After running away from the farm the only work Elsie could find was as a stripper.
My captions aren't funny, I just vote for myself a lot and use a bad pun....Hugh Heifer.
michaeldrew
Due to the recent trend of smaller utters, Hugh Heifer choses a more petite playcow for his Mrs. November spread.
CavalierX
I'm not looking forward to seeing the World of Warcraft live-action movie now.
natebooze
After getting ripped by Trump, Rosie O'donnell's could only book gigs as a freak show...
CavalierX
She's got a horse face, chicken breasts and a body like a cow. She's perfect!! Thanks, eHarmony!
JCarlton
"Fuck you for setting me up with that Blind date, you KNOW I hate girls that wear Jewelry..."
CavalierX
"In other news, Rosie O'Donnell was molested on the street today. Police say she ate the attacker. Back to you, Jim.."
getittwistd
David Carradine HAD to kill himself after sleeping with this Thai prostitute! ...too soon?
Skinny_Pete
Obviously getting bit by a radioactive cow is not as cool as getting bit by a radioactive spider
Skinny_Pete
Tell you what, I'll sleep with you when cows start walking upright and wearing gypsy clothes...oh, goddammit!
Skinny_Pete
Todd, I think you're right, shoulda made em apes. I don't think Planet of the Cows will work
mabogo
Oh, oh, oh, OH......AGH!........Ahhhhhhhhhh! ...(*pant-pant*)....shit......all over the monitor...(*puff*)(*wheeze*).....thanks alot, Cracked......
Leaf
Old MacDonald had a farm... E-I-E-I-O... And on that farm he had a cow... W-H-O-R-E...
captainHamsack
I deserve to win since this is the first craption submitted on this image
Aaronthethird
See kids: this is why female Tauren are the least played race in World of Warcraft.
sgt.salt
the more flamboyant minotaur Bruce, was kind of kept out of the mythology books but actually desgined the whole labyrinth
Julius_Goat
"Yeah, she's not good looking, but she'll blow you for a little bit of grass."
rinkster
Cursed with Lactose Intolerance - pedro could only watch with desire the udders on the most beautiful cow in the village
spectre_vampire
Remember when the worst thing you could catch around here was sour milk?
WOITAS
I didn't know that Penningtons 14+ was modelling their new spring line on the street!
Wanderer
"The only thing I worry about is whether he'll like my hair," thought Bessie, as she waited for her blind date to arrive.
house_fire
When the acting gigs stopped coming, Kristie Alley was forced to look at different types of employment.
gitsum
This cow found a creative way to avoid the slaughter house - join the whore house!
GaseousClay
It's tough dealing with the prejudices of society. She faces lactose intolerance every day.
thejex
The economy is so bad, farmers are putting their livestock to work hooking on the corner
slash2049
Little Jimmy was starting to regret asking his mom where chocolate milk came from...
WarrenGHarding
You've heard of the horse of a different color? This is the horse of alternative lifestyles.
occumsrazor
The symptoms of Mad Cow disease now include the sudden urge to run off with gypsies and solicit milk for crack.
jmonk
what kind of sick perverted mother f****ing gasbag penis headed idiot would wear a long sleeve blue shirt on a sunny day?
HUMLY
After years of searching, Dennis Rodman finally found someone he could settle down with.
quagmyre
It's fairly evident that the budget for the National Endowment for the Arts is ripe for trimming.
PeptoOverdose
Excuse me i'm trying to find some Cambodian breast milk for Mr. Diddy. Can you help me out?
benrichardsrm
Exclusive footage from the Sex and the City 2 shoot. Guess who it's a picture of?
Diasdiem
Who you call if you can't afford the high-class hookers at the Furry Convention
Leaf
It's not that I mind bull riding competitions... It's just creepier when you know the bull really WANTS you to ride it...
spydrmunkie
the fashion world in turn on its ear when too thin models are pushed aside to make way of the new standard in modeling.
Rex-Jester
Man, that is one ugly wahini... I mean she's so ugly that... her boyfriend's right behind me, isn't he?
hadleydb
I'd like you to meet my wife Moolinda. We got married in Vegas over the weekend. I was REALLY DRUNK.
dpollok
Yes I find you very attractive, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm lactose intolerant.
Blinker_Fluid
The reason happy cows are from California is that they are finally free to come out of the closet.
Lloyd128
No-one told the almighty Vishnu that showing your tits in public makes you a slut.
Leaf
Bessie looked up in the sky where the moon was clearly visible... She thought to herself "Yeah... yeah, I can make that jump..."
WarrenGHarding
It's not the floods that changed New Orleans. It was the nuclear fallout.
Todzilla
You can tell from the look on her face that she regrets some of her life choices.
TheUnitedEmpire
Convention for the gay cow womans rights liberation of ...oh fuck it, feel free to discriminate.
Spunk
With the price of beef dropping cattlemen resort to new ways to get a return on thier investments.
brbolin
Cloris longed to be looked at as not just another piece of meat...until she realized she was.
Mfabina
The next screenshot shows why the restraining order was taken out against the man in the lower right of the photo.
capecoddan
long story short, i woke up next to this half woman half cow and decided never to drink again
Spunk
Red Bull get sued.... "I thought I was going to get wings" said Edna pictured above
SteveHardon
When not hanging out on Wall Street, the bull liked to play crossdresser on the weekends...
rinkster
Esther the cow knew she earned all of her mardi-gras beads the hard way - not like Bessy on the next street corner.
Roland_Deschain
"The trap is set. Now, unless Bugs Bunny cartoons have lied to me, an amorous bull should come floating on a waft of pink perfume any moment now."
$Jon$
Sarah Jessica Parker Tries to avoid paparazzi on her vacation shouth of the border.
CJD
Nobody seems to notice the freak whose hand is slowly reaching toward the udders....
hockeygoalie
Another clothing malfunction at this year's super bowel led to not one but 4 nipples being exposed on national TV
zwubu
Technically though, shouldn't the bra be worn around her waist? Wait, did I just give fashion advice to a cow.
1.21jigawatt
its Oprah-gone-wild flashing her nips during Cabo Spring Break '09. Watch out for Mr Hands down below
getittwistd
When people told me my fiance was a cow, I never really understood what they meant. They our honeymoon came along...
threedollarbill
Bessie knew she had to stand out at the American Idol audition...so she wore a bikini....
Priapism
What happens when the Beef Farmers' Union decides to take a crack at the marketing stratedgy and success of the Chiquita Banana company...
paleomike8
Five minutes later, France surrendered...ten minutes after that, the rest of the world followed.
momoy
Hey Bob, the cows have come home. And they came back from Mexico with the swine flu.
GangstaCrizzab
When product sales for Maola hit an all time low. The team tried a new approach...
gypsy61
Is number 1 postitute in all Albania. Locals say she like ridng bull and body slammed by wrestler!!
dot26
Not wanting to be upstaged by Janet, she decided to have her very own 'wardrobe malfunction'.
Cody Johnston
The Running Of The Bulls just got a whole lot sexier! (You probably shouldn't do it, though, it's still incredibly dangerous)
cigjonser
The world's first transvestite bull pretended not to notice as the farmer slowly approached his lifelong fantasy.
xgrendelx
Texas: The only state where cow-fucking is so rampant, they need to make fake cows to satisfy demand.
xgrendelx
Thank god that guy's hand blocks out that pre-op tranny bull's dick. The silicone udders don't fool anyone.
Versus
After trading Jack for some magic beans, the Giant immediately put Elsie to work.
coachfinder
If horns are representative of the male of the species, am I correct in assuming he has 4 very small penis's? Hmmm
VexMindedFreak
That guy on the bottom died after having sex with her.He was lactosintollarent
bafaulkner
I had to explain to my brother what "Trojan Duck" meant. Now this? Thanks, Cracked.
bafaulkner
Perhaps displaying this across from the elementary school wasn't the best of ideas.
JKGallagher
Does anyone else notice the hand at the bottom of the picture creeping up to those udders?
Flippy05
After Ben and Jerry's closed Jerry put his other talent to use in the red light district.
Skinny_Pete
What happens when the head of the beef industry brainstorms with the head of the bestiality movement
shrubber
All the udder heffers called Elsa a tramp due to the skimpy clothes she wore, but the bulls knew they were just jealous!
swankyway
The car companies lost money because they were unknowingly funding research for the wrong kind of hybrid.
rinkster
In Mississippi Jim-Bob's prize cow was kind of known as the town bike, everyone got a ride.
garbage_day
Upon arrival I found Mardi Gras failed to live up to what I was expecting...
rinkster
Isn't the bikini top a little high? Must have been some hill-billy farmer that dressed her.
CaptionDatAss
After the dish ran away with the spoon, Bessie ran away and became a hooker.
dillinger72
The new Micheal Bay movie where France surrenders after 10 minutes and I secretly (yet openly) masturbate to this image. Hooray for regurgitation!
SteveRequin
As that hand was getting dangerously close, Moonique the Werecow realised her top was way too high, since a cows's breasts is really her udders.
dbzgt24
Uhh - im drawing a blank....... get it, it sounds as if im refering to not be able to come up with a craption but really im talking about is masterbating to this photo beaus im into BEASTIALITY(all capitals)you may also notice i spelled COME, CUM tha
Shetlandshaun
After the upsurge in Swine Flu attention. The Mad Cow sector are desperately trying to get the spotlight back.
Shetlandshaun
After the huge media attention for Swine Flu. The Mad Cow organization were going to desperate lengths to get back the media spotlight
gypsydreams101
I like to Moove it Moove it, you like to Moove it Moove it, she like to Moove it Moove it, we like to....? MOOVE IT!
delvillardiego
Why is she wearing a top? I mean her tits waaay below and totally showing...
GamblinProblems
Despite their advertising attempts, "Mooters" failed to appeal to the public.
cPPrm8
She had to make a living somehow, since Sinbad the Sailor got her fired from her last gig..
H1tman007
After the disaster that was Terminator-Salvation, McG decided on a change of pace for his next project, "Terminator-Huge Plastic Cow That Was Obviously Dressed By The Kids"
H1tman007
Daisy's career as an outdoor stripper lasted one day, the chafing from the concrete pole was just too damn much!
RS91
Holy Shit, when did songs become so fucking literary... i really need to stop taking acid.--
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