PenisVagina
If this is how Presidential races were held we would have had a black president 200 years ago.
jpj420
This is historically incorrect. We all know Roosevelt would have strangled the other three and walked camly to victory.
siromar
From left to right: Teddy Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, Judy Dench.
racedogg2
Abraham Lincoln was about to make a big comeback, but he got shot in the head.
Shrix157
Obama has the former presidents doing more than just turning in their graves...
mabogo
Dude.....When you said that you had tickets to see 'The Dead Presidents', I just naturally thought.......
geniuswaitress
Way to go, craptioners. Nice day to vote up the racist craptions. Jackasses.
madskillz1540
There was word president bush was going on mt rushmore...so these guys left
tallestmunchkin
Our greatest presidents: Teddy Roosevelt, Snidely Whiplash, and the two old guys from the Muppets.
duffman449
Amazingly, this was the most exciting thing happening at the Milwaukee Brewers game.
Blinker_Fluid
Sadly, Washington stumbled near the finish line, broke his leg and had to be put down.
MackAttack
Meanwhile, a lone FDR rolled across the finish line. True, it was an accomplishment, but he couldn't help but to think the "Special Presidential Olympics" was set up only to mock him.
tomwrotehisname
In a bid to increase ratings, the Paralympics broke out the 'exciting disabilities'
divinecomedy33
Though praised for his eloquent speeches, it was a little known fact that Lincoln ran like a little girl.
VladTheUmpire
"Hurry! We've got only hours to stop that ex-slave from becoming President!"
getittwistd
What's my Grandma doing dancing with presidents? Oh shit! That's George Washington! ...sorry grandma.
BaoDen
Their attempts to divert our attention from the real issues are getting kind of sad.
bydonn
"Why are we running? You know we can't out run that bear!" "We don't have to out run the bear; we just have to out run Lincoln!!!"
hgwellsfan
See, this is why time machines don't need to be made. Assholes would not use them properly.
onceabee
Fuck off Roosevelt would had just shot Washingtons arse off it he got that far ahead
Chernmax
The Republicans were all invited to Obama's inauguration under one condition!!!
Boonehams
I didn't know what to expect when I heard "Mt. Rushmore: The Musical", but this certainly wasn't it.
smileyjoseph
In days gone by, ex-Presidents had to earn their pension... in the bullring.
bydonn
The League of Presidential Heroes are off to fight crime, injustice, and over-priced vendors at major sporting events....
jekelish
So when they say there's going to be a run off election, this is what they mean?
Least
This is just plain unrealistic, we all know Lincoln would destroy everyone in that footrace
jekelish
And just when it appeared Lincoln would make a miraculous comeback, a giant headed John Wilkes Booth jumped out of the stands and capped his ass. Sic Semper Puppetheads.
agalryunaer
One more proof that shows that our political leaders are from an alien race. Damn you New World Order!
Animantis
Let me tell you a story about a big country where presidents end up being portrayed by silly mascots.
Iapyx
As with any presidential race, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how well you know the judges.
conquistador117
Not Pictured: Mobs of angry black baseball players close behind. (Lincoln's sort of off the hook, and thus, not running too hard.)
humanity
I knew Roosevelt would recover from his last race. http://www.cracked.com/craptions/archive/august-2008/941
SlappyMcGee
These are the champions. The losers are in left field, led by GW Bush, Nixon, Franklin Pierce and Jefferson Davis.
madskillz1540
Those guys are the farthest things from champoins, there in the cubs stadium first of all........
mexicanadian45
there's a black slave at the finish line. Jefferson wants to screw her, Abe wants to free her, Teddy wants to hunt her, and George just wants to be first.
rhaps
After losing a significant portion of their audience, the Muppets returned with an edgy new look.
b3rTy
George Bush was going to be in the race, but they where all out of Ape costumes...
KingVitaman
Prime time Ninja Turtles replacements, The Rough Riders, just weren't as popular as Cartoon Network was hoping.
badonia
This is blasphemy, this is madness THIS IS SPAR...no actually it's the 7th inning stretch at the mudhens game but still
getittwistd
Teddy Roosevelt? More like Pedo-Roosevelt...I mean just look at his smile, and that creepy moustache...
Truthiness
If Lincoln had better arch support then he could have easily outrun John Wilkes Booth.
MrSumada
These FOUR fathers better RUSH MORE if they plan on winning this electoral RACE!!! ... oh fuck it...
geniuswaitress
If you think the Presidential foot race is something, wait'll the Vice Presidential egg toss.
Binak_Algo
… and they worked hard to make possible the dream of a free, democratic and retarded nation…
tallestmunchkin
Sadly, after tripping and breaking his leg, Herbert Hoover had to be put down.
crazyivan
I can't imagine why Connery didn't sign up for the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen sequel.
NotAFurry
There are some guys who like prancing around in costumes of dead presidents. I, for one, like to shoot them.
geniuswaitress
Powdered wigs, pocketwatch chains and mustache wax half off? We're there!
phreesh
Finally, the great debate is settled, Washington WAS the greatest middle distance running president of all time.
Fkelleghan
In the colonial days, the Forefathers were assigned enormously high Hit Points, evidently.
KillerPineapple
Roosevelt chuckled to himself at seeing Jefferson, a brilliant leader, who still failed to wear black socks with black shoes.
Fkelleghan
As Washington, Dr. Sam Beckett knew he had to put things right that once went wrong...
bydonn
Oddsmakers have 3:1 on Washington, 8:1 on Roosevelt, Jefferson with 12:1 odds, and Lincoln is a long shot....
E_Dagger
The Presidential Race: Brought to you by those creepy ass Duracell commercials from 15 years ago.
nathyndg
Instead of rolling in there grave, the league of dead presidents had to do something about a black president.
dandaman
Y'see, kids, MLK Day was created so we could watch white guys with giant inflated heads play a game and lose. We call them "Republicans".
jovsky
the curious case of benjamin franklin and his cohorts.they're all running in reverse.
Chernmax
The republicans were all invited to attent Obama's inauguration with one little twist!!!
GhostRunner
With no salary cap, the Yankees decided "What the Heck, let's resurrect and sign some dead folks."
JohnYTsunami
I'm going to have to start paying attention to the presidential races from now on.
Rex-Jester
It's always been a point of fact that if you want to run for public office, you've gotta have a big head.
AustinCynic
Tired of being stuck on the $2 bill, Jefferson makes his move in the final stretch...
UrbanPreacher
Warning:Steroids shrink testicles and enlarge heads.pfffft!what a load of....oh wait!
cefenix
Not seen in picture: Sexy White House intern in snappy beret holding whipped cream and a cat-o-nine-tails.
Ithaqua
Blorgizz began to wonder if Ooznog maybe should have put in a little more research into his "earthling" costumes.
badonia
& then Randall Simon knocked the crap out of all 3 of them. (& proceded to go 0-3 at the plate) GO PIRATES!!
technotard
FROOOOOOMMP! Teddy Roosevelt shits giant Pez to propel himself into the lead!
tallestmunchkin
After Mt. Rushmore erodes, we must find a new way to honor our past great presidents.
Ozweego
Now we finally see that these huge multi-million dollar contracts have gone straight to their heads!
boblepongeII
Mutant Lincoln was not about to let Mutant Washington get away. Not this time.
Fabjet
Even though they were respectful, intelligent, good and big-headed people, most of all, they were real champions.
getittwistd
I had no idea that people's heads were that much larger in proportion to their bodies in olden days.
Gunnar
For some reason I thought Taft would be a little porkier than that... And why does Lincoln look like an albino chimpanzee?
MindPez
We - are the Champions - My Frie-end... And We'll Keep on Fight-ing - To the End... Du, du, duh.
kshipley
Hurry...everyone run from Lincoln, he wants us to free our negros and share the wealth...Fuck That
mactheknife
if only every baseball game had Hitler, a horse-man, Margret Thatcher, and James L. Woods.
Fonzie was first at bat. "Hey that isn't Yogi Berra, that's Yogi Beara. HAHAHAHA!"
Guttersnipe
Oh come on, we all know Teddy is going to win. He makes Washington look like a pussy.
tallestmunchkin
Every day, angry terrorists subject great American political figures to much humiliation.
Put That Shit Down
Guys? I don't think this is what they meant when they said "Presidential Race"
phreesh
It took awhile to settle the founding fathers down, but eventually they understood that the man they were trying to lynch was actually the next president.
jekelish
Geez, Roosevelt is so confident he's running with his hands in his pockets. Suck on that, Usain Bolt!
JZuck49
Washington and Jefferson don't stand a chance. The Pringles guy always makes a late push.
getittwistd
Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years I'm rocking my peers, Puttin' suckers in fear Makin' the tears rain down like a monsoon Listen to the bass go boom
divinecomedy33
Well, its not quite a mop..and its not quite a puppet...so to answer your question, I don't know.
humanoverlord
In the lead is Washington with Roosevelt and Jefferson just a length behind him, and way back there is the dark horse Lincoln.
tovarish_stulov
- Run Farnsworth!!! The Commoners are revolting!! - But Sir - we can't hanged if we have no neck...
Fabjet
After the successful Chinese spectacle at the last Olympic Games, in the US turn, they just couldn't get left behind.
mmmm...
Hu*bris [hyu'bris] Skipping along even when you know your swelled head will ultimately bring you and your country falling to your knees
bydonn
Not pictured: Stripper chasing them...after all, that's what she's really after - dead Presidents
crazyivan
You don't have to be faster than the Andrew Jackson chasing you, you just have to be faster than Abraham Lincon.
LilMoof
This is an old photo...those FOUR SCORED SEVEN YEARS AGO! (whaa...whaa..whaa..whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)
ajp1015
Stop me if you heard this one! So 4 of the 10 presidents the average citizen can name go running through a stadium..
Buschenweiser
Shortly after this, Teddy Roosevelt rose from his grave and killed everyone involved.
darthtanion
Good evening ladies and gentlemen to the 75th annual Running of the Presidents.
humanoverlord
The annual running of the Presidents in America is rivaled in intensity only by the running of the bulls in Spain.
_Phoenix_
Off camera, FDR is about to wreak mayhem with his big stick, courtesy of Louisville Slugger.
crazyivan
They felt like bastards leaving him behind, but they thought maybe if Jackson caught and ate Lincon, they might have enough time to escape.
ajp1015
I'm ashamed that not ONE of my country's presidents has the proper sprinting technique!
haefi
Is anyone else aroused, too?… No seriously, I never got the concept of male cheerleaders.
KillerPineapple
Jerry loved the novelty races more than the game itself. And each time he saw it his nose would glow bright red.
ivecomehomenow
Summoned from their long slumber in Mt. Rushmore, the ex-presidents race to the capital to lynch the first black president.
thevelveturd
Believe it or not, this the line up for a new CBS comedy premiering this summer. Hope its better than that Geico caveman thing.
MackAttack
What's inaccurate about this picture? If that were the real Teddy Roosevelt, he would have eaten the other runners and added their energy to his already awesome power.
Jenna_Tullwortz
Yeah, yeah, I get it. Presidential race.. har fucking har. Christ I need a drink.
Gentlemen, when we said we wanted you to run this country, we meant the other way.
Thel
Though holding the recognition of being the first biracial American president, Obama failed to make the cut for first president with a gigantic head.
KillerPineapple
Although currently in last place Lincoln smiled calmy, knowing full well that the snipers were in place.
haefi
What do people see in sports video games: it’s all about the funny big head cheats
crazyivan
They didn't know why Teddy was running, but when you saw him run, it was usually a good idea to run in the same direction.
goldengodzilla
It wasn't fair Ade's ears were way too wind resistant and George's wig was aerodynamic
KillerPineapple
And then four physically deformed and chronically ill adults rushed the field. Security simply didn't have the heart to tackle them.
KillerPineapple
How had it come to this? George Washington found himself at the World Series running from Lincoln and Jefferson while Teddy Roosevelt was apparently trying to eat him.
DamnitDog
What do all these presidents have in common with Nicholas Cage? A horrible taste in hairstyles.
KillerPineapple
The man dressed as George Washington suddenly realized what he was doing and that his entire life up to now was one gigantic failure. Ironically, his giant foam mask bore the exact same expression of thoughtful regret.
DamnitDog
There was much rejoicing when it was announced that Paris Hilton was NOT pregnant.
madaa1972
You've misinterpreted the picture...they aren't running...they are doing the MC Hammer!! Can't Touch This!!!
schmidttykr
Having decided that Mount Rushmore was a tacky way to honor presidents, the Springfield City Council unveiled the new presidental bobblehead jogging suits.
glevanut
In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court has decided that the Second Amendment is meant to give all men "the right to bear a giant foam head."
josohare
Once the other Presidents realised Abe was the devil, they hightailed it out of there
EcherDaAwesome
And I won't back down,and i'll stand my ground. I won't back dooooooown, ba-by, there ain't no easy way out...
bydonn
Sid and Marty Kroft stole some serious coin when they convinced the Phillies' front office to buy into this skit......
bydonn
".....please don't sit in front of me.....Please don't sit in front of me....PLEASE don't sit in-aw, c'mon!!!"
Simski
Horse races had lost a lot of their appeal after horses had gone extinct and been replaced by giant president heads.
GhostRunner
Not content with simply turning over in their graves, the For-Fathers decide to lynch George W.
kalsikinov
hmmm "eureka! i just realized why slavery was invented" to keep blacks from being presidents damn equal rights!
HamBaconEgg
I guess the forefathers came to save the world from that giant ant and the big red ball.
HamBaconEgg
Did any1 notice that the winning craption's user's name is "PenisVagina"?... O.o
homeskyllyt
Qualifications to become President: 1) You must be able to literally "run" against opponents, 2) must have a thousand fans fans there to cheer you on, and 3) you must, must, MUST look as if you have shit your pants.
homeskyllyt
Qualifications to become President: 1) You must be able to literally "run" against opponents, 2) must have a thousand fans there to cheer you on, and 3) you must, must, MUST look as if you have shit your pants.
homeskyllyt
You know, the Special Olympics just get more and more entertaining every year.
AidenPennant
As the others raced forward Lincoln had a revelation. Break dancing was the only way he could win the poeple over now.
HamBaconEgg
And season 3's America's Best Dance Crew is . . . (O_o) *sigh* so Mel Gibson took over the show you say?
Meg22
If he really couldn't tell a lie you would know he was only winning because of the steroids.
sinu
good thing Gerald Ford wasn't part of ths race, or he would have fallen down way to much!
sexylonghorn
The only thing surprising about this scene is that Teddy Roosevelt hasn't already killed the other three with his bare hands
elvisnake
Twenty minutes later, John Quincy Adams came limping by, shouting "Hey guys! Wait for me!"
Batman?
This isn't even a competition. Roosevelt wins, then blows the other presidents up.
davesarecool
Now I know why everyone keeps referring to the president’s race – it’s awesome.
Bionic_Crouton
President Washington's head is falling back, and to the left... Back, and to the left... Back, and to the left...
Pitacoatl
Suddenly Obama shake in fear at the sight of the frolic, muppetized zombies presidents claming his name...
dkaplun
And so it came to pass that the early Presidents ran away into the annals of history.
WratofDog
The Constitutional Convention dictates that should there be a tie between candidates for president, the victor shall be chosen by jig-off.
PandaBoy
weirdly J.F.K finished at the exact time as Lincoln, guess another thing to add to the list
general_koffi
The annual Running Of The Infidels in Turkmenistan. Kill them children... Before they lay their imperialist eggs.
sofaking
This is the first craption to make me laugh out loud upon looking at it with out a craption.
gymdog
ah, tis' the classic hunting of the washington, watch as the lincoln quietly stalks his prey
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