Other Craptions

Excuse me would you like to volunteer for a medical study.

Excuse me but I somehow ended up in the wrong craption. Can you please point the way to Little Jimmy's nightmares?

Do you have any Grey Poupon?

Aw, mom, you always make me come home just when I'm having the most fun.

I got nothin'. Roseanne's tampon service technician? Fuck it, it's the end of the year and I need a drink.

Are you going to stop eating meat or is PETA going to have to get medieval on your ass?

HELP ME I JUST ESCAPED FROM GARY BUSEY'S HOUSE!!!

"Congratulations! It's a... block of wood..."

Yeah... um... so I need help changing my tires so I can flee the police.

'No, Carl, keep driving. I'm all out of change, and they just dirty up the windshield.'

HELLO CAR! I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SCIENTOLOGY.

How dare you question my credentials. I'm a board certified physician.

Hi Helen....It's me, Carl...Remember that time you stood me up for the junior prom? It nearly killed me, but I've been released now, and......

I'm not sure if they meant stake or steak, but I want to be sure the vampire dies.

I am doing promotions for Saw the Musical, would you be interested?

"Yeah, well fuck you too sir!! If you know a better way to tenderize meat, I'd like to hear it!!!"

Jim, that is not the valet, keep driving.

Meat is MURDER! Tasty, tasty MURDER!

It is now apparent that Jimmy has finally destroyed his nightmares...and now needs a ride home.

Sad thing is, the guy in the car is going to buy it.

Hello! Excuse me may i get a ride to my safe house where i don't slaughter people and eat their genitalia?

What it finally took to get O.J. convicted.

"All right, you can get in... but wipe your feet!!!"

Get a job! Fucking zombies

Mexican healthcare

Well, the guy knows how to get a taxi's attention!

"Would you be interested in buying this only slightly used plank of wood? "

Some professional assassins are subtle and brilliant. Others....

Give me a dollar and I will go away...

"Did somebody call an exterminator?"

"This is not what it looks like, it's a big misunderstanding. And yeah that's not blood."

This is why I don't valet park when I visit the Gaza strip.

Why, yes, I am a real doctor. I 'WOOD' 'STEAK' my reputation on it..... I am so, so sorry.

Brains! Brains! ... 2008 Ford, 2008 Ford!

"Free sample! Free sample! What? Look at me! Of course it's fresh!"

Where the fuck is the getaway car? It was supposed to be here an hour ago!

Is there a doctor in the car??

What intelligent zombie outbreak?! Let me in the car! Save me, too!

Jeffrey Dahmer had a son Ee i ee i oh!!

What's it take to get a cab in this god damn town!!

Sex in the back of a car was going to be a new and exciting experience for Steve...and Steve alone.

"Sorry Mrs. Johnson, but this all of your husband that we could save"

This is what happens when you get addicted to playing with your morning wood!

"Ooooo Ooo wait, the funniest thing is the cops think OJ did it."

Steve was later arrested for showing off his organ in public.

Honey, let's pick up that man! He's wearing a doctor uniform, there's no way he's a serial killer!

"What?You want me to be your Pretty Woman?!?! No! What do you think i am? a piece of meat with some hard wood"

WHAT?? Oh no don't worry... she was a bitch... she deserved it.

The homeless CSI technicians never got much from passing motorists.