Dude, he was like "Tear this ship apart until you've found those plans." And I was like, "Whatever!" I didn't really say it, but I was totally thinking it.
"And so then he was all like, 'Hey man, these aren't the droids you're looking for,' and I was like, 'Ooooooooh maaaaaan, ARE these the droids I'm looking for?' And have you ever seen a droid, man? I mean, REALLY looked at one?"
This explains why they never got around to finishing the second Death Star. And why it always smelled like patchouli.
Yeah man, we were all so high, all it took was a shitload of little bears or whatever to take us out. It sucked.
Famous for their peace-loving ways, the Stormtroopers always made sure they missed whomever they shot at.
What'd you expect to happen when they decided to design the Death Star to look like a disco ball?
The Klinger of the Imperial Army. (Hey, a pop culture reference from 1978. That should go over well here.)
"Lord Vader, radar indicates that Alderon seems to be covered in some sort of purple haze."
Storm Troopers promoting peace and love? What's next, Dick Cheney... uh... promoting peace and love?
Maybe it was the early years of drug use that made them all terrible shots.
"Yo, dude! I'm looking for the City in the Clouds... you know where the City in the Clouds is?"
"I tell ya, the young stormtroopers these days... no respect for authority. Just the other day, one of them told me to stick a tauntaun up my sublight drive!"
"So, like, we were looking for, like, these droids, you know, but then...like, we totally couldn't find them, man!"
The early drafts of the third movie showed the Empire falling thanks to non violent internal peace protests. Truly amazing that they could find something that would test LOWER than Ewoks
"He's a complicated man, and no one understands him but his woman..." Just kidding. He's never been with a woman.
In retrospect, it probably was a bad idea to assign this guy the job of designing the shield on the Death Star's weak spot.
Only a hippie would try to start a peace movement on something called the Death Star.
"Dude, I had this wicked dream that I was a hippie storm trooper and I went on a killing spree." "Frank, I think you should see the news..."
"Duude, 'Death Star' is so harsh... call it the 'Peace Star' or the 'Flower Ball'."
We really could have used your talents during Tet, too bad you were a big pussy and sat it out
"Blend in, he said. Wear this, he said. No one will notice, he said. That's the last time I let Jimi Hendrix pick out my clothes."
"Lord Vader... We have successfully raided the rebel base on planet Manilow"...
After getting knocked off his jet bike... Carl spent 30 years weith the ewoks doing shrooms and making musical interpretations of jaba the hut
It's like I told him man...you gotta...you gotta put some guard rails on that battle station man.
Fuck navigating down a narrow trench and trying to shoot at a two meter wide hole. Let's just spike their water supply.
I was gonna catch those fuckin' droids, and then I got high.... I was gonna shoot them Jedi's too, and then I got high... I was gonna slap Leia's ass, and then I got high, I got high, I got high...
It was there... and then it disappeared. Alderaan is gone man. Screwed me up. what's a life worth? I haven't been sober since.
Jimi Hendrix's costume...$14.99. Storm Trooper costume...$49.99. Never getting laid again...PRICELESS!
The Empire Flashes Back "This sand takes me back to Tatooine. Aw fuck, this is gonna be a bad trip... I the droids I was lookin' for are right over there and they got my mother's face. Wait. I'm a clone. It's cool man, I'm good."
Join the empire: Like get stoned and tour the universe man! It's totally trippy!
"Dude, you've gotta see it, in the encore he sets his blaster on fire and shoots it with his teeth."
No, no... dude, trust me on this one - take one of these before you turn on the hyperdrive.
Fucking great!! First we had the goddamn Ewoks, then we had to suffer through JarJar, and now it looks like we are getting Storm Trippers!
You astrology sign must be made of memory inducing material, because I can sure remember flying thru it.... you know.... in the sky... on a space ship... aw, fuck you bitch... you got weed?
Darth Vadar was like, "Dude, your helmet is totally growing an afro..." and I was like, "You are trippin' dude!" and he was like, "No look in the mirror!" and I was like, "Woooah Dude!"
So, wait man, there's this hole in the death star? And if they shoot it, the whole thing blows up? You're freaking me out man!!!
Dude, I hate that I look so much like my old man. He was a total company-man, straight from squaresville.
This is what happens when you try to hitch hike to the start wars convention....you get picked up by a bunch of Phish heads and the next thing you know you're wearing some other dudes pajamas with his pubes on your head.
Yeah...this was my third option. The pimp suit and Chewy costume were already taken.
Moon Child, Daisy Love and Flower Power seemed to be over used, so my parents with Death Star.
Shiiiiiiiiiiiit, Mr. V., check you out an' about wit' the emphysema. You's a'ite.
The STADS (Storm Troopers Against the Dark Side) meets Wednesday in the Town Hall. Free acid hits at the door.
That's not the dark side of the moon... that's the dark side of a SPACE STATION!
it would appear a shipment of Amidala's wardrobe has been intercepted by the empire.
It was not shown in the movie but many stormtroopers were activists. By that we mean hippies. By that we mean killed by lord vader
After acquiring the rights to Easy Rider, George Lucas released the Special Edition, using CGI to change the motorcycles into speeder bikes.
So, like the idiot who booked the Star Trek and Grateful Dead conventions at the same venue was a total idiot, man!!
Come on people now, smile on your trooper, try to love one another, right now.
"THIS is what Sid and Marty Krofft are pitching? I give up...get that guy Lucas on the phone."
The rejected Stoned Trooper still wanders around George Luca's mind when he's high
storm trooper one: no man it's like this. The force is just little tiny things in your blood called Mitochlorians and that Storm trooper two: Dude listen to you... you're wasted
In his days before becoming a guitar legend, Jimi Hendrix held many other jobs...
Not to be outdone by the successful reboot of the Star Trek franchise, Lucas makes his move
The little known Imperial Groove Troopers...an elite unit whose purpose is only to protect the Emperor's stash
The first annual Galactic Costume Party. Winning costume? Darth Vader leaves his black suit at homes and comes as Larry King.
Combining the anti-drug seminar with the Star Wars convention made for the most effective anti-drug campaign in history.
You can say what you want about the tenets of Stormtrooperism, Dude, but at least it's an ethos.
Storm Trooper H-3885 always hated that he was the only one to really get into the theme days.
When they say "the rebels suck", just say "yeah, fuck the rebels, I fuckin' hate 'em too, long live the fuckin' Empire..."
This is why sci-fi conventions shouldn't share the same convention hall as Marley-fest.
Oh God I'm just thankful that the first Star Wars movie didn't come out in the sixties, otherwise we would have had stormtrooper hipp.... aw come on man
Since the destruction of the Deathstar, Colin’s outlook on life had completely changed!
Hendix Jimmy it is..found on death star he was..the psycadelics are strong with this one
The Death Star company outings revealed some pretty dark secrets from certain members
Instead of lighting his guitar on fire, Stormtrooper Hendrix would burn a small village of Ewoks during his solos.
Don't talk to that one. He's been in the bacta tank a little too long if you know what I mean.
Oddly enough, out of millions of his fellow clones, Frank was chosen for a random drug test.
You can take the storm trooper out of the hippie, but you cant take the hippie out of the storm trooper.
Bet this guy turns out to be a pasty white guy when you take his helmet off too.
Listen, I don't care how much "free love" you advertise, you're still not getting laid in that costume.
I don't know wether tho laugh uncontrolably, or be in awe of the awsome greatness.
I thought the Empire would straighten him out, but he got into the death sticks anyway.
Storm troopers finally excepting that they will never hit a freaking target in their life change tactics.
Pictured: defecting storm trooper minutes before being laser-clubbed to death by empire forces.
It's cool man, the tractor beams on, its on man, did you see those new T-42's man? Stellar.....
He still thinks that global warming will destroy the earth by 2255 if we all don't take immediate action.
Worried about worsening morale due to frequent force-strangulation of the troops, Darth Vader instituted casual Fridays.
Heheheh, yeah, man, like, these AREN'T the 'droids we're looking for, n' stuff. Heheh. Dude, nice robe..
Not pictured: Princess Leia fooling around with an Ewok in the stationary closet.
The Rasta-Trooper was constantly getting lost and ending up in nerd conventions inside of protecting the Empire from the Jedi.
yeah, I get it...star child...thats funny...oh stoned trooper is even better.....jackass
"Star Peace" didn't do quite well with test audience, until George Lucas agreed to some serious rewriting.
Seems like they tried to apply South Africa's notion of the rainbow nation to the Star Wars universe as well.
deep weezy breathing......"luke".... more inhaling and deep breathing...."I am tripping balls"
After watching every one of his comrades taken down by god-damned, two-foot-high teddy bears, this storm trooper decided the Jedi may have had it right after all.
...but when the death star and the fourth moon of Yavin align, it's ALSO the dawning of the age of Aquarius
Not all the clones were exact copies.... Mongo Fett always thought the white and black storm trooper outfits were too square man...
'Please give a warm welcome to the Death Star's very own Commodores tribute band... the Stormadores!'
the space mullet: party on the top, business in the middle, more party on the bottom.
Shortly after the enlightenment Mongo Fett received at the stoner convention, he committed suicide after realizing that he works for "The Man"...
'Stop putting a downer on the Christmas party man! No one can shoot down the thing! It's like this big man!'
Human High Culture was the Galactic Empire's codified policy of Humanocentric speciesism
Remember that video of the Empire invading San Francisco? Apparently shore leave went well...
somewhere on our planet, there is someone who actually thought this douchebag looks cool.... (hint: it's me!)
Hey, you know on that Millennium Falcon thing with those hidden cargo thingies...? you can put your weed in there!
As a result of great fanfare and overwhelming attention. Jedi Master Skywalker has gone to great lengths to evade the paparazzi.
Check it out man, is he holding a sign, or playing air guitar with a poster in the background?
Realizing the risks of smuggling weapons was not worth it, Han Solo starts smuggling weed
"So then like I was in my ship, man, when like out of no where the death star blew up! Dig it? Then I was like, WOOH! Awesome, but then I realized all my friends where in their so I took my shrooms, and I like didn't remember anything. "
Before Mace Windu, Samuel L. Jackson had a less glamorous role in the Star Wars films.
Oh, no! This gives Ackbar a perfectly reasonable excuse to whip out an "It's a trap!" craption.
An early version of the Stormtrooper before Lucas moved across the bridge to Orange County.
Don't ask, Don't tell in the Imperial Army is just silly. Dude might as well be screaming...GAY! GAY! GAY! He is pegging most all gaydars.
Hendrix did not roll over in his grave - he pulled out a laser blaster, busted through the tomb and swore to kill this muthaf#*%a!!!
I don't know man, I was tripping balls. Are you sure those weren't the droids we were looking for?
Rebel 1: Hey is that the new Bob Marley clone soldier? Rebel 2: I heard they all have cancer Rebel 1: Damn, what a waste of pot.
No point telling him this is bat country- the poor bastard would realize it soon enough.....
I am little surprised at the size of those pants...seriously, how do fit this guys king kong sized testicles in there...?
SWM seeks companionship - enjoy long walks on the beach, sci-fi movies and masturbating - open to any species
Ah, so THAT explains how they always fall for the Jedi mind trick and can't hit anything; they're high
Another word for "happy" is "gay". Another word for "hippie" is... well, "gay".
The Rebel Alliance decides on the best course of action in undermining the Empire: acid in the Deathstar's water supply.
Hey... hye dude.. wont it be funny if we remake the plans to make it look like a giant boob? HaHaHAhahaah
Like, uh... y'know, I don't need to see any identification... or something. Right on.
After Ted was fired from the Storm Troopers, he decided to fight against them in the most insulting way possible.
What could everyone be looking at that is more exciting than a high Storm Trooper?
Rosie O'Donnell is a fat, ugly, angry bitch (not really much to do with this Craption... just saying)!
"...Then He called me a hippy, so i unleased my washboard abs ... *rips open shirt* ... See!"
It was stupid to think that Chewbacca didn't rape any of the stormtroopers at Endor.
After a humiliating defeat to teddy bears some storm troopers decided maybe they could give peace a chance.
Proof that Emperor Palpatine's LSD mind control experiments didn't quite work as planned
What ... If Darth Jackson was on Britain's Got Talent, Why can't Storm Marley?!
I heard Princess Leia is really into the whole psychedelic retro hippie Hendrix chic. Maybe now I'll have a shot at porking her.
This Empire everyone's fighting. They don't seem too bad at all! If you can tolerate the smell of body odur and the harvesting of opium, joinning the dark side is all the more appealing.
This Empire everyone's fighting. They don't seem too bad at all! If you can tolerate the smell of body odur and the harvesting of opium, joining the dark side is all the more appealing.
As soon as Clone Wars came out a wild rebellion was upstarted by hippie Star Wars fans. A combination not thought possible by the creators of said movie.
Oh.. that's good stuff man. Hey listen, we should go bang Darth Vader or something.
After the legalization of marijuana LeRoy Marley let it all hang out on casual Friday.
Everything was going well for the Empire until the Storm Troopers discovered free love.
DOWN WITH THE DARK SIDE!Er.. I mean..LIGHT SIDE!Er.. I mean..Wait. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY BONG!!
3 foot bears defeat of the Storm troopers had a strange effect on Morale & Discipline within the Empire.
Close the blast doors, mon, we gonna hot box the whole fuckin' detention level, ah ha ha
eh, bro...eh, you wanna know what's trippy...you ever notice how Lord Vader...you ever notice how he totally sounds like that lion from Lion King? Weird, huh...pass the pop tarts.
A Stormtrooper from the first 3 movies, attempting to assimilate into Earth's culture. Unfortunately, he is shunned by Stormtroopers of the second 3 movies.
Now Darth Vader sadly understands why transporting with a Stormtrooper, a Rastafarian & a hippie really isn't a good idea.
When Stormtroopers from the first 3 movies, attempt to assimilate into Human culture. Unfortunately, they are shunned by Stormtroopers of the second 3 movies.
Notes to self: No more drug parties with Vader! No more tatooines after drug parties with Vader!
Dude, your totally a paradox..HIGHFIVE! Yeah that's sticking it to the sith, wanna make out? Siths trying to keep the stormtrooper down.
This storm trooper didn't think the destruction of Alderaan was "far out". He mysteriously died of a drug overdose after taking an honorable discharge from the Death Star.
Darth's new glasses sucked. And everyone knew it, they just started taking the piss...
"Nah man I gave that lifestyle up a long time ago...they say you lose your hair 2x faster working under the republic....fuck that lets get jedi mind blasted, pack it in the left one."
The Lando Calrisian/Storm Trooper combo costume ... just in time for Halloween.
Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon will have a special place in hell for this debacle
Darth Vadar was all like here try this it wont kill you and look where that got me
Work was hard to come by for Storm Troopers after poor publicity brought the Empire to its knees, and John wound up doing tribute acts in whatever cantina would have him
There is no way these clothes would have been accepted or even readily available to stormtroopers in outer space. This is fake you can tell by the people in the back not wearing space suits.
Andthenwewerelikepewpewpew! Andflewrightbywoosh! Lasersshotrightbymyfuckinghead.Somedouchefellinaholeandtherewassmoke. It was epic.
i can feel it man, its like this great force arround us, and we are like, all conected and stuff
"Put it this way, man; Lando's place was cloud-free before we got there, dude! Tyeah!"
C'mon, Ron. The Intergalactic War was 40 years ago! Time to grow up. Seriously. And move out of your parent's moisture farm basement.
This isn't really a star wars convention, bro. Society just wants you to think it is.
The Seventeenth Colossus was cut for time and excessive bling. He now seeks solace by consuming those more flamboyant than he, every year at Mardi Gras.
November 2009
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