Other Craptions

"... this is Jane, wondering who I have to sleep with to cover a real news story around here. Back to you, Rob."

The winner will be the guy who stuffs his pillowcase full of bricks.

The terror threat level was immediately raised to "Rainbow" after this attack was made public.

She's reporting a fluff piece.

Yes, terrorists are attacking with all forms of pillows in what local police are calling" a really gay attack"

It wasn't long before the homosexuals and metrosexuals realized they could never live in peace. The war was devastating.

"And, as you can clearly see, my cameraman is being a dick and making me carry all the equipment. Back to you, George."

The carnage here is incredible, Bill. This city has directed its collective anger towards these poor birds. This is a sad day.

A protest turned violent today when the Tooth Fairy took the teeth but left no money.

Yeah, I'm typing this Craption totally nude... well, except for a pair of fuzzy socks. You know you want to vote for this one.

Man, I HATE hosting the bukkake porn awards.

Watch what happens now when I place this metal box in a pillow case and enter the fight ...

Walter Cronkite's Daughter didn't command anywhere near the respect her father did...

Girls Gone Wild: Mormon Edition

Who knew the Aflac duck was a suicide bomber?

"That's right Tom, it turns out that it was all fun and games until someone caught a zipper in the eye."

"...And in conclusion, the Jonas Brothers concert has set a new record for amount of gay."

This is Holly Diamond reporting from the glass ceiling just inches above my head.

People brought their blankets to this event too, but they had to turn them in at the door... there was a cover charge.

Geez, go cover a sexy pillow fight....

Goddammit, Frank, stop putting the camera on the girl in the turquoise shirt. We're fucking LIVE!

The annual Cocaine Drive was a huge success.

Fox News is having a hard time adjusting to the Obama administration.

“… declined to comment, other than to call the charges politically motivated.”

"...leaving 33 dead in suicide attack in Iraq. Back to you John."

...Police are worried the riot may escalate into a city-wide game of Truth or Dare.

Cracked finally ran out of pictures, huh?

The French-Canadian War

The wars of the future will be fought very differently than they are today. They will also be much more comfortable.

As the feathers subsided and peace was restored, everyone in attendance asked themselves only one question, "did we accomplish anything?" The resounding answer was a sheepish, "No." Back to you Bob.

Man this chick REALLY picked the wrong place to film her hard hitting student documentary on child rape

"Go fuck yourself, San Diego."

First rule of pillow fight club is dont talk about pillow fight club.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!! Well... except channel 5... but we tipped them off.

Pillow fights without naked chicks just aren't as fun for this lesbian host.

In an effort to fool people into thinking global warming is just some bullshit liberal agenda, Fox News decides to create it's own snow storm to report on.

The world rejoiced when cocaine was made legal.

And the lead story was about a waterskiing squirrel.

One young pillow's life is tragically cut short by a round of friendly fire.

I'm here on location where... fucking thing sucks! Fuck it, we'll do it live! I'll write the thing and we'll do it live!

Slow news day, eh?

Jane reporting from downtown where people went mad and started beating up geese with pillows that apparently where child molesters.

They are all felons! None of those pillows have tags!

Apparently this is news.

I guess it could be worse... she could be reporting the douchebag awards.

Now when we first reported about the Great New York Gang Bang, we may have been given some misinformation.

I bet the girl next to the camera, with the hot body, has an ugly face

After a foolish pillow declared that "We're bigger than Jesus now" Texas went into a pillow bashing frenzy...

And another angel fails to pull up in time. Ambulances are en route.