Shurimpu
What's really amazing is that whatever-this-is- happens often enough that they need a sign for it.
verglas
For 25 cents it's your choice of "quick and painless," "slow and horrible",or "clumsy bludgeoning"; ah the future is here, and it is great.
geniuswaitress
Great. First the handicapped get their own toilets; now it's the retards.
Burningrabbits
Amongst people, it is customary to take off your hat as a sign of common courtesy. Amongst lego people, it is a sign of respect to take off your head and salute.
Obtusetriangle
Freaking Japan, with their flashlights and bowling balls and weird signs.
esseestpercipi
WARNING: Performing oral sex with the Fleshlight may be hazardous to your health
geniuswaitress
I used to think magic sucked, but I'm pretty psyched to see what happens to the chick in this box.
queenarcoleptia
Yeah, it looks cool, but when you go in the booth, it's just an ad for a timeshare.
Dranj
It is required that all teleportation booths carry this Surgeon General's warning.
Warren_et
There seem to be more boards behind the first one. Maybe it is some sort of life size flip art.
Zatak
I'm glad they put the sign up...I was having a hard time figuring out which bathroom to go in.
geniuswaitress
I used to be sad because I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet, no head, and a flashlight crammed down the maw. Then I bought flip flops.
Keralastic
It's a little known fact that the throat holds all of the necessary components for rocket fuel.
mmmm...
The fleshlight gives head, sure, but it's not to be used entirely INSTEAD of head.
EnterFrench
One day, Mario tried to jump up the wrong pipe. Thanks to Luigi we now have this cautionary sign.
Brett-Butler
Marvel's next comic character, Vacuum-Cleaner Man, didn't go down to well with the public.
dying_in_back
The phonebooth where mild-mannered Carl Kent disrobes and turns into Flashlight...Head...Man... Fuck it, I tried.
tallestmunchkin
For Billy the mannequin, his mother's words "you'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on" proved to be eerily prophetic.
ysocerious
The decapitation photo booth never proved as popular in the US as it did in Europe
youuxwishh
The saying is "Turn the light bulb on," not "Replace your brain with a flashlight..."
wamsachel
A sign outside Lucasfilm, a threat to all who actually want Star Wars to be better
Brett-Butler
You may laugh, but if I had the chance to have a torch for a head and survive I'd go for it.
Warren_et
This whole place is dangerous, those trees in the background are getting sucked into...something.
Zaphod
the phrase "I'm going to rip off your head and shit down your neck" got a little muddled in translation...
Todzilla
You know, if it wasn't beaten around worse than Rihanna, I'd throw out a 'Previously on Lost.'
Swiffo
While both your head and a flashlight are used to see things it is important not to confuse the two.
Julius_Goat
Ever wish you could detach your head, hold it like a bowling ball, and then use a flashlight to set your insides on fire? Well, NOW YOU CAN!
Zaphod
okay, who's bright idea was it to design the android with a solar-powered stomach?
dandaman
Ever since the light went out on the endoscope, the doctors have had to resort to alternate methods of lighting.
Todzilla
Dammit where are my glasses. I can't read who's not supposed to enter this thing.
geniuswaitress
Once they let trampoline in, pretty much anything could become an Olympic event.
Warren_et
And yes, I will shit down your neck, I just need see what I'm doing...so can you hold the light for me?
Jonny5
Caution, if you feel light-headed while bowling, please dont participate in Craption contests.
Jonny5
If you have negotiated the futuristic cones, avoided the falling car and recognised this Are Your Headlights On sign, you have passed the driving test!!
tallestmunchkin
Fox's ad campaign for their new reality show sparked much confusion throughout the country.
Shane?
I've had a gastroscopy and a colonoscopy. Ripping my head off and shining a light inside me would've been preferable to either one, especially the latter.
zeeguy
Santa Claus just rammed his head into his body, using a beer bottle. He didn't want to lose face to his alcoholism, but he failed. Also, he is going to play ball.
zeeguy
"They laughed at me at the sign factory when I submitted this design. Well who's laughing now, huh? WHO'S LAUGHING NOW??!!" - Still them.
Leaf
In Japan, it's proper to remove your shoes and your head before using the washroom...
fooeagle53
when told by the therapist to look inside himself for the answer, Fred took it a little too seriously...
tuesunsommiel
step 1: remove head step 2: shine flashlight directly into hole step 3: confuse the rest of the world
tcsmiley
Johnny's abstract paintings were key in distracting passerby's from the illegal pot farm.
Pasties2
Just because it has no head, arms or feet, appears to be holding a ball and have a flashlight for a head, doesn't mean you can discriminate...
FLYEboi50
Bobby told John that he couldn't see his shit with a flashlight because he was looking down the wrong hole.
Crews
new! SKINNY HEAD! finally fit your head into those tiny spaces you've always dreamed of!
InfernalNoob
That Port-O-Potty Is For The Exclusive Use Of Dick Tracy Villain, Flashlight-Head, Only!
outoftimeman
A booth specially designed for travelers who need their daily fix of Fox News.
AbsoluteLad
The new Dyson Cyclone-X got off to a bad start when the control testers attempted to find a blockage.
IrishGorilla
To take in the full intensity of our new flashlight, please take head off and flash light down your throat. Thank you for your time.
dstbstr
When using the flashlight to check for internal damage, make sure to remove head first.
Burningrabbits
Huh. So that's what they meant when they told me not to pretend lightsabers were cheese sticks.
gezundheit
The strongest flashlight in history! Over 40 trillion candle power! And totally safe!*
Jeppa
At the Centre for Horrible Buddist studies, you will examine your inner self... horribly
RandyChimp
see, now, people think its scary when you shine a torch under your chin. This guy'll fuck with their heads! after he's done with his obviously.
DaveGee
This is what happens when the Mafia get lazy, and INSIST that you do the job yourself.
DaveGee
I think you've gotten through the hardest part when you rip your OWN HEAD off, but this is just showing off.
grumnut1
The range of signs created for the HEADLESS zombies had to be scrapped after the whole "We don't have any head" thing was pointed out.
LetsPlayClowns
I'm gonna go ahead and say that this is NOT the correct procedure for checking to see if your tonsils are swollen.
Jumba77
Dear Designer, When I requested a head flashlight, this is not what I had in mind!
mariam67
Great Santa, you got your head stuck in the vacuum tube again. What did I tell you about auto-erotic asphyxiation? I'll get the elves to bring along some vaseline and HOPEFULLY you've learned a lesson.
Brightlamp
This isn't really what they meant when they said "the answers are within you."
AbsoluteChaos92
We here at OFFINGYOURSELF are not responsible for last minute changes of heart, proceed with caution
bookworm8294
Warning: Shining flashlight in eyes may result in spontaneous loss of cranium
Cleaverson
No one knows what's going on with that guy, but he sure is looking shagadellic.
newkirk
now children, the easiest way to remember your greater then and less then signs is to just look at this picture. See? Flashlight > head
phate
And this particular Star Wars blooper was never mentioned again. May Skywalker's stuntman rest in peace.
iamgodzilla
And it's Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top saluting his ol' red texas, little sharp dressed man
Cody Johnston
This Port-O-John is exclusively for people with flowing wizard's beards who bowl.
narenial
Jimmy had always wanted to shine a flashlight to see inside of him. Unfortunately, his eyes no longer worked . . .
sethmakesense
You must look inside your self to have the earth for a hand. Wait, is this a bowling toilet? Or does this mean we are headless shits looking down on ourselves with our balls in our hands.
wityadidja
Billy Mays here! Tired of not seeing over people? Try giraffe neck extenders graft one on today!
Emwurst
Anyone else notice that you need to respond pretty fast to a craption in order to get Crack Ups?
captaincabbage
Man, people really don't read safety instructions for lightsabers anymore
MegaRouge
Warning: Use of SuperMaglite in ways other than intended may cause nausea, sweating, dry mouth, decapitation, or dizziness.
Downtheline
Warning! Trying to perform the swordeating stunt with your lightsaber may result in severe beaheading
pea
what do you know, turns out he really couldn't find his asshole with both hands and a flashlight.
Lady_Grey
Here, the local legend of pinheaded, weight-lifting Santa is immortalized to the delight of all the children.
sgt.salt
I've decided to replace my head with an upside down Christmas tree. why? because fuck it, that's why
fluf
Miss, please enter the left door as I enter the right for your free breast and gynecological exam!
fdurden35
I heard about people needing to be enligthened from within but this is quite an exageration
tallestmunchkin
Kindly remember to remove your head before inserting the giant flashlight.
ATPkid
Okay I get it, so first i take my head off and THEN use the flashlight to grow hair on my chest
ray18
Whoever invented the technology that allows you to replace your head with a torch was presumably stoned out of his mind.
Warren_et
He's an old guy with a flashlight for a head who loves to bowl...Jeff Goldblum is Mr. Wacky next on ABC.
uatemyduck
Why buy bowling balls when you can have the Cranioectomy Booth. Flashlight/head replacement not included.
Paco_the_Insane
Warning: Replacing your head with a flashlight will not improve your bowling skills.
Todzilla
I'd be more appalled by the booth there if I wasn't so sure the plants were taking control of the facility.
MrMISCHIEF
I will rip your head off and shove a flashlight down your neck just doesn't sound as intimidating as the defecating version.
NaughtybyNature
Do not shine a torch through the corpse of a freshly guillotined head. Good thing they told me.
moveeby84
The new recruit for the autobots wasn't happy when they kicked him out for not being powerful enough.
Pwnographic
Not only did the man inside this box have a very long beard, but e had a square hat aswell!
pulpfriction
i said you could take your flashlight and shove it up your ass...not down your throat
divinecomedy33
Pogo-sticking works best when FIRST removing the head to ensure proper neck-hole crammage
Stéphane
This is the kid's version of course. The adult version makes all the way to the crotch. As if you didn't know that.
Zatak
If you were going to rip your head off and replace it with a rocket-bong....now you know better.
rjskillz
little did johnny know that bowling balls and explosive flashlights would prove to be a deadly combination.
FrostLight
Apparently the esteemed art of 'Sword Swallowing' took a bad turn with the advent of the Light Saber
u18c
The flashlight bone is connected to the- shoulder bone. The shoulder bone is connected to the- arm bone. The arm bone is connected to the- bowling ball bone.
pulpfriction
SERIOUSLY! this is fucking weird I mean why the hell do you need 2 door handles?!?!?!?!?
mikewalker19
To examine your oesophagus simply rip of your head and look around with a flashlight!
u18c
if you look closely, there is a smaller picture of a fat ninja fighting off babies.
JackOfSpades
A drawing from a 12 year old Nick Cage on what he wanted to be when he grew up.
JROY
After this sign design got past the conception stage, measures were taken to make sure there were no more 'Sign Designers on Acid' fiascoes.
DaveGee
Removing your head and using a flashlight as a microphone WON'T win you the next Idol
lordastral
This is your head...this is your headless body on Drugs. -paid for by the Chinese Government.
Pligus
Somewhat less famous is the Ghost of the Yellow Porto-John, who rides around at night with not a head, but a MAGLITE.
Cradlejack
THIS SUMMER, GET READY FOR AN ADVENTURE LIKE NOTHING YOU'VE SEEN BEFORE. FROM DIRECTOR MICHEAL BAY COMES...THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS. COMING JUNE 2010.
Turpentine
Please remember to use portal to other dimension when on way to work correctly
Warren_et
The WTF Sign Company takes great pride in supplying all your incomprehensible, enigmatic, fathomless, impenetrable, incognizable, inconceivable, inscrutable, mysterious, mystifying, obscure, opaque, perplexing, puzzling, sibylline, unclear, unfathom
sumumabitch
To avoid blowing your mind when smoking the rocketbong, please detach head from shoulders first
yupimhere
Bill: "So why don't we just use the word Caution again?" Sam: "Too easy. We have to make these fuckers guess."
SlickRick
they laughed at me when I submitted THIS design at the factory...and they still do but it's a good thing my bro's the the safety inspector
Yick
And that's when Nic Cage realized his flashlight is even more important than his head.
Zaphod
BRAWNDO!!! it's like RIPPING off your own HEAD and pouring LIQUID AWESOME down your GAPING NECKHOLE!!!!
colgate
CNN: Recession forces NASA to optimize the payload.Hence sending only the useful parts into the space
nintendorian
when cleaning your light-saber never look directly into the head, or risk losing yours
Warren_et
Stephen King's latest suckfest: Dremel man. Oooh, he'll kill ya. It might take a bit of doing. But he'll sure kill ya!
Warren_et
The WTF Sign Company takes great pride in supplying all your incomprehensible, enigmatic, fathomless, impenetrable, inscrutable, mysterious, mystifying, obscure, opaque, perplexing, puzzling, unclear, ungraspable, and unintelligible warning sign need
blinkin
First sign you might be in a low budget hospital: an endoscopy uses a Maglite and is preceded by a decapitation.
stratmaster69
as seen in the star wars deleted scenes, lukes first try at the lightsaber proved to be a failure
realmartin84
Wizard hat... Check, Crazy beard... Check, Mystical Ball... Check. The 8-Bit Merlin was almost ready to be a 2D wizard in a 3D world. The feel good hit of the summer.
rockymcrock
When your head falls off and your body is spliting in half, a flashlight shouldn't be the first thing you grab for.
gamerelite1
And so the Large Hadron Collider has opened a portal to the world of the flashlight-heads.
Wutan
The CIA found out that anal probe's aren't that practical and decided to go in an other direction.
kaseri
Even with the flashlight trick, blondes were still having trouble putting that twinkle in their eye.
kaseri
Even with the flashlight trick, blondes are still having trouble putting that twinkle in their eye.
paleo_kid
ummm sir why did you carry a bowling ball and put a bowling pin on your neck this is just something that has been bothering me
papajon0s1
Inspiration for rejected Journey lyrics: "When the light goes dooown the chest cavity. And the head swings ooooon the aaarm.... I don't want to be theeere like that siiign. Ooooww ooooh oooowww oooouch!" Everyone sing along this time!
annabanana1988
Apparently, the price of having an awesome beard is a torch for a head...
stevet
Give it up. I TOLD you I'd stick it where you couldn't even find it with a flashlight!
ShadeOfLight
Sure, it's a stupid warning NOW. But seriously, bankruptcy is just one moron and a lawsuit away.
ShadeOfLight
Sure, it's a stupid warning NOW. But seriously, bankruptcy is just one moron and a lawsuit away.
Stagecoach
His big nose and bushy beard made him easy to recognize, bit it was his bowling-skills that made him famous.
Kramminator
"Flashlighthead" Jones stood there wondering how he was going to pick up that 7-10 split.
fiskehandler
Only bowling-playing-people-flashlight-like-heads admitted past this point.
seanieboy123
Link starts drooling from the mouth when he sees the necklace and unsheathes his sword...
TheUnitedEmpire
Stephen Hawking, age 2, trying to graphically explain the relation of dark matter and gravity. Stephen would more clearly explain this at a later age using small animals.
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
Copyright © 2005 - 2009 Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved. CRACKED, CRACKED.COM and the "CRACKED" logo are trademarks owned by Cracked Entertainment, Inc. All rights reserved.
Nov 7th, 2009 
Nov 6th, 2009 
Nov 5th, 2009 
Nov 4th, 2009 
Nov 3rd, 2009 
Nov 2nd, 2009 
Oct 31st, 2009 
Oct 30th, 2009 
Oct 29th, 2009 
Oct 28th, 2009 
Oct 27th, 2009 
Oct 26th, 2009 
Oct 25th, 2009 
Oct 24th, 2009 
Oct 23rd, 2009 
Oct 22nd, 2009 
Oct 21st, 2009 
Oct 20th, 2009 
Oct 19th, 2009 
Oct 18th, 2009 
Oct 17th, 2009 
Oct 16th, 2009 
Oct 15th, 2009 
Oct 14th, 2009 
Oct 13th, 2009 
Oct 12th, 2009 
Oct 11th, 2009 
Oct 10th, 2009 
Oct 9th, 2009 
Oct 8th, 2009 
Oct 7th, 2009 
Least 
Unsaturated15 
dramdan 
Amer 
Batman? 
Shiloh17 
DrTom 
T Bird 
blackjew 
first_fuerst 
reinierl 
Medusamania 
Ozzie_Freedom 
gamma_ray 
ShawnStu 
zbeebs 
pjunk 
sm82chico 
cigjonser 
bafaulkner 
sarduchi 
plasticbubbles 
Amadman 
barrab 
imacipod 
McBatman 
darkwolf 
Truthiness 
Blinker_Fluid 
PeptoOverdose 
Wanderer 
kru2jr 
m.h-acar 
Jaidy 
toonasty 
Anonymouscredo 
gotbass7 
jonnygonzo 
LCP 
polancoj16 
Rattlehead 
Boxy 
Metzzger 
mrpeabody 
lindseys 
house_fire 
peirs 
JigIsUp 
Dan Thompson 
madgoat 
kurtofan 
topcatyo 
buscompany 
Deimos 
PiiX 
captainHamsack 
spectre_vampire 
peteyk 
ramsay356 
Rob-omb 
Tetsudai 
momoy 
Spoken 
larfleeze 
Henky 
jakamneziak 
styxtwo 
laos 
Huhhuduhhuh 
tyrelvnne 
krysil 
habbazoot 
picc01 
Brandeezy09 
shinn-diggity 
TheBeatles 
juxtaposedus 
cchaos 
Bishopwhitet 
fraserdazed 
kimicaaaa 
JustFakeIt 
Vozpit 
hibou 
rakotzu 
ImaginaryDurden 
skellator 
Zyph-kun 
beej 
Zorrou 
bcboo 
Ylangylang 
Rattatat 
smoochy 
slvs 
benrichardsrm 
HolyDiver 
BRCgull 
Gonzalez 
Trying2hard 
maedene 
LDMEXICO 
G1drake 
diggerjohn111 
inmate42392 
swankyway 
TheAtomicPunk 
MrFingers 
MattHack 
cheat85 
BurgerMeister 
yaoininja 
Ungeheuer 
AziDahak 
Mister.Brown 
BowToMe 
OvaltinePatrol 
Nashiren 
MikeMack 
Maradukh 
wtplove 
Retardation 
Palindrome 
wdh4185 
nikoinist 
neathy 
rosslorenz 
piggy4242 
TheTaoOfBill 
Tully 
GamerSW 
87gn 
biometal33 
Rex-Jester 
CheeseGimp 
