Skinny_Pete
Wow, the great thing about rowing this boat is that if I was giving a blow job at the same time, the blow job would not be the gayest activity I was involved in!
Skinny_Pete
Hey guys! That big yellow duck is such an asstard and....uh, hmmm....he's right behind me isn't he?
iamquitebored
in a few years, this will become the HMS Swan, the most glorious battleship to ever set sail
mabogo
Haw-haw-haw...What a GREAT pic....It really 'quacked' me up....ha-ha....Get it?....It really QUACKED .........Fuck you guys......
Rumplemeyer
You asshole....You've spent the last seven years stealing all the neighbor's Yellow Pages - and THIS is what you were planning?!? My mother WAS right about you.....
Leaf
Donald watched angrily from the shore.... What was that bitch Daisy doing with that piece of shit?!?!
Skinny_Pete
Mr. Seacrest, the gay bachelor party is starting, time to burst out of the duck
buddywts
Hey Guys! I finally figured out how to combine Pedophilia, homosexuality AND bestiality- what a time saver!
reinierl
"Haha, stupid block duck, bet it can't even fly and... It's behind me isn't it?"
pytho666
Is that guy getting raped by a huge pixilized duck or did the LSD just kick in?
nimo
John, don't look now, but I think your nest of back hair has attracted some visitors.
Wanderer
I thought they promised that the nuclear power plant WOULDN'T affect the local wildlife!
Bui
Despite years of building the ultimate duck, it didn't get John the friends he desperately needed
Outsyder
Jimmy knew combining LSD and bathtime was not a good idea, but he did it anyway.
Phoinixpyre
Sometimes the best way to smuggle 600 kilos of coke is right out in the open . . .
wquates
The ugly duckling wasn't no swan... he was just ugly, big... and out for REVENGE!
sish2000
A rare sighting of the loch ness mon... Wait a minute! He's no so scary after all.
Wusstafarian
You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have ... ducks ... with frickin' ... people ... attached to their ... dongs ... goddamn it.
natebooze
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT??? GET THIS FUCKING DUCK OF MY BOAT!! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO ROW WITH A 400lb LEGO DUCK ON THE ASS END OF YOUR RAFT??
Brett-Butler
"Windows Vista has found a bug in LIFE.phps. Would you like to ABORT/RETRY/FAIL?
spydrmunkie
it's so sad when you can tell that the parents really did the project instead of the kids.
conquistador117
See guys... I told you the stand-up canoe wouldn't be the worst boat on the lake!!
Leaf
The animal looked to it's left and then quickly to it's right... It was then that I knew it was a Peking Duck...
wityadidja
I wonder if under that boxy skin there is a robot bent on killing Sarah Connor, again.
jack2051
"Sir, the munchkins had to tear up the yellow brick road to build that ship, are you sure it will get rid of the pirates?"
hizerkyte
Some might say that running over this duck with your pickup and beating it to death with an oar would be impossible... I say it's a CHALLENGE!
Jaded-E
Cloverfield was based on a true story. Some names and monsters may have been changed during the making of the movie.
CardCraze
"I don't know, he's not our type. I mean were dark skinned and he's just... a quacker"
garbage_day
After King Kong and Mothra, suspicions are rife that the next 'Godzilla vs...' film will be a bit shit.
nmasyk
Then Lancelot, Galahad, and I, leap out of the duck, taking the French by surprised!
Vluenvy
I'm sponsored by lego. Who the fuck are YOU sponspored by? Huh? HUH? yea, thought so.
Least
It was the only way to appease the giant Burt and Ernie that had been destroying the town.
H.R.Hippo
"Well, i still think taking it out of Fort Knox and disguising it as a rubber ducky was a good idea."
Ed_Gein
With their Trojan Ruber Ducky, Oscar-the-Grouch and Cookie Monster invade Bert and Ernie's bathtub
zapper1
Mark knew he was being followed, but didn't know the horror awaiting him when he turned around.
physicstudent
There is a line between cute and scary and this is way the fuck on the wrong side.
Gatt
Jim, this isn't what I meant when I said I wanted to take the "rubber duck" out fishing.
gypsy61
"And so it shall pass that human will paddle duck." Behold the first sign, Lord Xenu's return is nigh
Fealiks
'Dude, I told you LEGO floats!' 'But why a duck?' '...are you retarded? Why the hell wouldn't I make a LEGO duck? Idiot'
Ozweego
The sad thing is, that is my home town in the background. Such a gay place to grow up
Brett-Butler
I'd like to say he was a good lifeguard, but the truth is he's a bit of a quack.
CavalierX
"The enemy left this as a tribute. Let's tow it inside the gates!" - History repeats at Camp Troy
Col.Smashy
Always one to read the fine print, Max found a bizarre loophole allowing him to duck out of Naval service.
getittwistd
I am Cyclops duck, I will eat you for dinner, or supper, or whatever the hell you want to call it.
xgrendelx
Which is more amazing? The giant rubber ducky or the seemingly endless supply of Messiah's that are sweeping the water?
twiglet
And now for the rowing, one of the more heavily contested events in the “unnecessarily difficult Olympics”.
Fealiks
'WHERE ARE WE GOING, DAVE?' 'Just shut the fuck up, giant talking duck. I just need some rest and you'll be all gone. And once I get to shore and get this LSD out of my system, maybe these dragon legs I seem to be sporting will help me get work as a
getittwistd
In the wild, Ducks will often poop out miniature versions of themselves to throw off predators who might be stalking them.
Julius_Goat
Aug. 14, 2008. Hamshire MA: Authorities retrieve the first sign of the creature that would soon be known as "Ernie-zilla."
Brett-Butler
They called me crazy when I said I could make a duck out of gold bars and keep it afloat. BUT WHO's LAUGHING NOW?
phreesh
Did you ever wonder if our universe is contained within one massive rubber ducky and that rubber ducky is contained itself in yet another rubber ducky and so forth all the way on up? Yeah, me neither.
Fealiks
'Dude, are you paddling a giant duck with you?' 'Yes. You have no idea how laborious this is'
PeptoOverdose
it was supposed to be fashioned after a vagina, but I don't know what one looks like.
Fealiks
'Well, Mark, you've done it again. You've made a complete dick of yourself by rowing a giant LEGO animal across the lake. Seriously, man, this is like the eighth time. This has to stop'
Priapism
Despite Jim's repeated requests for Squeaky to back off, Squeaky continued. That is, until Jim's oar "accidentally" found Squeaky's nether regions.
Blammo
Maybe would shouldn't have spent the night drinking and picking up those hookers and worked a little harder on our raft........NAHHHHH!
jekelish
"You know, he's the one with the giant webbed feet, yet I'M the one doing all of the paddling. This is bullshit!"
Bionic_Crouton
Jake's hatred of giant Lego ducks is about to bite him in the ass...Literally!
unmoris
After blowjob island is discovered, the last to hear have to make due with what's around.
D.Ray
I'm ridin' on a duck, paddlin' and shit, The duck is quackin', gettin' errbody all wet, This ain't the bathtub, nah dis as real as it gets, I'm on a duck mothafucker don't you ever forget.
hijodela
Joe sneaked out of his hiding place to phase 2 of his ingeneous way to cheat at the kayak race.
daniwani
As if the harassment and abuse wasn't enough, after the rubber duckie incident, Ernie got a restraining order against Bert
Tardex
They said it could never be done, but just look at him now, a waterborne pedophile.
unmoris
You don't have to have an enormous duck to look like a fucking idiot... but, it helps.
2noame
"Rubber Ducky you're the one. You make rowing lots of fun! We're in the sun and you weigh a ton. Four people laughing, hand me my gun!"
TheSock
"Never mind. It's your turn to drive." No point in mentioning these ducks, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough.
lismartarse
Someone took the phrase "a re-enactment of those quack somali pirates" a tad too seriously....
spydrmunkie
red leader, this is Ernie 1. The target is in sight. I repete. The target is in sight>
Leaf
Tom Hanks named a volleyball 'Wilson' to keep him company, but nooooo... I'M the crazy one...
nu77fac3
...I made a duck; I made a duck for you, and everything you do...it was all yellow.
quagmyre
Paddling around with his Trojan Duck would ensure that he would have no use for a Trojan Condom.
iantendo
"Oh shit here here he comes! Pretend you haven't seen him... Steve don't look at him!!! Oh crap he spotted you... now he's coming over"
JimTarbuck
"That's right, keep paddling, the cash point's over there to the right, nice and easy. DON'T LOOK AT THOSE PEOPLE!!"
coachfinder
Totally unrealistic... Ducks change color as they bigger, and he is fuckin huge!
diggerjohn111
Due to budgetary cuts, the US Navy looks for new stealth ship technologies.
DCracker
"Yeah, this was totally worth it. Look, 2 out of those 4 guys are looking at me." thought Jimmy.
gitsum
Little Johnny was never a good listener - especially true when his American History teacher laid eyes on his reproduction of a Native-American duck-out canoe...
rockordude21
You know what I hate? Giant fucking ducks. I can't fucking stand them. I just... whats wrong with you guys? (pause) There's one right behind me isn't there...
NextChewbacca
Someone's been tampering with the Crossing of the Delaware painting again.
Great...Drew's rowing over. Remember, don't mention the big duck growing outta his ass
spectre_vampire
Hmmm, I wanna take both my rubber ducky AND my LEGOs in the tub with me, but mom says I can only have one. Wait, I've got an idea!
DevinP
This picture was supposed to appear on Quacked.com. We apologize for the confusion. - Cracked.com
buddywts
When you said you had a "Chick mobile that runs on water" I thought you were a stud AND a genius.......
buddywts
with a rubber duck that big- you KNOW that's not the only stroke he's mastered.....
barnett
The Duckboat was later sunk in a collision with a 7-ton chunk of wholemeal bread. There were no survivors.
zastrow
Fame, as it tends to do, takes it's toll on one's ego. And so it happened that Rubber Ducky just got too big to be seen with the likes of Ernie.
Versus
Life jacket: 30$, Paddle: 50$, Shoeboxes, yellow paint and tape: 150$, Showing the rowing community how desperately you need a girlfriend: Priceless.
zastrow
Fame, as it tends to do, takes it's toll on one's ego. And so it happened that Rubber Ducky got too big to be seen with the likes of Ernie.
DeathDivine
And after he won the rubber ducky race he was sent to the edical tent for steroid testing.
DeathDivine
And after he won the rubber ducky race he was sent to the edical tent for steroid testing. And after he won the rubber ducky race he was sent to the medical tent for steroid testing.
Narcosis
After a long day, Godzilla returns to his private bathtub, also known as Lake Michigan, to unwind.
spectre_vampire
You know how it goes: you get one of those huge-ass jacuzzi tubs installed and then nothing else seems to match.
wityadidja
The Red Bull Kayaking Race entry "Quackers" lost in the first heat to "Lesbionic Sharks".
Leaf
"A group of ducks is called a paddling, goddamnit! Why am I the only one who's doing any?!?!"
Voffvoffhunden
"They all laughed at me! Said it would never swim! We'll show 'em, my ugly little duckling. Yes we will."
Supermanfxk
The humane society only realized their error AFTER they were well away from Legoland.
wityadidja
Virgins everywhere donated their unused wallet condoms to make a "real" rubber duck.
Leaf
After becoming lost in the land of Oz, Dorothy spent three days following the yellow brick duck.
87gn
Billy Mays' career went sadly straight to hell when he lost his hair, and concurrently his self-esteem. Fortunately his annoying voice still attracted a following.
crhino
ATTENTION YOU IN THE BOAT.....GET THE DUCK OUTTA HERE....I REPEAT GET THE DUCK OUTTA HERE
RandyChimp
That guy must be absolutely quackers! HA HA HA HA! Quackers! You know.....it sounds like crackers......fuck you!
wityadidja
So...do you release the giant duck if you hear banjos? You know, as a distraction.
rinkster
The baby duck looked scared as it went out on the water for the first time and realized he was completely made of yellow bars of soap.
rinkster
The giant rubber ducky started shitting small ducky's when he realized the kayaker had captured him.
iamoldgregg
Man Goes In The Raft, Raft Goes In The Water… Duck’s In The Water… Our Duck.
hotdogfingers
The ALF released him from Nintendo's research lab... They were working on Baby Duck Hunt for the Wii.
Dale7759
Row Row Row the duck, gently to the sea, merrily merrily merrily merrily, life is but a dream.
SpanksU
"Rubber Ducky you're the one ... you make bath time so much fun. Rubber Ducky I'm so in love with y---- AHHH MY FACE AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
WarrenGHarding
Tony found it much harder to paddle with something stuck in the quack of his ass.
jaydog888
After disturbing it's young, Henry was raped repeatedly by the giant duck in front of horrified yet helpless onlookers...
Zacoftheaxes
New methods of driving off common predators of ducks are having mixed results...
muppet1010
The craptions are all shit, it should be replaced with a page re-assuring everyone who takes the time to concoct a craption that they are indeed funny and special.
WarrenGHarding
Of course I want to return it. Do you think I'd pay that much for the "World's Best DUCK?"
DoctorX
(To the tune of "Jaws.") o/\ Duck-Duck-Duck-Duck, Duck-Duck-Duck-Duck, Duck-Duck-Duck-Duck, Duck-Duck-Duck-Duck, G-G-GOOSE! Duck-Duck-Duck-Duck... o/\
sabre2spartan
The Japanese version of Lost is somehow even more bizzare than the original
lordrambridge
When aroused the duck lord begins mating with the first living creature that comes into view.
boggsytrav
Rubber Ducky you're the one you make bath time lots of....OH MY GOD YOU'RE HUGE!
BobMussolini
Where too much weed, too many yellow legos, and a nautical bent will get you.
v_raziel
Rubber Duckie you're the one You make bath time lots of fun Rubber Duckie I'm awfully fond of you Oh doh doh te oh Rubber Duckie joy of joys When I squeeze you, you make noise...
Helrath
♪ Rubber Duckie, you're the one! You make boating, lots of fun! ♫ And then he fired the torpedoes. It's all true I swear!
GobletBoy
Bob was surprised at how big the little toy duck grew once water he added water.
CaptionDatAss
Pro athletes usually make big bucks. Unfortunately for pro kayakers, they make big ducks.
CaptionDatAss
The risky release of industrial-size legos would ultimately "sink" the Lego Group.
tkav1980
and the 2009 guiness world record for least boobies ever touched goes to........
haus_maus
"SING IT MINIONS!!! RUBBER DUCKY YOUR THE ONE! I see you back there Carl...sing louder damnit!"
CaptionDatAss
Casey mistakenly typed in "fags with big ducks" when he googled for gay porn
CaptionDatAss
Godzilla destroyed all those cities 'cause he was looking for his rubber ducky. This dumbass had it the entire time.
CaptionDatAss
Giant rubber duckies made of frozen blocks of piss? Hey, whatever floats your boat, man!
CaptionDatAss
The submarine's radar didn't detect anything, but it's gaydar detected something HUGE...
hockeygoalie
NASA's newest design for tiles on the space shuttle had some unusual outside applications..
NightOwl26335
Row, row, row the duck, gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily his life's a manic schizo's dream."
NightOwl26335
Iran's increased naval presence was concerning but not so much so after it was actually seen.
NightOwl26335
Who needs an electronic fish finder when you've got big ass giganta duck on your side?
NightOwl26335
Like everything else, the Water Parade of Lights at Disneyland Paris was an utter failure.
NightOwl26335
Although the boat was dubbed the SS Rubber Ducky, it's internal specifications were uncannily similar to those of another ship known as the Titanic.
maveryh
The campers thought it was cute at first, then suddenly, Jason leaped out of the massive Trojan Ducky.
Mr.McCreepy
and thats when they realized that they shouldnt have dumped all the toxic waste into the same lake.
87gn
He went to buy a new Chrysler from Obama Motors, but this was all he could float a loan for. But hey, 0% financing for 84 months is hard to resist!
87gn
Sneaking gold bricks out of Fort Knox was much easier than Delbert had ever imagined. Months of planning for nothing, he just piled them on the barge and paddled out undetected.
leet
This is a fake. I can tell by some of the pixels and because I´ve seen quite a few shops in my time.
rape_pillage
When kayaking into hostile waters, Eric took the phrase "Duck for cover" a little too literally.
squeak
"the brown acid that is circulating around us isn't too good. It is suggested that you stay away from that. Of course it's your own trip."
sirapoc
After working 26 hours straight on his boat, john noticed he came short one orange block to finish his duck.
H1tman007
After his dalliance with Bruno, Eminem decided to embrace his inner homosexual.
hockeygoalie
The annual festival in which the giant cheddar-cheese duck takes on the summer sun. Nachos being sold for 2 dollars a bag.
kingjorge.twbf
I ASKED FOR SHARKS WITH FREEKIN LASER BEAMS ON THEIR FREEKIN HEADS AND THIS IS WHAT I GET!
shogun1204
"Paddle on the Lake auction services": Next up for bid is the a vintage Movie piece from Batman Returns.
sexybeast
When Ted Said He Going to Bring A "Friend'" We Thought Nothing Of it..We Were Badly Wrong..
MitchellCole
This is a picture of a man with a raft that was designed to look like a duck. Seriously, that's what it is.
newmanat724
To avoid certain defeat, Scrooge McDuck was forced to reveal his secret weapon.
Lyeon27
Little did they know that under this lake resides the extremely rare..... Wait what the fucks witht the giant duck
WarrenGHarding
Has no one made a "quacked.com" joke yet? Really? Because I would think that's rather obvious.
ELFfromToronto
here we have the devil and the duck disorder shown from that article on doctors
slash2049
Little Jimmy was beginning to regret asking his mom where chocolate milk came from..
Bams
When the Genie asked her what she wanted most, she had no idea she'd get two bicycle pumps as legs in return to repay the favour of getting married the man "who would walk on water for her".
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