Wileypube
What did I do last night? And why can't I get the taste of pennies out of my mouth?
GaseousClay
Those aren't statues, they're structural members. They keep the building erect.
CavalierX
Ol' Jabba's been getting a little crazy with the carbonite lately, hasn't he?
Gatt
The Riviera: Where drunk hobo dicks have to be sugically removed on a daily basis.
spud
It looks like (Insert geek-speak reference here) and (Insert obscure 1990's video game character here) did the (Insert crude reference to the female anatomy) while Chuck Norris (Insert swear word), (swear word in all caps) !!!
Xcaliba1452
WHAT THE HELL they didn't finish the sentence now ill never know why they are all wearing thongs and mounted in a wall!
nebacahnezzer
yesterday's craption was so terrible, how could so many of you vote for it. am i taking crazy pills?!?!
Sev Squad
well how can the measly "blue man" group compete with this? the "golden girl" group should be... you know come to think of it the blue man group is pretty snazzy...
agalryunaer
The porn version of Futurama's episode when robots had to fart together to save the earth
tallestmunchkin
Puns of steel. Note: that pun is still funnier than the "No ifs ands or" one.
agalryunaer
One can only wonder what the hell the architect said to sell his visionary idea
An_Arkist
When the fat chick revolution finally came, skinny stripper girls were the first against the wall.
ScHyZ
What kind of phrase do you want me to do if I can't use ''if'' or ''and'' and ''or''... do i look like a fucking semantic expert?!?
QuickWit
Finally, the police captured the Magnificent Seven... Now all they had to do was frisk them.
grafton
No "Ifs" "Ands" or "Recognition of the Last 40 years of Womens' Rights Progress"
KillYourself
When you put a quarter in one it bends over and tells you how you're helping her pay college tuition.
Zaphod
some people bronze their kid's first shoes, shieks bronze their kid's first harems.
Zaphod
You know that rule about not touching the strippers? You can thank Midas for fucking that one up for the rest of us.
behindthescenes
A thousand years from now, an archaeologist will declare, "Look, there was a temple here!"
Swaimfan
And this monument here immortalizes that one brilliant moment when the casino's blind stripper group walked into the wall.
Bosephus5000
Han Solo was not Jaba the Hutt's first carbonite statue, nor his favorite. That honor went to his "7 Wookie Prostitutes at Attention" piece.
Swaimfan
It's a little known tradition that the night before the award ceremony, the Oscar trophies get a special treat.
SRLivewire
For some reason, paramedics get called to this location every time the weather falls below freezing
duffman449
The newly found remains in Pompei left many scientists scratching their heads...and horny.
SirButternut
It's all well and good; just until you think about what the man who carved this was like.
Cheekstheclown
Licking them will not only give you hepatitis, but also mercury poisoning.
MrDylan
It was number three officer, I'm sure of it. I'd recognize that fine ass anywhere.
phreesh
When it came to getting rid of his dead hookers, Dave gave new meaning to 'hiding in plain sight'.
phreesh
This being Vegas, they'll be torn down in five years and replaced with eight platinum ones.
DamnitDog
A Christmas Carol in Vegas. Guess where the kid gets dared to stick his tongue?
smallshrimp
Tomorow we will almost certainly get a picture of another wall, possibly with something sticking out of it, and someone will humourously remark 'the other side of yesterdays picture'. We will all laugh, they will win with 310 votes
OlDirtyBen
That caption is misleading; there is very clearly at least one "Butt" on display.
SRLivewire
What REALLY happens after the Academy Awards when the OSCARS party with the TEEN CHOICE Awards.
Mr_Warmth
Just because Jabba froze him in carbonite, was no reason for Han to be lonely.
ShawnStu
and you thought the Buddah belly at your local Chinese restaurant got a lot of wear?
flyerzrule
...and this is what happens when you overstay your time in the tanning salon.
getittwistd
The "Buns of Steel" workout videos are considered almost to successful in some cases.
Brett-Butler
Don't worry girls, if we look away, they won't realise we stole the Golden Thongs of Cincinati...
moyz32
the crazy girls, introducing sporty crazy, baby crazy, posh crazy, ginger crazy, scary crazy and ..... oh, i ran out of names....
ajp1015
And then grandma told me about being one of seven to win the prestigous Crazy Girl lifetime achievement award...I haven't seen grandma in seven years.
LilMoof
Why are those ladies running into the wall? There's a perfectly good door to the right...
bobleponge
The original design for the Vietnam War memorial was preferred by all the unmarried veterans.
ThomasOconnor
"we provide this peice of art for the cheepskates and the married men who are unable to come in"
LilMoof
No no...someone already had sex with this building..and gave it crabs! See?? http://www.cracked.com/craptions/archive/august-2008/939
jbirchfield
Despite all their dancers having extremely small breasts 'Crazy Girls" still managed to draw in a crowd......at least outside
kvinnan86
This Las Vegas hotel decided that this what this new style of glory hole lacked in privacy, it made up for in realism.
decase
Its the new Vegas show, Star Whores, Rear end of the Jedi.....this is part where the jedi hookers are frozen is carbonite
Gregoclock
you're all gonna be pissed when you see a front-shot of all these pantsless men with mullets
SmoothJ
With Han Solo's escape, and no bounties left to hunt down, Boba Fett's life had been reduced to carbonite freezing parlor tricks.
NRA_4_EVR
Los Angeles female molds. Just fill with silicone, deceit, shallowness, vanity and ego centrism - but make sure you skip the part where you add a soul.
hijodela
The interdimensional soccer league ladies lined up for the penalty kick. (oh and Han solo, if and but, hard dick, Chuck Norris etc.)
siromar
And Lot knelt and pleaded "Oh Lord, turn my hooker not into salt, for my eyes needeth some candy" And the Lord obliged. Numbers 23:17.
feel_the_force
pull on the second arm from the left, and the wall revolves to reveal Dr. Frankenstein's love dungeon
MightyMike
I have a humorous story about this place. Although the police didnt see the funny side...
Mr.Solitaire
Little did 007 know that Goldfinger's actual plan wasn't nearly as tyrannical, but three times as sleazy.
mikeyscouse
in a new attempt to assasinate john connors, the terminators created a new machine that no man could resist..
Fkelleghan
The house always wins... but sometimes passers-by do wind up with more in their pockets than when they started.
Skandrannon
Brass Ass... the new theme of Vegas... clearly a town for family fun... or fun families... or is it fun making families...?
BeardedClam
Not pictured: The seven bronze dicks on the otherside of the wall. This IS the transvestite Hall of Fame, afterall.
Fkelleghan
Around the other side are statues representing "Hear No Evil" and "Speak No Evil."
jbirchfield
Those bitches must be crazy...I sure as fuck wouldn't let somebody bronze me and make me stand in front of a building all day.
zdenali
I've heard of bronzing your first shoe's but bronzing your first 7 girlfriends is too much.
Mr.Birchfield
Fuck the life size replica of the cryogenically frozen Han Solo bust, I want this for Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
darthbogus
We will rember this family reuinon for ever. Right, Grandma, Mom, Old Aunt Sally, Cousin Peggy, Aunt Kathy, Other Grandma, and Dad.
Vagabundo
Wait till they turn around and you see the moustaches, then the REAL fun begins.
scraffa
ASSume the position girls. ... now move your hands a little closer to her ... now let us pour all this bronze all over you
Vagabundo
If we fart alltogether, well destroy the world, or turn into bronze statues. Anyway, lets try it.
Stretch
In 40 years, some poor kid will share an uncomfortable silence with his grandmother.
Vagabundo
These girls are so fuckin crazy theyll stay the whole day through just standing there, naked, staring at their reflection. And kissing it. All while wearing high heels.
ClintBeastwood
The Riviera convienently forgets to advertise their all she-male show.........at least until you get to the other side of the wall.
Mr_Warmth
I really hate it when people write craptions to bitch about other craptions...Uhhh...I errr...mean... Your move Brasso.
Mr.Birchfield
I would much, much rather see the Hustler Hotel and Casino with a slogan like "Show Me The ... Shot!!!!"
jbirchfield
Dorothy: "Follow the Yellow Brick Ro-----Hey!! where did the Tin Man go???" The Scarecrow: "Oh he's back there fucking those bitches"
MARCS
Although he was killed in his last night out in Pompeii, Antonio couldn't think of a better way to go out.
MARCS
No one would forget the last performance of the Mt. Vesuvius girls performing at The Pompeii Gentleman's Club.
Indigo_Dingo
And you thought Goldfinger just buried his assistants after he killed them.....
tthom979
Where O.J. wishes he was instead of prison. There are better things to do in Vegas than kidnap and rob people.
toast323
The tin man's sex life was getting pretty turned on since he screwed up with Dorothy..
spud
The rare, deadly Brass-Colored Amazonian Centipede lures it's hapless Human prey by wiggling it's thorax and pouting it's proboscis ...
szuran
A carbonite glory hole. Now you now why Han Solo had this look on his face while being frozen.
behindthescenes
While Robert Palmer missed out again this year on being inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame, the girls of "Simply Irresistible" were forever immortalized...
toast323
King Midas' attacks on expensive hookers in Las Vegas have not decreased a bit since we came here last year.
toast323
Using a huge collection of old pennies, the porn industry tries yet again to impress us...
RyanPalmz
Finally, all those years of carefully crafting perfect stone statues, and pouring his heart and soul into his business... Frank's dream job had just arrived
SmoothJ
With Han Solo's escape, and no further bounties left to hunt down, Boba Fett's life had been reduced to carbonite freezing parlor tricks.
MotorMouth
Despite being immune to almost all known weaponry the Bronze Amazons were thrawted by that most fiendish of Earth's inventions... the door.
toacosmo
Thier other location in texas was nowhere near as sexy...just between you and me, it featured overweight white guys with racist tatoos. The costumes are exactly the same, though
pills74
No one knew that aside from being a bounty hunter, Bobo Fett also liked to keep "Trophies" of all his ex-girlfriends.
hoochiscrazy
I f I were gonna be turned to metal for eternity, I at least ask them to hide my cottage cheese!
Kaniki
I can understand why Han Solo was put into a deep-freeze but this just seems like such a waste.
Truthiness
This is how Chuck Norris inspects his girlfriends before a night on the town. No ifs ands or butts.
BowToTheBard
Please don't vote for the craption about YESTERDAYS craption. An original one, about TODAYS craption, deserves to win. Vote for the dead hookers one, that's clever.
flexoman01
Unfortunately, the copious amounts of lead paint caused almost instant blindness. Needless to say this was not Criss Angel's biggest success.
toast323
The "Brass Ass" statue was ranking amongst the very best artifacts that make gay people's heads explode.
Roscoe
"Rubbing a statue's ass always brings good luck, just like with a real hooker." -- Mark Twain
SRLivewire
PERVERT #1: The one on the left feels kinda like my WIFE ... PERVERT #2: ... Yeah, it does ... PERVERT #1: What?? WHY YOUUU LITTLE ... !!!
Jenna_Tullwortz
When it came to polishing the statues it was obvious certain parts received far more attention than others.
Fkelleghan
Try though they might, Prince Charles still threw them over for an older and less attractive woman.
Obtusetriangle
Though done artfully, this display of copper booty caused the Statue of Liberty protest.
Saccharin
Outside the fabled Backstage Pass vendor at the Radio City Music Hall Christmas Spectacular.
JoeSpence8604
...And although they were turned to stone...The crazy Girls felt they got their point across to Medusa
joebu23
This comes with two fountains. One brown, which turns on twice a day and one red which turns on once a month.
Shane?
In other news, seven men were rushed to the emergency room today with broken penises. They were each mummbling incoherently about seven bronze goddesses.
Lakitu
Nice to see people still taking a liking to the frozen carbonate advertising these days.
Dekkeret
Alright ladies! Just stand still, this will only hurt for about 5 minutes...each.
Dekkeret
Even though they were just simple astro-hookers, Jabba felt they were skimming off the top a little too much.
llcooldrew
Or... Or? Or what? Come on the suspense is killing me. You bastards are worse than Seacrest.
llcooldrew
Maybe I should read a few before I post. Then I would look just a little bit less like an asshole.
DattMekker
Well, the Tin Man finally got his heart...and soon realized some other nice effects of all that new blood being pumped
WLTwitch
My anaconda don't want none unless it got buns hon'. Obviously my anaconda is going to be really busy.
WLTwitch
After having sex with these statues, I've concluded that I still prefer fucking corpses.
SRLivewire
Today the Senate narrowly defeated a bill that would have created a National Monument to the 7 HOTTEST Mistresses of the Presidents ...
Indigo_Dingo
Wih the economic collapse, advertising for Boradway Shows has gotten a little more persuasive
Goonberg
Listen to what your mother old told you as kid, "If you get naked and stare at marble for too long, your ass will turn to brass."
crackedkills
This is the explanation of what yesterdays craption does to women who improperly use umbrellas....
ScHyZ
Do I have to use WD-40 as a lube if I masturbate to this photo?? and do I really need to wipe it off with aluminium foil?
Captain.Sassy
Junkka wogga nip magrhal Han Solo... maka Jabba dinkta... nizk wug bripsto 'sexy babes' naga?
Mr_Warmth
The porn industry releases the design for their awards show statuette. They're calling it the Spoogie.
Zaphod
"What the hell did you do?!?!" "Well, you *said* you wanted them with bronzed skin..."
toast323
Steve, mabye you didn't understand what I meant with "getting stoned", but seriously WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!?
kagezan
Buns of steel! Nah, too easy. I just hope that guy who got his dong stuck in that park bench never travels outside of China...
colin_in_sick
Obviously the management never has to worry about polishing the asses, thanks to the hands and mouths of countless randy tourists.
behindthescenes
There are few things in life that Jennifer will regret: That flower tattoo, that one guy from the bar, that bikini picture she posted on MySpace...oh, and that week where she posed for an artist.
Crackednutter
i give it one week before all the hobos wear down the copper from all the rubbing.
OlDirtyBen
How many drunken frat boys have been arrested trying to sodomize this monument to good taste?
holeintheboxers
I feel sorry for the guy who has to clean drunk guy splooge off those statues everyday.
MacAttack
Wow the solid gold dancers are performing tonight! Wait a minute something doesn't add up here... THERES NO FIRE EXIT! Enjoy your death trap chumps!
mikeyscouse
it pains me to think ill never bag one of those babes.. no they do replicas down the block from here..
reecelad01
this warns off the guys from getting horny in this place coz who wants to bum a gall with a steel ass
Robseven
Map with power, George Lucas has his favourite members of the "Pussycat Dolls" and "Girlicious" frozen in carbonite.
DarkRubberDucky
Maybe they are trying our that "If her nose touches the wall first" thing....
Sylocat
Ever notice how you have to get in within the first 10 minutes of a new pic being posted for your caption to have a chance of making it past about 3 crack-ups?
ColonelLazers
You know how if you lick metal in winter your tongue gets stuck? Well, I've got a proposition for you.
Nether
Booty, booty, booty, booty rocking everywhere..."FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TOM IT CAN ONLY BE FUNNY SO MANY TIMES!"
DaveO67
Star Wars fans gathered from around the world to save these ladies from their carbonite cell at the new Jabba the Hutt strip club.
harleyquinn
There are no 'if it's a woman, I'll shag it' nor any '...and if I'm really drunk, I'll shag it anyway' moments at the Crazy Links Club. Because they've got wall-to-wall ores.
Dekkeret
Well with this win we see that even idiots strive for enlightenment at Cracked. Yes we all know she does not have an umbrella, some people just glanced at the pic and made a mistake. Now pretend she has an umbrella and-...oh, feel that? Yeah it's l
CrackerJacker
For 47 payments of 19.99, you will receive not ONE, not TWO, but MANY life-sized "Touch me better" Barbie Dolls! Call now, and you will receive this BONUS Ken doll!
mcblowjay
to the writer of the craption that is probably going to win: i bet that almost everyone understood why yesterday's craption was funny but you had to go and ruin it by pointing out the obvious. FUCK YOU!!
Serges
These guys look pretty good after a little chisel work, huh? Yeah... you were totally checking out copperdudes.
WLTwitch
I could say "I sodomized everyone of these statues with my rock hard cock", but I have class
WLTwitch
These are the kinds of women I like. Long hair, hot ass, and alive when when I poured molten copper over their soft supple skin.
WLTwitch
What the hell does it say up their? Gagg Cisls? Crzz Oisls-? Crgy Gisds? English Please!
WLTwitch
What the hell does it say up there? Gagg Cisls? Crzz Oisls-? Crgy Gisds? English Please!
popetyrone
It is really sad that the best craption for this amazing picture has absolutly nothing to do with it.
SRLivewire
Today's winning Craption violates the First Rule of Craptions, "you do not talk about Craptions". And also the Second Rule of Craptions is "you DO NOT talk about CRAPTIONS!"
feel_the_force
Vegas has a new innovative way to tackle youths spray painting walls. I mean, what 15 year old is going to deface THAT?!
MICHAELDTY
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? NONE, because their hands are on each others asses.
Slackjawed
And the rest of the Greek Pantheon decided to never again take Medusa to a strip club.
Slackjawed
And the rest of the Greek Pantheon agreed to never take Medusa to a strip club again.
xpacerx
don't you hate it when someone copied your craption and has more votes than you?
WonketheSane
Apparently there's no "Riviera Hotel & Casino" here... I guess we'll stay somewhere else.
brad.a.turner
Look on the other side and you'll discover they're actually long-haired men.
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