GaseousClay
This parade will still be around long after all other parades have died in a nuclear holocaust.
sish2000
The 9th annual cockroach parade brought tens of dollars into the local economy
Fkelleghan
One morning Gregor Samsa awoke to find that he had turned from a giant bug into a human.
seannyb
And here we see the inevitable result of stem cell research. This concludes the tour of the Kansas Museum of Science.
Julius_Goat
You fool! First the dung beetles make you their king . . . then they ROLL YOU UP IN POO TO PLEASE THEIR GODS!
JCarlton
Ok, the Nuclear holocaust is coming. I regret to inform you that the rumors are bullshit, you will die a horrible death with your families... Sorry.
Ronin22
I went through 22 years of constipation to create this. You're damn right I want to put in the Guiness Book of World Records.
Ronin22
Man, I can't wait for them to invent sewers in Canada, the rush hour traffic is horrendous.
seannyb
The dung beetles really shouldn't be rising up against their food source like that.
ChaseMitchell
What — you've never seen a bunch of giant bugs clamoring for a big ball of shit while the guy on top with a t-shirt over his head mocks them by twirling a couple of showerheads around?
MC_Rap
The protest was quickly dispersed when they mayor turned on the lights and the protesters scrambled
mabogo
FORGET THE BLASTED 'RAID', WOMAN! JUST BRING ME MY GUN, AND STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!!!!!!!
CaptionDatAss
"Dr. Evil told us you were a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. We're here to bugger you."
Gimple
"Hi, BILLY MAY'S here with the new SPHERE OF TURD. That's right, from the makers of CUBE OF TURD and PILE OF SHIT, you've got this baby. It can roll UPHILL, and if you call now I'll make it roll DOWNHILL". The insects were by nature impulse buyers
Joe311
Perhaps H.P. Lovecraft's stories about creepy New England towns had some bearing in reality after all...
getittwistd
...and if you order in the next 10 minutes, I'll give you a 2nd set of Billy Mays Antenna Warmers for absolutely free! Just pay processing and handling!
Todzilla
Bug costumes: $230. Parade permit: $150. Riding through town on a giant ball of your own dung...priceless.
Rex-Jester
It would have been a great show of solidarity had the titroaches and assroaches participated.
Rex-Jester
Switzerland - Just outside the CERN headquarters, supporters and detractors of the Large Hadron Collider take their fight to the streets.
getittwistd
Umm, seriously dude, we were gonna eat that giant turd you're standing on...
Obtusetriangle
"Come my brethren and we shall overthrow the Great Spined Menace with out exoskeletons!"
MC_Rap
The shit spewed out of Dick Cheney's mouth only sounded sensible when he stood upon his ball of dung
crhino
and then lawyers everywhere revealed their true forms and they marched...oh how they marched
Emergance
To exterminate the enemy, we must think, dress, and look stupid like the enemy!
Dindersnorf
Wait! Obama said there would be change why are we still rolling shit around!
WOITAS
You've seen Will Smith battle aliens, zombies and robots ... Now he has an enemy 5 times more badass than all of them put together! The Dung Beetle.
panjin79
These FreeCreditReport.com commercials are starting to get a little ridiculous.
CaptionDatAss
"Those are japanese beetles." "How can you tell?" "They told me they like watching tentacle porn and bukkake films."
edanman99
"People listen to me! Just Listen! For too long have our people been oppressed. It is time we rose up and took back the surface! Beneath me sits our queens first fertile egg. When it hatches we shall become the masters of the surface! IT IS TIME!!!"
kengoldstein
Despite its best effort, Shreveport's "Running of the Crawfish" never could take the tourist trade away from Pamplona.
Wanderer
Seconds later, the suicide bomber who had been ready to kill everyone in the market melted into the crowd, wondering what the fuck was going on.
bafaulkner
Jose would do whatever he could to make La Cucaracha the official town theme song.
natebooze
What did one cockroach say to the other cockroach? Fuck i hate my fucking job...
Leaf
Dung Beetles are resourceful. First they scare the shit out of you, then they roll it away!
hadleydb
Like the traditional running of the bulls, the running of the bugs is a highlight in certain cultures.
MC_Rap
The dung beetles were disgusted when they found a human playing with their dinner
funispower
D'artangan knew he was in deep shit when the lobster people DID draw their swords.
papajon0s1
The Festival of San Vermin - Craploma Spain. The not quite as famous "Running of the Bullshit"
spydrmunkie
and then as quickly as it started, the dung beetle revolt failed because of poor planning in the weapon dept.
Unsaturated15
The director of the Beetle Bailey movie has clearly never seen the source material.
youatemyshoe!
Did I miss a memo where it's mandatory to vote for seannyb? The votes are questionable based on the material... The reason I come to cracked.com is to get away from the office politics & brown-nosing.
Unbeknownst
When you live in a remote mountain town you gotta do what you gotta do to have fun. Buggers can't be choosers.
MC_Rap
"...and we will not stop, we will not rest, we will not give up till cockroaches are allowed to get married!"
Leaf
When wishing for a new car make sure the genie knows exactly what a 'Volkswagen Beetle' is.
Zounds!
So I told him to "Eat Shit!" and he all "Thanks." Fuckin' weird I tell you...fuckin' weird...
Roscoe
Due to their lack of house training, Pamplona's bulls are usually followed by a Running of the Dung Beetles.
Leaf
Their leader, Mean Mr. Mustard and his wife Polythene Pam told me I was to Carry That Wait down The Long and Winding road all the way to Penny Lane... Fuck, I hate the Beetles...
CaptionDatAss
"CRAAAAB PEOPLE! CRAAAAAB PEOPLE! We look like crabs and we talk like people! CRAAAAAAAB PEOPLE! CRAAAAAAAB..."
NotEsquire
They really need to move those strong man competitions out of the third world.
Leaf
Their leader, Mean Mr. Mustard and his wife Polythene Pam told me I was to Carry That Weight down The Long and Winding Road all the way to Penny Lane... Fuck, I hate the Beetles...
CaptionDatAss
When surrounded by giant, man-eating insects, even the most hardened atheist quickly becomes a praying man (tis).
tfalcon21
When the economy and everything is shit might as well roll it into a ball and play with it!
CaptionDatAss
"All you giant, killer bugs can eat shit and die!" "Um, dude, we're dung beetles, that pretty much all we do."
SIMM0NS77
January 23, 1964. The Soviet Union launches its first nuclear attack against the US. Ted gathers the members of his small town to share his plan for survival.
CaptionDatAss
"All you giant, killer bugs can eat shit and die!" "Um, dude, we're dung beetles, that's pretty much all we do."
CaptionDatAss
"I always have MASSIVE wood when I leave a strip club," Phil casually admitted to his friends. Unfortunately, the termites were eavesdropping...
CaptionDatAss
The brave Knight defeated all the evil insects, and then rescued the damselfly in distress.
Chapu
Dear Europe: Japan is freaky, but you're plain weird, please cut it out. Sincerely The World
MadnessInKL
Ed and Carl finally tired of Tim's show boating and left him downtown New York.
magicalex
You:Honey! Are you sure that you used the cockroach ZAPPER? Your wife: Zapper? Oh I couldn't find it so I just used the miracle growth elixir
magicalex
Today was a perfect day until I found out that my house was infested by rats. Great. Now all I need are giant cockroaches to eat the rats. Oh. I was just kidding.
lynn_k_fletcher
At first Sisyphus thought Zeus had decided to have mercy on him. But after he saw what type of "assistance" the god had to sent his way, Sisyphus knew that Zeus had just added a new layer to his eternal hell.
r2daz
60,000 soldier! Now there ain't but 20,000 exterminators in this whole town, can you dig it? Can you dig it? CAN YOU DIG IT?
sarebroman
Humanity and insects join to find the biggest piece of shit in the world, the runner up Bill O'Reilly was not available for comment.
IPooonyu
The last remaining workers of the 3 mile Island nuclear spill want their dental benefits back.
quagmyre
Obama embarrasses USA, swats a frikkin fly. Meanwhile Castro herds 6 foot cockroaches.
rivrav
yes come out of the dark my brothers we need not fear the light, be it the sun or the refridgerator
NightOwl26335
"In your ad, Mr. Exterminator, you claim that no job is too big, you can start here ...."
lynn_k_fletcher
I know we're in a foreign country, Hank, but honestly they all look alike to me.
BleedingSun
Surprisingly, the 1st annual RoachFest in Bluefield, West Virginia, was not as momentous as they expected it to be.
potzy
"A Day without a Cuckaracha" seems to be having the adverse reaction we envisioned
crazy_curtis
And he turned the one crumb he found under the fridge into hundreds of crumbs, and his followers ate and were satisfied.
satur92002
Protesting for the rights of pubic lice, PETA went a bit far with their latest demonstration.
Ronin22
It may be the only thing I'm good at, but I can roll the hell on this ball of shit. Suck it you dung beetles.
bilbo1
And so The Three Stooges disappeared with the colony of dung beetles, never to be seen again
spectre_vampire
They all laughed at me when I said I wanted to be an Orkin Man. Well, who's laughing now, bitches?
bafaulkner
The Orkin Man knew that it was going to be a bad day when Leroy brought his new gang into town.
anarcurt
The town's new supervillian, Captain Coch, leads his infestation into the town center. No turd is safe.
bilbo1
Pour some LSD in the towns water supply, he says. What could it hurt, he says. Tom you are an ass.
twiglet
Alright now do it properly this time, jesus christ noone is going to take us seriously at this rate!
slarso
And I, for one, welcome our insect overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.
crhino
what the fuck happened to UPS? I mean is it me or have they just taken this brown thing too far?
feralboy12
Today, we march on city hall! And there, we will buzz around the lights and repeatedly smack our heads against the windows!
bit
Given the fossil fuel shortage, government technicians took a trip to Bugland to evaluate their alternative transportation system.
Hallo457
The world according to Bono, everyone else is a cockroach and he can get away with doing stupid things.
jjok
PETA protesting Obama's recent visit to France where at least 2 innocent victims were violently killed.
dandaman
"Yessir, I remember the day the lobsters took over our town... I had the best view of the massacre in all of Maine."
Murphistopheles
It was then he realized, his medicated shampoo and comb weren't going to work this time.
bafaulkner
60 Minutes has gone to hell ever since they let Jerry Springer join the show.
picc01
...And in today's news...the quaint village of Duselhiem, Germany was overcome with Homosexual fire ants burning with desire...more at 11
improvcomedy14
Finally- A world where exterminators and roaches can co-exist peacefully.
twiglet
Alan bowed his head in dismay as his brother james failed for the eighth time to explain the concept of pluming to the crowd.
AlucardJones
For all that he said or did they all knew Steve would always be King of the Cockroaches.
Dunstin Checks Out
In Germany the annual shit parade rarely draws a crowd though it receives numerous hits online.
Louynch
The church of Scientology entry to the st Patricks day parade was ...... unusual.
classie
Mike and his crew found the Cockroach nation surprisingly easily to conquer with plastic tubing, and surprisingly similar to South America. Uh oh.
katamariape
Little known fact: Jupiter is ruled by dung beetle slave drivers and actually resembles a quaint New England town
jreese
when I said "go ahead and roll one using roaches", this wasn't quite what I had in mind.
jaynine
After all that work, Bug-Co's new pesticide has the opposite of the intended effect.
AHighTechAmish
Much to everyones surprise the dung beatle also survived the nuclear appocalypse, enslaving the last remnants of humanity to help fuel their war agains the loathsome Roach Empire.
classie
Mike's jumpsuit with a picture of a bug was surprisingly effective in convincing the bug overlords that he was among them.
Louynch
Bug Leader: "attack the human's Balls, that is their most vulnerable area". "Why isn't it working!?"
Louynch
With the live action version of 'A Bug's Life', Disney proved that at this point they were just grasping at straws
picc01
Next on "Circus of the Stars": Clay Akin does his death defying feat next to a bunch of cock...roaches!
inmate42392
"Oh, when the Saints... oh, when the Saints... oh, when the Saints come marching in..."
empleryEntrance
Roll, roll, roll your poo / gently down the street / carefully, carefully, carefully, carefully! It sticks to my feet...
Boxy
We have the city it is ours to do as we wish. Psst Todd I have seen tat look before he's gone crazy. Who the hell want to take over New Orleans?
katamariape
Little known fact: on Jupiter, Dung beetles have enslaved humans to roll their dung balls and build New England town replicas
Adamgoodtime
Am I the only one to notice that Gods eyebrows are clearly visible in the sky?
CavalierX
The Million-Bug March moves towards Washington to protest Obama's swatting of an innocent fly.
Isanta
And Roaches said unto his people.. "Upon my ball of dung thou shalt survive the flood."
Versus
Within seconds of being invaded by a horde of "Ass-Crack Beetles", France surrendered.
chimaera42
Please choose from the following: A. You're move, Orkin Man B. Thanks, eHarmony! C. Previously, on Lost D. THIS. IS. SPARTA!!! E. 250 miles away, France surrendered F. Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?
Versus
Desperate to improve his free throw percentage, Shaq gets his head pummeled by cockroaches.
MC_Rap
Arthur was proclaimed dung king when he was the only one who was able to remove ExScatlibur from the poo
paolocastellim
i'm soooo calling my agent, this is not the "nuclear hollocaust musical" i was promised
darrengoode
Grand Marshall Tim Burton organizes the parade celebrating the 85 anniversary of Franz Kafka's death.
SonofMakuta
And here we see the cockroaches in their natural habitat, worshipping an edifice of the Giant Stone Bollock Highwayman.
Joey_09876
"See, the Running of the Ants wasn't attracting many people, so then we thought 'Steroids!'"
Crusherkin
They said rock out with your cock out, but I lost mine during a freak extermination accident. So I improvised.
Zounds!
We shall defend our dung-ball, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
TommyTen
In protest of President Obama merciless killing of an inocent fly, the local PETA chapter organizes an insect apreciation parade.
fiftycals
And so I say unto thee, bring fire about their buttocks and thighs until they scream in agony!
jakamneziak
starts signing bill bailey" HUMAN SLAVES..........to the insect nation, UH HAAAAAHH HAH, HUMAN SLAVES..."
mrxenomorph
Cockroaches you say? I guess it's time to put our pants in our soc... WHOAAA HOLY SHIT!!!1!!
eastcoastghost
“You haven’t lived until you’ve ridden a giant-cockroach propelled ball of dung through the Swiss Alps” said the lead exterminator self-righteously.
CaptionDatAss
A teen lives near me & is BLASTING his guitar in his parents' garage w/ the DOOR OPEN! 1-man garage bands don't exist, fucktard! I can't think of any funny captions 'cause of YOU!
CaptionDatAss
The sequel to A Bug's Life will be entitled A Thug's Life and it will take place in Compton.
eastcoastghost
"You are the ones that are shit out of luck!" yelled the laid-off exterminators as they rolled through town.
dynamicdustin
After uniting the "Planet of the Apes," Caesar went on to unite the "Planet of the Cockroaches."
panjin79
Dressed in a jumpsuit, standing on a big plastic ball of shit - mom would be so proud.
kiez
Flailing-Dildo-Ninja-Roaches, Flailing-Dildo-Ninja-Roaches, Heroes in a turd pile, Dildo power!
CaptionDatAss
"I always have MASSIVE wood when I leave a strip club," Phil casually admitted to his friends. Unfortunately, the cockroaches were eavesdropping...
CaptionDatAss
The bugs get revenge on Joe Rogan for all the shit he pulled on Fear Factor.
CaptionDatAss
Carl jumped wildly in the air, flailing his arms about; he had ants in his pants. Little did he know, there were others who wanted to get in his pants too.
eastcoastghost
This picture bugs me. That's right I fucking typed that shit! It's very punny! Get it. Off to sit in the garage with car running...
CaptionDatAss
Franky wandered onto the wrong side of Sesame Street, and soon was surrounded by The Twiddlebugs gang.
WarrenGHarding
And you will know my name is the LORD, when I spray my veneance upon thee.
mark93
after there succesful conquest the cockroaches lead their arcnemesises through town in a magnificent parade
WarrenGHarding
"You yell 'Ant,' everybody goes, 'Huh? What?' ... But you yell 'Cockroach' ... and we've got a panic on our hands, on the 4th of July."
LeonBug
Three secret agents were able to infiltrate the giant beetle colony but were discovered shortly after rolling the dungball up the hill.
CaptionDatAss
Meet The Beetles! featuring Ringworm Starr, John Larvae, Paul McCartflea, and George Hairyspider. The first single is "I Wanna Be Your Mantenna."
WarrenGHarding
This has nothing to do with radiation. Anyone can see these bugs were Intelligently Designed.
Misterberu
My brothers, you have been oppressed for far too long. Now is the time to rise up! Rise up, and stand against the one who has made your lives living hell. Brothers... it is time to destroy the Orkin man.
Gimple
"Wow the beatles here are disgusting." "Sir they're not beatles they're ... europeans"
Gimple
"We come from a land where disgusting things can roam around in their own filfth as they please! We call this land ... detroit"
Gimple
"Bring me your sex slaves! I need one who's abused vajina like cave can take a dong as big as this stick!" "Who the hell told him we had Brtiney Spears?!"
Gimple
Ted asked how much LSD he'd have to swallow to imagine being king of a world infested with mutant roaches. The answer? Enough to shit a turd the size of Chuck Norriss' left nut.
Gimple
"You lobsters are DISGUSTING, I SHALL KILL YOU ALL"; Bill's efforts to please the strange species was hampered by his inability to grasp concepts such as tact and diplomacy.
CaptionDatAss
Anyone else notice that the redhead in Starship Troopers had really weird tits?
Gimple
After escaping jail the three delinquents celebrated atop an ornamental ball during an exotic Swedish celebration. Unfortunately this sphere is known as the ball of rape, whoever who stands upon it doomed to perpetual ass pounding by the surrounding
Gimple
"Oh God. They're not even HUMAN". The three sexual swashbucklers were disgusted by the sight of the french red light district.
MasterDuncan03
The rapture finally comes, years after the human race has been enslaved by nuclear roaches.
CaptionDatAss
Earwig van Beethoven conducts a symphony of chirping crickets and singing cicadas.
Gimple
Gimple desperately wrote as many captions as possible. Sadly it was too late, for some captions had already gained ground in this cuthroat world of craption making.
CaptionDatAss
Lakers fans rioted in the streets of LA in celebration of the 2009 NBA Championship. They were all drunk on Gnatty Ice.
PeptoOverdose
and we will not go quietly into the night...today we celebrate OUR independence day!
CaptionDatAss
Weevil Knievel stunned crowds by jumping over giant ant hills and huge hornets' nests.
CaptionDatAss
"How do you know they want to kill you?" "Because those are assassin bugs!!!"
mcjiggles
Now would be a good time for someone to make a doodoo joke, but that would be immature...doodoo...Ha... doodoo.
wityadidja
Give me your tired, your poor, your dung, yearning to be rolled through the streets.
j.kimm
Pedro sez: In my country, we celebrate La Cucaracha, umm, the cock-a-roacha. It ees mucho like you have Tierrapuerco, the ground-a-hog. Adios Seniors and Senoras. I'll be here all semana...
j.kimm
Oh Dung beetle, It's after Five and I haven't submitted a craption yet. JEEZ-LOUISE thats gonna leave an unpleasant after-taste.
lynn_k_fletcher
Oh we loathe the old one. Oh we loathe....Hey Bob, is that a flying monkey?
87gn
The Spanish have never quite mastered Mardi Gras, for which the French are eternally grateful. It makes one time & place where they will always rule & will never have to surrender!
JayMJ
"Due to budget cuts this year, running with the bulls will now be running with the bugs. Sorry for any inconvenience caused"
OvaltinePatrol
"I have resisted the lure of the glowing lights, I have bested the roach motel, and now I have bested your dung-master! By law and by right, I am now...king of the roaches, fuck."
87gn
Dateline Pamplona, Spain, July 7, 2009. After the running of the bulls, the dung beetle wranglers take to the streets and restore sanitary conditions.
87gn
The dung-beetle debutant's coming out ball was the social event of the season in Yakshitstan .
deathbyjohnny
Okay Mary, when you said you had crabs I was upset... but this is a new level.
Andytony
"Can we rape him?" "SHH. Only if he falls." "Ah. Of course." **beat** "Jinx!!!"
NightOwl26335
Suddenly, after seeing the hungry bystanders, the bugs realized that protesting in Little China Town may not have been a well thought out plan
Stazmo
An offshoot of Furries, The Exoskeletons meet for some proboscis on thorax action.
Damiencrowley
The humanoid scarabeii sacrifieced another ten years rolled up shitball and as a plus put a figure of their most hated enemy out of shit on top for underlining their biddings...
H1tman007
afrter hundreds of years of being eaten and shat out by cheese eating surrender monkeys, the snails decided enough was enough
gyroscope
We must have taken a wrong turn somewhere. We need to find the [i]shit[/i] pile not the jew pile.
rmmcgrath
After years of developing resistance to various antibiotics and pesticides, the cooties became so brazen that they organized a Cootie Pride Parade.
TheMightyBooth
Everyone's so busy nowadays, even the dung beetles don't wait until you've finished squeezing one out.
Elliebobelly
Before the first frost the dung beetles herd their prize winning shit-balls though human settlements and on to market.
kesh
WUHHHM.. WHUMMM.. WHUM 'He is the whirling pipe piper! To ride the town of bugs!' says the mayor. This is why I hate shopping, and people,' said Dave.
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