Other Craptions

In Soviet Russia, tampon inserts woman.

Face-Toilet! ... apply directly to the face ... Face-Toilet!

BILLY MAYS HERE FOR THE TROCKENHAUBE! IS YOUR... DO YOU... um... ONLY 12.99, BUT YOU GOTTA ACT NOW! HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!

The bukakke hair shield.

If dumb blondes made gas masks...

"What are you going to be for Halloween?" "A cavity."

For $12.99, it had better come with the woman.

Good, it's a 24 pack!

Scientology now has a wide range of accessories for home use.

Ahh yes, the Trockenhaube, the world's finest spoon looking. . . whale penis looking. . . hat mask thing ever designed, and yes it does come in a size 24.

Never pay sticker price, the damn things are on sale at Wal-Mart for only 11.49.

New to lesbianism? Learn how to eat pussy with the new Dyke-Right training helmut.

Amy, you look a little flushed...

I just can't stop imagining how sexy that would look going down on me...

A model with no ears has to take every job opportunity, no matter how demeaning.

The potty-mouth training kit.

From the creators of the straitjacket, the straithelmet will prevent those annoying brainstains on the sanitarium walls.

Ahhhh, Germany...Japan's wannabe cousin.

I've heard of getting shitfaced, but...

Does this toilet seat make my face look fat?

These Nintendo Wii accessories just keep getting more and more confusing.

Wii bukkake.

Sadly it's selling blue shirts.

You'll never have to worry about guys staring at your rack ever again!

Germany: I have a tough time believing these guys destroyed Europe ... twice

"Well, I KNOW it's hideous, but there are TWENTY FOUR of them!"

Oh, good. I hate it when my €12.99 hooker gets her hair mussed during sex.

Alleviate the rectal discomfort associated with her bony face! Make rim-jobs fun again with the new Trockenhaube!

Insert senseless sperm joke here. Get hundreds of votes. Life is good.

Ve haf de Trockenhaube. Vill keepen the spooge from de fraulein's coif.

It's a blonde catcher. The other side says 'Shoe Sale Inside!'

This way you don't get any of him in your hair

My name is Divine(single). I was impressed when i saw your profile today at www.cracked.com and i will like to establish a long lasting relationship with you...

ahh germany...making japanese businessmen appear sexually functional and normal since 1945

Hi! Billy Mays here! Ever have trouble hitting the toilet with your projectile puke!?

The new east german toilet seat: No more inconvenient interior plumbing! Mobile! Convert any room to a bathroom! Automatic Wipe Feature!

Now women can be dickheads too.

Yeah, right. That'll keep the government from reading your mind.

IT'S A HAIRDRYER YOU ASSHOLES

I don't think even Billy Mays would touch that with a 10-foot Comfort Wipe

Helga was tired of being called a dumb blonde so she invented the perfect disguise. That'll show'em!

Because when your husband beats you, you shouldn't have to mess up your hair.

My sperm has your face written all over it

Trockenhaube = Target practice

The spoon Wynonna Judd uses to lose weight, only 12.99!

Honey? We're out of Trockenhaube, make sure you get the 24 pack.

The next porn fetish has arrived.

I'm so horny right now!

"Dammit, I'm too *pretty* to be modeling this shit."