Leaf
"So Dan, I hear your son is some gay designer of some kind?" "Yeah.... but I sent him out back to stack the firewood. That should straighten him out!"
GaseousClay
The "amber waves of grain" are a lot less patriotic and a lot more terrifying than you think.
Iapyx
The fossilized skeleton of the ancient Toothpickosaurus drew undergrad paleontology students from far and wide searching for a bitchin' senior thesis.
Iapyx
As a kid, Frank Gehry's link-n-log structures showed more promise than the other 1st graders.
ZacDilone
Nobody realized House Resolution #420, the "George W. Bush Memorial Hurricane Shelter Act," was a joke until it was too late.
orphan
Natural resources were sparse for the North American Shirtless Beach Douche. They were forced to make due with what they had. The results, as you see, were often spectacular.
Gambler
"That's right, walk away Bill! I told you my son could make better fucking sand castles than yours! Coward!"
orphan
Dear cracked, I don't think you have enough pictures of big things which are usually little things. Love, Nobody.
mysecretbush
Thousands flock every day to behold the wonder and majesty of the Sand Vagina.
Mioko
At 3:01 Eastern, she rushed to Cracked.com to submit her entry. But it was too late. Everyone had already submitted their craptions
ivecomehomenow
Insert Noah's Ark Reference Here:__________________ Your grade will be determined not by cleverness or humor, but by how many other users know and fake accounts you own.
cptnpeacocksuit
Moses was able to part the hay sea; the holy needle was found and there was much rejoicing...yay.
kengoldstein
Is anybody here not too stoned to help finish the Burning Man? Hello? Anybody?
billyh2o
Haha no but seriously Tom, the parties are fun now, but this place is fucked if we get a storm.
feralboy12
I entered a craption and IT'S NOT HERE. And it's 12:03 west coast time, so fuck it. I'm not going to bother.
london
The little pig took years to build his house - his most prized possession. However the big bad wolf had spent that time working at the bank and simply repossed it....oh and he ate the pig.
conquistador117
Oh i get it.. it's a metaphor for our economy built on Alan Greenspan's loose monetary policy and investment bankers' credit default swaps...
mus1prod
Aren't these the same fucking douche bags that whine about loosing the rain forest?
middy420
doucheman and faggasus were shocked to find tourists at their fortress of solitude
Drunktoad
When Noah was diagnosed with ADHD - his ship building skills just went down hill.
splainintodo
You there, you've come this far, now abandon your bikes and take up the orange wings.
restlessgiant
Obama's $1trillion economy booster starts to take its affect on the weird-sculpture industry. Still, at least they earned it more than those FUCKING EXPLOITING LITTLE-GUY-SHITTERS-ON BANKERS.
87gn
Don't laugh, I got a $3,000,000 unsecured loan on my new house from Fannie Mae. You really should see the basement!
Boondoggle
If you stand just in the right spot in the middle, you can hear the wind howl "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUselesswaste".
getittwistd
And to think, people laughed at me when I left my professorship at MIT for this.
lumberjef
Why bother with a stud finder when there's a stud right here! Meaning me, asshole!
humanity
Upon completing the structure, Randy knew he had reached the high point in his life. The low point was reached 30 minutes later when the tide came in.
Julius_Goat
They STILL aren't giving the levee rebuilding projects the funding they need.
technobot
After the recession ended, the government tried its best to rebuild our nation.
etarak
The boy scout never got a badge for fire-building. But he did get a letter from NASA wanting him to work with them on a few upcoming projects.
sephirothse
Ah crap my pink bicycle is in the picture, build that wood structure again so i can reshoot
Milkman
"It's a stairway to heaven" "Doesn't look finished." "Well that what happens when you put beach bums in charge"
beccababes
"Your Go" Said God to satan and they played the world's largest game of jenga the planet had seen
BennyF
Deep in the forbidden desert, primitive engineers began construction of Oprah's vagina.
Mr.Putter
the leaning tower of pizza doesnt compare to the freaky sculpture of uncooked spaghetti.
gtrplyr515
God said, "Noah, you shall create a great boat... and on it you will save two of every animal from the great flood." Then Noah asked unto God, "What shall I construct it out of?" And God answered, "Popsicle Sticks"
Supermanfxk
...and so Noah built his boat, leaving no room for the self aware spray cans, and God said WTF is that?
orinjayce
Insert craption using the following references: 3 little pigs, Gulliver's travels, or the Wicker Man/anything involving Nicholas Cage.
pharmmajor
The first attempt at the Epcot Center landmark didn't quite reflect the futuristic innovation Walt Disney had in mind.
ThePlatypus
Next on MTV: Extreme Celebrity Architecture With Chris Brown "Yo, Rihanna is this big enough for ya ass!!!!"
pharmmajor
They sad I was mad. Mad! Simply because I wanted to transfer the brain of Frank Lloyd Wright into a weaver bird! But look at what my creation has achieved! Who's laughing now?
Bizarro123
"Hey, it's tough to make it RIGHT when we're on all this ACID." "But look, the other camp has their man HALF built!"
Dranj
When there are typos in the Old Testament, history changes. In this universe, Moses parted the Reed Sea.
patjk73
The Lilliputions used the box of toothpicks Gulliver dropped to build themselves a new opera house.
Ozzie_Freedom
One of my Craptions (not this one) reached 4 crack ups! Thats a new record!
tlittlim
Eventually the three little pigs were chicken little's only supporters, waiting for the day of judgement...
shazbot
On the set of The Wicker Man 2, the masses were looking for Nick Cage's lost career.
tokyoguy100
Raymond: 82, 82, 82. Charlie: 82 what? Raymond: Two by fours. Charlie: There's a lot more than 82 two by fours, Ray. Raymond: 246 total.
eightdays
No one relized till it was to late. The little girl who rode the pink bike was actually Queen LaPickErNose, Ruler of the Great ToothPick People, and so begin her reign of other destruction.....
FreddyGx2
With our new vacation package, you too can find out what it is like to live inside a Punk Rocker's Haircut.
yes_taz
"It's build a crude man shape out of sticks, then do a shit load of drugs, not the other way around!" confusion at Burning Man..
kengoldstein
Before the crash this beachside property sold for $2.1 million, with free hurricane insurance!
Leaf
They didn't think little Jimmy was good enough to be in the sand-castle competition, so little Jimmy built a big "Fuck you" in the middle of the beach.
Niche
And God said: "Noah, you asshole! I told you to build an arc moron! How the fuck are you planning to sail in THAT?"
ivecomehomenow
"The original engineering plan for the Enterprise had serious design flaws."
GreenArrow
And then the second pig looked at the destruction and promptly thought: 'Up yours Wolf!'
agalryunaer
Dr. Manhattan, we know already you can turn anything into anything but we where surfing that
NoneTheWiser
Hey dude quick, take a picture of my cool devil wings. Yeah in front of that thing if you want
divinecomedy33
"Yeah, he said he'd trade me my pink bicycle for more bitches then I can shake a stick at...Or was it more sticks than I can shake a beach at? .."
etarak
Shocked at the beauty of the piggy's house and not wanting to destory it, the wolf decided to just hide in a bush and wait to slaughter the pig the next time he walked outside.
etarak
While Tim made all the degrading jokes on Tool Time, Al was envisioning something more beautiful.
crhino
Instruction Manual: And with that last stick in place, your Empire State Building model is complete....hmmm where did I go wrong?
KibblesnBitts
The most epic game of Pick up sticks will commence as soon as someone knocks down the structure.
Roscoe
Drawn by the lure's whimsical designs, the foolish American tourists were no match for the Australian Goliath Trapdoor Spider.
parkviewroad
Steve's building a raft to escape the island, he's currently looking for a string quartet to play while we eat and sail to safety.
M5000
Sandwave and sandwave junior, cause if you look over to the right a bit theres-oh fuck it, I'll never be funny...
neathy
Due to the economy, Dubai was forced to scale back their newest tourist attraction "LADDER TO THE MOON".
guessWHO
One thing everyone could always say about 'Little Timmy' and his sandcastle-building - He had alot of stick-to-it-tiveness!
IBCannonFodder
It was only a matter of time until dolphins fully understood the concept of netting..... Humanity never new what hit them.
Ubergeek
HOW'D IT GET BURNED? HOW'D IT GET BURNED? HOW'D IT GET BURNED, HOW'D IT GET BURRRNED???!?!?
HornyMusician
Finally the Earth got up enough courage to initiate it's own version of a Tsunami.
BillyZRay
And then God said unto Noah, "Perhaps the enormous, self-aware, cleaning supply cans could have taken care of the termite infestation ye forgot to take into account."
PepperPotts
Stardate 69293.6... We returned to Earth for a much needed shore leave. The crew happily vacationed at a resort called "Beaches," where we observed ancient "ocean wave" fossils.
Rob-omb
This is what architectural engineering based on a college diet of strictly ramen noodles looks like....
sniperowl
- ... and then you just put a-13 with w-82 and its done. - I dont know men, this definetly doesnt look like the picture in the box
RobByers
If you Squint you can see the strings that are holding it up. -C'mon im only 8 hrs late-
Indigo_Dingo
"Clueless fools" thought the wood. "They don't believe their own eyes. They don't realise I'm not structurally sound"
arthuraugustus
Organisers of the 2064 PyongYang Olympics were confident the main stadium would be ready in time.
petemclaux
what did the ocean say to the sand? nothing it just waved, so the sand took up a carpentry and architecture course so it could wave back
hibby989
The idea of a cruise ship has always been around. Unfortunately, earlier models weren't so successful
eRock
Underneath all that straw is a camel. He broke his back, but his spirit wanted more.
LosMuertos
Excuse me, can anyone tell me where I can find a large sculpture of two by fours...anyone...no?..turn around? Okay..w-wait....Oooooh..
Boxy
Whats' with the three little pig jokes? It's not a house. IT's the wicker versioni of J F K Airport. What are you all blind?
megaweege66
I've been through this whole damn thing and I still can't find the fucking needle!!
deaved_wrath
This is what happens when we use stick insects as test animals for the reverse-shrink ray/domination gene beam
SurrealPsycho
Upon reflection, the second little pig thought that building on LSD wasn't such a great idea after all...
Eyeone
Look! That guy in the middle of the wooden whale's mouth has tiny little red bat wings!
xgrendelx
When the blueprints for the latest wooden rollercoaster got lost, the construction crew decided to press on anyways. Idiots.
Bosephus5000
Judging by the size of it, I'd say Rosie's been cast as the title character in "Wicker Man 2: Wicker Woman".
mcfinley
The skills learned from creating models out of toothpicks...are still useless in the real world.
gypsy61
"Oh Little Pig, this is fabulous!!! Love what you've done with the place, so cute I could eat you right up ... in fact ... *gulp!*
Drunktoad
Only you can prevent forest fires, Smokey said - but what about when the forest turns on you?
jtklove
"I've got a little bag of nuts and bolts left over. I think I fucked something up."
Milkman
"And um...what exactly do you think this will do for our beach?" "Do? Hey fuck you! It's Post-Modern!"
xgrendelx
This is the best argument AGAINST the "This would be SO cool if it was HUGE!" thought that goes through your head when playing with matchsticks.
Saylem
"Quickly folks, snap your last photos and head to the bus, the Giant Falcon should be home any minute now"
deaved_wrath
This picture was taken just seconds before dozens of people were crushed by the biggest game of Jenga in the world. The shape is just a coincedence.
thepunman
Just off screen- Nicholas Cage and a woman dressed in a Bear costume covered in bees
divinecomedy33
"Enough breadsticks to feed every man, woman, and rabid seagull, you say?"
kengoldstein
Why pay $7 to rent a beach umbrella when all this driftwood is just lying around?
Drunktoad
The two guys in front with the wings clearly are going to be asking for their money back - Woodland looked nothing like this in the brochure.
Mankind_Hand
The giant wood desert shark is a ferocious creature that can leave entire beaches devoured
Drunktoad
On the horizon the decepticons are unsure of how to deal with this new transformer
WolfmansBrother
And God said "Take these popsickle sticks and build me a great bridge" God was not happy.
NoneTheWiser
Hey dude quick, take a picture of my cool devil wing things. Yeah ok, in front of that thing if you want
SlappyMcGee
Wow, I heard the Las Vegas housing market was hurting, but this is ridiculous.
kengoldstein
Sure, whaletraps are hard to build, but do you know how much a barrel of blubber costs nowadays?
FreddyGx2
You know, the more I think about it, maybe playing anti-gravity needle in a haystack wasn't such a hot idea....
Sevre90210
If you can find something better to do with giant popsicle sticks I'd like to hear it!
RivenHale
The horrid state of the economy leads some people to construct what are popularly known as "don't care anymore" houses.
Niche
-Remember the roach trap you intalled yesterday? -Yup -Well... this is the roaches coming back at ya
Savior77
Grain museum...nude beach...grain museum...nude beach...where to go, where to go...
technobot
The giant wooden land shark was finally defeated when he made the mistake of trying to eat a man and woman who had spontaneously combusted just seconds before the shark arrived.
lindsey.stier
Moments before a stoned hippie flicked his cigarette into the toothpick sculpture, things were going pretty well at Burning Man 2009.
Orphan used to be mrthereverend before his accounts were banned by David Wong.
crhino
wow, I didn't even notice all that wood above that hot wonder woman chick. Sweet boots.
gtrplyr515
Scientists found that the hull of the Titanic wasn't nearly as strong as they once thought
xpacerx
this is a preview of the next season of LOST... another fucking mystery added which provides more questions than answers.
Mr.Putter
Green Peace are very concerned about the rapid increase in the amount of stick fish currently being washed up on beaches
Guruawc
And in other news the groups known for underwater basket weaving has broadened their horizons.....
Saccharin
Tokyo, Japan: Masi Taranoka (age 11) proudly shows off his Spaghetti Bridge submission, which would later come in 5th place at his elementary school's competition.
ivecomehomenow
Cult Leader: "Alright everybody get your asses in gear!; Hale-Bopp's coming around in 2 months!, and remember Blue robes and Nike shoes."
gtrplyr515
They had finally completed the wood skeleton for the GREATEST SAND CASTLE OF ALL TIME!
neathy
" Look I know we're over budget J.C. but training the beavers to work here in the desert is BRUTAL, time-wise."
gtrplyr515
What is it? Well it's better than that retarded dancing can we got yesterday...
petemclaux
strange stacks on the beach, come on everybody, stacks on the beach, come on take some mescaline tonight. awww ehhh ahhh awwww
juicee
Tired of being outdone by the ocean, sand decided to fight back with their own tsunami.
That's going to be one hell of a show when they turn that amphitheatre into a bonfire.
thekevin74
Although Deadlier than the last, the new bacteria strain is just to large to infect the infadels...
iceman_419
They told me it couldn't be done! They told me I was crazy, well who's crazy now God!
NoFC
"So in the original, he's put in a wicker cage shaped as a man and burned to death? Well how the heck are we supposed to deliver all this wicker in time?" "Fuck it, I'll just call 'em up and tell 'em to get creative. Hah, maybe they'll use bees or s
BloodyCaesar
After the debacle with the self-aware trash cans from yesterdays craption, Noah asked God to critique his ark design. To which God replied, "hai dood, ur doin it wrong lol."
karloavera
And the extreme bike riders turn away in dismay: The ramp was still under construction.
Mark_S
This was an architecture project at burning man. It was intentionally burned down during the festival.
Gr3m1in
This week on Survivor Fabulous Island, red team finally finishes their shelter and invites blue team over for cocktails.
XtinaBoomGirl
Noah suddenly realised he'd instead built the makings of a bitching tiki party
Downtheline
The Bible isn´t much clear about what happened neither to the can nor to Noe's army of self exposing, pink bycicle riders constructors
Battlecat
See Howard, THIS is why you should always look at the plans IKEA sends with the box.
Aodan83
Now that we've built this amazing piece of art, heres only one thing left to do. BURN IT, MWAHAHAHA
FrogInABucket
We'd better hurry up and finish this arc, it's starting to look like rain.
Ewad
At the revealing of the new "Tsunami Defence Barrier" in Indonesia, many tourists decide it may be time to go to higher ground.
Boxy
Then we will build a whicker airplane and get off th is god forsaken fucking i island.
twinstronglord
Those are the bravest people in the world standing underneath that thing.
Ewad
The family of German tourists had out-right victory in the "who can put up the biggest fuck-off annoying wind-break" contest.
Zombie Hobbit
THIS is why you don't let kids design buildings. Well, stupid kids anyways. Not that there are any other kind.
ridethewalrus
This is what we get when Congress passes $797 billion for "shovel ready" projects.
Ledel
This wasn't what I was expecting when you said you wanted to surf the river styx...
OvaltinePatrol
A tribute to the toothpicks that sated the oral fixations of thirty years of action heroes.
Spenny
Noah's Ark was nearing completion... until Moltres swooped down and turned the vessel into a fiery pile of ash.
smoochy
Let's have a THEME for our Beach-Party,I Know,WICKERMAN.!!!!.Someone wants to say they already used this, Talk to the Tank.
rcgiff
It doesn't really matter what I write, because I'm posting this at 7:43 PM and therefore am doomed to irrelevancy.
Gromskar
Frank, How the hell does this sound like burning man?! And how did i get these wings?
nabtab
"I can't really think of a craption, all i can think about is lighting the bloody thing."
SarahWit
When Superman decided to relocate his Fortress of solitude to Miami so did Comic Con.
RobByers
c'mon people get out of the Ark, Noa already decided it was his wife and himself that live
raeve
and dey say we shud use less toilet paper cos.....dey can waste da wood on crap like dis.....
ArisaWilder
The physics teacher had no doubt - this bridge would definitely hold the weight of the bucket.
ArisaWilder
The National Society Against Brain-Eating Amoebas was off to a strong start with their sculpture - until, they realized that the ocean wasn't made of fresh water.
Zombiecross
Let me get this straight...we're gonna light this spaghetti altar on fire and ride through its flaming maw on that pink 5-speed, dressed as DBZ characters, in effort to summon the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Dude--you are a fucking genius.
lonestar717
Lincoln Logs newest edition to the biblical line of log sets: The Tower of Babel.
wordywonder
"Majorie! Look at what the Lord has done out here on the East Coast!" "Steve, that weren't the Lord, honey. That was a gay man named Tad."
oriondarkwood
One giant - $400 million 10,000 Ex-Large toothpicks - $20 million Something for people on Craptions to comment on - Priceless
jlowe424
I don't think having a gathering of flamers under your giant kindling structure is the safest way to spend your weekend.
cabutkowski
Ok, enough is enough. Someone needs to tell Larry his comb-over is getting out of control.
Stéphane
Melvin never dreamed that his fear of dumbfuck stick structures would one day prevent him from trading in his shiny green bag for some watermelon slices.
Bigtop
The focus of the new season of Lost. Spoiler alert: You'll still have no $%@#ing clue what's going on.
joefabian
Warning: Nicolas Cage has now seen this photo and is already making "The Wicker Man 2: Even Wickerier." Save yourselves.
Bigtop
Some say, that if you come here late at night, you can still hear the grieving moans of this guy's social life.
rodrigorenzo
As we are mindfucked by this, the 2 little winged devils below laugh at their plot.
riadach
And lo Jesus said 'and he who builds his house on sand, and out of lollipop sticks, truly is a fucking eejit'.
infantryman0311
Remember when all the other kids laughed at your popsicle stick collection?
smoochy
The GIANT eagle has Landed, And it's nesting. If someone already used this, I actually THOUGHT of it first,its just that both hands are broken and I'm using my nose to type, so it takes Me Longer.
Boxy
How did the wininng craption get 519 votes? There isnt' evern that many people on this site! I demand a recount!
Boxy
Liek a bridge over troubled sand? No wait that was water, this really is a bridge to nowhere.
QueenSativa
It's 3:30 so no one is going to read this craption anyway. *intricate tap dance number* Hachacha!!
DisAster768
Napoleon Bonaparte decided that Popeye was the only man strong enough for the job
Midiman
The elephant man felt awkward at the costume party but he felt certain his Knight Rider costume would defiantly get the crowd talking.
dillpop
"Screw this I'm leaving, that Xenu guys a dickhead." "Wait, come back here you insolent Carpenter ant!"
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