Other Craptions

Wow... I never knew alien sperm glowed like that.

...and THAT'S why I was late for work.

Roswell that ends well.

Scientologist's Nativity Scene

"They're finally learning. This one doesn't even have an asshole."

"Hold on — why are we just flashing him with a bunch of pointless lights?" "I dunno. The captain said something about giving him a 'banal strobe.'"

Worst ride at Universal Studios

What happens in Gleebglorb STAYS in Glebglorb.

Oh no! this species only has 3 holes!

Anal probe? No that's those other guys. Now turn and cough, please.

where do we put our dicks?

And this way, she's still TECHNICALLY a virgin!

We come to get a piece of ass... errrr, I mean come in peace.

"Okay, Scully. Where's your rational explanation NOW?"

I'm sick of these earthlings using our free health care.

Janice didn't panic until she heard the Barry White music start

Anal Probe 4: Too Hot For TV!!!!

C'mon, that background is TOTALLY fake!

You forgot the Hula hoop?! But I can't prove she's levitating without a Hula hoop!!

Dude, I wouldn't touch that chick with a 10 foot glowing rope dick.

Well, we've put some lights on Chris Mastry. When does Santa arrive to put gifts underneath him?

The thing that troubles me is that, because of unions, you have four aliens doing a two-alien abduction.

The anal probers awkwardly await their tip

So there was this blinding light, and then I blacked out. When I awoke, my blow-up doll was missing...

Shh....shh!.....OK......"SURPRISE" on 3......Ready?.....One......Two......

E.T phone bone was the weirdest and best phone sex line I ever used!

"I don't see Chris Hansen anywhere. Proceed."

Forced encounters of the dirty kind

"I got probed by four aliens last night!" "Really?! How do you feel?" "How do you think I feel. They haven't phoned, they haven't wrote..."

Earth Girls Gone Wild failed to attract a Vergon-6 audience.

Why we'll let the Russians get to Mars first.

Wow, they're STILL keeping Terry Schiavo alive?

Is this the bitch that ate our space-porridge?

Goddamn it ET. See that glowy tire tread? That's the fifth human you ran over with that damn bicycle.

Listen...there may or may not have been a misunderstanding...

I would so jerk off right now, if I had a dick!

"That's the last time I book my hotel through Orbitz."

Many scientists believe the universe was created by the Big Gang Bang.

Every night, Michael Jackson's kids take off their skin and sing for him.

It appears they either giving a low five, asking for payment, or attempting to force choke you

"Whaddya mean you FORGOT the probe?!?!"

It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the glowing hose again!

...and Julie was never late with her payments to the Church of Scientology again.

Clearly unfamiliar with human anatomy, Binx attempts a handshake.

the earthling did not seem to enjoy our pearl necklace...lets move on to the fisting

I don't care what you do to me, just keep me safe from the Dad from ALF.

"Once we tape her mouth shut, we'll cum in peace."

Say what you want, but at least this porno HAS a storyline.

Area 69