude, I have such a bad case of buyer's remorse cuz of this chair...
WarrenGHarding
Don't be scared, it's sleeping. Though it does transform into dentist equipment.
Bunman
My mates told me my art wasnt "Fucked in the head enough"....So I made a chair with a dick in the head rest.
ferron
Fed up with AC Slater. Screetch finally invented a way to punch him in the stomach.
Warren_et
In less hard-core states, convicted murderers are sentenced to the Eccentric Chair.
CaptionDatAss
The cheesiest part of MVT: Mummy vs Terminator was when the T-Mumthousand morphed into a dining room chair.
CaptionDatAss
In Japan, nothing goes to waste; even the soiled tissues from bukkake films are put to good use.
CaptionDatAss
Bouncing is what Tiggers, and weird chair sculptures made by 15-year-old emo kids, do best. (God, I just referenced Disney, Winnie The Pooh, and emo in the same craption... time to shoot myself.)
CaptionDatAss
I've fucked a few couches in my day, but I ain't touchin' that with my 10-inch pole...
Brett-Butler
"Are you kidding Brett? In the past month you've used Japanese sign posts, oversized semen and incontinent Elvis' as explanations for your tardiness. Do you really think I'm gonna believe you were late due to a malfunctioning recliner?"
CaptionDatAss
"You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have chairs with frickin' laser beams attached to their backs! Throw me a bone here!"
CaptionDatAss
"...and the punishment for your crimes? You're getting "The Chair!!!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
BobMussolini
Notice how the stark lines of the chair draw the eye upwards, to the contrast of the spring-powered dildo, and away from the demented sock puppet begging for cigars.
crazyivan
Experts said the time machine may have had a chance if it hadn't been constructed entirely of yarn.
Christine
Woah, Whoever made this obviously had a very vague idea of what a chair was........
eastcoastghost
Chairy from ‘Pee-Wee Herman’s Playhouse’ turned to crack after Pee-Wee’s conviction.
Pitt
The design of the new Porn-O-Matic chair a little flawed due to the attachment placement...
gitsum
I wouldn't say, "uncomfortable", but the design definitely requires a few minor tweaks.
Ed_Gein
I especially like the "Shlong Sleeve" in the front. The Butt-plug is way to high though.
Ozweego
So I understand what the Spring with the ball on the end does, and the 5 points on the inside, and the 2 points of outside do. But why is there a hole in the middle??? Oh...
infectionk
What was more weird was when it spoke to me... but there was a good chance I was just high
JewDude
With the success of the Big Comfy Couch PBS tried the Not So Big Or Comfy Chair Show
pepesupreme
Much like the corset, Victorian era sex toys were built to be as excruciatingly painfull as possible.
BillWilliams
With no carobon footprint at all, Chevy's new SUV passed every environmental test with flying colors.
izzyboy
Shouldn't the spring loaded butt plug go on the seat instead of the back? Well, I guess I could give you 10 bucks for it.
Roland_Deschain
Reminds me of my trip on Jet Blue. Damn, that spring looks comfy though.
Yanner13
Tired of the old fashioned door stops? Get the new in-the-way-and-big-for-nothing model! Yours today for 27 pain in the ass payments of $13.33. Call now at 1-800-get-screwed
KillerPaintCan
The medieval torture exihibit had its budget cut, so the museum director was forced to resort to drastic measures.
UdoSchaffner
"President Bush, This isn't going to convince anyone that electric chair is humane... or ready for a comeback"
feralboy12
When the judge said I was getting "the chair" I was frightened. But when I saw it, I realized that hilarity would ensue.
CaptionDatAss
When the WWE replaced steel chairs with wacky papier-mâché chairs, it just wasn't the same...
Spunk
Bill will you please come out of the basement... and why do the lights keep dimming?
CaptionDatAss
"Inspector Gadget called. He wants his abstract representational plaster chair sculpture that Penny made of him at the community college back."
Cody Johnston
Although the Fuck Chair's heart was in the right place, it had clearly never fucked before.
CaptionDatAss
"Excuse me, sir? That's my seat." "I don't see your name on it." "Actually, my name IS on it. I'm the artist."
Cody Johnston
Although the Fuck Chair's heart was in the right place, the dildo was in the exact wrong place.
TexPlexico
Lesters knew his time machine entry was sure to win first place...and get the girl.
OvaltinePatrol
There had been a few hints before, sure, but when my host directed me to sit down, I began to think that maybe I was less welcome than I was previously led to believe.
niko4ever
"I don't know much about Art, but I think I know what you were on when you made that."
TheButlerDidIt
Dr. Seuss, in his early days, experimented with drugs and tried his hand at carpentry. These are the 'Chairs We Do Not Speak Of'.
lilackisses
"Well kids, this chair belonged to to Setunkamun. There are no records as when he used this chair, but demanded that it be placed is his tomb..."
severran
Bob Ross' first PBS show 'Papier Mache Rape Racks' never made it past the censors. It's genius only hinted at in these vintage photographs.
WarrenGHarding
Patiently, carefully, invisible demons prepare the room in Hell where Geraldo Rivera will spent eternity.
87gn
Furniture of the Spanish Inquisition. New exhibit coming to a Museum of World History near you.
CttCJim
When the ATF finally raided the Scientologists' compound, all they found were spent ammunition casings, a sideways-vagina-tube, and Tom Cruise passed out in his easy-chair.
RobFMDetroit
It was announced today that in addition to the use of waterboarding, the Bush administration is under heavy scrutiny over the alleged use of goofychairing.
WarrenGHarding
You don't want to know how much porn I had to watch, to paint this chair.
Cyclone62
The chair for every pogo nymphomaniac that loves doggy style! For free, we'll throw in the handlebar!
OneWithAse7en
"Whats that..? Oh those are just some 50 caliber rounds I dipped in chocolate... I'm sorry..? Ooooh the chair..."
TheDairylandDon
This impressed me for a second... THEN, I saw the kitchen table it goes with!
the_left_hand
It seems that Poland has yet to fully grasp the basic concepts that make capital punishment effective.
gypsy61
9 shots it took to bring down the thing that sat in this chair, the horror is still with me
Spirolli
Ok, our next exhibit is the Silly Death Chair used by Conneticut Penititionary Prison. It kills you in the most humiliating way possible.
MC_Rap
Not many people know that the Rocker chairs you use with video games was actually invented by Tesla, before the invention of video games
crazyivan
No, they're two separate props. He sits in the chair, and the bad guy uses a knotted rope to- nevermind...
Zaphod
the very latest in disposable toilets: no plumbing, made entirely of toilet-paper, comes with handrail and constipation-strain recoil spring for difficult turds.
Pitt
The unveiling of the new method of harsh interrogation was an instant success. Prisoners at Gitmo are spilling their guts at the mere sight of it. More at 11...
LetsPlayClowns
"The new Senior Citizen High Chair has the functionality of an adult diaper, with the comfortability of going pantsless."
Church13
i don't know what i should be more worried about, the spent rounds or the chair.
elandry
Given the recent uproar over the CIA using water-boarding to interrogate terrorists, the agency is now looking in to more sadistic forms of interrogation tactics.
gitsum
I understand the chair and the cylinder, but what the hell do you need all of the ammunition for...?
Tessica
I think I figured out what Pee Wee Herman did with the physical remains of Chairy.
buddywts
Not sure exactly what the spring-loaded knob is for.....but judging by the "Holy Shit" handle in front it can't be good.....
Pitt
Yes the new Decepticon is horrible to see until it transforms into a cute little dildo.
brucexedwards
The inventor of time travel made modifications so while traveling large periods he can have his massages and relieve himself too.
pepesupreme
Sir, is that a sex toy or a torture device? [curator] Dunno, let the interns sort it out.
mactheknife
who the hell sits on a chair on a table? rediculous. unrealistic. ill give it a 7.
HEADSHOT
"Are you sure this is what kids want these days?" *Sales man nods affirmatively*
HEADSHOT
Now Available for SALE CUT-SLASH CHAIR IF you press the ball you will Hear child´s souls scream in agony , but sometimes you wont have to press the ball at all
buddywts
oddly enough- your ass is the only part of you that's relatively safe while seated.
buddywts
for everyone asking where their dick should go- the lack of cushion in this chair provides enough room for you to leave it up your own ass.
MC_Rap
New! New! New! Ex Lax's new De-constipation chair! Now legal in two states! It's new!
Most_Inane_Uno
Water boarding wasn't actually got the guards of Gitmo in serious trouble.
MC_Rap
In Disney's Beauty and the Beast, these pieces of furniture were kicked out of the castle
juxtaposedus
Due to the recession, the props for the latest "Saw" film have been made from paper mache
jollysailor
and the insurance company didn't believe a chair of unimaginable horrors even exsisted
JivelyGent
David Carradine's childhood high chair, seen above, was donated to the Smithsonian on Wednesday.
neathy
San Quentins new "Death by Paper Mache Poisoning Chair" was ruled as cruel and unusual punishment.
MC_Rap
Listen you can either get butt raped by just the chair or gang raped by the couch and love seat
Zounds!
Hey you...come on down to my basement and let me show you my time machine...it's magic!
neathy
"Here at Crazy Chairman Wows Superstore we carry the best in Prisoner-Made furnishings for your hovel."
neathy
"Rocco says if all you little brown dildos don't start talking, you'll get the chair...see? Nyah."
DemonCow
After congress banned the electric chair, Texas rolled out the spring-loaded-spinal-snapping chair
VinnieJames
The artist cited his inspirations as "Bop It and Star Trek." The medium is silly string.
WarrenGHarding
Everybody say it with me (deep breath) .... IN SOVIET RUSSIA, CHAIR rocks YOU!
87gn
Shown here is some of the highly specialized training equipment we use here at Gaylord & Cheops Clown School for Mummies.
djrbkj
It looks like our local Church of Scientology is redecorating their waiting areas...
OttoGaines
dad, you really need to stop building things... a sex chair for everyone just will not sell at our garage sale
Keithmeister
Jeffrey Dhamer's collection of comfortable, skin-covered furniture was unexpectedly passed-in at auction
CaptionDatAss
"Where do I put my kick?" "In the balls of the shitty artist who made this piece of crap."
Unbeknownst
Asked about it, Reggie Jackson deemed the chair racist and demanded an apology.
CaptionDatAss
"Uh, honey? I thought we came here just to get some cheap Swedish meatballs..."
tastyburp
"Quit slouching or else I'll put you in the .. er, uh, umm, ... aaARRRGGGHH DAG NABITT! -- YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY!!!!!"
Foresight
The chair I can understand, but the depressed parascope infront is decidedly frightening slightly arousing
tastyburp
(wife to husband) "Nag-nag-nag. For your information, it WAS on sale -- 80%off and 10 easy payments -- how could I refuse???"
Spunk
This isn't what I thought you meant when you said you were taking a spinning class.
DCracker
Pablo finally achieved the only way on this earth to have anal penetration while being donkey punched under neuro-erotic asphyxiation while having your balls sucked and your chode licked clean of smegma while sucking your dick and giving you an alaba
tastyburp
Gift wrapped and j-u-s-t in time for the Guantanamo detainee transfer, it's the SeatSurge Handcrafted Amish interrogation chair -- complete with waterjug & hollowpoint shellcasings.
VinnieJames
That's right, the chair is free. The years of mental and emotional damage you will suffer are also free. How can you refuse?
VinnieJames
Finally, a picture that accurately depicts the phrase "Rubber baby buggy bumpers."
tastyburp
A few extra parts, but I put it all together in under 2 hours! Not bad for an IKEA project -- now gimme some of them Swedish meatballs....
WD40
Tim Burton's far less anticipated side project entitled "Beetlejuice's Chair Excellent Adventure"
isles147
So i press this lever and, for my safety, it "ejects" me at a high speed out of the chair
isles147
It may look cool but if it is not capable of supporting my ass I dont want to buy it, fucking industrial designers.
renandchi2
Wow, the new Guantanamo Bay relaxation chairs are so much more comfy than last year's models!
Stardust_Ukitsu
After little Tommy unveiled his papier mache project, the guidance counsellor quietly took his mommy aside and asked her just how much crack she had been smoking when she was pregnant...
WarrenGHarding
House Republicans were quick to issue press releases damning Obama's new nationalized Health Chair system.
ghostriderr
I thought I was supposed to be scared of the new "Health Care." Now I really understand.
terrordactyl
Up untill now Edgar had been horribly misunderstood his whole life, but now he knows there is someone out there that understands him.
MrNeighbors
some prisoners devoted their time to making ropes from floss, Piere however, wanted a little "flair" in his cell
TheAmazingShark
The cylindrical duck has been released from it's cage, and will now wreak havoc on the world!
Euronymous
This is the first known model of the chair in which the pedophile is supposed to take a seat in on NBC's "To Catch a Predator", notably lacking the cucumber in the seat.
TheDairylandDon
I don't care what the lady in the commercial said!! That thing is not going to help me get flatter, sexier abs!
TheDairylandDon
A professional wrestler once used this chair to cheat in a match and went to jail for rape.
TheDairylandDon
Q: "So, where do you keep your collection of used military shells and old bullets?" A: "In the basement, with my torture porn chair! Come check 'em out!"
TheDairylandDon
Jim Henson's people gave that thing with the mouth a two movie deal and a line of toys.
TheDairylandDon
Q: "Why do you say that my favorite chair is unsafe?" A: "Because it dangles precariously off of the edge of that table!! Everything else is fine..."
TheDairylandDon
Guaranteed to make Mork from Ork say, "Sazbat!" every time he tries to sit.
TheDairylandDon
"Let's hurry up and get to Steve's, before I get stuck sitting in that one uncomfortable chair."
TheDairylandDon
Storm, HALO, Joker, and the Ghostbuster weren't in such a hurry to get inside and have a seat, anymore.
jedipoppa
"Paper Mache Gone Wild" on some crazy cocktail of who knows what. Can I get some?
pinappleoragsms
Presenting new for 2010 from Ashley brand furniture, the Mother In law chair! She wont ask to move in with you after sitting in this baby, Or your money back!
fraternihilius
After some agonising, Casper decided that the day's encounter with the N.R.A. should be called 'eventful.'
sallan
After they got over the initial kinkiness of it, the Johnson just wished they had their fuck swing back.
The_jimmuki
This is what a chair looks like in its pubescent stages of its cocoon before it becomes a recliner.
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
Nov 21st, 2009 
Nov 20th, 2009 
Nov 19th, 2009 
Nov 18th, 2009 
Nov 17th, 2009 
Nov 16th, 2009 
Nov 15th, 2009 
Nov 14th, 2009 
Nov 13th, 2009 
Nov 12th, 2009 
Nov 11th, 2009 
Nov 10th, 2009 
Nov 9th, 2009 
Nov 8th, 2009 
Nov 7th, 2009 
Nov 6th, 2009 
Nov 5th, 2009 
Nov 4th, 2009 
Nov 3rd, 2009 
Nov 2nd, 2009 
Oct 31st, 2009 
Oct 30th, 2009 
Oct 29th, 2009 
Oct 28th, 2009 
Oct 27th, 2009 
Oct 26th, 2009 
Oct 25th, 2009 
Oct 24th, 2009 
Oct 23rd, 2009 
Oct 22nd, 2009 
Oct 21st, 2009 
GaseousClay 
hwuu 
BennyF 
sish2000 
Versus 
steeze_bucket 
divinecomedy33 
tterry 
Gatt 
HUMLY 
jtklove 
cptnpeacocksuit 
MattG 
gm_zero 
Least 
spydrmunkie 
RB2 
Captainasshole 
Lavender 
slarso 
swankyway 
dramdan 
ajp1015 
CavalierX 
inmate42392 
BionicSnowman 
Adwhite1 
Morguerat 
Bobby Bobby 
Priapism 
bilbo1 
jjok 
tw1st3d 
grumnut1 
jaynine 
Phoenix Trinidad 
classie 
TheHoboTurtle 
Truthiness 
jspot2k 
eRock 
sgt.salt 
Blinker_Fluid 
bit 
Pillzbury 
Roscoe 
rcmasse 
Ometeotl 
stevie92 
bobby_boy 
lumberjef 
tomjenkins 
bigwest 
Nerill 
theirish 
Pray_For_Mojo 
Misanthropy 
moosesashi 
Mordor 
Error 
spectre_vampire 
chrishocker 
Andytony 
Boxy 
Mrs.Lovett 
InSovietRussia 
kshipley 
Mouse420 
Ben861 
dpollok 
mace_iz_ballin 
shifty60 
NotEsquire 
Stryx 
Tetsudai 
RealJazzyCat 
BrownBear12 
lynn_k_fletcher 
1.21jigawatt 
zbeebs 
polancoj16 
Cap 
Tommyg 
josancho 
cramecirp 
badaxe 
tomdran 
todbrowning 
Mudslingshot 
xpacerx 
luv_doctor68 
dlaj21 
BVincent 
empleryEntrance 
Nightpath 
iamoldgregg 
TrustyMadman 
bluestarr 
joeyblaze 
bafaulkner 
mhtsos 
KAJER 
leicester 
Cookie. 
Tas 
sprayette 
Doomsauce 
thaRaven 
Styre 
PeptoOverdose 
KRAZYG 
tripperday 
starsandsons 
drewdeze 
smoochy 
bnug 
Cardboard_man 
Kyleisgreat_60 
Sergeant_Basil 
thatwasfunbro 
Rattlehead 
wityadidja 
Megatooth 
dead_alewives 
Vozpit 
ElementalBrain 
quayle 
Yavinoff 
KWEENBEE 
Ranger 
