Other Craptions

"So Dan, I hear your son is some gay designer of some kind?" "Yeah.... but I sent him out back to stack the firewood. That should straighten him out!"

Then the big bad wolf said, "fuck it."

Chuck Norris learns how to crochet.

Give me the receipt, we're going back to that IKEA store right now!

Man, my ark doesn't look anything like in the bible.

The "amber waves of grain" are a lot less patriotic and a lot more terrifying than you think.

Apparently, the first little pig also did meth.

Deserts can have waves, too. They just suck.

The fossilized skeleton of the ancient Toothpickosaurus drew undergrad paleontology students from far and wide searching for a bitchin' senior thesis.

As a kid, Frank Gehry's link-n-log structures showed more promise than the other 1st graders.

It was the last time Salvadore Dali was allowed to organize Burning Man.

Nobody realized House Resolution #420, the "George W. Bush Memorial Hurricane Shelter Act," was a joke until it was too late.

Designed by architect George R. IMABIGFREAKINGBIRD

12:00 p.m. March 25. 2009. The wicker became self aware

TIMBER WAVE!

Natural resources were sparse for the North American Shirtless Beach Douche. They were forced to make due with what they had. The results, as you see, were often spectacular.

"That's right, walk away Bill! I told you my son could make better fucking sand castles than yours! Coward!"

EXTREME game of Pick Up Sticks, dudes.

You wiped out the island's entire forest for THIS?

Dear cracked, I don't think you have enough pictures of big things which are usually little things. Love, Nobody.

Found: Where the Wickerman was born.

Hey! I found a needle.

Torgdor is totally going to burninate this.

Is anyone else worried about FKelleghan?

Shit look at those tits.

Loading Sandworm.mtr...Texturing...

Thousands flock every day to behold the wonder and majesty of the Sand Vagina.

At 3:01 Eastern, she rushed to Cracked.com to submit her entry. But it was too late. Everyone had already submitted their craptions

This year's wickerman was going to have a kick ass pompadour.

Insert Noah's Ark Reference Here:__________________ Your grade will be determined not by cleverness or humor, but by how many other users know and fake accounts you own.

Wicker: Hippies can build almost anything out of it, except love.

The tunnel that leads from the beach...to the beach. Brilliant.

They're after the eggs to make the world's biggest omelet.

Six months after someone said "Manuals are for pussies."

The Sydney Opera House is less impressive up close.

Is anybody here not too stoned to help finish the Burning Man? Hello? Anybody?

Well, it's beautiful, but the fire marshall has some comments

IT'S A TRAP!

Haha no but seriously Tom, the parties are fun now, but this place is fucked if we get a storm.

Few artifacts remain from God's "Vector Graphic" period.

Moses was able to part the hay sea; the holy needle was found and there was much rejoicing...yay.

More like "FRANK LLOYD WRONG! Hoowah!

Not...one...nail.

Your stimulus dollars at work

In Soviet Russia... There are no deserts.

And the Lord said onto Noah, "Dammit, that won't float, dumbass!"

This little piggy went to art school and built some faggy beach sculpture.

Oh i get it.. it's a metaphor for our economy built on Alan Greenspan's loose monetary policy and investment bankers' credit default swaps...

The little pig took years to build his house - his most prized possession. However the big bad wolf had spent that time working at the bank and simply repossed it....oh and he ate the pig.