ChaseMitchell
While no one was severely injured in the collision, one of the men did report feeling "all shook up."
JobiSierra14
The Xtreme Depends commercial featuring the Elvis impersonator is FAILING! Get me Michael Bay!
geniuswaitress
Sometimes what happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas. A restraining order kicks it out forever.
Leaf
Men in diapers, an Elvis impersonator... Fuck! We made a wrong turn. We're in Dis-Graceland.
nimo
Elvis had hoped to be the patron Saint of Rock'n Roll when he died. Instead, he became the saint of bicycle helmets. Turns out, rock n roll WAS the devil's music.
CaptionDatAss
Slipping on a banana peel is classic comedy. But slipping on a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich? That's Elvis comedy.
geniuswaitress
Well, if it's recommend by Elvis AND diaper bikers, then I'm eating at the Totem House.
geniuswaitress
One has pants that are cool as shit, the rest are cool with shitting their pants.
Roland_Deschain
Against diapered fatties distracted by seafood, Mike wasn't just good. He was the BEST.
Zaphod
Phil and Shawn were not only brutally honest when they said they'd shit their pants if they ever ran into Elvis, but they were also well-prepared when that day came.
Fkelleghan
In all fairness, it IS hard to ride your bike when your butt is shaped like Peter Cottontail's.
MC_Rap
Damn. If you weren't looking for it you wouldn't even know this was an advertisement for 7-11
Julius_Goat
John was confused. He'd opted out of the circle-jerk, but he couldn't exactly say he'd maintained his dignity.
CaptionDatAss
What happens in Vegas, sometimes tracks you down and ruins your bicycle race.
thedrew
They say Zombie Elvis still roams the streets, seeking revenge on anyone who stepped on his blue suede shoes in life.
CaptionDatAss
Just when they thought it couldn't get any worse, it started to Kentucky Rain.
PeptoOverdose
Hey, HEY, over here, check it out can you give me directions to the convention? My son who looks like the joker forget his Juice box. He gets a lil weird without them.
Dunstin Checks Out
The King was then reduced to dancing to the song "Tequila" at the Totem House as to not get his ass beat.
Truthiness
Stayin' alive... stayin' alive... oh oh oh stayiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin alive!!!
bcanders
The bikers and Elvis impersonators were about to rumble when the first claw of the alien invasion smashed down in the background.
geniuswaitress
Update: it's actually fat-bottomed adult babies that make the rockin' world go 'round.
geniuswaitress
Ironically, the guys in diapers smell like hound dogs, and Elvis smells like baby shit.
geniuswaitress
The 7-11 didn't start selling chili dogs until 11:00, but an anxious crowd was ready.
simon00023
See? I wear a diaper, so I don't crap myself when crazy shit like this goes down!
Joc1992
Following the crash one participant showed signs of dillusion, reporting he wanted to "do a little dance", "make a little love" and also "get down tonight."
Brett-Butler
When I said that I wanted an expensive ride, this was not what I expected...
Julius_Goat
Larry was a man. A man who knew what needed to be done. A man who knew what needed to be done if you wanted to get beaten up.
Rex-Jester
They're used to these scenarios, which is why they're wearing crap shields. These idiots are prepared.
Brett-Butler
'Damn, when did I did that gravy stain on my jumpsuit? Now I look like an idiot. Maybe if I stand next to Incontinents Anonymous...'
Leaf
You're in trouble if you step on them, but God help you if you ride over his Blue Suede Shoes.
nimo
Elvis was going to start the race, whether those damned Pre-Op transexuals were ready or not.
FrostLight
Uhhh... Pardon me gentlemen, but have y'all seen the Halo guy, The Joker, Storm, and a RocketMan around? Ah think ah got som'n fer um... Uhhh-Huhhn!
TheBeatles
Michael Steele's plan to transform the GOP into the party of hip hop failed miserably.
mactheknife
oh, i love 7 11, theyve got these new churro things, when you-... oh right, the bike thing.
geniuswaitress
Proof that if Elvis were really still alive, he'd shoot out his computer screen too.
bilbo1
With so many chemicals in his system zombie-Elvis periodically awakens and roams in search of Peanut-butter and banana sandwiches.
Brett-Butler
I don't know what really killed disco. The mass burnings or the ecologists.
Brett-Butler
You give a nation freedom of expression and THIS happens. No wonder fascism is thriving...
Brett-Butler
For those of you who find the Village People too conservative, meet: Bear Force 1!
Leaf
Ive lived a life thats full. Ive traveled each and evry highway; And more, much more than this, I went the wrong way.
Brett-Butler
Everyone knows that when you're knocked off your bike, you have to square dance to defend your honour. Unfortunely, not everyone knows what a square dance is.
bafaulkner
This scavenger hunt sucks. We crashed at the Elvis impersonator, but we can't find the next clue.
spydrmunkie
only the king would have the nerve to bring a shopping cart to a bike rumble
nimo
One second before Elvis yells "Up, up and away." He can't fly though, and that bicycle gang leaves him in critical condition in the county hospital.
Devildog100
Why hasn't anyone noticed that these guys are wearing their underwear out side their pants? ELVIS is the normal guy in this picture.
Metalhitman
No matter how Elvis tried, the biker gang just wouldn't acknowledge his existence.
Spunk
John was so embarrassed when he realized today was ride your bike wearing a diaper, and dress like Elvis bike ride was tomorrow.
jekelish
That big guy was so shocked to see Elvis alive and well that not only did he crash his bike, but apparently he dropped a load in his pants.
Julius_Goat
Day Man . . . aaaAAA-HA . . . stronger than the Night Man . . . aaaAAA-HA . . .
Milkman
Bobby and Danny were certain wearing their underwear over their pants would give them superpowers...in other news: Elvis??
getittwistd
Seriously guys, I was on my way to pick up my new Totem Pole. Why did you have to crash into my bike!
hurrakane212
This retired dare-devil convention brought to you by Depends Adult Diapers. Jumping over 17 semi trucks while on fire might not have caused you to shit your self, but old age will...
Patrickivan
Okay guys- enough standing around. Let's get this hunka hunka buning love cycle trip on the road!
j.kimm
Leather and Harleys look silly enough, But Leather and Schwinns...Too much to bear.
b3rTy
Whats stranger than Elvis in this picture, is that the guy in the middle is wearing a nappy...
bilbo1
Honestly, Son, everything happend so quickly that day long ago, I'm not really certain which one was your father.
Wanderer
If you're "Lonesome Tonight," Elvis can set you up with some of his diaper-wearing buddies.
CaptionDatAss
"Bloke, turn your shorts around, or Alex is gonna be pissed!" said one of the Droogs.
crazyivan
The plan tested perfectly; all the bikers immediately shat themselves and crashed upon seeing The King. Next stop: China!
Pitt
"Man, did you see that? He shook, rattled, and rolled and then all our motha-fuckin' bikes broke. Let's leave this dude alone!"
Patrickivan
I dare one more biker to look at me! I'll knock you all down and give you wedgies!!!
Zounds!
It isn't safe to drink and drive...apparently you shouldn't drop acid and ride either.
eRock
As the bikers decided who was going to keep Elvis, Elvis pointed to the sky and dissapeared in a brilliant flash of light
meikamo
I really wish that Lance Armstrong would have stayed retired from the Tour d'France this year.
Wanderer
"Super Elvis? Diaper Boy? Really?" "Don't blame us, all the good names on the Superhero Registry were taken!"
87gn
Lucky for us all, just before he left the house Lance's mom said "be sure to wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident". Lance is a good son, but a lousy rider.
crazyivan
Having saved the bikers and applying rectal bandages, Elvis returned to his home planet knowing Earth was once again safe.
OSUmigl84
The Tour de France is getting pretty liberal on the cyclists they're allowing to race
TheBeatles
Evil Kanevil's redneck cousin eventually made a name for himself by flying over diaper wearing cyclists.
eastcoastghost
“I literally shit my pants when Elvis jumped into the street; luckily I was wearing my bike diaper.” Said a young Lance Armstrong.
Shedrick
Director in White:Damnit Cut! Cut! Cut! we are going to keep doing this dance sequence until you get it right!
thedrew
The hard work of the Elvis Lives Society - Bike Patrol Division and their strict diaper policy finally pay off.
OSUmigl84
The guy in the middle looks like he just had a burrito from that 7-Eleven back there
quagmyre
It was only a matter of time until "Tour de San Francisco" was forced upon the world.
MC_Rap
Somehow the first take of the last scene in The Breakfast Club didn't feel right.
HEADSHOT
Everytime a group of riders wearing diapers crashed together..Elvis appears for just a few seconds Science calls it the Elvis Phenomena
aromig
Look...I got a load and Elvis is pissing me off. So how about you cut the shit Cindy?
bobina
It was a good thing that the police officer was wearing a diaper, because little did he know the shock of his life was standing behind him.
darthbogus
Two men in diapers and a random Elvis is Lance Armstrong's secret to success.
HEADSHOT
Everytime a group of riders wearing diapers crashed together..Elvis appears for just a few seconds Science calls it "THE KING" Phenomena
MC_Rap
With the recent influx of Elvis impersonators, some had to find second jobs such as traffic control. The results are disastrous
SteveHardon
Lance Armstrong should have figured dressing as Elvis would only make people think he really WAS coked up...
nimo
hey guys, anybody seen my bike? I was sitting on it exactly one second ago and now I feel constipated.
sortableturnip
This is the reason why Bruce Campbell rejected the part of Elvis in the Bubba Ho-Tep sequel...
SteveHardon
Elvis hated the French so much, he made it a point to sabotage the Tour de France yearly.
josancho
trying to subdue the "evil" Elvis, the swat team dressed as it their lives depended on it.
sortableturnip
All I do is eat and shit....I'm going to live forever. My colon is the strongest muscle in my body right now...I just passed Elvis through my colon right now!
Zounds!
The Tour de Graceland failed to attract any big names in athletes...but it did attract a huge number of retards.
MC_Rap
"Okay, dammit! who got jelly doughnut filling all over my gears again!?! Elvis...?" "My bad."
polancoj16
Thats the guy who distracted me and made us crach and poop our diapers.The one over there.No the one dressed as Elvis you idiot.
CaptionDatAss
"...first there's the 5-star restaurant, then the Heartbreak Motel 6, then the 7-Eleven. You can't miss it."
eastcoastghost
Unaffected by the grown men wearing huggies; Elvis danced his way to another tour de Detroit victory.
Zounds!
How are we supposed to make dick jokes with this picture? Why Cracked...why have you done this to us...
Shedrick
The Almost Greatest American Hero again foils the diaper gang during their latest bike-by today.
brucexedwards
Next on News at 11: Elvis seen buying crack from the Vegas Diaper Biker Gang.
dannyk
"by all means steal my bike and shit your diapers, but for the love of god, guys, PLEASE stay off of my blue suede shoes."
bafaulkner
Sorry, guys, I was reading on that sign back there about All You Can Eat Shrimp for $9.99. $9.99? Are you kidding me?
tsolless
There is, surprisingly, a large crossover between: diaper wearers, cyclists, Elvis fans, and disco enthusiasts. The meeting of these interests always ends in disaster.
masterbator
You know what badassery is? When a bike(r) gang weares their pampers over their pants to show they take no shit from no one, even themselves or Elvis!
gnoblar
As another crissis is avoided,by providing unsuspesting bikers with adult dipers,Disco-man flies to the skies,in his everlasting search for the one thing his super powers cannot restore:his dignity.
bafaulkner
Did you see that gal in the Storm outfit yesterday? I'd let her cloud my world, if you know what I mean.
MC_Rap
It seemed Lance Armstrong was out of the race when he fell off and twisted his ankle. He knew the only thing that could save him was Rock n Roll...who could he call...
SteveHardon
When Kevin Costner heard about the sequel to "3000 miles to Graceland", he said 'only if I get to wear the diaper'.
FrostLight
The following preview for "The Fat and the Furious" has been approved for all audiences... Uhhh... huhhh!
Bonejaw
...because they said his "Elvis on a Bike" routine would make them shit themselves. So far, so good.
MC_Rap
with another crisis diverted in the cycling community, Elvis prepares to take flight
Sergeant_Basil
Yes, Officer. Elvis just ran up out of nowhere and tried to take my diaper off while I was riding my bike.
BennyF
"Wow, what a wreck! Kind of like Elvis towards the end of his... he's behind me isn't he"
CaptionDatAss
"I'm gonna inspect you for friction burns. If anyone knows 'burns, it's me!"
Imilkcows
Despite the number of racers involved in the crash, everyone was uninjured and stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
FrostLight
"And once Elvis won the Tour de France, France surrendered with an 'Uhhh-Huhhhn!'."
JewDude
Elvis happily strolled down the road after cleaning out the entire Town House Seafood Buffet
brucexedwards
Then Homeless Elvis proclaims: "Repent you sinners for the Kingdom of the heavens is near" causing the bike race to come to a crashing halt.
eastcoastghost
By the time the bikers had realized that the ghost of Elvis materialized in order to warn them of the imminent bridge collapse above them; it was too late.
CaptionDatAss
First he was shooting tv sets, then he was causing bicycle crashes. Turns out it was all training for the assassination of Lance Armstrong.
2noame
Elvis has left the Totem House! (after not approving of their fish and chips or their inability to meet health code standards)
chrishocker
Elvis demonstrating how his Great Bowels of Fire(tm) Adult Diapers go wherever you go.
eastcoastghost
For years, neighborhood residents have been demanding an Elvis Crossing sign at that intersection.
CaptionDatAss
Elvis running out on the street and causing the bicycle crash was an Epic Schwinn.
Unbeknownst
If you had to compose music for this picture it would sound like a cross between Elvis and The Clash.
buddywts
In actuality Rock n' Roll DIDN'T die in a bike accident- though it was beaten to death immediately next to one....
87gn
Proud colostomy survivor finally gets to meat Skinny Elvis and doesn't suspect a thing. How naive.
Error
Today on route 4, several people witnessed an event scarring to all those around it. Lucky for them, it was brief.
Error
Disco Stew, after leaving the Simpsons, went on to join the Tour De France. Sadly though, he mistakenly join Under De Pants.
nimo
Kenny's explosive diarrhea worked to his benefit for once, as he won the bike race easily.
LeonBug
Mock my jumpsuit, but the rhinestones make more visible to oncoming traffic and keep me out messes like this, a-thank yuh very muhch.
the_left_hand
Reports of Elvis sightings are on the rise, as it appears he's become disillusioned by the current state of world affairs and isn't even trying anymore.
mattifikation
Let our powers combine.... EARTH!! Uh... hey guys. Powers. Combine. NOW! Oh, c'mon guys. Damn it, you can buy new bikes! I SAID EARTH MOTHERFUCKER!
pjunk
Elvis rose from the dead to answer the age old question: Why did the Elvis cross the road?
BennyF
Ok I admit, I may not be great at directing traffic... but how many of you can move like THIS!
Knighro829
In other news, a recent poll revealed Las Vegas as the city thought to be the most unfriendly to cyclists.
Andy1984
Why were they cycling at 88 miles an hour around Graceland? To tell him about Michael Jackson boning his daughter - guaranteed shit-related death.
simon00023
So, what do you get when you cross a bicycle accident and disco... What the fuck?
buddywts
Those cyclists could've been seriously injured had their taint airbags not deployed....
Dunstin Checks Out
Evil Knievel cleared the jump. Though some fearful spectators were simply glad they wore their diapers
ECJazzBass
After a severe bought of acrophobia, the last of the flying Elvis's was left on the ground to mark the drop zone.
TexPlexico
And all of the sudden the sky crashed and Jesus had returned.. He proclaimed "This time Im Ready to ROCK!!!"
Tandem
Elvis: a great way to detract attention from that embarrassing load in your diaper.
TexPlexico
They were all annoyed by the werido with his sky pointing and white gnarly jumpsuit. UNTIL.. They noticed 7-11 in fact was the key to EVERYTHING they had been working on.
WD40
The National Inquirer, with a smug look on their face said to the world, "We told you Elvis was reported near a 7-11!!"
WD40
The National Inquirer, with a smug look on their face, said, "We told you Elvis was spotted near a 7-11"
InSovietRussia
THE PROHIBITION LOBBY OPPOSING OUR SWEET MARY JANE HAVE INCREASED IN NUMBER
Cardboard_man
I knew it. Disco is going to destroy bicycle races everywhere! Run while it's still early!
tastyburp
Undeterred and slightly bloated, Elvis makes another comeback, proving men who wear diapers (see photo - center) -- just aren't real men.
Cardboard_man
An inspiring story of a man torn between his two loves, bicycle racing and disco. It is called... 'Elvis Armstrong'.
Chapu
When the dancing traffic cop went into retirement and moved to the suburbs, he decided to indulge his Elvis impersonating instincts... the results were hilarious
tastyburp
The saga continues... a smalltown super-wedgie has evoked YET another mundane Elvis sighting.
MartianTerror17
The meeting of the IBS Sufferers Bikers League was rudely interrupted by the homeless 7-11 Elvis impersonator.
Archprophet
The hazing went horribly wrong, and one of the members has become, forever, Elvis. We shed a tear.
wityadidja
Every one was secure in the knowledge that with thier "Elvis-resistant" undies, they would experience no anal pain. Or pressure.
Lavender
With so many bicycles around, Davey became confused & started to perform Do Re Mi from The Sound of Music
jaynine
The Waffle House cycling team quickly changed their LIVESTRONG bracelets to ELIVSLIVES.
Xcaliba1452
ELVIS IS BACK with a vengeance!! taking out all his rage on innocent bikers WATCH THE F*&* out, thank you
Ozzie_Freedom
If Elton John covered Queen's "Bicycle Race", it would look like this. Wait...
Hellfire1989
Conspiracy Theory #23 "Elvis faked his death to fuck with cyclists and suffer no consequences"
Ranger
Only another 3 hours and 11 minutes remain, and this Elvis impersonator is in the Guinness Book of World Records for holding up a 7-11 sign the longest... uh huh!
Most_Inane_Uno
Bubba Ho-tep 2: Big Bad Baby Bikers was a triumph despite severe budget restraints.
87gn
Five minutes later, France claimed responsibility. Jerry Lewis will be doing a telethon to raise money for reparations.
suffra
What they lacked in accuracy, the Memphis City Short Bus Civil War Re-enactors made up for in pure crazy.
TheChronicler
"I told you guys it if supped up the bikes enough we could reach 88 miles an hour"
Spunk
Now that Lance has retired, Robby Knievel can begin to dominate the Tour de France.
LDog
The Diaper Bicycle Gang halted immediately to take down a member of their sworn enemy gang, the Red Neck Elvises.
Stardust_Ukitsu
'Breaking news- Disguised conspiracy theoists at the Tour de France confirm sightings of Elvis. More at six.'
dramdan
Aw geez, I can't even think of Elvis without having "Return to Sender" in my head for weeks! Thanks Cracked!
87gn
Oh, yeah, I saw it. It was awesome, man! That Flying Spaghetti Monster just swooped down from that power pole right there and created all this mayhem here. If I ever see it again I want to thank it for this cool jumpsuit.
dramdan
Biker gang initiation rites rank up there with Guantanamo torture methods for their degrading and humiliating effects
Ranger
FRUITCAKE... MOI?!?! Sure, I may be a lousy Elvis impersonator, but at least I don't put on my Depends backwards...ASSHOLE!
Mr.9MM
After replacing the horses with bikes, Armageddon sort of missed the whole 'fist of an angry god' thing.
Big_Bubbaloola
Once all of the drugged up racers were banned from the race, the choice of competitors for the Tour De France wasn't exactly tiptop!
MESH19
Elvis and the Houndogs ended up dead last after a collision with The Toilet Snack team. Oh the irony!
GWINDOR33
Evel Knieval's lesser known brother Dennis crossing the street with the usual fanfare!
GWINDOR33
Evel Knievel celebrating after one of his lesser known jumps, "Main Street, Beloit Wisconsin". I was a magical day for all.
Salut.the.Rush
When asked if he was hurt, the man could only say "Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me... No more" as he danced away.
GWINDOR33
Cursing his luck the photographer realizes this is the last photo on the roll just as bigfoot ran through his view finder and became locked in mortal combat with Elvis.
KWEENBEE
To everyone's surprise,Elvis predicted it, at exactly 7-11 AM there was a horendous crash involving men with a adiaper fetish on bicycles. His many other predictions have yet to be seen.
KWEENBEE
As "Team Huggies Pull-Ups" celebrate their victory with their victory song "I'm a big kid now". Elvis is inspired and contemplates a comeback tour.
Doudrious
Shortly after beaming down from space Elvis exclaimed "The King is back!" But no one cared.
Bunman
As he prepares to fly off, Superman wonders "Why the fuck do I use that budget dry cleaners when they lose my suit every week?"
TheDairylandDon
Finally, for a brief moment, the "Bridge to Outer Space" project was NOT the oddest thing in town.
Dindersnorf
While Evil Kneival didn't do as daring stunts when he started off, they were stunts nonetheless.
ser_phobos
The vicious gang of bicycle thugs were stunned to learn that the fighting skills of the Elvis were no exaggeration.
UdoSchaffner
Unbeknownst to the group of bikers, their complimentary diapers from the Seafood Restaurant were for holding "The King" Crab
MattyboyJ
"So wait, you want me to write in my report that Elvis just appeared out of nowhere and caused all this?" "Uh-huh-huh!"
VinnieJames
The bikers were surprised to hear that the reason Elvis was kicked out of Heaven was that his blue suede shoes were too shiny.
theropissed
The worlds only picture involving elvis, a diaper, and bicycles. Fuck im not gonna win the contest.
jaketaz
Sources say Lil' Wayne has been confirmed as the villain in the upcoming Star Wars: Episode VII
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