Ronin22
"Uh buddy, did you tell 'Storm' here that this is the line for the men's washroom." "He knows."
geniuswaitress
"If you're wearing that suit you ought to at least be able to tell one fucking joke, that's all I'm sayin'."
Julius_Goat
Sunday, June 21, 2009, 3:13 PM - CRACKED.com readers make their 1 billionth "nerds are virgins" joke.
Mr.9MM
I like how everyone here pretends to be too cool to acknowledge that these are actually pretty damn good costumes. Yet, everyone is still enough of a geek to recognize the characters... so let's all take a long hard look in the mirror.
Milkman
"You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars! Well...actually I'm an accountant."
Error
If you can't tell that it's Master Chief from Halo, The Joker from the new Dark Knight movie, Cliff Secord from the Rocketeer, and Storm from Xmen...kiss your incredibly hot girlfriend for me...
dpollok
"Hey, watch this. I'm gonna tell her that I can control the weather in her panties..."
dynamicdustin
I'm the Rocketeer... You know with the Jet Pack and such... Oh come on, at least one of you has seen the movie right? Anybody? Sigh...
Brett-Butler
Waiting in the Welfare line got a whole lot awesomer after the credit crunch.
Versus
"You're right, Joker, how DID I ever fly with this thing on without burning my legs?"
slipknotjunkie
Psst...I just flew my rocket right into a storm, and now she's just standing there with a horrible look of shame
EamonQuinn
Storm has nice tits, the Joker's costume is well done, Master Chief looks great, but fuck that rubber boots & rocketpack dweeb.
rambojesusak47
If you'd rather hit on the joker than storm your not just gay but also deaply disturbed
bobina
It's estimated that this movie will make 4,000,000,000,000 yen at the box office opening weekend.
Julius_Goat
"Wait a minute. I didn't die at the end of The Dark Knight. So why am I in hell?"
Julius_Goat
"Holy shit, Joker. You'll never believe it, but Storm actually just tried to lay that tired old 'You know what happens to a frog . .. " joke on me."
Aderas
The sad thing is, they all look ashamed of the others. (Except the Ghost Buster guy; he's having a blast.)
OSUmigl84
Seriously...The Rocketeer! I swear it was a movie in the 90's. I can't believe you don't recognize me!
geniuswaitress
"I'm doing a selection from 'The Vagina Monologues';what's your audition piece?"
Brett-Butler
I've never played Halo, nor watched Batman, Ghostbusters or any of the X-Men series. Let I still have the urge to join them.
Versus
And then I'm like 'Mom, I can take the crust of my own sandwich!'... pfffft WOMEN.
SetSail,B0TSKI!
"so, you think if we make it into the next SOUL CALIBER.. its going to be bomb?..i get really nervous when it comes to auditions.. really nervous about it. But,i brought my jet pack! i even made a separate compartment for when my mom packs me a lunch
bcanders
Jane came to the sad realization she would never be fully accepted by the team. The reason? Cooties.
Augustine86
But despite the endless struggle, heroes and villains learned to put aside their differences over the years to maintain peace at the Unemployment Line.
Versus
"Did I ever tell you how I got these scars? Someone bet me I couldn't put my fist in my mouth..."
jakeX
Dude... you're not going to believe this, but I'm pretty sure there's an actual girl over there!
BennyF
So I says to him I says "Well Mr Birchley if I WANT the day off to go to comicon then I'll TAKE the day off to go to comicon!" I didn't really say that but I was totally thinking it.
Versus
Yeah, these Dockers are stain-resistant, no matter how many glasses of Kool-aid I spill on them. Pretty sweet, huh?
dot26
"I'm the freakin' Rocketeer! You know! Early 90's! Come on man, I'm just sayin, this costume is a classic!"
MC_Rap
I don't get it guys. The invitation said "wear your best attire". Why won't they let us in?
Downtheline
What worries me is that after seeing yesterday´s craption this actually looks like a normal thing to me
quagmyre
Heh, heh..did you see yesterday's craption? Heh heh, it totally had a boner in it. Heh heh.
inmate42392
"Damn, we're short one player at our D&D game. Who could possibly replace Darth Vader?"
Brett-Butler
I don't care if you gave me a zillion Klondike Bars, I'M NOT CALLING YOU 'MASTER CHIEF OF THE BEDROOM!'
87gn
This years America's got Talent series will be won by the guy in the trash receptacle costume.
mc.notlovin
"Hey joker I'm an astronaut. "And I'm a serial killer, they should call you Mario because you just got 1up'd.
MC_Rap
Dammit Keith, I thought your mom was gonna pick us up! Now I'm totally gonna miss Battlestar!
Louynch
" Damn, Wolverine is taking quite a long time, bet they're gonna choose his idea for a movie spin off"
Ronin22
His movie was killed off, your actor was killed, and her career is dead, but why am I here?
JivelyGent
Fuck it: if Solid Snake doesn't show up in the next ten minutes, we're going to the convention without him.
dramdan
"SHIT! SHIT! I need to take a SHIT!" "Keep acting like the retard's not talking to you" "And my mom calls them superundies..." "If I don't win this emo contest, I'm overdosing on pills"
MsMarchHare
This is your idea of a line-up of the "usual suspects"? I told you...he was furry and 3'11!
dramdan
"I saw her again... once...at our 25th anniversary high school reunion... she didn't even know who I was"
dramdan
"If I don't pull back the foreskin to wash every time I pee, I get a bad rash and my mom has to put ointment on it"
looney237
Dude, I just got some pills from storm. She says I shouldn't mix them, but I'm like fuck that.
freakshow3135
I mean come on, I vaporize ghosts, he can jump 3 miles high, she can strike your ass with lightning and you talk like you have down syndrome. I had to pick the girl first.
87gn
Yeah, see did used to look kinda slutty, but since I bought her that Trockenhaub online she at least keeps her hair fixed up nicely. I can hook you up with one for only 12.99 euro.
Unsaturated15
A quick glance at the unemployment line shows that times are tough for everybody.
mactheknife
an alien, a clown, the rocketeer, and a black lady with blonde hair. yeah, like ive never been in this situation before.
Brett-Butler
'God, why to I have to stand next to the Ghostbuster. I feel like a freak.'
Brett-Butler
The first inter-platform gay pride festival didn't have the turnout originally expected.
Brett-Butler
If that's who I'm sharing the bus with, no wonder I'm gonna be late for work.
inmate42392
I'm still struggling to find out what these four people have in common. Except, you know, lack of sexual experience.
Louynch
AW man, my hair keeps sticking to my lip gloss, i hate that. makes me look stupid.
Ronin22
I'm the muthafuckin Rocketeer, bitch. Iron Man can suck my balls. Oh damn, I've got a nosebleed.
Louynch
When she arrived and saw what losers were there she wanted to leave,but decided to stick it out even though she was slowly drowning in a pool of self hatred.
The23
No ma'am, they can't see you, just put your cursor over the one who stole your purse and press 'start.'
BVincent
"I usually break the ice by saying: I've got a gigolo rocket in my gigolo pocket. So ... you could perhaps say: My hard dick smells funny and I'll fuck you for money. But dont worry to much about it, most of the time them convention mothers know how
dpollok
"Don't bother, she's all stuck-up...and as a character with the same powers as George Bush...WHATEVER!"
Andytony
Keiser Soze's Unusual Suspects: STORM: "Nobody's talking to me...*sulks*" ROCKETEER: "Are you the Black Dhalia? That damn got it rough." JOKER: **nurses headache** MasterChief: "Drop the plasma. Walk away. Drop the plasma. Walk away."
chugNfugN
So I see the Joker, the Stroker, but which of the others is the Midnight Smoker?
Pray_For_Mojo
Believe it or not, the guy in the Master Chief uniform stands out the least.
Chapu
If the first one is a dude dressed like Eric Cartman (as AWESOME-O) I'm headed to that convention right now
Pray_For_Mojo
Give the Rockateer guy credit. He's the only one with the balls to talk to these people.
Truthiness
Our operation is small but there's plenty of room for *aggressive* expansion.
grumnut1
So, If you're dead then, I've probably got a shot with the hot sheila on me left.
WarrenGHarding
None of them won the costume contest, so they went into the parking lot and beat the crap out of some jocks.
OvaltinePatrol
If you liked "Alien vs. Predator," and "Freddy vs. Jason," you'll bust a nut for...
feralboy12
Stop me if you've heard this one: a nerd, a dead actor, an astronaut and a drag queen walk into a bar...
MC_Rap
I was gonna wear my optimus prime costume but my mom said my rocketeer made me look handsome
mactheknife
is the halo guy wearing heelies? what a gaylor- oh... well, hes in good company.
Dr.Pepper
GUY WITH ROCKETPACK: "...well MY movie launched the career of Bill Campbell, so chew on that!" STORM: "...who?" JOKER: "...are you serious?" MASTER CHIEF: "I'm not riding home with you, Irwin! You always do this!"
Unsaturated15
The Rocketeer refuses to believe that comic book conventions have moved on from 1991.
NefariousWalrus
Grandma's Parkinsons made her make-up look like shit, and she always wears that ugly ass purple coat. Now I realize how she gets so many dates from chubby 40-somethings.
Louynch
Cop "Take your time,study them closely" Survivor "I think it was the second from the left" Cop "Right, number 2, step forward please"
PeptoOverdose
Hey dude, DUDE, there is an actual woman to my left. Shut up Steve you are making us look like dorks.
dynamicdustin
For some reason Uwe Boll's version of the Avengers seems to have been very badly researched...
jakeX
My mom said I could invite some people over after the convention. Should I invite the chocolate guy too?
dramdan
Together, we will rise up and fight to the death against the evils of bedwetting!
MadnessInKL
"I wanted to try my new pick up line. Do you think she'll go for 'I want to land my tie fighter in your docking bay'?"
Chapu
Pssst, check out the dork dressed like a video game character... yeah, right next to you
Error
One of these things is not like the others, yet all of these just doesn't belong. Can you help me guess which one is not a virgin before the end of my song?
MingLo
Here we see a group of nerds. Notice how the males' bright colors fail to impress the female, the result being that the males start courting each other.
fluf
Mom... listen! You're embarraasing me! I'm supposed to be demented and evil... The Rocketeer is standing right next to me... Awe! I love you too Mom... Hugs and kisses.
WarrenGHarding
That's the one, Officer! Number Four! That's the one that didn't lay a finger on me!
87gn
Hey, I heard that, I'm standing right here. Just because I'm gay and unemployed doesn't mean I'm a virgin, dumb-ass. Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were talking about the green dude.
CaptionDatAss
All five of them had easily recognizable costumes, except the midget who dressed as a garbage can.
niko4ever
"I wrote this great cross-over fanfic." "Aaaaaand we're going to try to ignore you now. Nerd"
Fatsackoherb
How many stupid fucks are gonna say LOL GHOSTBUSTERS before they figure out it's the rocketeer?
guessed
How long do you think it will take the rest of them to figure out that Master Chief is a statue?
SteveHardon
Times are so tough, even the comics and video game characters are looking for handouts.
Versus
From right to left: Storm, The Rocketeer, The Joker, Master Chief, and the winner of "Laziest Costume".
SteveHardon
"So this guy from CutCo says, 'Forget that entertainment racket, you can make TONS more dough selling knives!"
Ronin22
Justin was sick of never being asked to dance. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong way when he asked his fellow nerd to dance.
fluffybunny937
Guys I told we have to all wear something similar to win best group costume.
Augustine86
Unisex Bathroom lines: where heroes and villains put asides their differences, their penises and their vaginas.
jakeX
Joker: "Quick, use your rocket pack and melt the chocolate one." Rocketeer: "Which one's the chocolate one?"
HEADSHOT
"Wait I thought you told me batman is really a ghost", Halo- "you told me he Was an Alien" Joker -"he is both Alien Ghost nazi thing"
Hallo457
Dude do you think I have a chance with that Storm chick? I could always use the "gatekeeper" line.
87gn
Yeah, I am Ken, but I'm looking for a new gig since Barbie here got hooked on meth and let herself go to crap. It's so sad 'cause we had a really good life for quite awhile.
HEADSHOT
"So if we stand here people will give us money so that we dont killed them right?"
Louynch
"now take your time,study them closely". "Hmmm, i think it was the second from the left". "Number 2, step forward please"
MC_Rap
Comment # 102 that The Rocketeer guy is not making in this photo - "...so while she was sucking it, her twin sister started playing with my balls..."
mc.notlovin
"You idiot you said to take a left at High St. Sorry guys i guess we cant make it this year.
87gn
Can you believe this? All the hype about a whole new studio, set and all that and Conan can't even spring for a green room for his guests. This will be my last time on his lousy show!
dresnok
you know what happens to a toad when it gets struck by lightning? it gets his sanity back!
Murphistopheles
Oscar Awards are bullshit...MY movie have Jennifer Connelly and....NAZIS....and...a blimp....hold me...
MC_Rap
Hey, Joker, can you believe Hank actually showed up in that Halo costume...I mean what a nerd
joebennz
Pictured: pissed off politicians returning after they were told voting was done for the day
jimmyisikura
The newage nerds are slowly dissolving into NOT as cool as the oldschool nerds.
MC_Rap
Yo...if I leave the Rocketeer helmet on the doorknob that means I got Storm up to the hotel room so don't come in.
dynamicdustin
So you really think Master Chief's suit is cooler then mine? I mean come on... I can fly. Whats cooler then that? Oh... It has shields... Built in computer... Enhances... It... Holy shit. I really suck.
Louynch
"man,my feet are killing me, you think they'd supply chairs or something......."
Spunk
Getting to know them is half the battle. The other half is getting them to take off the costume.
The23
Snakes are stupid! they can only crawl around on their bellies. Conversely, spiders can crawl, jump, scurry, AND walk on the ceiling. Snakes got nothing on that!
MC_Rap
Seth Rogen, Robin Quivers, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Ray Park as Master Chief in The Usual Suspects 2: Citizens on Patrol. Directed by Uwe Boll
MC_Rap
Did you hear. Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green totally broke up. You think i got a shot?
discdeath
Whilst Storm stewed in the narcotic concoction she had injected into her face, and the Joker spoke with JetPackMan, Master Chief stood in silence, sobbing inside his suit.
mitsurgi1
"So then i was like you know what mom The Rocketeer was the shit and slammed the van door"
KWEENBEE
"Actually, I am supposed to be a Nazi with a severe addiction to cofee...see the Mr. Coffee maker on my back?"
InfernalNoob
Look Pal, Just Because I Liked One Of Ledger's Roles, That Doesn't Mean I'll Put On A Cowboy Hat And Role Play Another.
BrentRich
Grandmother, I think it is about time to stop trying to apply makeup on your face. You are just embarassing me in front of my friends.
uber_panda
East Village's version of the Wizard of Oz was quite controversially. Mostly because their Dorothy was black.
polancoj16
so I died in combat storm was murderd by magneto the joker comited suicide now who the hell are you.
polancoj16
so I died in combat,storm was murderd by magneto, the joker comited suicide(no pun intended) and who the hell are you.
Pray_For_Mojo
No matter how much make up you put on Jon Voight he still looks like a wrinkly old fuck
drgirlfriend24
"So why are you in hell?" "I knocked myself off... oh and sold my soul to the devil for mediocre acting creds."
BillWilliams
Yeah, his costume is lame dude, but he's two places further up in the line.
dramdan
"And another thing, you won't believe this but I've been with more women than Gene Simmons... honest!"
terrordactyl
Somewhere they crossed the line between great halloween costume and pedophile
Stardust_Ukitsu
'...Are you sure he said eight o' clock?' 'Yup. Eight o' clock- put on the jet-pack and split.'
WD40
In hindsight it was a good idea not to cast Judd Nelson as the Joker or Rupaul as Storm.
Unbeknownst
"Ah what the hell, I'll just put an imaginary gun to my head and end this misery already"
tsolless
Even these four stand to the side of the room as they witness the most awkward orgy imaginable.
87gn
You like those boobs? I made them with my Boob-Blaster Backpack here. You want them bigger? No problem, I can put that on your credit card too if you'll let me use your phone. You just have to have her back in two hours or less or we send the big du
WarrenGHarding
The finalists at the annual "Actors Whose Careers are Over" cosplay contest.
WarrenGHarding
The comic-con was yesterday. We're here for the dance contest, and you 'bout to get SERVED.
picc01
"I sure hope I get the part of Cheer Bear in this live action remake of the Care Bear's movie..."
stueymon
So, an English man, as Irish man, a Scottish man and a Welsh woman walk into a Bar...
87gn
What happens in the Motel 6 lobby stays in the Motel 6 lobby. Unless some jerk calls the cops!
brucexedwards
I heard once we go Black, we'll never go back. So, let's take a moment and really think about this first.
killbotdestroyo
"Yeah well, 'The Rocketeer' didn't have a sequel so you can just park your ass over there."
TheGreenGoblin
"Should I talk to her? I should talk to her. No, I should put on my helmet, THEN talk to her."
orangedave
A badass, a psycho, a geek, and a mutant walk into a hotel lobby...tell me if you've heard this one...
dogstar721
The worst double blind date was about to get literal, Storm was desperate enough to give Rocket Man her number, and he was stupid enough to ask the Joker for a pencil
feralboy12
Get real, readers. This is probably a fantasy-sci fi convention. If you think no one has sex at those things, you need to get out more. Virgin jokes, indeed.
Lavender
Due to the success of American Idol, it's not understood why the Galaxy Idol auditions had such a low turnout.
edanman99
Ok i seriously better make the next super smash brothers or ill be fucking PISSEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
exnihilo
Apparantley the guy to your right didn't get the memo about the correct boots to wear.
liveincolor
"So what if I just rolled my khaki work pants up to make my costume?! She stole a swim suit from an Olsen twin and you're not giving her shit! Oh... boobies. Right."
Roland_Deschain
"What's wrong with this guy's chest?" "I think this might be one of those Woh-men we keep hearing about."
dead_alewives
"...at this year's comic-con, I mean E3, I mean..wait, what the hell is happening here again?
WD40
The Breakfast Club 2-Villains and Heroes. Rocketeer to Joker, "so I tell Vernon to eat my shorts so then I bought myself another Saturday of detention and then I proceeded to tell him that I will also be free the Saturday after that, but then I said
Imp_of_Perverse
it cant be real!...a Comic-con Craption where the nerds can get lai...never mind, I think Storm might be Mike Tyson
kennysr
no, really, i'll just take your word for it..just leave that pencil behind your ear...please..
CaptionDatAss
"I thought you were gonna dress up as a character from Full Metal Jacket?" "I did. I'm Private Joker."
LeonBug
"Psst... hey Joker. Is that a girl behind me? I've never seen a girl at ComicCon before. Actually, I've never seen a girl before."
Neighbor18
"So you guys are here for the new Marvel vs DC? Wait, why is Master Chief here?" "He's in fucking everything now"
JigIsUp
storm and the joker knew never to look directly at the chief, however, bobba fett had no such qualms.
Matt.Conrad
this cant be possible, no room can contain the awesomeness of both the joker and master chief
Spunk
Sex in the back of a car was going to be a new and exciting experience for Storm...and Storm alone.
1.21jigawatt
Okay, stop me if you heard this one before: the Joker, A Ghostbuster and a Hooker are waiting for a bus when...
1.21jigawatt
I forget the name of the little square-robot, what comicbook is it from again?
1.21jigawatt
Dude, if you don't want to talk just say so. Don't act like you're on a call...
1.21jigawatt
a comicbook police line-up: it was the one on the far left that stole my Bike !
KWEENBEE
I don't know what's so hard to understand. I'm a Nazi with an extreme addiction to caffine...see the Mr. Coffee strapped to my back?
KWEENBEE
This always happens. We always stand by the wall while all the cool fictional people dance. No fair!
KWEENBEE
Storm thinks "I'm concentrating really hard and these geeks have still not been struck by lightening.....WTF?!
Fat_John
the DM says that we are going on an epic journey....ok let role to see who get to get called a douche bag first.
OvaltinePatrol
Damn! Don't they know they lose resale value if they're out of their basements?
Mediatwin
Sex And The City 2059 - and Carrie tells Samantha to go easier on the make-up.
Cawdor
Hmm, lets see... make-up, dyed longish hair, stylish clothes... yep you match the description of "girl". Please allow me entrance to your vagina.
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