Obtusetriangle
To defeat the monster, I'll need butter, boiling water, and that machine from yesterday's craption.
Tessica
Smegsor the Interdimensional Space Lobster's first attempt at crowdsurfing proved to be unsuccessful.
Fkelleghan
If you strike it down, it shall become more tasty than you could possibly imagine.
jmble
NO, I said we should have the biggest, most outrageous, and most glamorous PROM ever!
geniuswaitress
"'Let him have a hermit crab,' you said. 'How big can it get?' you said."
Wanderer
Lord of the Rings would have gotten weird if you had followed the elves on that ship.
Leaf
The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain. The rain in Maine is fuckin' terrifying!!
Julius_Goat
The crowd was in grave danger until Larry arrived with his enormous tub of hot butter.
CavalierX
And here I thought the human race would end by nuking ourselves to death. My mistake.
ChaseMitchell
Terrified onlookers ignored the giant crustacean's pleas to "sha-na-na-na-na-na don't be scared."
CavalierX
Well, I'll be DAMNED if that isn't cosmic justice for all my trips to Red Lobster.
Fkelleghan
Get away from her, you bitch! And from him, and him, and him, and her, and him...
abadd0n99
When that thing hits China, they'll all transform into crustaceans, or maybe crushed-asians... who knows?
Priapism
It's kinda like that urban legend about the girl with the lobster babies in her hoohaa, but in reverse.
empleryEntrance
You know how I know you're gay? When you make references to yesterdays craptions.
Gambler
To compensate for the fact that he could no longer do it in the water, Terry the Lobster decided to crowd surf instead.
Gambler
After taking enough shit from humans in those crane games, the toys decided to turn the tables. Don't worry though people, it'll just drop them when it reaches the top.
gm_zero
"God dammit, Merv the ridiculously large sentient freshwater crustacean. I can't bring you ANYWHERE."
jtklove
Oh sure, everyone is having fun NOW...but soon the sprinklers full of hot, melted butter will be activated.
Gambler
Mike's, direct decendent of Salvador Dali, idea was so awesome, a light bulb just wasn't enough. It needed a jewel-encrusted fucking lobster.
QWiber
I really hate the person who decided to make the shellfish/selfish pun. How it made it to the top I do not know.
pytho666
No one suspected the scientologists to strike during the virtual reality convention
Fkelleghan
Sweet dreams are made of these. Travel the world and the seven seas. Everybody's looking for something.
geniuswaitress
"I told you we could pack more people into the theatre if we took the seats out!"
Leaf
You know they scream in pain when you boil them... Also, when you inflate them to an enormous size and parade them in a crowd.
dpollok
"Nightmares Under the Sea" was the prom theme promoted by the Abstinence Council.
geniuswaitress
"For tonight's special, may I take the liberty of recommending my own succulent ass?"
jackleroy2000
"Yeah, and I told that stupid crustacean that if he ever asks me to... He's standing right behind me, isn't he?"
xgrendelx
The one Gwar concert that Sean Connery sneaks into, he gets a photo of a cock-monster on his head.
zbeebs
It was nice of our new lobster overlords to give us all hot tubs. Why do you suppose they're melting all that butter?
Ed_Gein
after being bit by the same spider that bit Peter Parker, SPIDERPILLAR was born.
restlessgiant
Bollocks. I was praying this day would never come. But after the success of Mamma Mia and We Will Rock You, I suppose it was inevitable that Michael Jackson would get his own musical.
Blinker_Fluid
Before the internet came along I could never understand why giant monsters always wanted to destroy Japan.
CaptionDatAss
When the giant lobster stupidly came onto land and was wildly gasping for breath, it was an Epic Flail.
CaptionDatAss
If you think that shrimp's body is big, you should see the size of his cocktail!
WarrenGHarding
Why is Cracked giving us this picture at all? It's just a picture of a GWAR concert. Nothing funny about that.
Versus
Lady Gaga unveils the mascot for her upcoming "Guess What I Just Gave Your Disco Stick" Tour.
dilchoos
i write craptions every day and nobody votes everyone just tries to get votes dont be a fuckign hippocrite and click the damn button..theres nothing to be said about this picture anyway
wxman0
What? I haven't received one damn vote and the 'shellfish' pun is winning. Something is seriously wrong.
hamsterjelly
Thanks to Sony's prophecy, we already know how to defeat giant enemy crustaceans: flip it over and hit its weak spot for massive damage.
eastcoastghost
A pun is in the lead? A pun. Really. Then hopefully this craption will 'claw' it's way to the top, you stupid bastards.
fish11th
Lobster God likes to break people in half, and dip them in a delicious butter sauce.
gm_zero
"Fuck it, duuuuuude. I'll fuckin' ride it *hiccup* I don't guvvuh fuck how drunk i am, man."
xgrendelx
I always warned people that Pokemon wouldn't be safe in real life, but they just HAD to try it anyways.
gitsum
Let me see if I understand...you want us to make a 50ft ass kicking crawfish? Yeah, we can do it - but the question is why. On second thought, nevermind.
Rex-Jester
In Soviet Russia, the Large Hadron Collider, previously on Lost, too soon, was the mother-fucking lobster behind me.
Warren_et
Not being idiots, no one raised their hand when the giant sea creature demanded to know who had ever eaten at Red Lobster.
Leaf
He's a hard working, blue-collar lobster. Goes out every morning at the crack of dawn to check his people traps.
spoochy
For the last time. Dude, There is not a giant bejeweled lobster hovering over your frickin head!!!!
buddywts
I think the inflatable bouncy-castle would've been waaay less traumatizing for the kids....
CaptionDatAss
"I said I wanted the biggest LAWN ornament ever, not the biggest PRAWN ornament ever!!!
VitaminD
This Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade sponsored by our new, glorious Chinese overlords.
Gusse
The CDC go all out this year, with a Pubic Lice Awareness Piñata at every festival.
dubbelmoral
Oh THAT kind of giant Barbie... damn Aussies and their false advertising. I'm going to squint angrily through this crowd now.
CaptionDatAss
The giant hermit crab decided to come out of his shell and perform at the open mic night.
EaterOfClowns
Some cult members were pretty disappointed we could only summon Cthulhu in the larval stage.
Kapperific
And on Sunday in the bar, God said "You know what? I should just make something that's only there to be fucking crazy." And he did.
Bilfred
Even though most people knew about the 2012 apocalypse in advance, everyone was still surprised by the form it took.
D.O.A
FEAR ME FOOLISH LAND LOVERS....Ah come on dont just stand there and stare...RUN...POOP YOUR PANTS...SCREAM AT LEAST....JEEZ TOUGH CROWD
carbonbasedlife
"I repeat. The shrimp flavored acid is laced with crawfish. Do not take the shrimp flavored acid."
kingpin44
im kinda curious why everyone isnt running away screaming, OH...they must be shell shocked.
rybread220
Having been cut from the team for excessive bling, the Seventeenth Colossus found comfort in a place where his several tits and fashion were appreciated: Mardi Gras.
homeskyllyt
"Dude, I am seriously tripping balls right now. It looks like Sarah Jessica Parker is about to find her next victim."
mrgrieves
"I don't get it. Why is the lobster flying?" "Ugh. It's a space lobster, Jay. Shut the fuck up and just watch."
KillerPaintCan
With her dad still sleeping, Cthulhu's daughter decided to take matters into her own claws.
silentscream
Oh come on guys, you're really going to let a pun on selfish/shellfish win this craption contest. For shame cracked readers, for shame
sandtrout
Tonight's gargantuan special: In a large arena, combine people, shrimp and herbs. Toss together vigorously while spraying a fine mist of lemon juice. Chill for at least an hour and serve cold.
norcross
A giant shrimp? Why do we never get attacked by the cool monsters like Tokyo does?
feralboy12
These restaurants where you choose among live lobsters always give me the creeps.
xgrendelx
When Paris Hilton gets crabs, she doesn't settle for nothing less than the best!
getittwistd
So I had this crazy dream about a Giant Lobster attacking our city and stuff, it was so wierd! Um, Shawn, I think you should see the news...
bilbo1
Sadly, brain crabs at the Democratic National Convention (such as this one) usually starve to death.
quagmyre
Ten minutes later, Marcel Marceau, unable to extricate himself from the invisible box, acting on behalf of the French Government, surrendered.
Bishopwhitet
My daughter's with for real-life Pokemon finally comes true..with horrible consequenses
Wanderer
We probably shouldn't have staffed the bio-engineering department entirely with gay people.
gitsum
Scientists were orginally incredibly excited about the new discovery until they found themselves spending the rest of their careers determining which part was the ass-end of the creature.
lumberjef
You know what I hate? Big jewel encrusted sea creatures. What? There's one behind me? Oh, I said, "Jews".
Priapism
We were at a party. His ear lobe fell in the deep. Someone reached in and grabbed it. It was a rock lobster!
Spamboy
Despite his small claws, Larry the Lobster did just fine with the ladies due to his massive tail.
gitsum
I never quite understood the point of trying to freaking scare the shit out of every raver kid, but it sure is funny as hell!
quagmyre
So I call my friend LiLi and ask her if she wants breakfast, and she's like so hungover, she just wants green tea. The shellfish looked so good on the buffet.
DaygosDankest
"TMZ reports at an upscale party this weekend Hollywood socialite Lindsey Lohan decided to show the crowd what muff diving can lead to"
gypsy61
I for one pla to serve our new crustacious overlords with melted butter an side of lemon. Get the pot ready
gitsum
...boiled shrimp, deep-fried shrimp, shrimp gumbo, shrimp stew, barbeque shrimp, scary ass alien shrimp...Bubba's last words.
gitsum
There's a thin line between reality and perception. The line between sane and insane - not so thin...
Emwurst
"What? How could you confuse 'Blimp' for 'Shrimp'? Are you retarded? I think you are."
Augustine86
Scientists everywhere are still trying to determine the size of the pot that would take to cook this bad boy
papajon0s1
Bubba: I know everything there is to know about the shrimpin' business. Forrest: No Bubba, apparently you don't.
Tessica
He'd probably be a lot more terrifying if he wasn't wearing his daughter's earrings.
Augustine86
Since many people in the caption are NOT looking at the giant shrimp with the glowing tail one has to wonder what other fucked up things are on display there
unworldlyduck
Shortly thereafter, the giant flying lobster thing was attacked by a combination of heat rays and melted butter. the resulting smell was delicious
svartorm
You know there's a lot of pot smoke in the air when even the camera is hallucinating.
watchthedecline
The first annual Burning Prawn wasn't quite as gay as everyone had hoped.
quagmyre
It seems rather tranquil in the larval stage. Just don't get it wet or feed it before noon PST.
Tessica
Chuck Norris didn't like to admit it, but his case of crabs took a turn for the worse.
WHYAMIYELLING?
The shrimp blimp Shrimpenburg,moments before it went down in flames. Oh, the humanity!!!!!
inmate42392
Everyone at the cocktail-party stared in awe at the spectacle. They had never seen anything like it before. But not the bald, middle-aged guy. He had seen stuff like this many times before, in his youth as a Luitenant at the submarine USS WTF, and th
Lively
This is "Clawed," the main flaoting attraction at the Providence, Rhode Island gay pride parade.
Unbeknownst
The giant lobsterrr!; flyin' over the peopleee!; the lobsteroonie; lobsterama; lobsterrrr; lobsterasarious; king lobsterrr; lobsterator; lobsss...
CaptionDatAss
One of the shrimps that came out of the lady who masterbated with a lobster survived, grew up, and became a BIG broadway star.
buddywts
So after the buffet me and my giant stroll over to the concert, and I was like, "Dude you got some food on your face" and he wipes it off- and that's when all the dying and crushing started....
CaptionDatAss
Boogaloo Shrimp really danced his ass off during the nightclub scene in Breakin'...
dandaman
SNL's "Larry the Lobster" subtly takes revenge for all the viewers who voted to kill him so many years ago.
Chotchky
Between the epic Pokemon battle and the ensuing stampede, the death toll at the rave was catastrophic.
dpollok
...I hear $500 from Red Lobster..now we have $550 from Long John Silver's...going once...going twice...SOLD! The largest Langostino lobster in the world!
monstermovie
This "Jumbo Shrimp" was the lastest addition to the Oxymoron Museum of Art.
Raidergod25
Yeah right. And I bet if I turn around they'll be a huge, flying crustacean attacking the stage.
eastcoastghost
That’s the second biggest purple and crème colored lobster I’ve ever seen.
googboog
every man in japan waits with eager dickjoy for the tentacles to grab every woman in a square mile
WHYAMIYELLING?
"No, I'm not turning around to look,you think I'm stupid,no,you're full of shit!Giant lobster my ass!
jakamneziak
hes telling the bloke at the front with the bald spot "Oi dont get crabby with me"
Ilink
After the giant shellfish is eaten, the giant pig will be next. Which will do it for the most unkosher event of the world.
minivanmonkey
Ah! This reminds me of the last time I got raped in Galactic Civilizations!
minivanmonkey
This reminds me of the last time I got raped in Galactic Civilizations....
eastcoastghost
His vision deteriorating from decades of research; the old man in the front tragically squinted in the wrong direction as his beloved mythical giant lobster, floated by.
CaptionDatAss
Rapper Bisque Markie's concerts often featured elaborate stage decorations.
Dunstin Checks Out
As it headed toward the light it wondered "Would I see my parents again."
jmiland1
Newly announced at this year's E3 is the soundtrack for Starcraft II, performed by Pink Floyd.
JKGallagher
Whoever said: 'They'll be no accusations, just friendly crustaceans under the sea!' was very wrong...
Midnight_Huzky
The "What if the Earth had Crabs" movie wasn't really as effective toward STD prevention as frist anticipated.
dbzgt24
They Day That the newly discovered spices of crab was removed from paris hiltons panties will forever be remmbered as the 2010 tishnic masacare
dbzgt24
In nomine patrie,et fili et spiritu sancti. may paris hilton have mercy on our souls for we are not worthy
kyle003p
Godzilla XXXVII: Godzilla vs Lobster Balloon. They aren't even trying anymore...
Shane?
Moving it to nighttime in the middle of summer and allowing corporate sponsorship of balloons has completely ruined Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
eastcoastghost
Al-Qaeda has greatly over-estimated the number of Americans with a shellfish allergy.
TheDrRipper
Since teens are having sex at a younger age ... Craps have evolved and taken over the world
TheUnitedEmpire
Greetings earthlings, I have come to destroy...hey, LOOK AT ME DAMMIT! I'm fucking serious about....godammit, I should have thought this through.
controlfreak777
Even old people can enjoy the fun once only allowed to young candy Ravers!
elandry
Sadly, this is what my dick looks like ever since I met up with that craigslist whore.
Lekki
Krangar couldn't shake the feeling that he was the odd one out at the club that night...
dewster
The "GCA" float entry into the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade (Gay Crustaceon Alliance)
ShadowX81
Ever since they captured God last year, the people were finding it increasingly a pain in the ass to feed him.
ShadowKnight
Atlantis's revenge will be most satisfying when everyone stops gawking and start fleeing!
Drinkslinger
Having a national convention for "Singles with Crabs" (SwC) was a good idea, but the parties theme needs some work.
FrostLight
"Oh, no, that was Larry making an ass of himself at the all-you-can eat human buffet... I'm never taking him there again."
thaRaven
To think Mcguyver made this with only a paperclip, rubber band, and a plastic straw.
Brett-Butler
For goodness sake, I said that I wanted oversized pawns for the giant chess game. PAWNS!
fluisterwoud
Too many bars bought the claw games containing lobsters, vengeance is theirs
quagmyre
A national obesity pandemic has been declared, yet the portions seem to keep getting larger...pass the butter, would ya...
Truthiness
To kill it you need to hit the weak spot...you mean that doesn't work? Damn video games!!!!
SteveHardon
After the swine flu outbreak proved successful, the bio-terrorists continued with Phase II: Everybody Gets Crabs.
PeptoOverdose
11 june 2009, 1842 hrs. Crab people have emerged to take over, and we the government welcome are new overlords
CaptionDatAss
Gwar made a parody of the B-52's "Rock Lobster" entitled "Cock Rock Lobster."
CaptionDatAss
Mr. Lobster was known to be a penny pincher. Ironically, he had a really hard time picking coins up off the floor.
gypsy61
Fred, I found this great out of the way buffet on a little planet called earth, the music sucks but the Americans are nice a plump
dot26
As Fred was slowly dipped into the human feeding nest, he began to regret using that new AXE Garlic Spray.
milfus
After years of being mocked by the hermaphodite love triangle, the rock lobster finally lost it and charged the stage at the b-52's re-union show.
milfus
NEWS FLASH: sunken city of atlantis found, but when scientists revealed it was full of miniature balding hipsters, world loses interest.
killjoy712
Well.... Cloverfield 2 was already in production and after the first movie...we've had some cutbacks...
BenHessler
Is that a giant lobster hovering over your head or are you just glad to see me?
jnicoler89
I think everyone including this thing is thinking the same thing. "What the hell is this?"
MC_Rap
Look, I'm not saying she has no respect for money, but she did buy jewels for her giant space lobster
MC_Rap
I know the giant space lobster is a big Hannah Montana fan but does he have to ruin the concert for everybody?
WHYAMIYELLING?
Lord Cthulu broke through the space-time rift and to his horror found himself at the annual lobster fest.
MC_Rap
Damn, bitch, either you got a bad yeast infection or there's a giant space lobster here somewhere
MC_Rap
Oh look, Hank brought his giant space lobster...you know he only got that thing to overcompensate for his little wiener.
Indianapwns
Soon after, Tim Burton was fired from his job as manager of the Lobster House.
dot26
As the people gathered in the public square, they couldn't shake the feeling that they were being watched.
spunkyingminor
The Christians looked away with tears in their eyes, God has sent down legendary Pokemon for the win.
spunkyingminor
Jews, Muslims, Christians looked away with horror as the chosen believers gazed upon their messiah with relief. God sent down legendary Pokemon for the win.
ianrichardson
Cool guys don't look at giant lobsters (old guy on the left, the guy with the mustache, and Kevin James).
TheChronicler
After Link vanquished Twinmold for the 3rd time, he decided to launch a new career as a prop at a Styx reunion concert.
glonous
IN OTHER NEWS - ufo dong sighted over an electronic party, 400 women got an orgasm just fot being there
crackheadless
Hey people, it's still me, Opus... I told Berk nobody would buy into a cartoon lobster.
Zombie-Cancer
Cuba's answer to Godizilla never quite reached the level of fame as its Japanese counterpart.
prannyjones
Hi-Octane Viagra: Guaranteed to give you MONSTER boner..(side effects may include a yellow dickhead, scaly foreskin and your nuts turning into crab claws)
NoODels
After the successful Hary Potter series, Voldemort tried starting his own candid camera show 'guess as what i'm comming back next year'
Naught
We were at the parade, everybody had matching towels, somebody looked up in the sky, and there they saw a rock. But it wasn't a rock.... IT WAS A ROCK LOBSTER!
Jason13
You know, I heard this story about a girl who used one of these to masturbate...
sortableturnip
I didn't get my Craption in first, so I have absolutely NO CHANCE of getting any votes
dillinger72
Due to the frequency of unprotected sex that occurs in Rave culture, the ugly fear of crabs is always looming overhead.
milzispete
there are only two things in this world that taste like shell fish.........and one of them is shell fish
jackyjoe7890
Am I the first to notice that guy at the bottom looks like Sean Connery. You know the squinting one.
DirtyJs
Early this morning, god finally revealed his true face through tears in space-time created by the LHD. Traffic is still slow south-bound on the Warrego Highway, and on a happier note, Jonny the puppy was rescued from a three hour ordeal after becomin
cartman369
The bordellos in Tiajuana have been hit especially hard this year by a virulent strain of crabs.
hadleydb
That looks like something I shit out yesterday. How the hell did Cracked.com get a hold of it?
Ranger
Madonna's vaginal fluid under a microscope, projected onto a big screen for the Grand Opening of the Science Center. Madonna... what a dirty, skany biach.
CooperSolano
A new trend is starting, all I have to say is I WONT GET ANY VOTES ANYWAYS!!! And the irony fairy sprinkles votes on my caption.
Smugly Unfunny
Wait.. what? Shrimp? I thought it was just an extremely ornate (read:"theatrical") lobster. Like, the "drama kid" equivalent. I shit you not I am serious.
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