Other Craptions

Again with Sarah Jessica Parker...

"Tonight... I ride YOU."

They make Krazy glue from psychologically disturbed horses.

This is Cracked.com so I have to mention the sperm on the horse's face.

When Mr Ed gives you "Blue Steel", you take a fuckin' picture!

What's sad is that someone took a picture of it.

His eyes are glued to you. His hooves are glue to you.

Fuck you and the horse you ro---... um, okay, just... fuck *you* then, I guess.

My Little Psychopathic Murder Pony.

All the king's horses and all the king's men? Are you kidding me? No wonder they couldn't put Humpty together again. Just what did those idiots expect the horses to do, anyway?

Devil Eyes is 9:1 to win the Derby

"Mr. Reeve, I don't think you want to ride that horse" .... but it was too late....

"Maybe we shouldn't have buried Seabiscuit in that creepy pet cemetary."

"OK, the tiger got Roy, but I'm gonna tear Siegfrid to fucking PIECES."

All Glory to the Hypno Horse!

He's pissed because he just found out what gelding means.

Mick Jagger was forced to concede that there were, in fact, some wild horses that could tear him away.

This shit is stupid, whoever comes up with a half witty comment at exactly 12 pacific time gets votes. When really there are about 200 better ones than the one that is currently leading. This is especially true today.

My Little Satanic Pony - Now only $6.66.

Don't make Sarah Jessica Parker angry. You wouldn't like Sarah Jessica Parker when she's angry.

You don't know the POWER... of the dark side of the horse.

Wilbur! Your soul is mine!

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Ed.

The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "neigh."

For obvious reasons Pissfucker Stinkeye was a long-shot to win at Preakness.

the only mustang America can still afford to drive.

Seabiscuit? Meet Saw-biscuit.

I swear to God!!!! the next person that calls me Sarah Jessica Parker is a DEAD MAN!

What the fuck are you lookin' at?

And next on the Jell-o factory tour....

Coming Winter of 2012; Mr. Ed isn't going to take your SHIT.. anymore.. Time to die..

Aaaand coming up around the bend it's StaresWhileYouMasturbate!!!!!

Next time you "beat a dead horse", make sure its dead first, otherwise expect repercussions.

It was only a one horse town, but it was a very mean horse.

Actually I'm a broom.

Whinney motherfucker, do you speak it!?

Look deeply into my eyes - more hay!

Where Crazy Glue comes from.

"I'm your worse night mare."

The mob never put this horse's head in anybody's bed, that much I promise you.

My nemesis Flicka

The Ghost/Horse Whisperer crossover was perhaps inevitable.

Barbaro, surprising his many fans, did NOT end up in heaven after his unfortunate Kentucky Derby demise.

I think I've found Iron Maiden's new mascot!

“I ate his oats with some fava been and a nice chianti”

Man, I love owning a glue company! And being a jockey. Too bad my horse broke its leg. Who wants to play horseshoes? What? What do you mean that horse is looking at me?

"I am NOT too drunk to ride this horse...I mean these horses...I mean this horse."

That's right, Ringo, it's the saddle that says "Bad Mother Fucker...."

Okay, new strategy.... Let him win the race.