Craptions Classics March 30, 2009

"Do you really expect me to talk?" "No, Mr. Bear . . . I expect you to dry. Oh, and you'll be washed first. Then comes the drying. It's all pretty standard, actually."


Other Craptions

Rape-a-Bear Workshop


First they came for the teddy bears, and I said nothing because I was plastic. -Doll Massacre survivor


Beary McBear couldn't bear to work at the Bear Shop any longer. He was getting paid the bear minimum and was bearely scrapping by.He knew it was time to grin and bear it and just go for his become a bear-knuckle fighter.


Serial Killer Starter Kit, ages 6+

CRACKED Staff,David Wiens

Oh sure, they got the white bear workin' hard while the brown bear just laaaaays around...Perpetuatin' the stereotype!


The first gag-ball was too big. The second gag-ball was too small. But then she found Baby Bear's gag-ball and it fight just right.


Toy Story 3: The Recession


FLASHBACK: ("Awww look...his eharmony profile says he keeps a few stuffed animals in his room. I bet you he is really sensitive and loving!")


After the teddy bear picnic, where nobody sees what happens...


and that was the end of Teddy Ruxpin...


This is what George Bush believes was happening at Guantanamo Bay.


Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy was strapped to a chair, Fuzzy Wuzzy was doomed to a life of providing free power for laundry service for all the other little bears, wasn't he?

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