CavalierX
"If erection persists for more than four hours, please consult a physician immediately..."
chainfire
Mark was surprised how well the gargantuan red dildo distracted bystanders away from the dead body in his bag.
jared_can_do
Sadly, the doctors would never diagnose Tom's giant malignant tumor, as they were too busy high-fiving him.
philosopher_og
I hate those dicks that just walk around like they are the only person on the streets
DrTom
Don just realized that he should have waited until he got home before he took his viagra.
DesGardius88
WHY, THAT GENTLEMAN SEEMS TO BE HOLDING A PENIS-SHAPED OBJECT. WHAT ABSURD PURPOSE COULD IT SERVE? WHO CARES. IT LOOKS LIKE A PENIS. GOD DAMN, PENISES ARE SO HILARIOUS. EVERYONE MUST LAUGH AT THE PENIS. I LOVE POINTING OUT EVERY SINGLE PHALLIC OBJECT
siromar
In an exciting announcement, scientists declared the question whether black men have bigger penises finally settled.
geniuswaitress
"Marks and Spencer's is my last hope. If they don't carry humongous jockstraps, I'm doomed."
Milkman
"The return of Earth-Worm Jim!" Because making a penis joke for this is too easy.
Brett-Butler
Old King Billy Had a 10 foot willy And he showed it to the girl next door. She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And now it's only 5 foot 4.
Bionic_Crouton
Somewhere is a wife huddled in fear that her husband is going to come home horny.
onceabee
I knew i should have got him that giant cock for christmas! All those hints, taking me to see Milk, Rent, Jay Leno and i got him a jumper!
jared_can_do
Little did he know, that it was in fact a malignant tumor. The doctors never got around to diagnosing him, as they were too busy high-fiving him.
Solarisq
it was bring your kid to work day, john had no kids so he settled for second best...his kid maker
spalkonr72
he just came off the set of whalefuckers 9, but the scene was cut short because of the threat of explosion
geniuswaitress
Must be Tuesday. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays he walks around with an inflatable pussy.
Leaf
If you're going into marsandspencer remember to tell them that you dress on the right side...
crazyivan
Fred wiped a tear of joy from his eye. He'd carried his large plaid tote bag full of lube with him all his life, praying this moment would finally come.
darthtanion
Jo had raised concerns about the current Wall Street financial situation to which he was greeted with a chorus of "FUCK WALL STREET." He didn't know if he would succeed but damn it he was going to give it his best shot.
JackMcPoop
And Chris walked away from the fight ...because he just didn't have any balls.
420addict
Due to a misunderstanding, the presentation at the office didnt go well... not well at all...
Truthiness
Unfortunately Bill couldn't find a store at the mall that would accept dildo returns.
jbirchfield1
**I don't know how i'm going to get enjoyment out of this now that i'm so lightheaded from blowing it up.**
agalryunaer
After he found Christ, Mandingo had very bad luck looking for a new line of work
jmble
Just then Bill looked up in horror at what was causing the shadow and realized what was about to come down on him!
behindthescenes
Ralph realized just what was missing from that street light up ahead....
feel_the_force
''i think theres something on my camera lens. should i clean it incase somebody misinterprets this?'' ''no time! that pidgeon want stay still forever.''
Fabjet
"See, George? That HUGE thing over there? That's what i'm talking about when i say that i don't get the pleasure i need"
sofaking
Surprisingly, everyone avoided Mark and Spencer's Bait Shop despite their new inflatable worm.
CavalierX
"I'd like to return this giant inflatable dick I got for Christmas." "Sir, are you... absolutely SURE... it was purchased here?"
GuySendin
When they told me I'd get a huge severance package, I should have made them be more specific.
Leaf
After taking his Viagra, Keith would be the tallest person in the world for the next 2 to 4 hours.
JRob
Bill's therapy sessions have made him feel more confident... some may say he is getting way to cocky though.
BabyKicker
Bill was such a fan of The Game of Life, he carried a peg with him everywhere so everyone would know he's married.
Saturn500
Ken tried to face down the terrible monster Deldeaux, but it was already too long and it was now too hard to beat.
mrpeabody
And because we're an hour in and nobody has beat this dead horse: I find your lack of shame disturbing.
montanaguy
My daddy always said speak softly, and carry a giant dildo. Sometimes it's not easy being Ron Jeremy's kid.
JStanshall
Doctor Sakamoto gasped in horror, the Apparatus was never meant to leave Japan... and now it was loose on the streets!
CruciFye
Dr. Evil's new remote control robot worked great, but the antenna needed some work.
wareagle884
If erection lasts for for 4 hours, or suddenly becomes HUGE, call a doctor immediately.
Bucky
After defeating Hellboy in combat, Tom liked to carry around his souvenir from the battle.
jon740
After Tom slayed the giant he cut off his penis and brought it back to the village to prove what he had done. Tom was from then on known as a hero and also kind of an asshole.
JackMcPoop
It took many years, but someone finally found a dildo big enough for Madonna's vagina.
McIntyre
"I have a doctor's appointment at 3, hopefully no one will notice before then..."
feel_the_force
once he was a proud scientist working on penis enlargement. now he's just ''proud''.
nervousnerd
At last, the perfect cure for baldness. Now no one even looks at the top of my head!
badonia
dear nathan birch, you want dickonomics? bend over & we'll show you dickonomics. bookmark& spencer.com
Newsatan
With my clever wrap job like this my wife will never guess this years anniversary present.
Shurimpu
Mark is a really nice guy. Hell, he even buys inflatable phalluses for his inflatable lovers.
geniuswaitress
Next time you see the Pink Panther balloon in the Thanksgiving Parade, don't act surprised.
DragonFlyJones
Its ok man.... I used to be all Cock and no Balls too... then I found Scientology....
xaven
Deep marketing penetration. Shafting the competition. Erecting a new ad campaign. Penis
crooms
The Alien invasion wasn't all bad. Planet Dildo found the womenfolk of Earth to be especially accommodating.
mabogo
As he wandered back to his hotel from the whorehouse in a state of shock, Mark wondered if the the English / Danish dictionary had not somehow gotten the phrases "Suck my dick" and "Blow me, bitch" muddled together....
chromigula
No woman would ever understand the love Frank had for his giant pet earthworm Two-Veg.
Buschenweiser
He laughed quietly to himself thinking "Markandspencer.com is the absolute LAST website on my mind..."
spydrmunkie
After the balloon animal training day, Randal was asked not to return to clown college.
Solarisq
john wanted to surprise his wife with her favorite snack...so he stopped by the sausage stand on the way home. (Between you and me, johns wife was full from all the sausage she got while john was out. looks like john will have to try much harder....
Blammo
As Bob walked away with the money, he couldnt help but feel guilty for making the horse cry.
spalkonr72
if the erection last for more than a fortnight call the bomb squad immediatly
zbeebs
Mike, you're in charge of buying the Bosses Day gift...something that fits his personality...
Brayker
"With this, she'll overlook the fact that I forgot about our anniversary LAST year!"
T Bird
His giant purse business taking on the Grand Opening, he packed up his Wacky Waving Inflatablle Arm Flailing Tube Man and kissed his dignity goodbye.
Shane?
Well he's not gay. Notice how the giant penis is leaning away from the lights that look like testicles? On the other hand it is leaning toward a woman using a walker.
bigballs
Having the worlds largest Cock isn't that glamourous... But I'm not complaining
quademire87
contrary to popular belief, his hands and feet were in fact average to somewhat small
Matty87
Some where there is a women with a giant hot dog bun, just waiting to meet this guy
Fabjet
I don't wanna be around when that things gets its normal size, if you know what i mean
land_squid
MarksandSpencer make a profound statement about the econonomy, and just exactly what it can do to itself.
hecktermfour
As the worm erupted from its hole it thought, How many assholes will mistake me for a dick and make a joke about?
Jeppa
Come hell or high water, he was going to get a return on the Christmas present from his ex-wife
Mike_Wato
"Think about Janet Reno...think about Janet Reno...think about Janet Reno...dammit, it's not working!"
CaptAmerica
The giant sent Jack to London to find a Burberry purse and a dildo for his wife.
XtinaBoomGirl
Not surprisingly, no one actually had the balls to arrest this man for indecent exposure.
Supermanfxk
During his dig in Jeruselem, Steve was certain he had found God's penis, but he just couldn't convince anybody. So he walked home with his head hung in shame.
hadabochi
I know how he feels. I am also a sufferer of Extremly Large Penis Syndrome (ELPS).
getittwistd
marksandspencer.com is either gonna get a lot of business or a really bad reputation from this one.
Tikiz
ok this is gonna take some explaining but you see the .com store in the backround. ok ok ok. so its like hes in the internets and he clicked on one of the big penis ads. eh eh eh, pretty clever right. Fuck you guys, you dont deserve my wit
Riggz309
It's hard to tell for certain, but the guy in blue looks unimpressed... (whispering: because of the stereotype that black men have large members)
Chaos Merchant
"Unlike other super heroes, this guy just had a huge cock on his shoulder."
LordBungle
In England we may not have the right to bare arms but we do have the right to defend ourselves....
Greyejoy
John's friends thought that a propeller hat and lollipop weren't appropriate for his fortieth birthday.
xgrendelx
Every other man in this picture should bow their head.Both in shame, and respect.
Goategg
It's not the size..It's how you use it....It's not the size...... Oh god, I hope my girlfriend doesn't see this!
beaker53
More recently seen outside Woolworths... with... 'To employee's.. you have been DICKED'
Bell110
Can't a man walk down the street with a giant dildo and not be gawked at? What type of world do we live in?
Goategg
The doctors made a small micalculation during the blood transfusion... And Arnold was not displeased.
cushyb
Outa my wayI have to deliver this Wacky Waving Inflatable Penis to the Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man
BrettB
The antenna on this 1995 cell phone clearly displays that technology is a good thing.
Zaphod
Ironically, the bigger Phil's finger got, the less likely people looked where he was pointing.
Jediknight
Even after three hours shopping, Tom could not find a shop which sold adequate sized condoms
babaganoosh
why are we tearing this man down with mean, hurtful craptions when he's being open and fearless about his hobby of...well i'm sure it has something to do with a giant phalic object or something. nonetheless this man's balls must match the size of the
Leaf
He's going to go into marksandspencer.com, then walk out again, then walk in again, then out, then in, for about two minutes...
TheKingIsDead
Again, James made the long walk home, still wondering why Planned Parenthood would not hire him as a motivational speaker.
teff
"Jesus, Harry, why do you carry around that man purse? It's like you WANT people to stare at you."
pottman8
Fred could have picked the yellow dog at the fair for his prize, instead he chose the big red dick. His wife was not amused
RusH487
Silently, Jim stalked the pigeon. "If a cockslap won't kill him," he thought, "nothing will..."
artandfear
The villagers nodded approvingly as Tom and his magic bag of dicks faded slowly into the sunset.
Rex-Jester
Well, I'll be a triple-decker, sticky-fingered chicken licker. If it ain't Big Red (I'd know those boots anywhere).
ss61
The following stores will be fucked during this year's recession: Number 1. marks and spencers. Number 2....
megaweege66
and Dave thought that his awesome Orange Tank Top would be the center of attention
OlDirtyBen
It was becoming very apparent to Dave that pleasing the 50 Foot Woman was going to be no small feat.
isles147
And now for my next trick I will make this dissapear...why is everyone leaving?
CruciFye
People gave Mitch the drunk a wide berth to keep from being waylaid by his giant penis.
videogamer810
Nobody was fooled into thinking that Richard was actually born that hung. They did, however, come to the conclusion that he was both insecure and colorblind.
joe_underscore
Big red rubber used to distract people from his purse. Classic use of misderection.
seangotgame
This is not a phallic symbol, nothing to see here. Just keep moving along folks!
pharmmajor
Bob had successfully made off with millions in rare gold coins, all stashed away in his satchel. And during his getaway, he made sure he looked as inconspicuous as possible.
MotorcycleBoy
Professor Schmidt had proven to his own satisfaction that it took more than one lone male to constitute 'a hen party'.
KingVitaman
From the producers who brought you "Anchorman" and "Talledega Nights"...introducing "Walk HARD".
UncleBear
Everywhere else, you walk up to the gal and stick it in. In Texas, we stick it in and then walk up to the gal.
Higgins
You may think that prosthetic is quite large, you are wrong. Compared to just one of it's enourmous testicles, which as you can see is threatening to eclipse the sun already...
jfbeltran
Timmy had asked for a snowy christmas, and if the weather didn't deliver well he damn well would
jfbeltran
Now that Obama is president white guys get all the cock size they missed for not being a majority... all at once
jfbeltran
Everyone kept their distance... With his extreme case of premature ejaculation all it took was a bump.
jon740
"Well this oughta do it," said Tom gleefully. He then took the giant dildo and went home, certain that he would finally be able to pleasure his gigantic wife.
Kryptos18
It is I, DONGSLAYER! I will strike you down with my fabulous MAN-PURSE of GORGOTH!
Brett-Butler
Given the funny looks Mark received on his way to the dump, he realised it wasn't a good idea to strip the Christmas tree before dumping it.
whirlwind201
Despite the befuddled stares and snide laughter it brought, Leroy couldn't be happier with the results of his implant.
zbeebs
I know it hasn't been four hours yet, but you may want to see your doctor immediately.
AlecJace
Bill was embarrassed. No matter what he did, he just couldn't get people to stop staring at his giant man purse.
fielder69
mark's and spencer target the gay demographic by letting dicks in their backdoor
moyz32
in these hard ecomnomic times, Marks and Spencer diversify with a subtle "Adult" product range
Chaos Merchant
There once was a man from Nantucket... I saw him downtown today... He walked rather tall with his dick and his balls... and yes, it's as big as they say.
breakingstrain
"Now, if I can get the two balls from the lightpost, my magnum opus will be complete."
crazyivan
Glen froze in his tracks. Two months ago, the patent office had laughed at him, but now Marks and Spencer was selling the largest vibrator in the world, and Glen was left with no legal recourse.
In case you were wondering, you need to be that big to get away with carrying a purse.
bannista7
The town of Nantucket was know for one thing and one thing only and he didn't mind...no sir he didn't.
DamnitDog
After traveling all the way to New York City, Steve was still unable to avoid the shaft.
c0rnd0g5
I don't need this or this. Just this bag. And this big pink dong, the bag and the pink dong and that's all I need........
LuckyGrills
Step 1 - Strap penis tightly until it turns pink. Step 2 - Hold penis in an upright position. Step 3 - Prouly display afore mentioned penis in public.
PalinIsNotAMILF
statistics indicate that both of those children from yesterday's craption will be molested on the commuter train
JackMcPoop
Oh yeah, like this is any worse than videotaping fat peoples fat ass's and putting them on the news.
LuckyGrills
Is that a giant inflatable penis in your lapell pocket or are you just happy to see me?
LuckyGrills
The giant penis was happy that no one noticed him walking down the street with he's inflatable sex man.
Dv!nc!
Tom always had a way with the ladies due to his extremely large and pleasurable pointer finger.
LuckyGrills
Dan Brown's new book, 'Dildo's and Bald Men - The symbolism of the phallus' is out now. Those street lights kind of look like balls too.
LuckyGrills
Phallius Fogg's latest ballon for he's round the world quest raised more than a few eye brows.
bydonn
Seen just moments after the remnant sale from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.....
bboykarma
the one guy in the world capable of immediately wiping the smile off Bob's face
bboykarma
the one guy in the world capable of immediately taking the smile off of Bob's face... up yours Enzyte!
Dekkeret
Bill really hated it when people stared at the growth on his face...OR...Bill really loved it when people stared at his giant cock.
rcgiff
This is what happens when you get one of those four-hour-plus erections from Viagra.
EddyG
Mike wasn't exaggerating when he put on his Craigslist hes penis was bigger then he was
Wholeshoe
Its just a pink tube. Why must people turn this picture into shambles by relating it to pornographic material?
ELFfromToronto
Obey Me!(the red giant acid-spitting deadly radioactive worm from Mongolia)
whoyoulookingat
talk about low self esteem. The purse really doesn't go with your huge (fake) dick.
explodercide
While hard to get, Birmingham NEC were able to get all the items listed on Paris Hilton's backstage rider prior to her concert.
Jmx70inNJ
As long As I only make fun of asian pronunciation, and not Negros, its not racist, according to cracked .com
Jmx70inNJ
just dont poke fun at any other minority other than Asian, they appear to be "fair game" on cracked.com
chewie402
Some people have no class at all. There is no excuse for walking down the middle of the street wearing an orange muscle-shirt in this day and dage.
feel_the_force
and so, the hobo packed his things. his bag , hat and giant inflatable cock and walked off into the sunset.
ajp1015
When Tyrone says his can cast a shadow that turns day into night you tend to believe him...
xgrendelx
Pamela Anderson has stretched it out so much over the years, she finally finds the one man who she can still feel when he's inside.
feel_the_force
you would think having a cock this big would make you more of a man...it dosen't.
Goategg
After missing his long-lost daughters 1st-25th birthday, Frank decided to make up for lost time.
wamsachel
the penis joke is so easy in this one...there must be something else, something clever...ohmigod, i can't, its just so fucking pink
ScHyZ
Ok... this as nothing to do with the picture but why is there ads everywhere on the front page for Disaster Movie? having this much ads on a good comedy site is like if Brazzers were promoting incredibly old woman genitalia... and believe me i have
ajp1015
You think it must be all fun and games but imagine...having to stay erect just to keep from dragging it behind you and dogs tugging on it.
hadabochi
A souvenier from Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch. I seen them in the gift shop. I think they were $5 or something.
feel_the_force
I Knew I Shouldn't Have Bought A Penis Enlargement Kit From A Man In A Pub
Gatt
Don't you worry, things are lookin' up for ole Gil. So long as I've got a song in my heart and blood in my throbbing cock.
DesGardius88
WHY, THAT MAN SEEMS TO BE HOLDING A PENIS-SHAPED OBJECT. WHAT ABSURD PURPOSE COULD IT SERVE? WHO CARES. IT LOOKS LIKE A PENIS. GOD DAMN, PENISES ARE SO HILARIOUS. I LOVE POINTING OUT EVERY SINGLE PHALLIC OBJECT I SEE, EVERY SINGLE DAY, REGARDLESS OF
exnavalgunner
scientists have invented a device that can receive images of elton johns dreams
DigitalNucleus
OH MY GOD! That is disrespectful, insulting, and just plain disgusting. That plaid man purse should be ashamed.
crazyivan
Fred jumped up and clicked his heels in pure joy. For once, he wasn't the biggest dick around!
breakingstrain
I can only imagine the embarrassment this poor soul must feel... walking the streets with a giant man-purse.
Richard never realized that the gigantic tumor on his taint would make him so popular with the women.
NG14916
If it's not obvious to you that he's gay, then you clearly have no idea what he's going to use that dildo for.
crispy
--Here lay down and I'll tell you if it looks swollen --You sure, right here in public? Well alright
DragonFlyJones
Sorry Bruce... the industry just doesnt have a need for huge uncircumsized penis' anymore...
pcyopick
Seeing the effects of Steve Job's hormone imbalance, I understand why he didn't give the MacWord keynote.
RusH487
Ottis tried desperately to hide his face... The Enzyte/Viagra diet was not working out as he'd originally planned...
Fabjet
Steve didn't know the chaos that he was going to create at cracked.com craption section as soon as accepted to be uploaded a picture of him and his good red friend appeared on the site.
ritsuka
i agree with the people in the photo. it is very unusual to see a man with a plad purse.
rsfa131286
Is that a giant cylindrical balloon in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
fafarikul
Moments later, many slaps in the face are heard and women whining: "Why aren't you so considerate like that guy?!"
katishea
I lost my leg in Vietnam, so they built me this new really big penis to make up for it. (my real penis is actually my new leg...hey baby)
bobina
Someone needs to tell that guy that carrying that thing around could cause him serious back problems later on in life.
bobina
Well no wonder it's swollen, those rubber bands are cutting off your circulation.
jfbeltran
Once he hung it from the lampost the perfect penus would have the perfect balls
MindPez
I'm sorry! It's, It's the pleats. It's actually an optical illusion, it's the pattern on the pants that's not flattering in the crawthal region. I'm actually taking them back, taking the back right now, to the... pants store.
gmoney8
Chuck Norris was walking down the street with an erection... There were no survivors.
killergluestick
Mark and Spencer didn't know what giant red phallus-shaped objects had to do with suits, but they're sure as hell gonna find out
killergluestick
Jerry's clever plan to inflate a giant red penis on the street to take people's attention of his man purse was working perfectly.
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