crazyivan
BILLY MAYS HERE FOR THE TROCKENHAUBE! IS YOUR... DO YOU... um... ONLY 12.99, BUT YOU GOTTA ACT NOW! HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!
dmophatty
Ahh yes, the Trockenhaube, the world's finest spoon looking. . . whale penis looking. . . hat mask thing ever designed, and yes it does come in a size 24.
quagmyre
Never pay sticker price, the damn things are on sale at Wal-Mart for only 11.49.
Ed_Gein
New to lesbianism? Learn how to eat pussy with the new Dyke-Right training helmut.
nimo
From the creators of the straitjacket, the straithelmet will prevent those annoying brainstains on the sanitarium walls.
spectre_vampire
These Nintendo Wii accessories just keep getting more and more confusing.
theburning
Alleviate the rectal discomfort associated with her bony face! Make rim-jobs fun again with the new Trockenhaube!
Zounds!
My name is Divine(single). I was impressed when i saw your profile today at www.cracked.com and i will like to establish a long lasting relationship with you...
Todzilla
Hi! Billy Mays here! Ever have trouble hitting the toilet with your projectile puke!?
crhino
ahh germany...making japanese businessmen appear sexually functional and normal since 1945
theburning
The new east german toilet seat: No more inconvenient interior plumbing! Mobile! Convert any room to a bathroom! Automatic Wipe Feature!
mama1974
Helga was tired of being called a dumb blonde so she invented the perfect disguise. That'll show'em!
eastcoastghost
“OMG! I went to a party last night and a girl there was wearing the exact same trockenhaube; it was so embarrassing.”
The23
Trockenhaube! Apply directly to the forehead! Trockenhaube! Apply directly to the forehead! Trockenhaube! Apply directly to the forehead!
Leaf
Why do they make the packaging SO FUCKING DIFFICULT to get off the mail-order brides?!
Todzilla
Well little Jimmy, if you can't tell me where the bad man touched you, maybe you can tell little miss Trockenhaube.
Unbeknownst
Cristina Applegate`s frozen milk mask makes the germans go einen schönen tag allerseits!
picc01
Billy Mays here! Now you too! In the comfort of your own home, YOU can make quality "face-shaped" pancakes just like a professional chef!
nimo
Unfortunately, the Trockenhaube that Evander Holyfield ordered arrived the day after the Mike Tyson fight.
CaptionDatAss
Billy Mays here for the Barf-O-Tron 3000: the *NEW* portable toilet for bar-hopping binge drinkers!
jekelish
Okay, I was wrong. I guess "Sperm" really is the hot new Halloween costume this year.
spectre_vampire
Not the most subtle way to tell you she wants a baby, but whatever works.
gm_zero
"Agent 43 here... I've infiltrated the large sentient soup spoon central base... No one suspects a thing.."
ChaxC
Oh Obdewlla, give me your tiny rubber love, you tiny potato headed whatcha-ma-callit.
ChaxC
Ideen Welt's new Trockenhaube. Dry your hair and wash your mind with soothing waves of LSD and Psylocybe. Trockenhaube take me away!
necroblade404
"Trockenhaube! Lose your friends! Confuse your enemies! Become the life of the party! TROCKENHAUBE!"
SteveHardon
Good thing she's good-looking, no WAY I'd buy that thing from some ugly chick
Unbeknownst
After Married With Children ended things really went downhill for poor Christina.
HMSFU
"No.. no, I can't!" "You want to be famous don't you? I can make you famous! Now... put it on your face.. yes perfect."
NotEsquire
Those clever Germans finally made mustache rides more comfortable for everyone.
DuchessOfPrunes
Obdewlla, you little vagrant! Don't be pulling the boy's chain too hard, he's got another show to do tomorrow!
sgt.salt
have you ever woken up and thought to yourself "Hey, ya know what i wish? i wish my head looked more like a giant sperm!" well do we have the product for you!!
CaptionDatAss
"Wait, let me guess what your Halloween costume is before you tell me. Hmm, well you've got a toilet seat around your head... so... you must be 'shitfaced'!!!"
dandaman
"Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me... I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too..."
Zaphod
Use only as directed... and once we find out what the fuck this thing is actually used for, we'll get back to you.
Wolverin
what does the 24 hours thing mean on the bottom? Do germans wear these all day?
wquates
Leave it to the Germans to create a way to see things from a white person's point of view.
j.kimm
If you go to Costco, they only sell them in the 144 pack. It's a much better buy.
dresnok
sorry cracked.com, can't think of anything to say that would make this more hilarious
bafaulkner
That's SIZE 24, not a 24 PACK. Don't you guys have Trockenhaube where you're from?
eastcoastghost
“Hey diaper face! Why are you wearing a diaper on your face? Stupid diaper face. Will you go out with me?”
Zounds!
This is what Divine230's personal pics look like...I dunno guys...could be worth looking into...
BONERJAM
It's so much easier to take a piss when you piture a young women's face in the toilet bowl.
Unbeknownst
What the fuck does that device do?. The answer , my friend, is blowin' your hair, the answer is blowin' your hair...
eastcoastghost
“Fellas are you sick and tired of your cheating wife folding like lawn chair after the first right hook? Make sure she learns her lesson by staying conscious with Trockenhaube”
CaptionDatAss
"12.99 Euros! What a deal!" *gets rung up* "OK, sir, that'll be $523 US Dollars."
BagABones
Why didn't smokey the bear have kids? Everytime his wife got hot he hit her in the face with a shovel.
Roland_Deschain
You could wear that, or you could just avoid a beating altogether by staying in the kitchen.
Iceland
Fuckin' Head-on, fuckin' Michael Bay, fuckin' previousy on Lost, fuckin' in Soviet Russia something something YOU! fuckin' 30 seconds later France blah blah blah...
Daelstrom
Hi, Vince with Trockenhaube here, it's made in Germany, you know the Germans make good stuff.
Fasckira
Domestic Violence Cushion - soften the blows while allowing your husband a clean shot!
feralboy12
While time-travelling, I popped in on a wedding ceremony of the future--and giggled.
Dunstin Checks Out
Women's Boxing Helmet: Protects your ears, but also lifts and separates.
Zounds!
Is it wrong that I want to pork her out..you know...cuz she's clearly retarded or something...
lismartarse
Brenda felt so indecent once those 2 infomercial dudes stole her giant blue headgear
Unbeknownst
Cristina Applegate's workout helmets for lady astronauts are all the rage in Germany.
zewhatcher
Yes, you too can have this fabulous face for only 10 easy payments of $12.99. But wait! There's More!
eastcoastghost
In America we don’t need any crazy contraptions to shit on a hooker’s face! In your face Germany!
Zounds!
Thought of the Day: If the Allies had lost WW2...we would all be wearing one of these right now.
shogun1204
Man, they come in a 24 pack now! Sweet now when I crap on my girlfriends face I can just throw the poop pad pillow away!
DuchessOfPrunes
Yes, clutch the galoinker of your Trockenhaube, clutch it, squeeze it, pull it... harder! HARDER!!!
CopperbeltJack
Cusion-on-a-Stick gives you mobile comfort! WARNING: May cause social discomfort.
Leaf
"I can see Scotty and Kimberly and Julie and Jimmy and Kelly and all of you boys and girls out there!"
CopperbeltJack
The Motorboat Simulator gives you the feeling like YOUR the breasts! Just a push of the button and away you go!
Zounds!
I've heard of "Furries"...but never "Spoonies." Whatever gets you off I guess...
HEADSHOT
Just lay down on the floor, and TARAAAN A cleaner version of Two Girls and a Cup
Zounds!
Someone is performing auto-erotic asphyxiation to this right now. (Hint: It's not David Carradine.)
jampage
I don't get it. How do you Americans dry your hair then if you don't have head nappies?
spydrmunkie
"so, you say my car doesn't have air bags and i don't feel safe. well friend, do i have a new produce for you!
CaptionDatAss
"I can see Scotty and Kimberly and Julie and Jimmy and Kelly and Bobby and Billy and..." -Miss Molly, Romper Room
lowkey
If you are having trouble figuring out what this is for, just remember it's brought to us by the same people that gave us WWI, WWII, the Holocaust, and scat porn.
Iceland
Tired of your sex partners splooging in your hair? Introducing the Trockenhaube...
MadnessInKL
Tired of resting your face on uncomfortable toilet seats? Why not get Trockenhaube, available where all fine goods are sold.
CaptionDatAss
Psychologist: "I think your mental condition has something to do with the way you were potty trained. Just a hunch."
iamquitebored
Women can try all they want for men to pay attention to what they're saying, but 3 seconds after noticing the wacky headgear,we're going right for the boobs again.
MC_Rap
OHHHH!?! That's how you use that thing? No wonder my ass feels like the Holland Tunnel
RobertByrd
Trockenhaube: Because You Just Happened to be Dating the One Man in the World Who Only Gets A Boner if You Dress like a Tooth!
augustmx
I hate it when my girlfriend sends me out to the store to get here feminine stuff.
CaptionDatAss
♫ Crap on! *flush-flush* Crap off! *flush-flush* Crap on, crap off... THE CRAPPER! ♫
Damiencrowley
Well, here in Good old Germany, there is one rule: if Christina Applegate can put the Tampon Helmet on, every woman can
DukeOfAwesome
Wow ever notice that the worst caption usually wins this bull shit? That's Cracked for awarding the trolls that do nothing but wait for the caption contest to come up all day.
Muscely_Arms
The newest and latest way to make sure your drunken night doesn't turn into a child filled like, just wrap around your head and squeeze the handle and hold it for 10 minutes, more effective than the morning after pill!
BluGil
After playing the spoon in the school musical, she figured she could further her career as an actor. However, it turned out she would stick to her original profession. It just fit.
Nerill
Babel fish says TROCKENHAUBE is "drying hood" - so does that mean it's a German tough guy desiccator? Oh, so very dry.
Spirolli
13 euros for a toilet brush costume. I mean come on'. At least throw in optional terd flakes to spread on the helmet.
InfernalNoob
Sure, it's looks awesome, but you just know it won't plug in to American Outlets
MrMISCHIEF
Apparently, the bed pan Halloween costume was Big in Germany, I'm talking Hasselhoff BIG.
Ometeotl
The "Big Toe" costumes didn't sell, so the company had to make them out to be something else.
n19eteen
I don't know what worried me more, the fact that she wanted to be a tampon for halloween or the fact that she actually found a costume.
Wolverin
germany may not be doing well on their rocket ships but I'll be darned if there futuristic head cushions aren't the wave of the future.
Mr.9MM
The Braun HLH 20 provides you with a dryer that has 4 hot and cool settings. It is not only quiet but a soft floating hood for unbelievable comfort. You can order it here: http://www.technikdirekt.de/main/en/koerperpflege-wellness/haarpflege/5237
Izlude
next time, lets invade Poland dressed as giant sperm, they'll never see it coming!
papajon0s1
Damn. Geuss what? 'Trockenhaube' doesn't meant wild erotic sex toys. I remain in bitter bitter disappointment...
crhino
now Gunter, does this bukake sponge helmet drain into a cup? its hard to tell from the photos
shogun1204
Man, I thought Japanese people really like the poop porn, but they apparently got nothing on Germany!
crhino
you put it on her head, slap her around, leaves no marks..made in germany so you know its good...sells itself
The23
Helga gazed longingly at Gerhardt, knowing that a head-pillow-thing model like herself could never win the affection of a handsome photographer's assistant. Their love was not to be.
shogun1204
Japanese Guy: "Awww you German people likey to make brown love on women face too!"
DeathXP
Oh. After some research I found out it's some kind of hair care product. I thought it was a giant sperm. Although given the latest article...
SteveHardon
..and NOW they're using mind probes to seduce our WOMEN?? Curse you aliens, now you've gone TOO far...
gypsy61
Number 24 Eva Deutsche was the first European inductee into the Bukake Hall of Fame, man could she take a shot to the face
dresnok
...only thing that make my life complete, is when I turn your face into a toilet seat...
Kraftsingles
You know, maybe shiza isn't considered porn in Germany, maybe it's just a way of life.
Versus
I see James... and Jason... and Jayden... (For anyone who remembers Romper Room.)
CaptionDatAss
"Romper, bomper, stomper boo. Tell me, tell me, tell me, do. Magic Mirror, tell me today. Have all my friends had fun at play?"
BillWilliams
Is that a pack of hair condoms for the Mosque, or are you just glad to see me?
spydrmunkie
the Stay-puff marshmallow man in the new ghostbusters movie just isn't cutting it
nimo
Oh yeah, that's what I want. A toilet seat with a face. You know I can never go pee when I'm being watched.
dynamicdustin
Although it did poorly in the states, the R. Kelly "Pee on Me" training kit was a hit in Germany.
spydrmunkie
What you say "i like infatable dolls but i have a real Girlfriend?" Well, have I got a product for YOU?
Sethor
One of the very few surviving Spartacus and the Sun Beneath the Sea Halloween costumes.
NotEsquire
Looking for that perfect gift for the lady who has everything... except hepatitis?
CaptionDatAss
The $12.99 Beauty Show is the new $1.98 Beauty Show. (They had to adjust for inflation.)
potzy
Ulga wondered if the Trokenhaube was the right career move after the disastrous ad campaign that was das Herpestein
crazy_curtis
Have you always wanted to look like sperm, but lacked the characteristic head? Well this product is for you!
msklauda
Oh wicked naughty Trockenhaube! You must tie her down and give her a good spanken!
OvaltinePatrol
I would have thought that Germans would have been able to engineer a better Iron Man suit.
iamquitebored
You think you can defeat me? I have tockenhaube. You do not have trockenhaube. why? because I have trockenhaube.
CocktailDad
When they told me I would get a bottomless scoop of ice cream, this isn't what I had in mind.
LrdChikn
Ladies tired of getting herpes from toilets after you throw up in them, want to protect wour shirt from vomit stains, introducing the Trockenhaube, for the Bulimic woman on the go
polancoj16
you want to know something? This advertisment actually makes me want to buy it.
Ranger
BUCKET HEAD BITCH from K-Tel. Keep your BITCH from licking her stitches (she got for not bringing you that fucking beer!). Only $19.99! ORDER NOW: NeilsNotes.com
WarrenGHarding
I didn't realize Germans celebrated Halloween. ... Or that being a sperm was such a popular costume.
BleedingSun
"Hey, Gina. They now make toilet seats for your face, to go with all the shit you talked about me!"
SteveHardon
Her friends could never figure out just what the fahrvergnugen new style she was into.
StandingBull
Fulfill all of you Cotton Swab fantasies with a new outfit for your girl to wear.
nirot
Normally, idiocy costs nothing. Thanfully, the Germans have patented that shit and milking it for all its worth.
jaynine
HI! Billy Mays here! Have you ever wished you had something soft to lay your head on when puking in the toilet? Well, try the latest in gut wrenching technology. It's SOFT! It's WATERPROOF! It's ANTIBACTERIAL! It even retains that soothing cold
jaynine
The guy who invented this device must have gone to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College with Dr. Nick.
jaynine
*You say Trockenhaube, I say Trakenhaube. You say Ideen Welt. I say Ideen Walt. Trockenhaube. Trakenhaube. Ideen Welt. Ideen Walt. Let's call the whole thing off.*
Chapu
If that's the german version, I would probably actually pay money to see what the Japanese trockenhaube looks like
Chapu
Aspiring actress: Ok, but you'll black out my eyes just like you promised, right? So my family doesn't have to see me doing this? Photographer: (rolls eyes) yeah yeah... just put the goddamn thing on already
mhtsos
NOTE:All models are used,and have been taped by the girl you see in the picture...
Chapu
Dear Ideen Welt, thanks to your trockenhaube now my horrible skull deformity will go unnoticed!!
Lavender
Dammit! WHO thought it would be funny, to place a Q-tip in the other transporter machine?!
Pitt
Made specifically for the porn industry, this device keeps the hair free of all those money shots.
MC_Rap
Unfortunately this actual size costume of Bababooey's tooth wasn't a big halloween seller
kesh
... and the blood soaks up right up till the head and facial area to allow people to observe your stage in the menstrual cycle.
Nastidon
Trockenhaube: Sanitary toilet guard, allows user to projectile vomit without no spillage!
smwoyak8
The new and IMPROVED TAMPON ANNOUNCER! Yes now you can show men it's your time of month and they'll avoid you like the plague. Or wear it in a bar and enjoy your evening free of annoying pickup lines delivered by drunken douchebags.
87gn
What a great deal! For 12.99 euro you get a hairdryer and no one will suspect that you are smuggling drugs and prostitutes in it! God only knows what the Satyr on the label suggests.
mrs.bombastic
Usually pillows go under your head without large holes in the middle. I think Germany is overthinking things to much.
Aardvark_Soup
Germany's most recent attempt to beat Japan and reclaim their status of weirdest country in the world.
energycondensed
Multi-purpose shovel of the future may be used to enforce blunt trauma if used correctly on your nearest and dearest. You may also wear it on your head as a get away disguise.
blurgh
Known for automotive innovation, German engineers were puzzled when the Trockenhaube "pedestrian airbag" sold poorly.
MadnessInKL
"Vince here, you're gonna want Trockenhaube, it's made by germans, and germans always make good things."
BurningChimaera
Queen Amidala's hairstyle is now beginning to catch on, spawning a variety of weird hair-care products.
ltoledo89
Golden showers Just got Easier!!! Act now, and we'll double your order for the face urinal! Thats right, only 12.99, and you can start pissing on TWO faces.
jwgreco
Does it come in...I think it would be better if...why does it have a...should I hold it with my...fuck it I'll take two of them.
masticator
you know that ice cream topping that hardens after a few seconds? its like that, but semen
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